If you’re still married, you got no right to talk about love to another person.

To the married man who die die want to confess and even posted twice about it.

I’ve met a guy like you when I was in my early 20s. He was also my mentor. I was single during that time and didn’t notice the signs or red flags that he was interested in me. We did exactly what you did in your situation. Shared about ourselves. Meet up to talk about work. Having meals alone too.

He also often send me home as he drives and it was on the way. One day he confessed to me that he like me and proclaim he didn’t expect me to do anything about it. He also say his marriage is on the rocks and they will be getting a divorce. I did have a crush on him but not once did I plan to act on it as he is married in my eyes since the first day I knew him.

I foolishly confessed that I like him too and I also do not wish to act on it. He told me he will wait for me to be ready and asked that I wait for him.

We continued this flirty banter for a few more months till I found out he started seeing another female colleague in secret and turned out his wife is expecting a child. Needless to say I was shocked, hurt and embarrassed to be a fool for thinking a married man who can confess to another woman is going to have a solid character with integrity as a human being. Not too long after that, I asked for a transfer as I do not wish to be near him again. It’s been years, he is still married.

I don’t know you but you are not much different from the mentor I met. Your motive for wanting to confess to the lady is weak and fake. You are just looking for a woman to sooth your ego and take care of your sexual/emotional needs without taking any responsibility while still being married. Confessing is opening that door to the start of an affair. You plan to open that door. Don’t try to bluff netizens.

I hope you don’t have children. I will pity them for having you for a father figure.

Attracted to older women.. help??

I’m attracted to older women. I don’t really like girls my age. I’m (23) and im attracted to women (30-50). There’s something about an older woman’s maturity that I’m so attracted to.

They’re wise and I want to learn from them, they’re also so frikin gorgeous and I’d love to make new experiences with them.

There’s just one problem, I’m 23 but I look very young, I have people mistake me for being 16/17. It makes me insecure because I don’t think older women would be very attracted to me.

I was flirting with an older woman a few days ago and all was going well, she was really feeling the conversation.

Nothing ultimately happened because well, She says im little too young for her ( and it doesn’t help that I’m still in school) Older women 30+, would you date a younger man? Would you feel disgusted if a man in her early 20’s asked you out?

Netizens’ comments

Looks like you’re searching for a ‘’cougar’ mate. My best advice for you would be to join apps, communities or whatever that specifically cater to your desire.

Nothing wrong with appreciating and older lady too either.

Previously ive had older partners and always found them to be much more switched on and emotionally more mature.

They tend to know exactly what they are looking for or want and aren’t afraid of communicating it.

Is it just me or are women actually harder to date when they get to their thirties?

The common layman thinking has always been that women are at a disadvantage if they’re single by 30+, due to their fertility diminishing. However from what I observed…this doesnt seem like the case.

Most that I’ve met in that age range actually seem rather content being single. In fact, most of them who are still single by 30+ are usually just single by choice. Of course I’m speaking from SG context.

And I’d assume those that are desperate enough to get a relationship would have done so easily before they turned 30+, right?

It also isnt as hard for women to find relationships compared to men if they’re under 30 y/o, due to their advantage in dating apps and aplenty of options.

Netizens’ comments

1. Probably because at this age group they are comfortable with themselves and know what they want and what are the red flags to them (due to experience). For some ppl it may be easier to date them though.
2. Female in my 30s here. Some of my single friends are actually jaded due to past relationship traumas and have given up on dating and are choosing to focus on other things instead (e.g. pursuing hobbies, travelling, career, buying a home). Some also have difficulty meeting people due to work/family commitments (e.g. caring for elderly parents). For those who are actively looking for a relationship with the intention of settling down, I feel they tend to be more particular as they know what they want in a partner (which is garnered from experience, either personal and/or overheard) compared to say someone in their 20s who may still be dating casually.
3. I guess women in 30s definitely know their worth and they know exactly what they want and what they are looking for in their future partner. Especially if the intention is to settle down, they won’t waste their time in random dating.
4. Should women be easy because they are 30+? Let them live the way they want

How to overcome the problem of my girlfriend’s really tight lady parts.

I’m currently dating this girl and we tried to have intercourse a couple times. problem is, she’s too tight for me. I’m not a particularly gifted guy, I’d say I’m average size if not a bit less.

But when I try to get inside her, I just can’t manage to slip it in even with lubricant. Obviously I use a condom, but I don’t know if that can interfere.

We’ve tried different positions but none worked and I feel pretty bad, not because we can’t do it but because I don’t want her to feel guilty for that.

Since she didn’t have any experiences before me, she can’t really come up with a solution and neither can I, since I’ve never experienced this problem before. What are some ways to overcome this problem?

