Currently a student in Finance, working in a MNC.

I have been holding this annoyance for a while and wish to get it off my chest and gain some opinions. I felt that I was wrongly blamed.

I have recently joined a new company and I’m the youngest. My team consist of about 8 of us and most of them are in their mid 30s.

2 weeks ago I was tasked to choose a place for our team lunch. It is a tradition where the youngest usually is the one choosing the place. I was given less than a day to think.

It is known that there are quite a few factors to consider:

1. There are 3 lacto-vegetarians in my team. As such, the restaurants need to have vegetarian options.

2. We worked at Buona Vista and our lunch need to be quick as we have important work to finish. This also means it needs to be nearby. For dinner, there must be additional of alcohol as we have heavy drinkers in the team.

3. The ambience must be pleasant and nice. No coffee shop, no rundown places.

4. They want a generally expensive place. (It is known as they are quite well-to-do individuals). They won’t settle for coffeeshop. FYI, our first team dinner when I joined the company was for 8 pax at Artemis and we spend close to $2000 for it. The company paid for it.

I tried finding around Holland Village for a restaurant with vegetarian options as it is fairly close-by and there are a few restaurants there. I found this western and Italian place with vegetarian options and suggested it to my director. Him being a vegetarian himself looked through the menu and agree to it saying “There are quite a lot of vegetarian options and ambience is okay.” I gave the menu and restaurant name to the rest of my team and they all looked through it. Pizza, pasta and some tapas are the vegetarian options.

Fast forward: After we had our lunch at the place, I overheard another director (he) and colleague (she) talking bad and laughing about the place, saying “Pizza and bread for lunch?! Hahaha.”

Shortly after I conversed with them and came to know that they don’t see pizza as a proper food item, but rather a side dish. There was no direct confrontation but just some sourness during the conversation.

I was fairly offended after. There was no direct confrontation but it still left me quite confused and angry.

For myself, I didn’t come from a very well-to-do family and I’m okay with pizza for lunch. I wouldn’t even mind going to a coffeeshop and just have noodles and rice.

My family don’t have a high status in society, just an average Singaporean. The most expensive food meal I ever have and paid myself is probably just kbbq that cost around $30+.

This is why I went an extra mile to provide them with the menu to see if they are okay with the food but the result wasn’t what I expected. There were no direct objections at the start and I thought they are totally fine with it. After getting negative gossips behind my back over this makes me feel upset.

What do you think? If it is you, would you be upset?

Never felt this way before

I am a M 28 and my girlfriend is 25. We have been together for 3 years now.

Last week when we were at her place, I met her grandma for the first time. Her grandma is living at her parents’ house temporarily as her uncle’s house is undergoing reno.

When I met the grandma I felt a kind of overwhelming S tension I have never felt before. And before long, to ease the tension, I started pleasuring myself while fantasizing about her grandma. To my surprise I climaxed pretty quickly.

For some time, I thought of this as a fairly harmless exercise until recently when I started having performance problem with my girlfriend.

Everytime we try to get intimate I will be overwhelmed with a sense of guilt (not sure whether from me fantasizing about her grandma or keeping this secret from her) that I could not get hard enough.

I don’t believe I have a granny fetish because I have never felt this way before.

Anyone able to give any insight on how to overcome this? Out of fear of judgement I haven’t been able to discuss this with anyone. Not much literature online about this.

Here are what netizens think:

• One way I find helpful is to undress yourself in front of both your gf and her grandma. When it comes up, it’ll point to the person you desire the most. Really helped me make my decision when I had the same dilemma during lock down two years ago. Try it, hope it helps!

• What did I just read? If this is true, this is the worst place to ask for advice. Visit a counsellor or therapist if you find that its hindering your daily life. Don’t try to be stingy on this. A paid professional can help you better than internet trolls who will likely treat your post as a joke.

• The easy solution here is to leave your girlfriend and date her grandma. Problem solved, unless you want kids. But this world is insane and everything is so expensive, better don’t have kids and just lead a good life for yourself.

I’m an ex-alcoholic and this is the truth about alcohol.

Been sober for 5 years and ongoing. Used to drink alcohol everyday. Be it a small amount or big ones. Even on time that’s not suitable, like 8am. And then one day, it hits me that alcohol is temporary “happiness”.

Like, if alcohol (for drinking) were to be gone right now, over time, we’d have a better society. So many lives lost due to alcohol. From the drunkards getting themselves in trouble to doing harmful things to others like drunk driving.

Sure, people will say “blame the person, not the alcohol. That’s like blaming the kitchen knife for 1 incident involving it”.

Disagree. Bad comparison too.

Give anything as an example, sure, people have been harmed by it. Kitchen knife, cars, social media, chocolate, pencil, etc. Anything can be harmful to people. But none of these influenced anyone from being a sane individual to a harmful individual. And those things, statistically speaking, doesn’t cause harm in general. Remember that exception doesn’t make the rules. Plus, alcoholic drinks have way more cons than pros. The only pros I can think of is that it keeps your body warm in cold environment, but even so, there’s always alternative.

