Due to current layoffs in tech, I am afraid I’ll get fired at work, so I am thinking how I should prepare for it. I was always a ‘C’ student in school.

Fortunately, I managed to get a decent job during COVID and have been working for 2 years. However, I feel that I didn’t learn much that would be useful in other tech companies (I am a swe but every day I only write small proprietary scripts for automation and prepare report data in excel).

I am okay with the current job but what if I am fired, what should I do? I try to pick up some online courses to stay up to date with the tech trends.

However, I feel that I cannot compare to AAA/A CS graduates, plus an excellent pool of recent layoffs from big tech companies.

Tech layoffs

The news of tech layoffs has been a big shock for me. I’ve been working in the tech industry for the past 2 years and have been loyal to my company, so I never expected to be in a situation where I could get laid off. It’s something that I’m not prepared for, and I’m afraid of the uncertainty that comes with it.

I’ve heard stories of people who have been laid off despite their hard work and dedication, and it scares me to think that I could be one of them. I know that my company is in a good financial position, but I can’t help but worry that I’m not going to be safe. It’s a feeling of helplessness that I can’t shake, and it’s making me anxious.

I’m trying to stay positive and focus on my work, but I can’t help but feel like I’m walking on eggshells. I’m constantly checking my emails and making sure I’m doing everything I possibly can to make sure I don’t get laid off. I’m also trying to save money in case I do get laid off, so I can have some cushion until I find a new job.

At the same time, I’m trying to stay focused on the present and not get too caught up in the fear of the future. I’m trying to stay productive and make sure I’m putting my best foot forward at work. I’m also trying to network as much as possible, so if the worst happens I can hopefully get back on my feet quickly.

I know that tech layoffs are a reality in the industry, and I’m trying to be prepared for the worst. I’m trying to stay positive and focus on the tasks at hand rather than worry about what might happen in the future. I know that I can’t control the situation, but I’m doing everything I can to make sure I’m as prepared as possible if I do get laid off.

When I was younger, I always felt like I was on the outside looking in. The girls in my class always seemed to be drawn to the more handsome guys, and I couldn’t seem to make any conversation with them, let alone make them laugh.

I was always too shy to make any jokes or try to be funny, because I was afraid of being judged as a pervert.

It wasn’t until I got to poly that I realized how unfair this double standard was.

I noticed that the more handsome guys in my classes would frequently tell dirty jokes and make crude comments, and for the most part, everyone seemed to find them funny. But if I, as an “ugly guy,” tried to do the same, I was immediately judged as a pervert.

This double standard has been especially apparent in the dating world. I’ve seen handsome guys make sexual innuendos and tell dirty jokes to women and be rewarded with laughter and dates. But if I tried to do the same, it was seen as creepy and uncomfortable. It’s like the world has decided that only good-looking guys are allowed to make sexual jokes, and that the rest of us should remain silent.

This isn’t just unfair, it’s also a bit hypocritical. After all, the same people who judge ugly guys for making dirty jokes often engage in the same behavior themselves. It’s like they’re saying that dirty jokes are okay when they or someone they find attractive makes them, but not okay when someone they don’t find attractive makes them.

I understand that there are certain social norms that need to be respected and that there is a time and a place for dirty jokes. But it’s not fair for the world to judge ugly guys for making them while rewarding handsome guys for doing the same. We all should be allowed to make jokes without fear of being judged or labeled as perverts.

At the end of the day, we’re all human. We all have the same wants, needs, and desires, and we should all be allowed to express ourselves without fear of judgment. We should be able to make jokes and have conversations without worrying about what others will think of us.

Whether you’re an ugly guy or a handsome guy, you should be able to make jokes and express yourself freely without fear of judgment.

I am feeling very troubled.

Whenever my clique and I are eating out, there is always someone in the group who always have less than $10 in her bank account and cash altogether (we are all in our 20s).

However, she will still always suggest we have meals together, and during payment, she would look to any of us to help her pay her share as she does not have enough. I would always end up being the soft one who will pay for the meals or drinks that she ordered.

It is not the first time, and I am sure it will not be the last either. I am not sure what to do, as I do not want to be deemed as the stingy one since a meal only costs less than $10.

