Grandmother had a near miss incident with children playing soccer below my block.

A few days ago, my grandmother had a near miss incident with children playing soccer at the sheltered area below my block (the area where weddings or funerals/wakes are held) while she was out on a walk. She wasn’t directly hit by the soccer ball, but she did end up having quite a bad fall when attempting to avoid an incoming ball.

When I went down to help my grandmother back up to the house, I also scolded the children, talked to their mother who was nearby, and told them not to play soccer anymore at that area to avoid incidents like this from happening again. I’m pretty sure playing soccer at the sheltered area isn’t allowed anyway.

In any case, the incident with my grandmother and my harsh words apparently wasn’t enough to dissuade them from playing soccer at that area, which they have been continuing to do so.

I’ve already e-mailed the town council about this and haven’t gotten a reply yet. What else can I do to evict these children from the area? Would really prefer not to get the police involved as much as possible. Any advice?

Netizens’ comments

1. Tbh, I don’t think much can be done. Void decks are shared public spaces and while town councils can put up more signs to discourage people from playing, it is going to be hard to enforce.
   Again, there arent any restrictions in terms of what’s allowed/prohibited these days (correct me if I’m wrong but previously, I think it was strictly no skateboarding??) so I don’t think those kids are in the wrong except maybe parents should tell the kids.
   Perhaps have your grandma take walks at earlier/later timings? Or have her avoid the void deck while they are playing.
   Ultimately it comes down to people being considerate which is out of your control, so just focus on things within your control.
2. (OP) We’ve obviously already advised my grandmother to avoid the area for the time being. I’m just trying to look out for other people as much as possible. Like I’ve already mentioned in my original post, I have talked to the children’s mother regarding this, but since the soccer sessions are continuing, I’m assuming it has fallen on deaf ears.
   There ARE several signs pasted around the area saying no football allowed so I AM hoping that the town council will be able to do something about it.

I’ve been “working” at a job for 7 months with no boss and no work to do.

This is happening to me right now. I was hired in October for one of the biggest property companies and the person that hired me, her position was eliminated the week before I started.

I was brought around the office by someone from a different department. I’ve been sitting in an office behind the fired lady’s office all alone for months. Doing literally nothing.

I’ve asked around, I’ve emailed people. NOTHING. I show up 3 days a week, “work” from home 2 days a week; and get paid every Friday.

I haven’t said a word to anyone in months. I’m riding the wave till it crests. I don’t know how it’s possible that no one gives me any assignments or even really emails me and yet here I am.

I’ve been sending emails with excel reports twice a week of the employees from our department we pay. Takes me about ten minutes. That’s really all I do.

EDIT: to answer frequent questions

• I make just under six figures
• I go in because the job was setup as 3 days in office, two days remote. There’s a badge swipe system and I don’t want to be fired for lack of attendance if they check the swipes. Job is only about 10 minutes from my house.
• I contact my dept head twice a week with spreadsheets on our department payroll. That’s all I do and it takes about 15 minutes a week. I BCC the office coordinator on these emails.
• I’m being intentionally vague about what my job is and no I will not tell you and no, I will not hire you.

Netizens’ comments

• I had a job like this once when I was a student, 6 months of receiving a minuscule but free salary. Those were the days.
• I am in a similar situation. I spend most of my day looking for things to do (I started in Aug 22 and the job is 90% remote; We go the office 2x per month)
  Sure, I communicate with my coworkers via email/teams but I have yet to receive any outside communication from any customers or clients. The only person that ever calls my extension is my boss.
  It’s an extremely slow industry. They have been promising me new accounts for months but somehow, I just get forgotten about until I have my monthly review/1-on-1 with my boss (which I just had; He thanked me for all of my hard work (???) and assured me that I would be assigned to some new accounts very soon. Yeah. Let’s check in next month. Meanwhile, I’m just online all day, watching the world burn.
• Just one question. Are they hiring? I can have my resume to you pretty quickly…
• I had a somewhat similar experience.
  I applied for an entry level job in an investment firm start up. They hired me (didn’t sign anything) gave me a new laptop and told me to expect a call for training/integration to their system. It’s been 4 years now, so I wiped the laptop and still sometimes use it.

Am I buying too much Insurance

Hi all, I am looking for guidance regarding my insurance. I’m 26F, take home salary is 2240 and I’ve just ballot for feb bto 2023. Trying to save money to pay for the first payment in few months time.

