He would have rage bursts and act it out on my brother and I. He would also berate everyone (my mum was ‘stupid’, and cursed at using extreme profanities when she got into car accidents, I was told I was ‘stupid’ bc I couldn’t memorise my timestables quickly enough as a kid).

My brother and I needed to excel at school, otherwise we were invisible. Whenever we didn’t do exceptionally well, my dad would tell us we were failures etc. When my brother got a prestigious wide award in primary school, I was told that I was a disappointment because I wasn’t like my brother.

Whenever as a really young child, I would raise how I was unhappy with the abuse, I would be told that I wasn’t his child, I should be evicted from the house, and I was being ungrateful because who else would pay for my school fees or the clothes on my back.

Despite his behaviour, I had an okay relationship with my dad until I was about 12.

That all changed when I found evidence that he was cheating on my mum. My mum was the one who sacrificed day and night for my brother and I (she worked so hard on her small business… & loved us unconditionally). He also essentially blamed my mum for him cheating on her instead of taking accountability for it.

Our relationship deteriorated, but up until the age of 18, it was almost like I needed his approval, so I would occasionally talk to him about my studies.

Once I hit maybe 19-20, I finally stopped needing his approval & realised just how traumatised I was, how these experiences weren’t normal, and how he really wasn’t changing (continued rage bursts, deflection of blame, and displaying entitlement). Around that age, I ceased all interaction with him.

Today I get a letter from my dad, saying that for *my* sake, the family’s sake, and the sake of *my* career, we should rebuild our relationship, and how sorry he is.

The thing is, I don’t think his apology really shows proper awareness of his actions – he doesn’t really mention any of the abuse, he minimizes a lot of what happened as ‘cultural differences’ but he does express that if he could, he would do things differently. My dad, however, has never changed out of a desire to better himself or due to remorse for his actions, and I strongly believe that my dad only sent this letter of apology to get something *he* wants (the relationship with me).

He also does not acknowledge his infidelity which he says was a simple misunderstanding between my mum and him (once I saw his FB account with all these 20 yo underdressed girls as his friends and he said I was imagining things – before deleting the acc…?)

So, what happened was, my sister got into a really bad friend group about 7 months ago, and ever since then she started acting really strange, and aggressive, she simply isn’t herself anymore.

She stole money and beat my parents and our younger sister and me. She also started getting home drunk at 5 am almost every single day, and my parents have still never forbidden her anything, have never grounded her and have never laid a finger on her.

One night my parents told her to be back by 11 pm, she got upset, was with her friends the entire day, got home even angrier, spat on my dad and hit my mom with a ladle, and then she went out with another friend who told her to report my parents to the police, which she did, and reported my parents for domestic abuse which isn’t true.

If it was, I would’ve gotten my sisters out a long time ago.

She is now at a safe house. One day she asked me to give the stuff she needed, I met up with her and she was with those friends, a girl and a guy (who’s legally an adult btw), and that guy was very controlling over her, he kept whispering to her what to say etc, and every time she looked over at him she got even more aggressive towards me.

My parents are very upset because she had no reason to do this. Literally no reason. I am really burdened trying to keep them afloat since my mom is crying all day because she isn’t at home and is worried that she’s hungry, thirsty etc because she’s a parent and worries and loves her. I am trying to help everyone but I feel myself slipping.

I’ve not been in the mood for anything since this has happened and since this burden fell on me. My concern rn is if I should I tell my fiance what is going on or should I keep it to myself since this thing might sort out and it’s between my parents and my sister?

My parents asked me not to share it with him because they don’t feel like it’s necessary.

So yearrrs later a few times a year I get social media requests from extra accounts he’s made after I blocked him. I figured it was him but some sleuthing confirmed it.

I just kept not approving those new follow requests and deleting anyone off my social media if I wasn’t sure who they were.

I also found out he got access to my work calendar for a little while by making a fake “client” account. Actual clients of mine can see my availability to book meetings but he was just trying to see when I was working I think.

But I recently moved back to my parents and I joined a hiking group on Facebook and then… Guess who “happened” to be into hiking? I chua sai I saw him and I just left.

I took a picture before I went and I went home to figure out what to do. I didn’t want this guy in my business anymore, he was honestly scaring me, but police can’t really do anything unless an actual crime has happened. And making 15 fake Instagrams and showing up at one hiking group didn’t seem like something they’d take seriously.

So I filed a report anyway but didn’t expect it to go anywhere.

Then I also unblocked him long enough to find his mom’s and dad’s Facebook account. And when I did, i also realized he was engaged to a woman.

I was so angry first that he was being so creepy, then that he was doing that when engaged secretly. So I took my screenshots of 15 Instagram accounts, fake client account, etc… he made and evidence of them being linked to his phone number and sent them to his family and fiancee along with the picture from hiking.