I’m not here to bash alcohol drinkers. I know it’s hard to quit. I’ve been there. But please, slowly, try giving it up. Go exercise and eat healthy things. Trust me, you’ll see the difference in weeks.

I’ve never been happier in my life. I’m not religious, but I started to understand why religion prohibited alcohol as their rulings. It’s just whether you want to listen to it or not.

If you’re on your journey to quit, I wish you all the best. I did it, so can you. I believe in you.

When I was growing up, my parents had a strict parenting style. They expected me to be independent and self-reliant. I was allowed to make my own mistakes and learn from them. I had to take responsibility for my actions and learn from my experiences. This taught me how to be resilient and have strong mental fortitude.

However, nowadays, I see a lot of parents spoiling their children.

I can’t help but wonder how this will affect their future. Will these children grow up to be independent and resilient, or will they be too fragile to handle life’s inevitable challenges?

Some parents just don’t pamper the children. I know of someone, she gave permission for the tuition teacher or anybody to cane/punish his son if he misbehave. Now the child has grown up and is taking care of her mother. Another case is just the opposite, when the son came back from school and complained that his teacher punished him, his mother would go to school and reason with the teacher.

It’s true that some things have changed since I was growing up. Children today have more access to technology, more material possessions, and more opportunities. But I think it’s important that parents don’t give them everything they want.

When children are spoiled, it can lead to a lack of discipline and a lack of respect for authority. This can lead to children who are unable to handle the challenges and pressures of life. They may be too fragile to handle the disappointments and failures they will inevitably face.

Another problem with spoiling children is that it can lead to a sense of entitlement. These children may expect more than they are entitled to and feel entitled to have their demands met without putting in any effort. This can lead to a lack of motivation and a dependence on others to solve their problems.

Additionally, children who are spoiled are more likely to lack problem-solving skills. They may rely on others to solve their problems for them, or they may not know how to deal with life’s challenges. This can lead to them feeling overwhelmed and helpless when faced with difficult situations.

Parents who spoil their children may think they are doing them a favor, but in the long run, this can lead to a lack of resilience and an inability to cope with life’s challenges. It’s important to teach children how to be independent and how to solve their own problems. This will equip them with the skills they need to be successful in life.

It’s also important for parents to provide boundaries and rules for their children. This will help them develop self-control and respect for authority. Setting limits is important, as it teaches children that there are consequences for their actions.

Finally, it’s important to let children make their own mistakes and learn from them. This will give them the opportunity to develop problem-solving skills and resilience. It will also teach them that failure is part of life and that they can overcome it.

In conclusion, spoiling children can lead to weak mental fortitude and a lack of resilience.

Why children nowadays are so so fragile. Nowadays parents are so scared of their children

I am an aircrew or some say cabin crew/flight attendant from a prestigious airline.

We’re one of the top airlines in the world be it in service, flights we offer to passengers or in terms of world airline rankings.

We have a tedious training program and we are often judged for whatever we do

Our training before we become a full fledged crew is long and tedious and we often go through and suffer a lot with the routines and treatments from those who are of a senior rank or even those who are the same rank but joined the airline earlier than us.

During training, we are often forced to fake a smile and be polite to anyone.

No matter if they are right or wrong, capable or incapable or even picking on us for the sake of it, we’ll have to bear it all.

Even if we have to cry, we’ll have to find a way to find somewhere to expose our emotions.

This habit soon became part or my daily life, as somewhere in me was already conditioned to be nice to people no matter how they treated me.

Honestly speaking, it works for me at times but most of the time, I’ll also suffer because of it.

I’m afraid of getting complained, so I do a lot of things by myself even when I’m not capable enough

For context before the story, I’m somewhat of a small framed petite girl.

Every time be it when I’m going to the airport to report for work or coming back, I’ll definitely have to take a taxi or any vehicle besides public transport.

Because of my training and because I wear my cabin crew uniform when I go and board the car, I am reminded that I should be polite and nice to everyone.

This affected me especially when the driver of the vehicle does not come down to help me with my luggage.

I’ll have to carry it and place it myself into the vehicle and I’m afraid to ask for help because I am afraid that they will make noise and complain to my airline.

I mean I’m sure that the airline will not fire me before looking into the case, but I have heard of seniors that were asked to leave because someone complained about them.

Therefore, I do not dare to risk my career or take any chances.

I know some people might say that I also help passengers put their luggage into the overhead compartments, but that is also very rare.

The airline which I work in does not require us to help passengers put luggage up into the compartments and also say that if we get hurt from helping passengers, we cannot claim any injuries.

I have many friends who are unable to work and claim injuries after getting injured, which indirectly affected their livelihood.

However we still so it sometimes, out of compassion and goodwill for those passengers who really needs help.

At the end of the day, it is myself who suffer and I guess I’ll have to resign to fate.

A netizen shared an experience he had with a family from China having a meal at a Japanese restaurant in Singapore.

They were purportedly upset and complaining about the Japanese restaurant playing Japanese songs, and escalated the issue to the manager, demanding to speak to the restaurant owner because of the “poor taste in music”.

The netizen then stood up for the restaurant and told the family that the music had been playing long before they even sat down.