Insurance that I bought:

1. Singlife Whole Life bought in July 2022 $235.50 per month- 25 years term- It covered Death, Total and Permanent Disability, Critical Illness
2. Singlife Steadypay Saver bought in July 2022 $115.25 per month- 25 years term- Endowment Plan (Saving plan waiting for maturity)
3. Singlife Elite Term bought in July 2022 $45.90 per month- 40 years term- It covered advanced Total and Permanent Disability, Critical Illness
4. Hospital Plan Singlife- Paid by my dad medisave however I have decide to pay by my own, will be meeting agent next week to discuss about the plan
5. I purchased investment from the company with their own portfolio for e.g unit trust, ETF. DCAing 300 per month started July 2022, and I’m able to take out the money anytime I want.

I been paying about 700 out of my 2240 per month, is there anyway that I could save from those Insurance as I thinking if I am paying to much for those and I need to save up for my BTO.Does not have any debt, give parents 200 per month, living expenses about 500-1000 (occasionally spurge on stuffs). Bank currently have 2000 (yeap I know its pathetic..)

Netizens’ comments

• I saw $2240 and then saw there’s more than one bullet point.

Yes too much lol.

• I’m younger but I agree it’s too much for now. Just a pov I would like to offer u could consider, is there a reason why u need elite term when u already have whole life plan? Seems like it’s an overlapping insurance except that it covers advanced TPD.

And correct me if I’m wrong since I’m still not that well versed in insurance, when u say term do u mean the premium payment term? If so, for Whole life u pay $70,650 in total for whole premium & for elite term u pay $22,032 in total for the 45 year premium payment term. Seems like an additional cost of $22,032 for an overlapping insurance unless that advanced TPD is very valuable to u

• Whole Life VS Term Life is a personal preference. If cost is a concern, go for Term Life. It’s a lot cheaper and does the important function of a life insurance i.e. paying out to dependents if you die or TPD.

Endowments always suck. Consider cutting loss and terminating if you want to spend 1 day learning alternatives of investment. That 1 day spent will potentially earn you more than what endowment will get you.

Looks like overlapping with number 1. Only go for coverage that is applicable to what you or your dependents need. FAs like to sell insurance based on your income. But to listen to that bullcrap. Buy insurance based on your expenditure. Insurance is meant to help in times of need and if your spending is thrifty, you don’t need too much insurance coverage.

This is the only and truly essential insurance. Getting the tier that allows claims for private hospitals is usually cheap to maintain when you are young. Can consider that. Premium grows over time with cash component but you can always downgrade it.

Investing with insurance companies is always losing money to all the fees you can think of. Same as number 2, spend 1 day learning and you will likely benefit more.

PM me if you need advice. not a FA, but i research a lot when i buy things.

I lost my virginity to my ex bf, I don’t know what to tell my new bf.

Last year, I did the dirty with my now ex boyfriend. It was entirely consensual, and at the time great, but now the memory has soured.

My new boyfriend has been my best friend for about 6 years. We had a conversation about virginity, and he said he’d rather lose his virginity with a virgin rather than a non virgin. (He doesn’t know I lost my virginity.)

He even said he wouldn’t even sleep with me if I wasn’t a virgin, even if that meant never.

I feel extremely guilty I never told him and don’t know what to do. I really really love him, and I don’t want to lose him over this, but I’m at a loss. I don’t know what to do. I can’t take back what has been done, I’m just filled with this anxious energy.

Netizens’ comments

1. Hon if he only wants you for your virginity then he’s not the right one, whoever you’re with should be there for YOU not for your past. Better to tell him and rip the band aid, that way at least you wont live in uncertainty
2. Hey! You did nothing wrong! Just tell him the truth and if he wants to walk away, let him! It’s always better to be in a relationship where you both see things eye to eye
3. Just tell him, you have nothing to be embarrassed or guilty about its him with this strange hang up about wanting to be with a virgin. If you really care for each other you can work through it, you just need to be completely open and honest
4. He has a right to a preference, but saying stuff like he won’t sleep with you ever if you weren’t a virgin is insane. I wouldn’t lie to him; relationships are built on trust. If you tell him the truth and he walks aways that’s good for both of you. If he shames you for it, kick him to the curb. Best of luck

My boyfriend (25M) bought himself a gift on my (22F) birthday but made me pay for half our date. Am I being too sensitive or not appreciative enough?