EDIT: I’m 23 and she’s 21. We do do foreplay and it has no problems. The issue comes exclusively with proper penetration.

Netizens’ comments

1. Try with something small. Just your finger ( singular) first. It should be slow. Then once its in, try moving it back and forth. Make sure nails and well trimmed short and finger is clean.
   Go at her comfortable pace. Ask her to relax her pelvis. Make her comfortable and be patient.
2. She needs to see gynecologist
3. I agree with seeing Gyno. Mainly because… yes you may be able to work yourself in but you just want to make sure you don’t cause any permanent damage. There are some stretches that women do when they are preparing for labor, with olive oil and fingers. Just lightly stretching the opening daily. To prevent tearing. But I’m not sure if that would apply here or not. Really better to talk to a professional.
4. Second that she needs to see her gyn. She may have vaginismus.

Me (M30) and my GF (F29) are very much in love and happy together. She doesn’t get tired of expressing how happy and satisfied she is, in general and in the bedroom.

In fact, she has told me multiple times that she has never had this many and intense sessions in her life before.

Now while I don’t doubt her statements at all, it is also true that only once did she come from actual PIV-penetration, the rest were all oral or by hand.

Of course, I love making her come in any way, but it is something I have noticed.

The other thing is that whenever she is really in heat during intercourse she almost aggressively starts pulling me ‘deeper’ inside of her.

As if I’m not penetrating her deep enough for her needs. But let me also say that she has never complained or made any negative remarks about my performance or my size.

Again, she keeps telling me how amazing it is for her.

Still, there is this lingering feeling, resulting from the lack of climax through PIV and more importantly the aggressive pulling, that I am not big enough for her (I am about 15 cm).

Do you think I am onto something here? Should I address it because in the long term it will just leave her desiring bigger and becoming unsatisfied?

Or am I just being insecure about my size like many men for no reason? As I said in the beginning I’m very much in love with her and I just want the best for her – so this thought does keep nagging me in the back of my head.

Thank you

Netizens’ comments

“Or am I just being insecure about my size like many men for no reason?”

Without meaning to make you feel bad: yes, that is exactly what you’re doing.

Most women don’t come from PiV. Whether they do or don’t has little to nothing to do with size.

She wants you deeper because it feels good. it’s not that you’re not “deep enough” — she could be taking in a monster c- and she’d pull him deeper too. It feels good. It’s nice to pull someone closer. It’s a mental and emotional thing as much as anything else.

Your size is above average, the average size is about 11 to 13 cm.

The most important thing is to take her word for it. If she’s more than satisfied, and she’s telling you this explicitly, that’s what I’d take at face value.

Strange men waiting outside ION B1 Toilet

Has anyone realised there is an influx of men outside of the Men’s toilet at B1 waiting to follow other guys in?

At times after work I’ll be walking around Orchard specifically near Wisma and ION to eat/window shop and then I tend to go the Men’s toilet at B1 right before making my way to brown line Orchard MRT

and I get followed by strange men. Sometimes they’ll follow me to the urinals and use the ones near me.

The strangest thing is that they’ll leave the toilets first then come back just to look at anyone who’s attractive before they leave. This has happened to me quite a few times these past two weeks, with different guys following me in.

Anyone knows why? Is there like a secret thing going specifically at that toilet level?

Netizens’ comments

1. trying to say you’re attractive but not trying to say you’re attractive
2. Congrats for being attractive to… weird guys
3. Didn’t think there was so much cottaging in Singapore, maybe can report to the security desk there next time
4. Are you waiting us to praise you because you are attractive?
5. I think it has something to do with your username (rainbowbutt9000)
6. That why i go pee inside the toilet urinal.
7. Wah you learn something new everyday

My bf (M35) of one year suggested he take me (F32) for a Brazilian wax as a ‘date’ idea. How do I tell him he made me feel uncomfortable?

Background: I asked my bf if we could start going on more dates together. Over the past months, I’ve felt like he’s stopped planning anything for us. I can’t remember the last time we went out for dinner or he surprised me. Things have been feeling stagnant.

So I suggested things like a painting or cooking class, spa day etc. He seemed uninterested in what I was saying and said he can’t really afford any of those options. I do understand that as he’s a full time student atm. But then he suggested he take me to get a wax (Brazilian).

At first I laughed it off and said ‘when you do!’. But I was genuinely upset at the comment. He later told me he was ‘just joking’. (For context, I do trim a couple of times a week).

Now he’s been annoyed and standoffish since I brought the date ideas up. He said he doesn’t like being told what to do, that things should happen “organically” and he feels he’s not enough.

I’ve tried to explain this is my love language and the dates don’t have to be expensive. He responded that he took me for “burgers” 3 months ago and that was him making an effort.