I am also not sure if is it because she knows I will always pay for her, and she always does not even have more than $5 in her bank whenever we are ready for payment at the counter.

Please advise me on what to do as I do not want to lose a friendship over money.

Here are what netizens think:

• It’s understandable that you feel troubled by this situation. However, it’s important to set boundaries for yourself and your finances so that you don’t end up feeling taken advantage of.

• Have an honest conversation with your friend: Let her know that you are happy to spend time with her, but you are feeling uncomfortable paying for her meals every time you go out. It’s possible that she is not aware of how her actions are affecting you and may be willing to make adjustments.

• Darling. Just ask straight to the face. If it’s too often, everyone will eventually get sick of it. Ask straight and ask openly.

• Like you said, it’s only $10. You just need to decide whether this friendship is worth more than $10? Or you can just find excuses to avoid eating out with her if it really bothers you? There are actually simple answers to many problems in life. Cheers.

I’m a single guy in my early 30s. I spent 10 years slaving at my business and amassed low eight-figure savings. I’ve dated numerous girls in their late twenties over the past year, none of whom I was able to go exclusive with.

8 Figure not enough

Quick tip for guys like me who are still cursing their singlehood – it’s not about money. Well, not unless you blatantly flaunt them. It’s not time either. I’m semi-retired and poured all my time and effort into the relationships, which naturally backfired because they have their own life which comprises 80% of work.

Majority of it is about our personality and luck (in finding someone compatible, even if we have a toxic personality). So * our life. * Singapore’s historically low fertility rate of 1.05.

Just here to vent and not to get a solution. I mean, many has read all the books in the world about how to be a better and more likeable human.

Here are what netizens think:

• Cb! 8 figure is tens of million leh u counted the 2 decimal point in your balance sibo? Niama if not including the decimal then wat u do de ah? Knn u bookie do 4d toto horse betting soccer ah

• FTX toh liao la. LOL if ftx then it would be 8 fig debts not savings liao

• You are not alone. I am not lucky too

• You are early 30s n only do biz ten years n u amassed low eight figures savings? What u do btw?

• Flaunting one’s wealth just to attract girls also sounds like a bad idea though.

• Agreed, in the long run it is a bad idea. You are most likely going to attract materialistic women who are only interested in your money.

• U got the time and luck portion right for sure.

My parents have been pressuring me to faster get a job and work, and I’m really frustrated.

It’s not like they need me to give them allowance, they have sufficient savings and hv good jobs.

They just keep comparing me to my sister who grad same time as me but alrdy got a job. Well, sorry for not starting the job hunt early, since I was hospitalized and still struggling w some physical health conditions since last year. At that time, I was not even thinking of finding a job, I was thinking to take my life, I was in pain. Seems like they forgot and just blame me for being stupid and not starting the job hunt last yr, while I was sick.

And even though now I’m feeling better, I’m still on strong medicines until god knows when I can stop treatment. I really want to take a short break and alrdy starting to apply to jobs last mth. Seems like they expect me to find a job within 1 mth, in this economy. And everytime they keep telling me to just work, friend got 2k job at changi go work, pls we live at west side, and I got no human rights to take a rest???

I really just want to cry, but I got nobody to talk to. It’s not like I’m asking them for money, I have been paying my own medical bills (around 500 a mth), hospital bills and everything, in case someone wants to lecture me about leeching off them. I have been taking the time to brush up my skills while waiting for interviews, and hv been constantly applying.

Rest also cannot, job apply alrdy nvr get back to me yet, since only few weeks, also unhappy. Really dk what to do, they want me to unalive myself before they get happy and stop stressing me out???

Here are what netizens think:

• I hope you feel better after venting and letting it out here. Having an outlet is very important. I hope you’ll continue to find healthy ways to process these very difficult emotions and situations you’re in. If you’re ready to problem solve… Another way to look at this is that how they think about you is very important to you. That is why it matters to you what they say or think about your job search and ability to secure a job.

• If they are so important that their approval is something you want and without it you’re in a state of stress, perhaps learning to be vulnerable with your parents might be a difficult but very helpful long-term personal development you might want to focus on.