And I said that I dated this man in uni six years ago and multiple times a year he tries to circumvent the fact that I have him blocked on social media by making fake accounts to friend me.

And he showed up where I was at. And I filed a police report and if any of them care about him at all they better talk some sense into him and tell him he best leave me alone because if he kept coming around or trying to con me into giving him access to my life ot where I’m at on social media l would be pursuing it legally.

His parents didn’t answer at first but his fiancee flipped out at me calling me a liar. Then his parents chimed in the group chat saying that they would have a talk with their son but the way I brought this to their attention with a Facebook messenger group was insensitive.

I got frustrated and said that being stalked was insensitive and I would appreciate it if they took this up with their son instead of me.

The three of them blocked me but I haven’t heard a thing from my ex. I don’t know if his family or girl believes me but I’m hoping that the fact that they probably asked him about it scared him straight.

AITA for having put a stop to stalking like this?

Now I have expressed to my friend that she deserves better and that she doesn’t need someone who treats her this way.

She always thanks me for the kind words but I felt like it just never got through.

Anyways they broke up around a week ago. After they broke up they cuddled before he left which to me makes absolutely no sense.

I told her that although being comforted is nice especially since she’s going through a tough time, she shouldn’t be cuddling him since that’s not gonna make the separation easier.

This week they got BACK together. She said how happy she was and this is when my irritation broke loose. I’ve always tried being a good friend and comforted her whenever things were rocky in her relationship.

I told her everything that I could possibly say to make her feel better, yet when I heard she decided to get back with him it just pissed me off so much. Maybe after 2 days of getting back together, she complained about him taking forever to respond to her texts (I think he didn’t reply for 6 hours)

I told her:

“I love you very much, I hope you know that. But I don’t want to hear your complaints anymore. You had everything in your power to leave him, you know he’s not a good guy, you know you’re not being treated the best, and yet you decided to stay with him. Because of this I think I need to tell you that I no longer want to hear anything negative about your relationship. You can tell me if he takes you for dinner, you can tell me if he buys you flowers. But do not come to me to complain about him anymore. Its draining and stressful for me to be worried about a relationship that I’m not even apart of. You have no right to complain when you put yourself in the situation you kept complaining about.”

She got mad and started giving me short cold replies. I mean I get why I guess. She’s going through a lot it’s just… She has everything in her to leave. I really don’t get why getting back was one of the options. I just got fed up with it and needed to put my foot down since everything I was saying before wasn’t getting through. I know I was harsh with my words but I needed to tell her otherwise I’d continue being stressed over something that’s really not my issue.

How are her relationship problems my problems?

They just met for the first time 3 months ago. I’ve been slowly having them spend more time together and so far it has been pretty good. My ex is supposed to take the kids every other weekend, but he’s pretty flaky and it doesn’t always work out that way.

My BF has been telling me for the past month or so that he wants to take me out for a fancy date since that isn’t something we have done together yet. This past weekend was supposed to be my ex’s to have the kids, so I told my BF that he can plan something then.

So he did. He booked us a table at one of the nicest restaurants in town (he had to book 3 weeks in advance for a Saturday night reservation). He also got us VIP passes for a movie I’ve been wanting to see. I was so excited when he told me about all of this. I’ve never had someone take me out for a fancy date like that.

But, as usual, my ex ruined it. He flaked out on taking the kids last minute. My ex and I had a big fight about it, but nothing changed. I scrambled to try and find a babysitter, but I couldn’t on short notice. My kids were also really upset that their dad messed up again and the idea of leaving them with a babysitter didn’t sit right with me anyway.

I told my BF what happened and he was initially very sympathetic and supportive, but when I asked him if he would be ok with us just staying in and having a movie night with my kids, his tone changed.

He said that we’ve done movie nights every weekend since he’s met my kids and that he was really looking forward to a change. He said he spent a lot of time making these arrangements and has already spent money on the tickets, which weren’t cheap. I told him he could try to sell them quick, but he didn’t want to try that.

He didn’t really give me an answer on whether or not he would come over to see us and he said “I’ll see what I can do.” Well, turns out what he decided to do was to go to the restaurant and show by himself. He wouldn’t answer my texts or calls all day, he was in town all night.

I confronted him about it the next day and he fessed up. I told him how disappointed and upset I was and he told me to blame my ex, not him. I told him he was just like every other man and would just take the easy way out when things got hard. He told me he tried very hard to make a special night for us and he wasn’t just going to let expensive tickets go to waste.

I called him a jerk, but he thinks I should have worked harder to get a sitter since I knew how much this night meant to him. It meant a lot to me too, but my kids will always come first and they needed me.