I feel uncomfortable that he commented on my body like this. I feel like I’m asking too much of him. How do I get him to understand that I value and need quality time in a relationship?

Netizens’ comments

1. I don’t see the point in dating someone who refuses to go on dates with you.
2. When you find a BETTER boyfriend, you’ll be kicking yourself for months that you wasted this much time with this POS!
   The only thing you should be ripping out by the roots is this relationship! You can find a guy who’s interested in life, in events, in experiences. It ain’t this guy!
3. So he refuses to go on dates with you but then plans a painful one that implies he doesn’t like your lady bits as they are, to enhance his own experience in bed? Then he turns it around and tries to guilt you by saying he doesn’t feel like he’s enough?
   What kind of garbage is this? Maybe he isn’t enough.

Getting married was the biggest mistake of my life.

Today is Valentine’s Day and, like always, my wife has been teasing me that we can finally get intimate (been three months since we last been together) and here I am laying in bed and she’s nowhere to be found.

I’m so tired of this. I’m so lost and unfulfilled. We have been together for 12 years and she never hugs or kisses me. I’m always initiating, I caught her looking up old flames on Facebook. I don’t feel like her husband.

Her excuse has always been: “I’m not the affectionate type”, and this is true. She’s not affectionate at all. It’s her personality and I’ve accepted it for the last 10 years, but when our first child was born, she’s been the most affectionate person I’ve ever met.

I love that she is caring for our baby, for the last two years she’s been a great mother.

But I’ve asked her for some of that love and she ignores me. This has been 12 years, and today she finally broke me. I’m going to get a divorce.

Netizens’ comments

1. Unrequited romantic love hurts like a motherf. Happy that you are able to make a change even though it’s a difficult one to make.
2. She’s not attracted to you. And probably hasn’t been for a long time. You will find many people will stay in a relationship because of fear of the unknown. She doesn’t love you the way you love her. Make the hard choice and end things.
3. Best to get out of an unloved marriage, before you waste your entire life being ignored.
4. I dated a girl that was like this as I’m a very loving and touching person. Towards the end our relationship she tried everyday, but at that point it was too late. I’m glad I cut it off because ultimately I know what I want and she can’t provide me with that.
5. I’m glad you notice how toxic she is and are doing something about it. I hope you find someone who can love you and care for you!!
6. It sounds like you settled. You shouldn’t have married and had a kid with her in the first place. Now you’re stuck in a loveless marriage and your wife makes your child her top priority while you get nothing.
   It wouldn’t be hard for her to make you and your kid priorities equally but for some reason she chooses to ignore your needs/wants entirely.
   No wonder so many couples with kids eventually divorce. You give and give and get nothing back. It isn’t a happy relationship/marriage and your wife is being disrespectful and neglectful. Getting a divorce will be better for everyone involved, especially you.
   You deserve so much better. I know too many friends and family members in similar marriages. Many of them settled for their spouses and now that they have kids they’re miserable and treat each other horribly but still stay together for some stupid reason. It’s so sad to see.

I want to see my mother for Valentine’s Day, but my fiancé said “no”

Basically, my mom was supposed to get a cochlear implant surgery tomorrow and it was denied by insurance. I feel really bad.

I haven’t see her in three weeks and I wanted to just spend time with her (my fiancé took me to dinner on Saturday for our anniversary), he’s quite upset that I want to see her, I understand he’s upset but is it wrong off me to spend time with my mom? Or are his feelings more justified?

Edit: he is not a controlling person and a perfect fiancé other than this. She is mentally manipulative towards me and that could be why however that’s still my mother and I want to be there for her in sadness, it’s a complicated relationship.

Edit. X2: I bought flowers for my mom, and dropped them off. I only saw her for 45 mins! She was happy about that

Fiancé tried calling me multiple times, eventually texted. Said that he didn’t want me to spend all day with her because of how I get but he was so busy with work, we couldn’t have a full brown conversation about it, right then and there. He also said that I argued with myself today and was upset for no reason. He got me flowers too!

Netizens’ comments

• Info: why doesn’t he want you to go see your mom? Also, why haven’t you seen her in three weeks if she lives so close? Also, why doesn’t your fiancé come see your mom with you?
• It sounds like he feels like she’s going to hijack what is supposed to be a good day and make it suck. I’d side with him if he’s so good to you, he must have both of your best interests in mind, here.
• I kind of feel for your fiance. You had three weeks to visit her,but instead chose a holiday dedicated to partners. An implant is a low risk surgery, you can go with her to the hospital tomorrow, and be her designated driver. It does concern me that your fiance said no and not a let’s discuss this. 
• Why did you wantt to make your fiancé look like he’s controlling when he only wants to protect you lol