My M28 gf F30 is older than me, and this fact i am not able to digest.

I have been in relationship with my gf for the past 4 years, we have been living together. She loves me like hell, care for me, don’t lie etc. Basically she is everything what I wanted my partner to be like. I love her too.

Earlier i knew that she is 8 months older than me, and I was ok with it.

But a few weeks back I found out that she is 1 year and 8 months older than me. Which she told me herself, out of the blue for no reason at all.

I didn’t asked anything like this but don’t know why she wanted to tell me this.

I love her too like hell, take care of every small issue of hers. But Now I am not able to digest this fact. The thought of being with a girl older than me is making me uncomfortable.

I discussed this with her and she got angry, I bought up this topic again a few day later and she got more angrier and threatened to leave the flat.

I had to go out for a few days for an interview, I thought maybe I will take a break for few days and stay away from her maybe it will clear my mind. she got more paranoid called me and told to come right away or she is leaving.

I said I need a break for few days to clear my mind and she lost it. She moved out in anger. This thing made me more emotionally unstable, m having anxiety. The thought of loosing her is making me anxious and the thought of the age difference is making me anxious too. I m overthinking this a lot.

Now And after a few days, she started calling me crying and saying that she misses me, and loves me and she wants to move back.

But now I m at a crossroad in my mind, it’s like a bone stuck in ur throat which u not able to spit it out or swallow it.

The thought of loosing her is making me anxious and the thought of her coming back and have to live with this age difference fact m not able to digest..

Meditation is also not working

Plss plss plss tell me what to do ?

Etiquette walking on the pavement?

I hope I’m not going crazy – has anyone noticed more people (in particular boomers) charging directly towards you?

They might be refusing to walk on the side of the pavement with drain covers, or coming at you ferociously at an angle in the mrt station risking a collision.

I only noticed this as I recently sprained my toe. While I can mostly walk, it’s affecting my agility / ability to sharply change direction.

I had to come to a complete stop today while walking uphill and had some auntie curse at me (for presumably not giving way to her).

Netizens’ comments

1. If u don’t give way, u r being rude, and I also don’t need to be nice to rude people, so I also don’t give way. If u give way, then I no need to give way already. So in conclusion, there’s no need to give way.
2. Boomers being entitled as per usual. Pay them no heed. Usually I’d just stick to the left side of the path same as how our roads are. I’ll only walk on the right if majority of the foot traffic is on the right
   Personally for me if I’m walking in a straight line and someone is starting to walk into me I’d just stare and continue on. I’m a big guy though so that probably affects things.
3. It’s a game, first one to give way loses (jk).
   Seriously though if anyone charge towards me, it’s their own risk. They will bounce off my fats and fall down. Happened to small kid before Liao. Heck my own sister ran towards me and her toe got fractured.

I had a unique problem. I had five girlfriends at once and none of them knew about each other’s existence. Each one of them thought that I was in love with only them.

It all started when I first came out into the society. I was popular and had lots of friends, so it was easy to meet new people.

Got together with a girl, felt that one was not enough

One day, I met a girl at a party. We hit it off instantly and started spending more and more time together. We eventually became a couple and started dating.

I felt like everything was going great, but I soon felt like I was missing something. I wanted to explore more and meet more people.

So, I started going out and meeting new people, mostly girls. I was good-looking and charming, so it wasn’t hard to find girls who were interested in me.

Before I knew it, I had five different girlfriends. It was a lot to handle and I was constantly juggling to keep them all happy. I had to find ways to keep them all busy and distracted while I was with the others.

Of course, I also had to be careful not to let any of them find out about the others. I had to be careful to not post anything on social media that would give me away.

I also had to make sure that I had different stories for each of them and that I didn’t get the details mixed up.

I had to be creative and find ways to keep them all interested in me without letting on that I was seeing other people.

I was able to keep this up for a few months and it was actually a bit exciting. I felt like I had the world at my fingertips. I was living a double life and it was fun.

All the good things came to an end

But of course, all good things must come to an end. Eventually, things started to unravel. One of my girlfriends started to become suspicious and started asking questions.

I knew that I had to tell the truth, but I was scared of how she would react. I was scared of hurting her and I was scared of what the others would think.

Eventually, I had to tell all of them the truth. It was one of the hardest things I ever had to do.

Is NS sustainable in the near-future?

Let me preface this by saying this is purely anecdotal and it doesn’t account for stats or industry wide knowledge that professionals might have.