(I’m sorry this is so long but there’s a lot of important context.)

So I’ve been with this guy for almost 3 years now. So before my actual birthday he “took me out” to dinner to a pretty expensive place, and I ended up paying for half. That was his birthday gift to me, which he thought was a great gift because he rarely wants to go on dates with me, and when we do go I pay for everything. So his gift to me was for him to spend time with me and pay for his own stuff this time, but I still ended up paying much more than normal because he chose an expensive place. But I’ll admit I had a great time, and we had a great night and I’m so happy we got to spend time together.

Some background: he doesn’t get paid enough and has been trying to pay off bills and stuff for years. Just really struggling financially, barely able to afford gas sometimes, so I have to help him out A LOT (keep in mind I’m a student so I’m struggling too). But he’s also not very good with saving money because he grew up living kinda lavishly and spends money on things he doesn’t need instead of saving. So I try giving him budgeting tips (like not buying $100 worth of groceries and letting it go to waste in the fridge while he orders delivery to “treat himself” every week), which he refuses to accept because “I’m an adult I know how to take care of myself”. So I’ve been just keeping my mouth shut.

But he told me weeks ago he couldn’t afford to do anything for my birthday because he just wouldn’t have enough to pay bills. To which I said “of course baby that’s fine I completely understand as long as we can spend some time together”. (Which we did, but he still chose to go out to an expensive restaurant??)

Then on my actual birthday my family decided to go out to dinner to celebrate. He came to the dinner and we were all headed back to my family’s house but he wanted to stop at the store on the way back to pick up a game for himself. I already knew he couldn’t afford to give me a birthday gift because he needs to save money, but somehow he was able to buy a game for himself IN FRONT OF ME ON MY BIRTHDAY, but couldn’t get me a $5 candle or even write me a card??

My family was waiting for us at the house too and they were asking what was taking so long, and I was embarrassed to tell them he wanted to get himself a game but didn’t get me anything, so I bought a $10 gift card and made him sign it so I would have something to show my family if they asked.

I tried questioning him like “hey babe remember you have bills to pay and you need to save money? Are you sure getting this game is the best idea?” and he took offense that I was trying to “mother him” again and was like “You’re so ungrateful for everything I do for you. I guess I’m not allowed to treat myself. Sorry you think I’m a horrible boyfriend”. And we were going back to my family and I didn’t want to start an argument on my birthday so I just let it go and haven’t mentioned it since.

Idk if I’m just not being understanding enough of his situation and not being appreciative that he did anything at all, because I know he’s super stressed and I don’t want to put any extra pressure on him or be too needy, but I still just feel kinda down about the whole situation and I’m not sure if it’s worth bringing up again.

My husband’s hygiene is so bad it’s hard to be near him

My (26F) husband (27M) has horrible hygiene. He has acne and horrible breath as a result. His breath smells like actual cat poop, and it is so bad that when he speaks to me within 5 feet I can smell it.

I have tried to help him with skincare, I’ve tried to help him develop routines, I’ve been incredibly understanding.

However, it is a fight to get him to even shower and brush his teeth. I don’t know how he does this, because if I smelled like that I wouldn’t be able to handle it.

I will remind him, and he will say he’s going to do it, and then won’t.

Today, I tried reminding him again and he screamed, wrapped a robe around his head, and collapsed on the bed screaming.

This can’t be normal. I don’t know how to get him to brush his teeth. This is constant, and it never stops. A lot of the time, he’s normal.

But he throws a temper tantrum if I ask him to brush his teeth. I am literally sick of it. He will (for lack of a better word) screech if I try to hold him accountable for things in general.

He has complete crying meltdowns. I have tried so hard to be nice and understanding but it’s been incredibly hard for me.

At this point, I think his hygiene is inconsiderate to the people who have to be around him at work. I have never met a man like this, and I think I’m going to leave him.

Netizens’ comments

• My husband had horrendous body odor. He literally had to keep his shoes and socks outside the stench was so unbearable (like make your eyes water bad). He did shower on a regular basis.

It was a symptom of renal cancer. Once he started chemo, no more eye watering stink.