• Same. My father tell me that when I become 35, no company will hire an old woman like me. Also my father wants me to constantly be reading about stocks instead of watching Disney plus at home

Will you choose someone who loves you, or someone you love? Let’s call the former Person A and the latter Person B. Both are interested in me, and I’m conflicted.

Person A is shy but made the effort to confess to me.

He is a wonderful guy, with a slight difference in lifestyle. I can tell the amount of effort he puts into me, and he is really everything I am looking for. He is the type to accompany me to watch the sunset and study when I am alone. He also helps me with anything I require assistance with.

I feel really comfortable with him whenever we hang out. He makes an effort to talk to me and tries not to end the conversation. However, I love humorous guys, and he is not all that funny. Sometimes I find him boring. But I do like him because he is really nice and treats me really well. I know that if I get together with him, I will love him back and treat him well too.

But I also know that I might get irritated when he’s boring or nags.

Person B is shy too, but did not make the effort to confess to me.

I only knew that he liked me from our mutual friends. He is really tall and cute. I initiated the conversation with him, and I was attracted to him from the first time I talked to him. He’s really funny, and he makes me laugh all the time. We can click very well too. But he is not the type to accompany me whenever I am alone.

I created the opportunity to be alone with him and asked him to study and eat with me, only to get disappointed as he joined our mutual friend group for study dates. We don’t chat as often, and he often leaves me on read. We have similar lifestyles, but it gets a little awkward when we are alone.

I know that I like him more than Person A, but he is not treating me as well, and I’m worried that I will be hurt and disappointed while in the relationship.

If you were me, would you accept Person A’s confession, or would you wait for Person B? I’m not here for criticism, so you can save your time if you are not giving any advice:)

Everyone has a story, this is mine.

My dad passed away when I was a teenager. Before he fell sick he and my mom got a divorce. Their split was horrid and traumatic for me because I witnessed a lot of violent physical fights. I can still remember he held a knife and wanted to attack my mom. He swung and slammed the door into her and she let out a terrifying scream. Both of them are bad tempered and toxic towards each other. I witnessed all these when I was below the age of 10. I suffered from PTSD for years.

I remember feeling helpless and terrified whenever they start fighting. I forgot the number of times the police showed up because of all the yelling and screaming. Sometimes there’s blood on the floor at the scene where they fought. This was how I remember the bulk of my childhood.

My mother is literally a crazy woman as a single parent. In today’s day and age, I guess she can be called a bipolar, narcissist, borderline or maybe all of the above. She had no one to fight and argue with so she would regularly unleash all her emotions onto us, especially me, because I’m a female. When I hit puberty, she became more violent towards me. I was not rebellious. I studied hard, but she was never proud of me.

None of our needs mattered. All our birthdays were meant to celebrate her instead. Because that was the day she suffered to give birth to us. Every holiday was supposed to treat her like a queen because she deserves a break. She only cared about controlling us no matter how unreasonable and nonsensical the request is because we owe her our lives. She was not happy even when we followed her instructions. This was how I remember my teenage years.

I was always mentally preparing myself for her to explode on me. To be battered mentally and physically is the norm. There was no way out as I can’t bear to leave my younger sibling alone with her. In a sense, I became a mother to my younger sibling. I fed and supported my younger sibling the moment I could because my mother abandoned all her responsibilities to ‘find herself’.

She went on to have affairs with married men. Travelled out of sg for months, in the name of love. Lucky I already learnt how to cook by age 11. I remember bawling my eyes out when she left home with her luggage. I was 13. How tf do kids run a home for months without any adult? But we survived.

When her mood comes, she would go on a rampage and say we are cursed and we will grow up to lead the same kind of life like her. She hated our existence because she lost her freedom, her youth, her everything. For a while, I actually believed her that I should not exist.

Took me decades to understand why she hated me. I didn’t end up having a lousy life as she expected. I found a job that I love and actually enjoy. I met someone, married and lived a totally different life from hers. I have long term friendships unlike her. All of us are leading peaceful lives now.

She is wrong about all of us.