Realised a lot of differences from the past

I’m currently serving around my 5th/6th cycle of reservist, and after not having been called back for 2 years due to deferment, I realised a stark change in how things run in my unit.

Manpower seems tighter than ever – the new NSF intake into the unit is a 1/4 of what it was during my time, and all the young regulars seem to be resigning due to mismanagement and inability to cope with the manpower shortage – nearly all the young regulars I patrolled with during my time as an NSF aren’t there anymore.

And this is still the generation with an ‘okay’ birthrate, in 10 years time, will there still be manpower, both in NSF and regulars in order to keep things running?

Here are what netizens think

• I do agree raising kids now is not cheap. But I also want to highlight that there was a time when Singaporeans were poorer and yet we have more kids.
  
  So clearly kids being expensive can only stretch so far as an argument. So what changed?
  
  I don’t know. But I suspect it’s a combination of culture, lifestyle, cost of living and personal aspirations.
  
• NS for the ladies
  
• I mean they could do something very drastic like conscription for females maybe like a lottery system like Thailand based on some degree of luck to make up the shortfall and have them do medical/admin roles

I don’t know what to do about my job

I’m a fresh lifescience graduate that stepped into a research job as a research assistant/officer (3 months in) and liked the process of learning (albeit making mistakes on the way).

2 months into the job, my professor called me into her room and explained that I am not performing well because I’m doing things very slow and made too many mistakes (which I expected given that I’m learning).

With that, she requested that I resign before the probation period ends and that research is not suited for me (but I’ve already spent 3 months in this job and was loving the process of research).

At that moment in time, it didn’t affect me but as I left the office, a wave of self-doubt hit me and has since affected how I see myself and my work.

Over time, I began feeling like my mentor and co-workers are talking bad about me behind my back and I can feel the tension in the air.

I’m getting anxiety attacks every Sunday dreading the work week ahead.

Am I normal for feeling so or am I just getting caught in my own thoughts and should I resign before getting another job offer (because honestly, this job has been draining me mentally ever since then).

Netizens’ comments

1. Research in SG is a very small world, everyone knows someone else from another lab. So do not burn bridges. As someone in research, I am curious who this PI is. Feel free to PM me to see whether I’ve heard of her before.
   There are good PIs and bad ones too. I’ve had my share of both.
   Asking you to quit due to pipetting of all things seems a bit strange. Pipetting can be practiced with water and tubes. But given that you handle patient samples which are extremely precious, there has to be something else that is an issue…
2. hold up.
   so you’re telling me that out of the blue, after two months, she told you that your performance was unsatisfactory?
   that right there suggests “trashy manager”, because a good manager will have regular performance checkins with you and highlight the things they think you could improve on.
3. I would say, research experience is heavily influenced by the PI. Some are just indifferent or slave drivers. It sounds like this PI is not a mentoring one. If you really love research, try again in a different lab and see if things are better. Do try to ask former members of the lab of their experience first as a gauge

Editor’s note: PI = Principal Investigator (a person that is responsible for preparing and conducting research)

Should I 21m leave my gf 19f for trying to get pregnant behind my back?

So for context, our relationship is pretty new, but I’ve known her for about a year. I know her ups and downs and some of the not so bright sides of her but we’ve been dating for about 4 months and we’ve been intimate for about three.

I’m a very cautious person and I always wear a condom so whenever I do something with her, I always use condoms. She provides them, and I always make sure there are no holes in it as I put them on myself and usually I would dispose of them myself as well.

The most recent time I slept with my gf, she told me that she wanted to flush the condom, saying that the last time it clogged the toilet because I didn’t wrap it in tissue. So I let her, and she asked for privacy saying she needed to use the restroom so I left.

Later that night, I looked through her phone and I saw her texting her best friend telling her that she’d turned the condom inside out and put it inside of her, in hopes of getting pregnant. I am super upset, and she knows I don’t want any kids. I don’t know what to do. Advice??

