How do you politely reject someone who has romantic feelings for you?

There’s a colleague of mine whom I think is interested in me but I only see him as a friend.

Even though we don’t stay near each other, he’ll always find some excuse to give me a lift to work. Sometimes, he’ll even buy breakfast for me to eat on the ride to office.

It doesn’t feel like he’s just being friendly because I don’t see him doing this for any other person in the office. My other colleagues tried to matchmake him with this lady from another department once and he told them very directly to stop doing that as he already has a girlfriend.

I’m very scared that the ‘girlfriend’ he’s referring to is me but I don’t know how to ask him about it without sounding obnoxious and rude. I’m also scared that if I suddenly stop talking to him, he’ll turn nasty like those obsessive psychopaths on the news.

What should I do?

Here are what netizens think:

• Stop taking him for a ride lor…I mean stop taking rides from him

• agree! It takes two hands to clap.

• Stop seeing him outside of work la, he want say what let him say the mouth on his face not on your one.

• You obviously enjoy the attention and you are not different from a KTV girl.

• This girl power leh, the skin more thick than alligator.

Every year, I would eagerly accept the pocket money from my gf’s parents and relatives during the Chinese New Year, never really thinking about the long-term consequences of my actions.

But now, as the date of our wedding draws nearer, I can’t help but feel a sense of panic.

I know that when I marry my girlfriend, I will be expected to give her family red packets of equal or greater value, as is customary in Chinese culture.

This thought fills me with a sense of dread, as I know all too well that I have been gathering far more red packets from them than I can ever give back.

It’s not that I’m stingy but I don’t earn that much.

Over the years, they have given me so much ang bao during the CNY period and in a way indirectly telling me that when I marry my gf, I need to give back more.

I’m sure they understand that I don’t earn much, but I’m still scared that they will expect me to give back more than I can.

I’m not sure what I should do. I know that I need to start saving up so that I can give them back when the time comes, but I’m not sure if that will be enough.

I don’t want to disappoint my future in-laws, but at the same time, I’m afraid of not being able to give back enough.

My experience with car dealers has been a nightmare.

As a young man with no prior experience in buying a car, I was taken advantage of and conned out of nearly a thousand more than what I should pay for.

I thought I was ready to make the big purchase.

I had done my research, spoken with friends and family, and figured I had everything I needed in order to make a wise decision.

Little did I know that the dealers had a different plan.

The first thing I noticed was that the dealers didn’t seem to care about what I wanted.

They asked a few questions about the type of car I was looking for and then proceeded to show me cars that didn’t match what I was looking for.

It quickly became apparent that the dealers were just trying to make a sale and didn’t really care about what I wanted or what kind of car was best for me.

Then came the negotiation. The dealer started by offering me a price for the car that was way too high.

When I asked for a lower price, they said they could lower it, but I would have to pay extra for various extras like a warranty, extended service, and so on.

I was shocked to find out that these things were not included in the price they had originally quoted me.

The worst part was when I found out that some of the extras they were trying to charge me for were actually free.

I asked the dealer why they were trying to charge me for something that was free and they said it was just part of the deal.

I knew that they were trying to con me out of money and I refused to pay for something that was free.

Needless to say, I walked away from the car dealership feeling scammed and conned.

I realized that most car dealers, especially those not from the main car company mostly have dubious characters and that they always try to con you into paying for things that are free.

I learned the hard way that it’s important to do your research and know what you’re getting into before you buy a car.

It’s been a few months since my experience with the car dealers and I’m still feeling the effects.

I’m out almost a thousand and I’m more wary of car dealers than ever before.

I would never want anyone else to go through what I did, so I would like to warn others to be careful when dealing with car dealers and to always double check that you are not being charged for something that is free.

Wife(29F) has been cheating on me (26M) and is planning on taking everything

Posting on here as I don’t know where else to turn to for advice.

Hello, I just discovered my wife of 4 years been cheating on me for months with another man. I came back home from work one day to hear her talking with another man on the phone, she tried to claim he was just a friend but I knew better.

I looked through her phone to find out the worst- she was cheating on me and had been for months.

In their messages, she said she plans to leave me and take everything. She said she would claim I’d been emotionally absent and cruel and take everything I have.

Please, any advice for divorce proceedings would be great, I’m just so upset and confused about everything right now.

