It was a typical night out with my boyfriend.

We had been dating for several months and were comfortable with each other. We were having a great time and were getting a little frisky. I had heard about a new S act that was said to be pleasurable for both parties involved and thought I’d give it a try.

I suggested it to my boyfriend, who was more than willing to try it out.

We started out with some foreplay, as usual. We were both enjoying ourselves and were getting pretty aroused. Then, I had the idea to take it a step further. I thought of a new way to give him pleasure. I suggested that I stick my finger up his behind. I was a little hesitant at first, but he was open to the idea.

So, I slowly inserted my finger up his butt. I was sure to go slowly, as I didn’t want to cause any discomfort or pain. I was careful not to go too deep, but I was still quite far up. I was expecting him to enjoy it, as it was said to be pleasurable.

However, to my surprise, he screamed in pain. I had gone too deep and too fast, and he was not enjoying it at all. I quickly pulled my finger out and apologized for hurting him. He was not pleased and was quite angry with me.

I felt terrible for causing him pain.

I thought I was being careful and that he would enjoy it, but clearly, I was wrong. I was embarrassed and ashamed of myself for making such a mistake. I apologized profusely and he eventually calmed down.

In the end, we both learned an important lesson. I learned that it’s important to always go slow and be careful when trying something new with someone, especially when it involves sticking a finger up their butt. My boyfriend learned that it’s okay to say no if something doesn’t feel right.

This experience was a huge wake up call for me. I now know that I need to be more careful when experimenting in the bedroom. I know that it’s important to go slow and to always pay attention to my partner’s reactions. If they are not enjoying something, I need to stop immediately and apologize.

Concerned about personal reputation because of job

Am in a job which pays well but is constantly putting me under pressure to perform actions I’m uncomfortable with.

Nothing illegal or wrong, just actions that require me to be the bad guy to protect my organisation and team’s interest.

Have just found out that I made quite a number of “enemies” along the way in the industry and am concerned about the potential repercussions it has on my future career prospects.

It also has left me with constant anxiety about constantly having to front so many of these things.

Not sure if its something that others have experienced before.

Netizens’ comments

• Somehow I feel that I get how you feel with a similar work role. But if your peers are mature enough they may just see it as business. But I think it’s good to look for friendship outside of your immediate peers
• Its work, don’t take it personally. I never got along with my boss, argued, but at the end she gave me a promotion for the work I delivered.
• From a different perspective you’re a good employee for the organisation and able to do the assigned work well no? A good prospective boss should be able to recognise that.
• if ppl see you as enemy then they are being unprofessional. you’re just doing your work. i have to be a bitch often to protect my team but outside work, i can be friends with ppl.
• May not be worth the money in the long run especially if your industry is small and has its own network and you intend to stay in it. And what do you think your boss will say if your next employer asks him for a reference check on you.

My wife (Anna) lost both her parents when she was young and after that was raised by her maternal grandparents until she went to uni. Anna was an only child and her parents didn’t have siblings either. None of her grandparents are living at this point either.

We’ve been married 3 years and she rarely talks about her family. I on the other hand have a huge family with 16 nieces and nephews. Naturally, we spend all holidays, birthdays, and celebrations with my family. Which works great as they all love Anna, and she loves them back.

Recently we had dinner with another couple we’re close to, Kyle and Lisa (not their real names). They were talking about how deciding who’s family to see and when is such a challenge and no matter who they spend time with they feel like the other family constantly guilt trips them.

The conversation was definitely bringing the mood down as Kyle and Lisa both looked stressed. I thought I’d try to lighten the mood a bit and said they should have just done like me and marry someone who’s parents and grandparents are all dead so there’s never any argument over who to visit.

I was trying to make a dumb joke to make everyone smile but it backfired. Kyle kind of got it and said, good tip I’ll keep that in mind for next time.

Anna practically ran out of the restaurant, Lisa followed Anna and called me and Kyle both a-holes as she left. Lisa also later texted us both she’s staying at the house with Anna for the night and suggested I either sleep on the sofa at her and Kyle’s place or get a hotel for a few days.

I wasn’t trying to offend anyone or upset Anna, my intent was to lighten up a tense atmosphere and give everyone a laugh. Now, Anna won’t speak to me or respond to my texts, Lisa is the most pissed off I’ve ever seen her, and Kyle is the only one who sees any humor in my joke but still wants me to apologize to Anna and find a way to make it up to her.

 It was only three days ago that I thought I had found the man of my dreams – he was handsome, funny, and had a great career.

