I am exhausted but I need to hold on

Hi everyone, this is a mini rant. I am utterly exhausted.

I have 2 jobs currently. A full time: Monday-Friday 8-5. A part time job: M,W,F (6pm-10pm) Weekends (2pm-10pm)

I started the second job last week and I’m already extremely exhausted. The extra income is going straight to my debts which will be wonderful to finally pay off and start saving for school but it’s only week 2 and I feel like quitting.

But if I can just hold on for six months (end of July, Early August) I’ll be all paid up and able to start saving some money for school.

Any tips for balancing 2 jobs? I feel like I’m losing my mental and definitely regaining weight as I have no time or energy to cook at home.

Netizens’ comments

• Buy a calendar, mark off each day visibly.
  Every single pay day when you pay off some of your debt, mark how much your total is and what your new total is. Give yourself a visual aid to see your progress every day and remind yourself that there is an end in sight.
  It sounds like your Tuesdays and Thursdays are basically your weekend simply because you don’t work your second job those days. Every week alternate between which Tuesday or Thursday you’re going to take yourself out to dinner. It is your reward for all of this grinding you are doing right now. Mark ‘dinner night’ on your calendar, too. Not fast food, not just something you’re grabbing for fuel but an actual sit-down dinner where you treat yourself. More motivation.
  Sleep in on Saturdays and Sundays and do it without guilt before you have to go to work in the afternoons. After work on MWF try to get some walking in. Nothing extreme, just 15 minutes total to get your blood flowing a little before you go down for the night. This is to keep you healthy and stave off weight loss.
• Hi, I am in the same boat, I work 2 jobs at the moment to pay off debt, also have a 6 month goal. I was able to put half of January’s goal amount into the debt already, and that helped my mindset tremendously, but it is exhausting. 6 months is short – they will fly by- you got this.

My mom cheated on my dad and he’s still being so nice to her, it breaks my heart

November 2021 we found out that my mom’s been cheating on my dad since 2018. What makes it worse is she’s gone through multiple men, so it wasn’t even love.

I feel terrible. Since the knowledge, my dad has changed immensely because my mom blamed him for it.

He’s a much better dad now, a much better husband too. But my mom’s still acting suspicious. She still hides her chats, her socials and what what not.

She hasn’t been trying to gain his trust back or anything. And he’s still trying. What’s worse is that his username on most of his social media handles is his name followed by my mom’s name as his surname.

And seeing him love her so much breaks my heart because he’s such a good man. I hate hating my mom, because she’s my mom.

But I hate how she’s treating my dad. She’s literally using my dad for his money. I wish my dad would just file for a divorce and stop feeling this way

When I was little, I used to enjoy CNY because that meant a fun half-day in school where we could dress up (and impress my crush lol) and a few days of PH afterwards. I also enjoyed collecting angbaos, travelling across the island to visit places and playing with my cousins.

But when I grew up, those changed.

I started dreading CNY – or no, in fact, I started hating CNY.

As an adult, the few days of PH means I have to squeeze in the same amount of work into lesser days in a week. CNY now also means a barrage of insensitive and overly personal questions from people who clearly don’t care about your wellbeing and are only asking to compare salaries, boast about how impressive their romantic partners are or heck, use it as an excuse to impose their values on you and douse unsolicited advice in a noble attempt to impart their wisdom onto you.

While I’m unmarried and am still eligible to collect angbaos (I’m in my mid-20s), I’ve stopped loving this aspect of CNY because I’ve realised that my parents give significantly more $ in their angbaos than I’ve ever received. Financially we’re doing slightly better than our extended families, but increasingly it just feels like we’re being exploited for our generosity because our extended families generally expect us to pay for more expensive things during the potluck CNY dinners (e.g. we sponsor the abalones and seafood while others turn up with food like cabbage or mushrooms lol). This exploitation is also evident in how we’re expected to sponsor the location (e.g. chalet or even MBS hotel fml) whenever we have our annual family staycation – but this is a story for another day.

When I was a child, this didn’t seem like a problem to me since we’re fAmiLY afTeRaLL, and family is meant to be considerate to each other. But as an adult who knows how difficult it is to earn money, I feel for my parents and simply hate their behaviour. We’re not that rich anyway – we’re middle class, live in a HDB, and drive one second-hand car from a very ordinary brand – all of which my extended families are able to afford too lol.

So, TLDR, I find myself increasingly hating CNY because

• PH barely means anything anymore
• The barrage of questions and endless comparison
• Deep-seated resentment from feeling like my extended family is exploiting us

As the dreadful weekend approaches, I’m looking for people to commiserate with me.

Why do you hate CNY too?

Annoying colleagues you’re sure to find in a Singaporean office?

