My husband’s colleague is trying to get him to hook up

I recently discovered my husband’s colleague is trying to hook up with him.

I got to know of this because my husband came clean with me. He told me one of his colleagues has been texting him inappropriate things and sending him suggestive pictures recently (think sexy lingerie, cleavage shots, suggestive poses etc).

For context, this colleague just got married and my husband has known her for ~4 years. She has never came onto him like this before this incident and their relationship was purely work related. (Or so my husband claims)

My husband showed me the texts between him and the colleague and I did see him rejecting her saying its not appropriate for her to say such things to him given that they both have their married partners etc. She said in her texts that she wanted to see if she stood a chance because she really likes him.

I just wanted to know, do you all think my husband is being honest? That their relationship is purely work related and there’s nothing going on between them? And why is his colleague being such a slut? Trying to seduce someone else’s husband when she has her own? Can someone really stoop that low?

Here are what netizens think:

• Do not doubt your husband and throw a fuss at this point. He came clean willingly. If you give him a negative experience, next time he will never tell you anything. The fact that he came clean also means he is siding with you. Just remember the mantra, keep your man’s stomach full and balls empty and you’ll have a fine family.

• Text her back this way: Let’s keep things professional. If you continue to harass me, I’ll have no choice but to report you to (boss’s name). Then block her. No need to entertain people like that. If your husband refuses to block, there’s something amiss there. Between colleagues, there’s no need to text, email do just fine.

• Let your husband be free. As they say, if you love him, set him free. If he loves you, he will come back.

I’m 24 working in a company for 1.5y and will most likely got promoted soon.

If I get promoted, it will be a different job role compared to the role I applied initially (which I’m not sure if I will like it) Not to mention, there will be higher expectations.

Most of my colleagues left 6 months ago so currently, I’m the only one in the team working with my boss (but obviously I’m doing all the work) and my new colleague will only join 3 months later. I’m also covering things way above my supposed job scope which will help my transition easier if I were to get promoted.

However, my boss is very hard to deal with especially when it comes to cost. He will also always except me to get alot of things done when I’m already overwhelmed. It’s really tough cause I don’t have much experience and don’t have anyone to guide me except him.

Even though he’s willing to guide me, he don’t know the processes and it’s always easier said than done. This makes me mentally drained – I don’t hate the work but I hate dealing with him because he always make things difficult even for the simplest thing. I’m conflicted if I should leave as I know promotion is not easy but I’m also scared I will be more stress if I get promoted and can’t perform well (he gets mood swing easily…).

Seriously need an advise whether I should take on this opportunity or hop before he expects more from me…

Here are what netizens think:

• Lots of red flags here. When your colleagues leaves one by one and you are the only one left. Next person only comes in 3 months later. You are not promoted by merits. Promotion is likely a decoration on you to make you stay or give you a false sense of recognition. He just wanted someone to stay and work there to pick up his workload and do a JOB. If you don’t feel any passion in your job. Do some soul searching and plan your next career move. A proper CAREER has a coach or someone whom leads and advise you on your future and what qualities you should develop to value add to your personal portfolio.

• nothing comes without cost. the promotion feels more like a sugarcoated trap than a reward as you have described. your call as to see it for what it is.

• Do shop around and see if you can jump ship. No point making a counter offer cos it’ll look bad down the road. But tbh times may be getting tougher and things are rly slowly down…

• Come on.. Everywhere is the same.. Hard to find a good nice boss around.. Fave the music.. Have a nice talk to your boss… It won’t hurt of u wish to resign also.. Market is tough now

Boyfriend’s friend

My boyfriend and I are polar opposites, I am very introverted and shy while my boyfriend is very outgoing. He likes to hang out with his groups of friends and would always bring me along. We have been together for almost 2.5 years now. At the beginning I was very shy and awkward and hated these outings. Over time it got better as I know his friends better.

Recently he started going out more often with a male friend (B) who just came back from his overseas studies. Just like how I try to be friendlier with my boyfriend’s closer friends, I did the same with B. However I find myself getting attracted to B… He is more similar to me, less outgoing but still fun loving. Likes pets just like I do, similar perspective and outlook. I have to admit out of all of my boyfriend’s friends, I tend to be able to carry the conversations with B a lot more naturally.

I have not taken any action of course. I still love my boyfriend a lot. But I am worried the more we hang out together, the more easily I might be tempted some day. What should I do to protect my relationship with my boyfriend?

Here are what netizens think:

• If the intention is to protect the relationship, stop hanging out with B. There will not be any positive outcome. If the intention is to see if you and B have a chance together, chances are yes and probably can consider givng it a try.Don’t ever expect best of both worlds and you can choose only 1. Either way, hope that you make a decision which best suits you. All the best.

