“Hi everyone, first time posting here and am hoping to have a discussion on the topic of job-hopping.

Background about myself:

– Graduated in 2020 with a mech. engine degree

– 1st career: consulting services sales (~4.1k/mth) at MNC, stayed for 5 months and left because I didn’t enjoy sales and it was extremely stressful. Wanted to be more analytical.

– 2nd career: Senior Business Analyst at MNC(~4.8k/mth excluding AWS, and 1-3 months performance bonus), stayed for 8 months and left because I felt I wasn’t learning much and did not have the opportunity to learn proper BA techniques.

– Current role: Business Analyst at government stat board (~6.2k/mth, excluding 1-5 months performance bonus), close to 7 months in.

Issue with current employment:

For those that work in the public service, you might share the same sentiments that things move EXTREMELY slowly due to approval processes and because we are using tax payer’s money etc.

My project is in the early stages and am currently getting approval for funding. In the meantime, I’m drafting proposals and preparing tender documents. The project is to begin implementation by middle of FY23.

The job is quite cushy (too cushy at times). Others might think it’s a good thing, but being too comfortable is a discomfort for me. I’ve tried to take on more challenges but there are none available for me to get my hands dirty.

To occupy myself, I’m picking up new skills during my free time to ensure I remain employable.

Dilemma:

I was approached by an MNC for the role of a Data Analyst. I am currently interviewing with them and at the final stages. The estimated remuneration would be ~8k/mth, no AWS and no perf bonus. Salary increment 10-15%/year.

I understand that job-hopping does not look good on the resume. But so far, all my ‘hops’ have been for more senior roles and never a downgrade.

Question for others: what would you do if you were me? My career goal would be to become more analytical and groom my skills in data analyses. Salary package is another factor as well.

However, how would this impact my career in the long run? Will recruiters see me as a job hopper? This shouldn’t be a concern if the recruiter is the one who reached out and not the other way around – me applying for a new job. How would this affect my changes getting into the big tech firms (MANGA)?

What’s the best course of action? Thanks!”

Being approached by a stranger in public AND misinterpreting social cues…

Hi all…I kind of suffer from social anxiety, I feel like everyone who sees me in public can see how awkward I’m feeling inside. While it is not true and I know it, that is really what ever “look” or “glance” feels like.

Recently an incident occurred where someone approached me that is making me scared to go out by myself.

Last week, I went to the mall to get some things from NTUC, and after that, I walked around the mall by myself for a while. I don’t have many friends to hang out with and I just wanted to walk around a bit and see some things.

This guy then came to me and talked to me. He said I look quite good and I said thanks awkwardly, it is the first time a stranger approached me before.

He then asked me for my Instagram and number, to which I gave my IG and I said maybe we can talk on ig first.

And then we chatted a bit and he asked me where I am going, I said I am going home.

So he asked me if he can walk me home I said sure. I thought that he was bored and had time to kill so he wanted to walk with me a bit.

So when we reached my place, my condo gate, he asked me if I am down for fwb, and I was like “…” I said no, retreated and frowned and walked away.

He never added me on ig thankfully (or not, because now he knows my IG and may stalk), but that incident kind of traumatised me.

And I am scared to go out by myself again. I wonder who is watching me and wonder what intentions they may have.

Also, my ability to misinterpret social cues scares me. I did not know that’s what is implied by a statement like “can I walk you home”, or whether he changed his mind because of something I said, like my passive tone.

Hais

I can’t stop thinking about sleeping with my wife after my baby was born.

My wife(26f) and I(25m) just had a baby 6 days ago. We didn’t really get much intimate time in bed during pregnancy because of work, our two sons(4m, 5m), and my wife being uncomfortable sometimes.

I watched my wife give birth a few days ago yet I still want to bang her all the time. I even find her dependable (woman diapers) sexy.

Now that she got bigger milk jugs and look finer than ever I can’t help it but to be turned on whenever I look at her. Is this normal? Any other dads feel like this?

Yes I dont leave my wife alone I’m still touchy touchy to her and obviously find her sexy.

She always reminds me heyy I’m still stitched up and I get it. She is in pain because of labour and has after birth pains.

My wife told me to make this post only because she doesn’t know how I’m still wanting to bang or finding her attractive even after giving birth and if its normal

Netizens’ comments

You sound like a wonderful husband. Just keep telling her how beautiful she is, and how much she turns you on. She won’t get tired of hearing it!! When the time is right it’ll happen, just be very VERY gentle. Hubs and I did it 9 days after my c-section, and everything was fine, we just took it very slowly.

My boyfriend can’t get hard/stay hard in bed.

I (22F) met my boyfriend (25M) online a while ago, and we clicked really really well in every other aspect except in bed. He has a really high libido, and recently overcame an addiction to adult videos that consumed a lot of his later teen years/early twenties.

Because of his high libido, we had a lot of self-stimulation through the phone after we started dating but before we met, in which he built this idea in my mind of what he was like in bed, among other things. He had several intense fantasies that he showed me, and because I enjoyed making him happy, I helped indulge in those fantasies.

We had an online relationship and finally met up in May. He never ever mentioned to me having previous erectile issues, ever, to much of my surprise he quite literally couldn’t get hard, or if he could, he couldn’t stay hard whilst we would hook up.

It was (and is) really really tough for me. I questioned whether he was actually attracted to me. He assured me that it wasn’t my fault, and we had a rocky few days where he admitted that he had been experiencing erectile issues for the last few years but kept avoiding the subject because he didn’t want to believe there was something wrong.

It’s difficult, because I’ve watched him get himself off so many times. He can stay hard and shoot with ease over the phone or even on video calls. I couldn’t understand what it was about us that had him go soft everytime I put him in my mouth or tried to put him inside of me.

He stayed with me for an entire month, and we only had successful “proper” intercourse once, but he went soft after 5 or so minutes. I don’t get turned on much by his fantasies, and I felt sad that fantasies were the only way I could get him off. I just want to have normal intimacy like a normal couple.

I fear that due to prolonged exposure to adult videos, he has lost the ability to find typical intercourse attractive. He told me he would book an appointment with a doctor to try and resolve this issue.

I told him I didn’t want to touch myself over the phone with him anymore because I felt like it really negatively affected my expectations of him and also affected his degree of excitement to do naughty things with me.

Does anyone have any tips or ideas? I feel I am missing such an important part of our relationship. I’m really worried it won’t ever get better.