He also questioned them and asked why were they even having Ramen, which is Japanese food, if they were unhappy with Japanese music.

The family then recorded the netizen on their phone as he scolded them, telling them they this is Singapore, and that they should go back to China if they cannot deal with other cultures.

Here is what he said

Just leaving it here first.

There was a PRC family complaining why is a Japanese restaurant playing Japanese songs in the background, they escalated to the manager and wanted to contact the owner because they felt it was a poor taste in music.

I told the family that the music was playing long before they sat down, and if they were unhappy with Japanese songs, why are they even having Ramen, which is Japanese food… They recorded me on their phones when I told them off.

I told them this is Singapore, we should embrace cultures instead of trying to impose on others, and they should go back to China if they cannot deal with other cultures.

Netizens’ comments

1. Kns I go china complain they playing Chinese song sure tio gan one lor, sibei twoface
2. Lol meanwhile sushi express has been playing the same 5 Chinese songs for 3 years.
3. Wanting to complain to the manager because the place is playing songs in a different language is peak karen behaviour
4. It’s the same infuriating attitude i’ve witnessed in Sipadan island. They only spoke chinese and the staffs were obviously indonesians and the PRCs got angry and throwing tantrums because the staffs cannot understand them.
   if they were to be more observant they would have noticed me and my friends who are chinese and approach us nicely to translate for them..but too bad i just watch it unfold and eventually the staffs just ignore them.
   But i went over and scolded them in chinese when they started to throw their unfinished food to the sea creatures (turtles) when no one else is doing it and there are signs (symbols) telling us not to.
   Fking hell cannot stand these a-holes.
5. Lol. I was in US a few years back. There was this PRC family who were behind me talking in mandarin, “ why isn’t everything in Mandarin?” I just looked at them with a WTF look and I couldn’t even walk away or else i would be out of the line

I’m sleeping with my husband’s mistress’s husband and it feels like a small win for me every time

I (f40) met my husband (M45) 10 years ago and I loved him our entire marriage. We have 3 children together. All under 5.

I found out a year ago that my husband is sleeping with his colleague (f30). I can’t describe the pain I felt (feel) but you can see it in my eyes sometimes. I felt ugly undesirable and stupid.

I got obsessed with the colleague and I found out who her husband (m35) was. I actually knew him from mutual friends. I contacted him and told him everything about our spouses. After a week’s texting we both knew without talking about it what we wanted.

Revenge is just the best kind there is or maybe this man is just a god. We decided we liked each other and wanted to continue. We meet at least once a week and I wish I could see him more but we both know it is unwise.

We decided that since we had each other, it doesn’t matter what our spouses did. They’re forgiven. I don’t want my children to grow up in two homes and he knows a divorce would be too costly for him.

I watched tv with my husband beside me while smiling inside that I knew what kind of a dirty liar he is and I am for that matter and I love it

Please spare me the “you are as bad tho” because actually I’m not.

Update: Look guys thank you for caring, asking me to update when all of this “blows up in my face” how considerate of you. I guess if it all blows up in my face and my husband leaves me, my bf and I can finally pursue a relationship together, no worries there

Fiancé (29M) is not interested in being intimate with me (24F) after I give birth to our child

He says that he just can’t see me the same. Apparently now that I became a mother his view of me completely changed.

Is this some psychology thing or what? Anyways, in all honesty, it’s been taking a serious toll on my mental health and I can’t even talk about it or share it with my friends or family (mother, sisters, cousins) because it’s genuinely humiliating.

I also know it’s something they didn’t experience, and they’d probably tell me to “just leave him” which isn’t what I want, I love him.

our wedding is scheduled to happen this year and settled for and our child is six months old—yeah we went through six months without intercourse, as if having a child for the first time isn’t exhausting as it is.

I also had to carry the weight of my relationship being in crisis and feeling absolutely terrible and undesirable, our life in the bedroom prior to me giving birth was the healthiest, it took a 180 degree turn in change afterwards, even during my pregnancy it wasn’t bad.

I know this isn’t something usual, men don’t just lose interest in their partners after they give birth, obviously it’s some psychological thing for my fiancé here.

And I know what you might be thinking, that perhaps it’s on me and I haven’t took care of myself after pregnancy and neglected my appearance, but that’s not the case at all.

I got back to the weight I was at before giving birth very fast, I take care of myself and my how I look daily; hair done, nails done, dress nice.

To add; everything else between us is the same, we have smooth conversations, he gives me compliments, kisses me, treats me well, just refuses to being intimate with me.

It’s like he’s holding me on a pedestal and can’t acknowledge that I have needs anymore just because I became a mother.

I’m looking for a way to solve the problem, it’s causing a dilemma in our relationship and I can’t imagine spending a life time being repressed in bed.

Counseling is a must, we’ve already talked about it and are going to go through it, I just can’t help but believe I need to do something else prior to that. And I’m honestly thinking that an open relationship where we’d both see other people for a while might drastically help us, it would for sure shatter the false illusion he has of me in his head.

Any advice would be appreciated, and I’d also really like to know if there’s anyone out here who experienced something similar?