• The most obvious answer is alrdy in your confession….Stop meeting him…duh…. btw, if u are a in a r/s with your bf for 2.5 yrs and suddenly you felt attracted to a dude who only appeared recently, that just shows your love for your bf is weak. 2.5 yrs tog and u brought out the “polar opposite” excuse? come on…

• You’re not married, you still can explore other options. Just don’t wait till it’s too late (like 1 day before the wedding). Marriage can make or break your life, choose wisely. Follow your heart.

Am currently dating a girlfriend who is pretty wealth-off while I come from a humble family where both my parents work hard to get me to university and to where I am today as a graduate. I am very grateful to them for slogging hard while taking care of me.

So has been with my gf for a couple of years and she has been complaining in front of me about my parents poor financial planning, resulting in not able to sponsor wedding or flat but I just comfort her every time and she has also accept the fact.

So one fine day, we were sharing with my family about our financial planning and some miscommunication occurred and my gf, in the heat of the convo, tell my parents she doesn’t want to be like them to be poor after working their whole life… my parents handled it really well and stop the convo and went out for their dinner.

I think it’s fine if we complain in front of me but to say in front of my parents, I think that’s a little rude to be doing to the elderly generation.

Here are what netizens think:

• I’m thinking if this OP seriously wanna married this woman… Even as a woman myself I could see her horrible behaviour is such a huge red flag. The way she expected your parents to sponsor the wedding…. It will only get worse and you’ll only be more stucked in between than ever. OP seriously need to think twice…

• Let her know is her family that is wealthy not her. Planning is good but expect people to provide isn’t. As a lady I do also wish that my parents or my in law is well to do so that I can have a nice grand wedding. While the fact is that we have to provide our own wedding. Gone are the days that parents paying for wedding. Youngsters should pay themselves. Last time weddings in restaurants. Nowadays 5star hotel.

• Completely unacceptable if she was my daughter . Firstly , there are many factors that lead to wealth ..luck , opportunities , help from others etc not just planning that will lead you to your financial goals – that’s arrogance n lack of critical thinking skills . Secondly , if she can criticise your parents this way even before marriage , it will likely get worse after . She need to reflect and change her behavior plus apologise to your parents for being rude (and looked down on them )

Do not go into the Big 4 audit/tax if you are an accounting student. Please, just let the partnership die.

Honestly, the only saving grace is the guaranteed promotion annually if you don’t fuck up.

But is it worth it? Because factor that in, the pay is still miserable and the hours are still shitty. So why join Big 4 for the guaranteed promotion?

Not to mention:

The pay is low, and the hours are long. You have to work on weekends, be it whether you are forced by the manager/partner, or that you are so afraid that you cannot complete your work on time because of the ridiculous deadline with the growing shortage of staff that you turn your computer on to catch up on saturdays/sundays. I had worked 14 hours a day for 6-7 days a week for the last 6 months.

You will have no time for your family and friends. You will have to miss gatherings.

You will suffer badly from a lack of sleep. Your health will deteriorate. Your temper will grow and you will become impatient as well.

All this and for what? Honestly, if 9-9-6 is bad, Big 4 is worse and should be illegal.

Here are what netizens think:

• Most people want short-term gratification, the thought is very seductive. Big Four is a good learning ground and working conditions are tests of resilience and self-control. You don’t have to stay long, learn enough, network and keep in touch (most of your peers will branch out into other careers after Big Four) and progress upwards and always keep a lookout for other opportunities outside of your firm.

• Obviously you’re someone who couldn’t keep up. I’ve known of ppl who are in the the big 4 personally, they’re hardworking capable ppl, earning well and managing their family life equally well. It all boils down to how u manage yourself isn’t it. Just cos you’re not doing as good as others doesn’t mean it’s not a good place to be in. If it really bothers u so much, quit.

• It’s the worst charge-out rate for consulting/professional services and often managers/partners don’t indicate the real hours associates put into the each “job”. But what you get is the big4 branding, exposure and increases your caffeine intake. 

no matter what I do, my mom is nvr happy

when I’m finding jobs, she keep saying why find so long? Alot of jobs should be very easy to find, dk what’s difficult.

when I got an offer and shared the gd news with her, she just say the pay not even high enough and why took so long, nothing happy

I just want to share my happy news, but it seems she cannot be ever happy for me. My father, dont care. He just say ok, go work.

nvm, just envy those ppl w supportive parents that’s all

Here are what netiezns think:

• There are ppl who can never be happy for others and must make sure they say stuff to make the other party feel crappy. My mother is someone like that too. It’s just how some ppl work. U only can learn how to ignore such toxicity. Else your life will be miserable.

• When our parents behave differently from our ideal expectations… Quite often and common especially for Asian parents. Actually we need to sympathize them because when they were young, they also don’t have such ideal parents in their upbringing. They had their own challenges and disappointment, and no one to talk to, they also work so hard to have a family and survive in Singapore (highly demand country) to raise you as a kid. In their lives… They have one motivation. Is to ensure you live well or grow up well, as they work hard for the family.