I’ve worked in different countries before but I Singaporean colleagues are by far the best AND the worst.

FWIW, Singaporeans are hardworking and efficient. But damn some are annoying asf.

I have a colleague sitting next to me that won’t stop singing and humming. It’s driving me up the wall. Cb all day he’s humming and singing. open excel sheet also must sing????

I was talking to another colleague about it over lunch and they shared some of their annoying colleague experience too. Have you guys got any to share?

Netizens’ comments

1. Selfish. I got 2 colleagues with similar annoying traits. They are always asking help from people but don’t realise that others also have work to do, we are not paid to help them. Kena 1 colleague like this is already bad enough, we got 2.
2. Bro it’s not just Singaporean offices… you have not experienced a Japanese coworker eating natto or stinky fish in a nearby cubicle. Or better yet, they use the only microwave in the office to heat up said stinky fish (and they made sure to use the microwave first at lunchtime).
3. I cannot stand colleagues who treat the workplace like their home. Leave their shit lying around, don’t know how to clean up after themselves, shared desk cupboard space is used to store their crap which they never ever get rid off. And when you tell them to clear their stuff, it basically gets moved from point A to point B.
4. Here’s the few I’ve experienced:

The “No concept of personal space” Person

• This person is the one always cutting their nails, digging their nose. Their barang-barang always spilling off the table into other’s space, or their feet extend past their table into others’. Use the office microwave to heat up their stinky food, or leave their smelly gym gear out in the open for all to smell.

The Gossipmonger

• This person always in everyone’s business. Will ask you 1 million questions about your personal life, everything from your PSLE score to your dating life. Then will proceed to tell everyone else about it, or gossip with others. If it’s an older person, usually it’s an aunty who does it to judge everything everyone does. If younger, then it’s someone overly-competitive and wants to compare.

The Cheapskate

• This person always pattern the same, go for lunch forgot wallet, alamak never draw money, bro can help me pay first? I pass you back later. But good luck seeing that money come back. If you call them out, be prepared to be called greedy or hear “wah $5 also cannot lend”. This type of person, also very commonly likes to pass comments on others. Wow, XX person went for holiday, she must be making $$$. Wah, today you order salad, expensive hor?

Honestly, these are just the major ones. There are probably a million more stereotypes I can come up with. But generally, when you spend every day with the same people, these little annoyances are bound to crop up.

It was one of those moments when I realized I had outgrown my relationship.

I had been with my boyfriend for a year, and when it was time for our first holiday, I had fully expected us to fly business class like how I always did.

I was brought up with the belief that you should always travel in style, and I had been flying business class since I was a child.

It was something I had grown up with, and I didn’t think twice about it.

But my boyfriend, on the other hand, was from a more humble background and had never been able to afford to fly in such luxury.

When the tickets were booked, I was shocked to see that he had only booked us economy class. I felt a wave of disappointment wash over me.

I had always expected that he would be able to provide me with the standard of travel I was used to, and this was a huge let down.

I tried to be understanding. He had worked hard to pay for our trip and he had done his best to make sure we could still go away.

But I couldn’t help feeling a little bit resentful. I was being asked to make a huge compromise, and it just didn’t feel right.

The flight was a long one, and by the time we landed I had made up my mind. It was time to end the relationship.

I think I deserve better, and I was no longer willing to settle for anything less than the best.

Call me pampered or whatever you want, but it was the right choice for me.

I knew that I deserved to be treated with the same level of respect and luxury I had been used to all my life.

It was time for me to find someone who could provide that for me.

Is 30 a high body count ? (27m)

Been active with women since 19yo

One night as me and my friends were playing truth or dare and a guy took the play as the truth being asked “ what is your body count” and it continue the topic

Among the 5 friends, the highest body count is 12 and the lowest is 3, but when is my turn to tell the truth. It shocked them. ( 30 )

From their reaction. It had made me feel uncomfortable.

Making me feel like I’m a “dirty person”.

After doing some calculation. I only slept with 3-4 diff girls in a year average.

Wandering this thought had made me realised that I am just human. I still crave for love and attention. I desire something more than just physical intimacy but at the same time afraid to commit due to past relationship trauma.

Netizens’ comments

• It’s a bit subjective really, it’s high for some and not for others depending on their own perspective.
  The main issue is only that it might indicate to some people that you have a different perspective or value for it than they do, so it might put some people off or others may not care at all, again, it’s about different attitudes and perspectives.
• Depends on who you ask. Some girls will be turned off and some girls won’t. You just gotta find the ones that don’t care.
• I’m 29F, and as long as my boyfriend is STD free and capable of being 100% faithful to me, I couldnt care less about the life he had before he met me.
• Flip the table, would you consider it high from whoever you slept with if they told you that was their number?