Netizens’ comments

• Well first off, never flush condoms down the toilet whether they’re wrapped up or not! Put them in the garbage.
  But also, I would definitely never in a million years stay with someone who tried to baby trap me. Not a chance in hell.
  • (OP) It happened 2 days ago and I haven’t said anything to her about it yet, I’ve been distant with her and don’t know how to approach the situation but I’m also super worried she could be pregnant. Is it possible she could be pregnant from turning the condom inside out? I am super paranoid right now
    • It is possible she could get pregnant from that, yes. I hope you never sleep with this woman ever again.
• Before you break up –
  Get a picture of the text she sent, because if she actually does get pregnant you’ll be able to protect yourself
  I’d photograph it from your phone as well as screenshotting it and texting it to you from her phone (and then deleting the sent message of course)

I’ll try to keep this as short as possible. 8 months ago I (22f) met my boyfriend (32m) and we hit it off instantly.

The age gap was definitely intimidating at first since the oldest I dated was 26, however, since we had a lot in common I was able to look past it.

After a little over a month he asked me to be his girlfriend and while I said no at first, I (hesitantly) agreed later.

Honestly, looking back at it now he is very persistent and does not ever take no for an answer. Fast forward to today, we’ve been together for nearly 7 months.

However, since then we’ve had way more downs than ups in our relationship. This is my first proper relationship and I’m also a virgin (which he knows) because I want to save it for someone special.

I’ve had flings in the past who were super persistent but I’ve always kept true to myself. I want to do it with someone who I genuinely love and see a future with (not him).

My friends have a theory that he won’t allow me to break up with him because he still hasn’t slept with me. I don’t know how true this is.

Unfortunately, I realised quickly in the last few months he’s not someone I see a future with. I’ve tried to break up with him 3 times over the space of 2 months and every time I say it he immediately shuts me down, calls me annoying and argues I say things on purpose to get on his nerves.

I’m sick and tired of this relationship and we argue all the time. I don’t even know why he thinks it’s healthy when we argue 95% of the time.

Every time I bring this up as a reason to break up he says that we don’t have issues and that everything is perfect between us. I don’t know if he’s in denial or if he’s just trying to make me stay with him.

I’m so miserable because I don’t know what to do anymore. I’ve stopped going out and don’t respond to any of my friends.

I mentioned that I need space recently and he got annoyed and said I do this way too often. I don’t want to be with him anymore.

The way he dismisses everything I say makes me feel silenced.

When I tried to break up with him on the phone he literally said that I can’t do that and that I have no choice in the matter.

My friends keep telling me to break things off and are complaining that I’m still with him, saying that I’m leading him on and I have no backbone.

I’m genuinely terrified of him because he doesn’t seem to want to let me go and I’ve had nightmares that I was forced to stay with him until I’m old (I can’t even escape him in my fucking dreams).

He tried to find my address recently since he doesn’t have it (my parents would have a heart attack if they knew I’m seeing someone who’s 32) but I’m keeping that away from him since he said if I ever ignore his message he would come to my house personally.

I don’t know what to do. I feel like I’m losing myself each day I’m in this relationship. I honestly wish I never met him. I feel like my life is out of my control.

What are your views on bringing souvenirs for your family on a holiday trip?

My family has a unspoken rule of buying souvenirs for extended family/ everyone and i feel that it is really burdensome.

On one hand, it is a waste of resources when I receive souvenirs like pens/ shirt/ keychain, and just adds to pollution and clutter since i dont really need any pens/ keychain/ cringy shirt.

However, when i am receiving the gifts, i am pressured by my mom to “like it” and send it to the extended family group to thank them which i feel so fake.

Also do not want to seem ungrateful and reject it as it will hurt my family’s feelings.

Lastly, i do feel like it is a waste of money for them to buy for me as i do not need anything and they are from low income family.

Similarly, i feel like when i am going overseas, i have to stress about buying things for everyone and really would prefer giving meaningful souvenirs instead of the standard keychains/ pen etc that they probably wont use.

Also, they might not want the gifts as well. A lot of the times, I’ve not seen the gifts i bought overseas been used or i never see it ever again.

Is buying souvenirs overrated?

Netizens’ comments

1. What about simple food or snacks? I think that’s easier compared to like pens or other stuff which most people don’t really need.
   I did bought a bag and watch for my parents once and I never saw them used it ever. Since then I just buy food or snacks for souvenirs as they can just consume it and not leave it around at home like pens.
2. It’s my holiday, my time, my money. I’ll buy a gift if I want to, not because I’m expected or obligated to.
   My family does the same thing, but they don’t really know what to get me because I like really weird shit. I straight up told them not to waste money on shirts and tokens because I’m not gonna wear or use them at all. Instead, I said I like exploring the food of a country, and since then all they ever get for me is instant noodles unique to whatever country they went to.
   I do the same for them too, I tell my family in advance where I’m planning to go, and if they’d like anything from that region. It’s a gift, not a surprise, there’s no harm in telling them what you want/don’t want and vice versa.

