I left work early today and I keep overthinking if my workplace will think badly of me

I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I just joined over a month ago so maybe that’s why I’m overthinking. But around 4pm today, my husband called me to say his grandfather passed away and he’s gna get a ticket to fly for the funeral tonight.

Of course this just shocks me and I told my manager what happened, & that i want to leave and be with my husband till he leaves for the airport.

My husband family lives abroad and it’s a 4hr flight away. So the flight is for 10:35pm and we probably need to be at the airport by 8.

All I could think about at the time was to rush home, be with my husband, help him pack his stuff, be with him till the airport.

I can’t come obviously bcos i’m on probation and I have no leaves. & it’s also expensive to buy 2 tickets last minute like this.

My husband has boarded now and I’m just on my way home from the airport, & I just kept overthinking if my colleagues is going to think badly of me for leaving work early when I won’t even be attending the funeral? You get what i mean?

it’s just probably out of the ordinary because if any relatives of mine in SG passed away i’ll probably leave to go to the funeral and if they’re close, take compassionate leave even if it’s unpaid.

but do you think they will talk rubbish that i left early when the funeral is not even in sg and i’m not even attending it?

How do you summon the courage to quit from your first job ?

I know this might be a stupid question and for some its really easy, but as someone who is very sensitive to change, I’m really terrified at quitting my first job.

I don’t know what the new environment is like, don’t have the paper qualifications (diploma only), and not familiar with how the job market is.

But I think it has come to a point where I no longer believe the company’s views align with mine and management is stifling growth (Its an SME btw).

How did you find the courage to leave your first job ? Were you anxious going into your 2nd one ? Did you quit without having a second job lined up ?

I have so many unknowns that idk how to face… Would appreciate some insights, thanks !

Netizens’ comments

I’m a diploma holder and quit my first job after almost 2 years with the company (a large MNC).

At about 1.5 years into the job, I was pretty burned out and couldn’t see a clear path for me — I was siao on (overly enthusiastic) and have done things like u-turning at Checkpoint (while going to KL) to return to office just because someone took MC. I became disillusioned after I was given a lower bonus grade than a slightly junior peer because I had a mental breakdown in office once and that caused some stir.

Plus, there are also many seniors ahead of me awaiting promotion, and I figured that I could not work and wait that long for a promotion.

Also, there are some grievances which I was unhappy with. They did try to manage the grievances but I wasn’t satisfied with the outcome.

By that time, I was sure that it was time to move on

So I started applying for jobs online, and after about 3 months of job search, I was offered a job (my 2nd job).

However, as my company needed 2 months’ notice but my new company couldn’t wait that long, I decided to give a shorter notice and pay notice-in-lieu for the rest.

Where did I find the courage to quit? The desire to leave that place for good was too strong.

Was I anxious going into 2nd job? Yes, but I also look forward to learning new things and meet new people (I don’t like to socialise, but every now and then it’s good to know some people).

One piece of advice – don’t quit without a job. That dwindling bank balance and that feeling of uncertainty may cause you to make wrong decisions no matter how smart you are.

Good luck mate

Dad has cancer. Can I defer NS while i wait for him to pass?

Hey all. Today a call from the hospital came and the nurse said that my dad is diagnosed with stage 4 pancreatic cancer and is not curable.

I didnt absorb the information that she was speaking to me about so im quite clueless about the options such as chemo etc.

The only information that i know of is that the cancer has spread throughout his body as its a very late stage 4 cancer and the nurse told me that he only have a few months.

I’m 24 this year and have deferred NS to go through NITEC and H.NITEC and lastly Poly.

My dad was telling me that he wants to travel the world and have abit of fun before he passes and wishes that I can be there with him.

This breaks my heart knowing that I had just graduated from poly and would soon be getting my enlistment letter. Is there anyway for me to further defer my NS? Any advice is greatly appreciated.

Netizens’ comments

1. Hi OP, I’m so sorry to hear about your situation. I hope you and your family are able to find joy and solace in whatever time remains.
   What is your current academic situation? Fresh out of poly already? Have you done your medical checkup? Best to call the NS hotline to explain your situation. But I fear that CMPB can be rather heartless
   • (OP) My dad and my mom is going through a divorce currently and he’s waiting for her lawyer letter.. There’s so many things i feel that is unfair for him and how my mom treated him for these few years.. But i hope that i can be there for him when he needs me the most

I just finished my internship, and extended my time with the company. My official deferment on the ns website states that I am deferred until March 2023 and they didnt state the day.