I did have a roommate that had a enormous fear of water. Almost drowned as a kid. Wouldn’t even drink water…No bathing, no showering, no swimming, no going out when raining. They would use a damp sponge to wash. They are/were a marathon runner and glass blower. Both activities generate a lot of sweat. More than a sponge bath was needed.

• Has he always been this way? I know I’ve been through phases where my mental health was so bad that any sort of hygiene was insanely hard for me. Brushing my teeth, showering, the works. But my boyfriend helped me with it.

Even if he physically had to bring me into the bathroom and bathe me or get my toothbrush ready and sit there with me while I cried and did it, but not once did I have a tantrum about it because I just didn’t want to. All of that said, I don’t think it’s a mental health thing considering his actions, but it could be.

I would keep that as a possibility, but if this doesn’t change, you are not his mother. You shouldn’t have to force a grown man to shower and brush his teeth. It’s honestly probably just laziness at this point and when you call him out it makes him realize how lazy he is, which is probably embarrassing, which causes him to lash out instead of fixing it. Good luck

I sometimes have the unpleasant task of telling people that they can’t do things they want to do when at work, since i’m responsible for everyone being compliant to stuff.

I always am polite, professional but firm. I sometimes use humour too, if i think it’d work.

it bugs me that sometimes people don’t listen, but when i pull in my ang mo colleague, they listen.

why is this still happening in this day and age? I feel bad my ang mo colleague has to attend extra calls / reply to additional emails on top of his work just to get ppl to listen. but he’s super chill about it and happy to help.

what does he have that I don’t? We’re both equally skilled at our jobs.

Netizens’ comments

• If my superior told me to comply with humor, I’d probably take it as something she said in passing rather than someone she’d want me to comply with.
  • (OP) humour is a good way for ppl not to feel like they’re being talked down to. At the end of the day, everyone, regardless their level of seniority, deserve respect.
• You’re not wrong that everyone regardless of their level of seniority deserves respect. However, there are times to be humorous and times to be serious.
  If you want to get a message across, using humour probably wouldn’t be the best idea. Imagine if rules and law were informed to others through humour. Probably wouldn’t work well.
• While race might be an issue, there are many other possibilities that we should consider before defaulting to race as the reason why people are more willing to listen to your colleague than to you.
  Have you observed the way in which he communicates the message to the other staff, perhaps you can try mirroring it? Does he make an effort to communicate with the other staff on matters other than work i.e., small talk(building a personal connection with people can really help to get the message across, and to stop associating your name with bad news)?
  Communication is a skill, especially when it comes to communicating news that people likely do not want to hear.
  It’s a worrying trend because after some time word will get around that you are a pushover and you will never be able to get them to listen. I know this sounds nasty but you have to “scapegoat” a few recalcitrant people and really throw down the hammer to show everyone you mean business.

As a Singaporean man, I was never really a fan of Singaporean girls. I felt like they always treated me like a slave and I had no control in our relationship.

I was always under their orders and I was the one who had to do all the work, plus they are harder to please. I was never appreciated for my efforts and I felt like I was taken for granted.

Thai girls treat their men like kings, unlike Singaporean girls

So, when I had the opportunity to move to date a Thai girl, I jumped at the chance. I had heard from other people that Thai girls treat their husbands like kings, so I was eager to find out if this was true.

I have now been married to a Thai girl for several months and I can confidently say that the rumours are true. She is always respectful of me, she listens to what I say, and she appreciates the small things I do for her.

She always makes sure that I am taken care of and she always puts my needs before hers.

Unlike Singaporean girls, they treat their husbands like treasure. They are always willing to help out and are always willing to put in the extra effort to make sure that both of us are happy.

They understand that a relationship is a partnership and they are always willing to compromise if it means a better outcome for both of us.

Another thing I love about Thai girls is that they are very open-minded. They are more willing to try new things, which means that our relationship is always fresh and exciting.

We are able to have conversations about anything and everything, and I am never bored with her.

Finally, Thai girls are very independent. They are not afraid to make their own decisions, and they are not afraid to speak their minds, unlike the Singaporean girls I have dated who always beat about the bush then end up crying father and mother.

In conclusion, I can confidently say that Thai girls treat their husbands like kings, unlike Singaporean girls who treat their husbands like slaves.

I highly recommend finding a Thai wife if you want to feel like a King.