When I first found out my girlfriend was pregnant with our baby, I was scared and uncertain of what the future would bring.

We had been together for just over a year, and while I was excited to become a father, I was also scared of the financial costs associated with pregnancy and raising a newborn.

Career was just starting out, I did not have much money

At the time, I was just starting out in my career and money was tight. I had been living paycheck to paycheck, and I knew that bringing a baby into the world would mean more expenses and less money.

But I also knew that I had to step up and do the right thing for our baby.

I was determined to make it work, so I started looking for ways to save money. I took up another job on the side and I also tried to cut back on expenses by cooking at home and reducing my entertainment budget.

I also had to get creative with how I made money and I was glad that I was able to make ends meet and provide for my growing family, but it was always a struggle.

Happy that my daughter grew up well, even though it means I have to struggle

I remember the moment my daughter was born. It was the happiest and most terrifying experience of my life. I was so proud to be a father, but I was also filled with anxiety knowing that I had to provide for her and make sure she had everything she needed.

I was determined not to let my daughter down, and I’m proud to say that she has grown up to be a healthy and happy child. She is now in preschool and doing well, and I’m so proud of her.

My experience as a young father made me appreciate the importance of financial responsibility and planning for the future. I now understand the value of budgeting and saving, and I make sure to do both.

I’m still struggling to make ends meet, but I’m proud to say that I am now better equipped to handle the financial challenges associated with raising a family.

My experience as a young father also taught me the importance of being there for my daughter. I remain actively involved in her life and I make sure to tell her every day how much I love and appreciate her.

I’m so thankful that I was able to make it through those tough times and provide for her and my wife.

late 20s now and I feel like a loser amongst my peers. How do you guys cope?

Honestly im struggling pretty hard right now, i feel like i’ve got not much people i can talk to because i feel so alone in this.

I’m 28, don’t have a high paying job, never been in a relationship, and it feels like i’ve missed out on a large part of life and i’ve basically wasted my 20s away.

Seeing my friends happily married, having good jobs and enjoying their 20s to their fullest made me question myself a lot. Just what the hell have i been doing with my life all these years? I’ll never be able to afford a home, get into a relationship, and afford any sort of comfort in life.

My hobbies are time wasters, my health is in the sh!tters, my mental state isn’t getting any better.

Feels like i’ve already messed up sometime along the past 10 years or so and i’ve started going down this path of no return.

Yes i hear people always say its never to late to change, but the fact still remains that my 20s are over and i’ve got nothing to show for it.

People also tell me that comparison is the thief of joy and i shouldn’t be on social media at all. But these people are themselves on social media and those that aren’t are loners who will inevitably lose contact with all their friends.

If there’s anyone like me out there, i just wanna know how do you guys cope?

Netizens’ comments

your life can be changed with consistent effort. Sharing my own life story on my 5 years journey.

23 years old

i was working in a dead end it service job , obese. Hobbies are just watching anime and playing games with almost no social life

Self studied programming took up a cs degree . 25 got my first job in tech at a startup as a software engineer

26 years old

burned out quit after 1 year took a one month break

Work on my physical health by going to the gym at 27 dropped weight from 100 to 85kg

27-28 years old

Changed to a larger mnc company

Forced myself to go on meetup to meet people etc

Moved out of my parents to rent a room

28 last year

Came back to rollerblading after 10 years

Met someone i was interested in but messed up badly due to low self-esteem got myself heartbroken and almost wanted to quit skating

Picked up skating again but focused more on another discipline

Got promoted in my job to a senior role after 1 year in the company

Picked up yoga and dance from 0 friends after the breakup i slowly build up my friendships that lasted till today

Went for my first solo trip overseas to Thailand for 2 weeks

Shaved my head to no 1 after accepting the battle with generic hairloss

29 (this year)

Have goals of joining skating competition this year in march

evicted from my rent due to landlord wanting back the space

Moved in to my friend place 2 weeks ago

got myself burn out from skating to the point of reaching near death

Started back on gymming as well as trying other things like bouldering , aerial yoga

Starting to see a therapist for my mental health

You can see from my own life that i have up and downs but perseverance consistent effort will bring you far.

Work on yourself start small and keep going