And yes, I have already done my medical checkup. I will try it the first thing tomorrow regarding calling up CMPB and explaining my situation to them. Thanks for your input, i greatly appreciate it.

People who try to board the MRT before other passengers have exited – Why?

Netizens’ comments

1. I shoulder bumped an ah beng who couldnt give 2 hoots me and others were exiting. Then he and his gang converged on me on the platform.
   I stood my ground saying people were exiting why didn’t you let us alight first. Then his friends started saying I could have said excuse me.
   True. Guess we’re both right and wrong at the same time but still.. shouldn’t you let people alight first? Some of them threatened to whack me there and then, in broad daylight, on the platform… only 1 or 2 of them were civilised enough to stop the altercation lol
2. 194cm very large and wide person here, i need to bend my neck before i can enter the MRT and i can easily take 3/4 of the door space.
   i have pushed through my fair share of aunties who are so blind that they cannot see a literal giant in front of them.
   everytime i say, Auntie, ni xia yen ah, wo jiang da ni kan bu dao? (auntie are you blind, I’m so big you can’t see me?)
   I have also unfortunately kicked my fair share of small kids who i really could not have seen due to my height.
3. I was alighting the MRT train with a big rolling suitcase. This uncle tries to get in before giving me the chance to step out. I made it as hard as possible for him forcing my way through with my suitcase, it’s petty of me but it’s just so annoying when people do it.
   When I was in Beijing, it’s actually very common there, people will force their way in without letting you alight first.
4. It was fun when I hard elbow bumped into a swanky gold chain and Prada wearing mainland Chinese guy in his lower ribs, as if i have never seen him coming in breaking the line at Orchard MRT !! It was fun to take the breath out of that imbecile and guide him outside of the train compartment and let the train leave !
5. Literally just saw this Boomer auntie jump my queue and put her face in front of the gates to try and get in first.
   Boomer uncle trying to get out just immediately shouted “Are you stupid? Let people get out first.”
   Best boomer own boomer moment. Loved it.
6. Generally these are people who don’t understand the concept of “out first then in” “left in right out” some people just never learned about it in their life despite daily commuting.
   Not everyone were taught it ,not every seniors will gained their knowledge despite they are older.

Watching movies/sleeping with him inside me

Recently i was watching a movie with my boyfriend and was feeling kinda turned on but instead of asking him to screw me, he penetrated me and stayed inside me and we watched the rest of the movie that way.

It felt so good even when he did not thrust, he came from just being inside me.

I am now obsessed with doing this but was wondering if there is any hygiene issues with him being inside me for so long?

Netizens’ comments

1. My wife and I do this every night in bed. It’s how we get to sleep. I consider it a form of c—warming because there’s little to no thrusting.
   It’s wonderful for us, super intimate and a great way to wind down our brains for a good sleep.
   We have never had any health problems from it.
2. My wife and I have tried, but she moves and I get the tickles, hips just kinda take over on their own.
3. I woken up many times in the middle of the night and found myself soaking inside of the wife but that wasn’t how we went to bed!
   We have wanted a soak whilst watching tv or cuddles in bed but we are too turned on and once inside we both don’t want to stop.
4. Marinating is an effective way to enhance the flavor, add extra moisture, and tenderize meat. In addition, a good marinade can help make leaner cuts less dry and make tougher pieces of meat more succulent. People have been soaking their meats in seasoned liquid for centuries.
5. This seriously sounds so amazing and intimate. Wish I had someone to do that with 😭
6. I mean, my wife and I have fallen asleep with me inside her before, but I’ve never considered doing it deliberately.
   I don’t think it’s weird OP and its certainly not unhygienic! If you both get pleasure from it, then go for it I say!
7. That’s a significant part of many neo-tantric practices. Beautiful stuff. Try energy and breathing practices, too

I am gullible and screwed up…

I’m 24 years old turning 25 and recently bought (2 months ago) a HSBC Life Wealth Accelerate ILP (premium of 1.1k per month so 2.2k so far) just off the basis of trusting a close friend (dumb move…I know)

I wanted to save up for the future as my current salary of 3.5k per month doesn’t allow me to hit the goals of purchasing a BTO in the next 5-10 years.

My next premium is due on the 9th March and I’ve been pondering about whether I’ve made a right choice in trusting my close friend.

It was recently when I asked her if she had any projected returns in mind or to elaborate on the fund strategies (TOO late…I know), when the alarm bells set off in my head.