Netizens’ comments

• If you can get her phone – screenshot EVERYTHING that proves your innocence. Have it for your lawyer.
• Before you divorce her.. record what you found, especially her messages about taking everything – it would work in your favour
  Record or take title of assets in your name, keep it and record it all.
  Change all your bank account passwords and signatures
  Get your wife’s off all of your insurance plans
  Save ALL your bank statements (especially those in the joint account) if she used the account to buy AP gifts… you mgiht claim it back from her
• So are you going to ask her about it? Make sure to record her reaction because she might perform a monolog about her plans.
• Withdraw your cash, block her from your bank accounts and credit cards etc. Cancel insurance, change your will etc. copy and save all evidence and see a lawyer urgently. If you can record her conversation, all the better. Protect your self.

My husband says work is easier for me because I’m pretty…..

So just as the title states I work in a manufacturing company as one of the managers. Part of my job is to create reports to the higher ups and often times in front of big groups of the team.

Point being I’m always asking my co workers if my presentation is OK. Basically if I’m doing a good job or not because often times my reports are “scolding them” and calling out their defects but in reality, it’s only to make them a stronger, better team, and figure out where our problems are.

I never want to come across as an a-hole but I am stern when it comes to serious matters.

So far (I started almost a year ago) my team and boss tell me I’m doing a good job which makes me feel good, especially when I feel insecure about my work. (My insecurities are separate point lol)

anyways when I do a pat on the back and I know I worked really hard to get my job done I tell my husband of my moment. He tells me I’m doing good and all but he often likes to add that it’s easier for me because I’m pretty.

I don’t like it when he tells me that because I feel like he’s undermining my work and all the effort I’m putting into it.

I don’t think looks play any role into what I’m doing aside from maybe being able to small talk easier? My looks don’t generate my reports or lead a meeting it’s my presentation and how I handled the situation I would say.

I almost feel this post sounds stuck up but he insists that he’s correct and not wrong about this, i

I am 29 years old but i feel like a teenager

Like I’m still a boy. My peers already have families. They have a wife or child or children .

When I meet classmates from school, 60% of them already have children or are already married. I feel like a boy. Like forever teenager.

I don’t even want or feel like a relationship or family right now, and I don’t mind it at all. I just find it strange that most people follow this established cycle and way of life.

I feel like I have Peter Pan syndrome and haven’t grown up. But I’m happy that I’m single and I don’t want to imagine that I would have the same situation and now have a family or a wife or kids. Freedom is a gift.

Moreover, when I see my friends and classmates from school or childhood who already have families and these family “obligations”, it seems to me and they behave as if they have lost their energy and the desire to fool around and enjoy life lije they enjoyed before.

I have fun drinking beer with my remaining single friends and go clubs and parties, and loving life being single with no responsibilities.

I feel like I am from a different type of cloud than anyone else. I really can’t understand those normal traditional ways of living a life in this society.

When will I meet with my childhood friends or classmates or someone from my family. When someone at my age already has children, they looking at me strangely that I don’t have a child or a family yet. What is going on with everyone? Does everyone really have to live according to the trend of civilized society?

Netizens’ comments

Mate, you do you. If you don’t wanna have a family or children, at least not at the moment or in the near future, that is your choice and completely okay. Not everyone needs to live the same lives or lifestyle and as long as you feel fine and are happy with that, that is completely fine. Don’t let others tell you or influence you in what you should do with your life. Because after all, it’s your life. And I don’t think it has anything to do with immaturity.

There are a lot of people who don’t want a family or children or generally a traditional lifestyle. I’m not 29, but 23. My partner and I don’t have any feelings about marriage, so maybe one day, maybe not, whatever, we don’t care that much about it. Children are out of question, since I do not like children and can’t imagine ever having own.

Also, with the mental health of my partner and also her reproductive system disease, she doesn’t want (and probably can not have anyway due to the medical issue) any. We also are generally living a pretty different lifestyle than most people our age, so I definitely feel you and understand about the weird looks and that you are getting.

It took a long time for me personally to learn to deal with “being the alien”, but I think that is still way better than living a lifestyle that you are unhappy with. Anyway, like I said, it’s your life. You do you. And if any of your friends judge you for that, they are not real friends.