Don’t believe everything your parents tell you. They aren’t always right. Never believe you are doomed to walk in their footsteps. There’s always a chance to change your destiny.

Manager asked me to give up a promotion to save their job
The company I am working for is having a RIF. Totally sucks overall, but as part of the reorganization, I am being retained and given a promotion.

My manager’s role is at risk and unless they find a new role in the organization, they will lose their job.

My manager contacted me today and asked me to keep my current role so that they can make a play for the promotion I was offered.

The conversation was awkward, and I was shocked. My manager realized that they were making a pretty big mistake by starting this conversation about halfway through the call and apologized. I told them it was best we end the conversation.

Frankly, I still feel awkward and a bit like an imposter, but mostly, I feel for my manager and their family. I’ve been made redundant before, so I know the pure fear that can go into it.

Not really sure why I am posting this other than I just really need to get it off my chest. Thanks for reading.

Netizens’ comments

1. If the situation were reversed would they give up their job to save yours? The answer will (mostly likely) be a resounding NO. When it comes to your livelihood always look out for yourself first. The company not only retained you, but thought highly enough of your work to give a promotion as well.
   Take the promotion but keep that resume updated.
2. I feel for the manager, and I know they must be desperate. They’re probably just scared about their future and did the one thing they thought would help them. You, however, deserve your promotion, and not giving it up does not make you a bad person: I hope you know this.
   Congrats OP – all your hard work has really paid off! I wish you nothing but the best in your new position, and I hope your career advances as far as you want it to. As previous comments stated, always keep your resume updated, but enjoy your time in your new position! 🙂
3. Congratulations on your promotion!!! It was really inappropriate for your manager to ask you this. I feel bad for them but you earned this.
4. Since they didn’t offer anything to him- even a lesser position, means that the company wants him gone. The company may be using the recession to clean house to lower their costs and middle management always takes the hit.

What are your retirement plans?

I’m currently in my 30s, spending 12hours outside of house, Mon to Fri, working. I sleep ard 9hrs per day, so only have 3hrs to rest on weekdays, including cooking and eating dinner.

Considering to retire earlier than retirement age (maybe 58-60yo) to spend time on myself and enjoy life more (e.g. exercise more, raising a puppy, going for hikes etc..)

My wife and I don’t plan to have kids as well. Would like to hear what are some of the retirement plan or milestones yall have!

Netizens’ comments

1. My wife and myself will spend retirement doing
   -volunteer work(willing hearts, animal shelters, etc)
   -counselling
   -consulting
   -some part time work where we can interact with ppl
   Essentially keeping ourselves busy with things that are good for society(giving back) as such activities are not wallet friendly.
2. Semi retired in my 30s. married but no kids. I usually tell people i am on sabbatical. Retirement is fundamentally unstructured and you have to internally impose your own meaning and purpose in life, which i think most singaporeans will struggle with because we grow up in an environment where we are always told what to do.
   Personally i think it is helpful to have “mental” and “physical” hobbies. Mental hobbies can be learning of new skills or language while physical ones are sports (preferably social or team based). You have to constantly set mini goals for yourself otherwise you will end up in a state of ennui and depression.
3. Now 40yo, don’t ever intend to have kids. Intend to pay off my flat by 45yo then planning to FIRE when I’m between 45-50yo. Gonna spend a few months a year traveling within the region. Japan is like a second home to me. In-between I’d be working part-time to earn some kopi money. Just take life slow and chill.
4. don’t plan to retire. when older just find a job that is less mentally taxing/stressful. But otherwise i find it’s quite unhealthy to retire
5. Currently in my 30s too. Not planning to retire early because I will be too bored, not working for a few months is nice but it gets old after awhile. So I guess I will work till retirement age or till I am no longer gainfully employed.
   I’m single and I don’t have any dependents, so don’t need that much and nothing to pass on to my next generations. For my own personal retirement plans are to own 1 condo here and another one overseas, rent 1 out and stay in the other. Another option is to rent both out and just stay in budget hotels around the world, with the crazy rental market here shouldn’t be too difficult. Also to have 1 mil in CPF for some cash in case of rainy days.