All she said was “There’s no projected returns because there’s no guarantee and that the fund strategies have been heavily reliant on their belief in the China market.”

I’ve also taken steps to confide in my family but understandably they’ve just scolded me for being so trusting and cavalier with my finances.

I just need advice on whether I should just cut this SGD 2200 and steer far away from investments ever again (traumatizing experience) or bite the bullet and tough out this policy for 30 years (MIP) as this incident has generated a lot of trust issues in me.

I’m very new to this and blind faith was not a smart thing to do…I realized that and now I’m just looking for ways to move forward.

My wife is constantly nervous to make any sound in bed. How do I encourage her to be more open? This helps combat a medically reduced libido.

The title explains it all, but it’d be valuable if I try to provide some background into this. My wife and I have been together almost 8 years, married for 6 years. When intercourse occurs it is great, but it hasn’t been without issue in the time we’ve been together. These issues range from travel due to careers, mental health, to even medical surgeries that kept us down and out for extended periods of time. There has been one variable that has remained constant though, I’m the noisy one, whereas she is typically the quiet one.

I consider being noisy a learned trait, it’s something I had to learn to do through multiple partners. I want my partners to know that I’m enjoying them and what they’re doing, that there is enthusiasm. To ensure that, I moan, I grunt, I dirty talk, and whatever else to show that I’m drunk on the pleasure that is occurring between us. This isn’t the case for my wife.

My wife is typically quiet during intercourse and will let out some noise, typically when she’s about to come or we’ve been at it for while, but otherwise is mostly silent. This can change, but it changes when she’s being more of the DOM and I’m being more of the SUB; however, that’s only what I’d consider dirty dialogue, which is hot but is specific. This is something I’ve brought up several times in our relationship and it gets better for a little bit, but then reverts back to old habits.

After reading all of this somebody might ask why am I so concerned, why am I trying to change something about my wife when all other things I’ve talked about point towards being happy with the current conditions? Perhaps what I’m about to say is selfish and that would be because it partially is. When my libido and interest is high I can still get hard with little issue. With how quiet my wife is this causes my mind in the moment to not feel wanted, or that there isn’t a shared mutual pleasure, eventually leading to a disinterest in continuing and I start to go flaccid. The bad thing is, at this point I’ve already gotten in my head and eventually my wife’s because now I’m flaccid and play time has to be extended to get hard again or we end up calling it quits for the session.

Before anybody says I should just communicate with her, I have and I’ve mentioned the same information that I’ve shared above. What I’m looking for is advice to help encourage her to open up, to know that her moans, grunts, and all the noises of sex and sounds of animalistic nature are welcomed and craved. I want to be a better partner that can commit to penetration when we have it, but this ask has seemingly turned into a subconscious requirement of mine to maintain my hardness

I don’t know why people don’t want me

I’m always told I’m beautiful. I am overweight and pretty alternative in style and body mods and shit but I’ve always been told I’m just thick or curvy, and it doesn’t look bad.

I understand from a health point of view I should lose weight, and I try. but every relationship I have ends in them cheating or mistreating me or dumping me or all of the above.

I know this is terribly vain and shallow but for being so complimented and praised on my looks by lots of people, none of them ever seem to stick around let alone do things like take me on dates or spoil me or even be loyal.

it feels like a punch to the gut every time i see women with their partner who’s just absolutely in love with them. buying them things, holding doors open for them, taking them on trips or to concerts, or even just compliments and small favors or kind words.

I don’t know why everyone I’ve fallen in love with never saw me as worth any of that. more than anything I just want to be loved gently and strongly and it just never seems to happen and I don’t know why.

some say it could be the mental health symptoms but I regularly see other women go into hysterics over things I didn’t even know were an issue, and say or do things to their partner I couldn’t imagine not feeling terrible for.

I’m so incredibly lonely

Netizens’ comments

1. Just a guess, but would you identify as being codependent and or overly clingy ? Are you a doormat for these partners you choose? I suggest seeing a therapist to work out what it is that may be hindering you or influencing your choices in a partner.
2. Hey OP! I know someone in a very similar situation. I believe this girl is super gorgeous, smart, and could have anyone she wanted kissing her boots. Not gonna lie, I am a little jealous becuase I can’t pull off the same alt style and commit so hard to the aesthetic (did I mention she is super pretty with and without the heavy eyeliner?)
   Anyways, everytime I hear about this girl she is always in a toxic relationship with some manipulating mid-looking scumbag. She has been going to therapy over an eating disorder and recently decided to switch therapists because she has had some major setbacks on her condition.
   I am not an expert here, but you might also want to surround yourself with “other” people. You know what I mean? Like, maybe build some new circles. This might also be a self-esteem issue. I have seen first-hand how low self-esteem can lead you down some dark alleyways for a crumb of attention. Once you focus on yourself and let go of the idea of being with someone, someone will come by. I don’t know why, it always happens like that.