• First – congratulations on getting a job! Nowadays pretty challenging. All the best ya! Side note – i think it’s time you start planning your independence i.e. Moving out. Have a plan and work towards it. Your dad I think is still ok. His response is pretty much like “birthday is a normal day” so i can see why he isn’t exactly jumping for joy. The concern is your mother. She has issues and she’s projecting. It’ll hurt you and your r/s deeply in the long run. But this is just based in what you said ya. I’m not pushing you to sever ties or anything

The phenomenon of Singaporean men frequenting Thai discos (or Siam Diu as it’s more colloquially known) has been a topic of discussion and speculation for years. While some people may view it as a form of harmless entertainment, others have raised concerns about the implications of this trend.

What are Siam Dius

Firstly, it is important to understand what Siam Dius are. Siam Dius are nightclubs that are popular among Thai and Southeast Asian communities. They feature live music, dancing, and entertainment by Thai performers, including singers, dancers, and models. These discos have become increasingly popular in recent years, not only in Thailand but also in other parts of Asia, including Singapore.

One reason why Singaporean men like to visit Siam Dius is the unique atmosphere they provide. Siam Dius offer a distinct experience that cannot be found in regular nightclubs. The music, the performances, and the ambience all create a unique and exciting environment that can be difficult to replicate elsewhere. The sense of adventure and thrill that comes with experiencing something new and exotic is a major draw for many Singaporean men.

Siam Bus known for good looks and figures

Another reason why Singaporean men enjoy Siam Dius is the company. Siam Dius are known for having a large number of attractive Thai performers who interact with customers. Many Singaporean men enjoy the attention and companionship of these performers, who are often more friendly and approachable than those in regular nightclubs. The performers provide a fun and relaxed atmosphere, which allows customers to let loose and have a good time.

And Thai women are known for their exotic good looks and voluptuous figures. Thai women have been recognized globally for their unique beauty and grace. From their distinctive features to their charming personalities, and they are widely recognised as among the most beautiful in the world.

Affordable

In addition, Siam Dius are often more affordable than regular nightclubs. Singapore is known for being an expensive city, and going out to clubs can quickly add up. Siam Dius, on the other hand, offer a more affordable alternative that still provides great entertainment and a fun night out.

A single night out at a Siam Diu could set a thrifty patron back from as low as $65 to as high as probably 4 or 5 figures (according to Golden Mile prices), depending on the amount and type of drinks, or if they decide to hang flowers for the girls. A simple drinking session with friends could be about less than $100 if they choose to do just that and nothing else.

And because there are so many men vying for the attention of a handful of women, the principle of supply and demand comes into play via hanging flowers. The girls can’t possibly spend time with all of the patrons, and the only seemingly fair way they can choose who to drink with are those who spend money hanging flowers for them, and this has been embedded into the Siam Diu culture in Singapore.

Can’t get affection at home

However, it is important to note that the trend of Singaporean men visiting Siam Dius is not without its controversies. Some people have raised concerns about the objectification of Thai performers and the potential for exploitation. There have been reports of performers being forced to drink with customers or engaging in inappropriate behaviour.

Essentially, the primary reason some men visit Siam Dius is that they are unable to get affection and attention from their partners, and turn to Siam Dius to get the feeling of endearment from the girls there.

my mum pulled my pants down today and thinks it’s funny

For context, I never had a really good relationship with my mum. I love her, but I don’t really feel comfortable around her and I don’t think I would like her if we weren’t related.

She often does stuff that kind of crosses a line. For example I’m not really comfortable with physical contact. It’s very fast too much for me but my mum always wants to cuddle and when I was younger she even forced me to cuddle with her.

It’s not just with her it took me a long time to cuddle with my boyfriend but I think it is easier for me because he doesn’t force me or he just makes me feel way more comfortable.

A year ago I told her I wasn’t comfortable with that much physical contact and told her I’d rather come to her if I want to cuddle or comfort, if she is fine with that.

She seemed really disappointed and didn’t say anything until a few weeks later when she told me that I will probably regret that when I’m older and that I hurt her feelings very much. I don’t quiet understand how but fine.

Today I was sitting in the living room and talking with her until I wanted to go back to my room. She was sitting on the sofa and our dog laid over her legs. So I first went to pet it.

As I’m petting my dog she pulls my pants down and laughs. It was super uncomfortable. I felt really ashamed even if it was only me and her and my sister in the kitchen.

Maybe I’m overreacting but I’m a grown woman and I don’t think anyone should just randomly pull my pants down without my permission.

I then told her that that’s why I don’t spend much time with her and she responded that it doesn’t matter because I already spent little time with her. I’m so confused. She still thought it was funny after I told her that.

I don’t know how our relationship can get any better if she does stuff like this.