Evicting my mom from my house.

I made enough money to buy my own home. Despite this, I am not rich, but for once I am not worried about my bills.

My mom has always been poor (as such, I grew up in it) because she is bad with money. She wanted out of her living situation with 3 roommates, so I decided to rent her one of my rooms.

I made it clear that this was a normal rental tenant situation, she wouldn’t get a deal or whatever, because I need the rent money to make the rest of my finances work.

I should have known, her budgeting habits did not change and she fell behind on her rent. After the third consecutive month of paying nothing, I sent her an eviction notice.

I have 5 brothers, they’ve all shunned me. All of my aunt and uncles do nothing but talk crap about me and make spread lies about me.

My mom treats me like I have no heart. I am an outcast in my family because “I only love money.”

Did I handle this wrong?

Netizens’ comments

• You are an idiot for renting to your mother fully knowing she can’t budget money and knowing you would be in this situation. Family and money don’t mix.
• Quick question. Which of the family members judging you is offering a house for her to live in for free?
• It’s always risky to do business with relatives.
• She has 5 other sons to house her along with siblings. they could have helped her with the rent so you did not have to cover it alone. She will not be homeless if she has them.
• Let’s be realistic, how many of those brothers of yours are offering to let her stay at their place for free?
• You made the expectations clear. She did not follow the rules. If your 5 brothers are so mad about it, where were they to help your mom pay the rent then?

How to continue feeling positive in finding a partner?

Hi guys, sorry for another relationship post but I felt that it would be good to have some local perspective. I’m a 33F. Ever since my last relationship ended 2.5 years ago, I took some time to heal and started actively dating 1.5 year back.

I’ve been on so many first dates that I’ve lost count but mainly there were 3 guys whom I dated for slightly longer (not at the same time). The rest of the dates don’t go beyond the first or second date, either due to me or the other party.

A bit more info on the 3 guys – all are around my age or late 30s. First guy we dated for 4 months before he ended things due to him not feeling he was at a stage where he can commit, we are now friends.

Second guy I checked in at the 2 months mark, he was the “work hard play hard” type and didn’t want to commit. We dated casually for a few more months before a mutual fade.

Third guy I checked in at the start that we were both seeking a serious relationship. We dated for 2 months and he just sent me a rejection text of “not feeling excited” about things right before our date for the weekend which he asked me on 🙁

Sorry for the wordy post. My point is, I’m really starting to wonder if there’s something wrong with me. My friends can’t pinpoint anything.

I’m a single mom and I understand that is a deal breaker for most so it’s stated clearly on my profile. My child is 14 and relatively independent, so I do have more time to date as compared to the past.

There’s no drama (ex not in the picture) and I am clear that my partner isn’t required to fill in any role. I have a decent job, stable finances, healthy social life and am driven in self-improvement.

In terms of appearance, I’m petite, not overweight and probably around a 7 out of 10? I always have people tell me they can’t believe I’m single but the reality is its been really tough and I’m at a complete loss here. Any advice?

My dying friend wants me to hook up with him before he passes.

There is a lot to unpack here, but basically my terminally ill friend told me he wants to sleep with me as a dying wish.

As if this isn’t already an extremely bizarre situation, there are a number of factors that complicate things even more.

For starters, he has a girlfriend. They’ve been together since young. I’ve been friends with the guy for about 3 years and he always confided in me about their problems and their relationship isn’t exactly stable. I don’t really know her that well but from what I’ve gathered from mutual friends she’s not very pleasant.

This of course isn’t an excuse or even relevant, as I can’t even imagine what she must be going through since her lifelong boyfriend only has a few months left. I now realize as I’m typing this im just trying to find a way to justify doing it but there really isn’t.

Secondly, I’m a virgin. So even if this guy was single and in great health, it would probably suck for the both of us lol. Don’t get me wrong, the guy is attractive. I’ve had a small crush on him since we met and he recently admitted he liked me too, which is why he asked I’m assuming, but i cant imagine it going well for the first (and well, last) time.

And lastly, well he’s dying. And he’s my friend. I don’t even want to imagine how this would affect me after he’s gone.

To be clear, I know this is an absolute no-go. I’m not considering pity-banging my close friend, this was just a lot to process and needed to get this off my chest.

I’ll miss you a lot.