Best wishes!

My (29F) boyfriend (31M) of 2 years won’t stop talking about his ex who left him in 2014. I reached out to her and she revealed a dark side to him and he still attempts to contact her.

Two years ago, I started dating my boyfriend. We hit it off as he was nice, sweet and we had an instant connection.

A few months into the relationship, we talked about our exes and previous relationships we’ve had. I was married to a man and it didn’t work out and the divorce was amicable. We were just too young and dumb to be married at the time. He spoke about his ex and told me she dumped him for some old rich guy and how she was a cheater, not loyal and left him to be with a stranger instead of him (they were together for a year).

Throughout the course of our relationship, he always mentions her!! Every topic we have somehow turns into a conversation about his ex and how she’s a bad person that would rather sleep around than be with him. He also kept mentioning that she didn’t stay with him when he needed her the most and that she is a vile woman that’s not to be trusted. Yesterday, I got fed up because it was two years of him constantly obsessing over his ex that left him 9 years ago! I then decided to do some good old social media creeping and potentially see what she’s like. After years of talking about her I got way too curious.

I checked out her Facebook and IG. I saw that she’s married, a mom of two with one being a newborn, she has a degree and she’s travelled a lot. Her husband is very handsome, has his own business and they live in a big house. I didn’t see what “vileness” he was talking about. So I added her and messaged her. I introduced myself and asked if she was willing to share some information on her ex, my current boyfriend.

To my surprise, she was nice but I was not expecting what she would say about my boyfriend.

She told me that the year and a half that she was with him was hell on earth. She told me how crazy and possessive he was, isolated her from friends and family, punched holes in her walls, bashed her head onto many things, smashed her phones, belittled her, strangled her, bruised her arms and legs, Cheat on her, Humiliated her publicly, harassed and threaten her family members. She sent me screenshots of his messages and pictures she took of her bruises.

She finally got the courage to leave him thanks to her friends who helped her devise an exit plan. She told me that she would save her money. A few days before, when he was at work, she left.

What’s worse is that in the years he left her, he has not stopped attempting to contact her. She sent me screenshots of him sending nice messages to her then a barrage of hateful messages once she doesn’t respond. He continued sending birthday messages, texting her mom who eventually had to change her number. He also continued to add her on social media and email her apologizing to her and pretending to wanting to be friends with her. This year, behind my back, he sent her birthday messages and how it was nice to see her (impossible because we don’t live in the same place as her). She responded that he needed to stop messaging her because she’s married, a mom and really doesn’t want him around. She sent me all those plus the multiple attempts of him trying to add her on social media.

I have not spoken to him about it yet. But he’s still talking about her a lot. I’m in shock with what I found out about him and even more shocked that he’s still obsessed with her after all these years. From what I saw, she’s a great woman.

Just something I wanted to get off my chest

Currently serving NS and a few days ago, a friend introduced me to gambling and I decided to give it a try for fun.

Was up 2k on the first day, got cocky and lost 8k on the 2nd which was essentially all my savings from NS that I was planning to use for uni.

Promised myself I wouldn’t touch the money but still lost my self control and ended up gambling it all away.

I understand that I only have myself to blame and have decided to never touch gambling again, though the damage has already been done.

Are there any other means of passive income that I could use to slowly earn back the money? Am really at a loss rn . Thanks for reading

Netizens’ comments

1. as hard as it sounds, this will be a painful lesson and there are no shortcuts. you gotta save up again, work and earn more. it takes money to earn money. and stay away from gambling no matter the amount.
2. There is no such thing as passive income without capital. If you lost all your savings then go and work to earn money.
3. Sell tissue, hearsay tissue is good business can earn up to $300/day now
4. That’s a lesson that costs 8k that might save you anywhere between 80-800k in your life if you continue to go down the gambling path.
5. No fast and easy way to get rich. Now you have learned the lesson from gambling. Another one you should avoid are ponzi schemes.
6. Just take this as tuition for learning not to gamble. You are still young so it’s ok to make mistakes like this. Plenty of time to make that money back – at least it’s not a huge amount.