We had only been dating for a few weeks, but already I felt like I had known him for years. Little did I know that a few days later, I would be breaking up with him.

It all started on a regular night out with my friends. We were at a bar, having a good time and catching up on the latest news. We had been there for a while when my date walked in. He was even more handsome than I remembered and I was instantly smitten.

We spent the night talking, laughing, and dancing. It was the perfect night, and I couldn’t help but think that this was the start of something special. When it came time to leave, he asked me to come over to his place. I agreed, and we made plans for later that night.

I had never been to his apartment before, so I was a bit nervous. When I arrived, he greeted me with a hug and showed me around. We had a few drinks and then moved to the bedroom.

What happened next was the worst experience of my life. After a few minutes of foreplay, he was finished. I couldn’t believe it – he had only lasted for three minutes. I was embarrassed and felt like a fool.

I tried to brush it off and tell myself it was no big deal, but the more I thought about it, the more I felt like I had been taken advantage of. I knew I had to end things with him, but I was scared of what he would say.

When I finally mustered up the courage to break it off, he was surprisingly understanding. He apologized and said he was embarrassed too. We hugged and said our goodbyes.

Breaking up with him was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do, but I knew it was the right thing to do. I was tired of feeling like I was the only one putting effort into the relationship, and I deserved more than three minutes of pleasure.

Since then, I’ve been reflecting on the situation and learning from it. I’ve realized that I need to set better boundaries in my relationships and not settle for anything less than I deserve. I’ve also learned that communication is key – if something isn’t working, it’s better to talk it out than to just suffer in silence.

Breaking up with my date after only three days was a difficult decision, but it was the right one. I’m glad I had the strength to stand up for myself, and I’m confident that I’ll be able to find someone who will treat me the way I deserve.

Trying to decline a verbally accepted job offer

I verbally accepted a job offer and received the offer letter. Now that I haven’t signed it and I wish to withdraw. Do I have the right to do so?

The recruiter keeps saying that she might lose trust of the client company. However, I am pretty sure that I have every right to do so. What should I do?

Netizens’ comments

• You have not signed the offer letter, what can they do to you? Force you to work? The recruiter is just annoyed that she won’t be able to earn commission from you. You have every right to reject the offer letter. Just tell them nicely in an email that you wish to decline the job offer and of course thank them for their time.
• Just say that you’re no longer interested in the position. Doesn’t matter because you didn’t sign anything. She can’t do anything about it.
• Bad form but not illegal. Just be wary of getting blackmarked.
• I believe that even if you signed on directly with the company you still have the right to decline it when no contract has been signed
• Just say no. Don’t worry about burning bridges. In the past these HH have a network and spread shit. Nowadays these HH have no real network and only relied on LinkedIn. So it doesn’t affect your chance if one HH bears a grudge.
• Never use a recruiter, they are only beneficial for employers that want to prevent you from being able to apply the contract of service under employment act under a specifically written clause where you need to pay if you don’t attend the first day .
  “If an employee does not show up on the first day of work, the Employment Act does not apply as the employer-employee relationship has not started.
  An employer will not be able to claim notice pay or any other compensation provided for in the Employment Act. They can consider a civil claim filed through their own lawyer.”

I was just 17 years old when my life fell apart. It all started with my first boyfriend. He was my age, and we had been dating for a few months.

I thought he was the one, but I was wrong. He got me pregnant twice and I had to get abortions both times. It was a difficult and painful experience, but I thought it was all worth it for love.

My second boyfriend was 9 years older than me. I thought he would be more mature and responsible, but he ended up being just as bad as my first boyfriend. He was controlling and manipulative, and I couldn’t get away from him fast enough.

My third boyfriend was only 5 years older than me, but he was the worst of them all. He played me like a fool and left me feeling used and worthless.

I was so focused on my relationships that I neglected everything else in my life. I used to vape and smoke a lot, and it affected my studies. I did very badly for my O levels, only getting 39 points. It was a far cry from the 213 points I got for my PSLE. I was in Secondary 5 when I took my O levels, and everything went downhill from there.

I was a Chinese girl and I thought I was fairly good-looking, but it didn’t seem to matter. I thought that love would be the answer to everything, but it only brought me pain and misery. I couldn’t help but feel like my life was ruined. I felt like I had nothing left to live for.

I used to be such a hopeful and optimistic person, but after all that had happened to me, I couldn’t see the point in anything anymore. I felt like I was just a shell of my former self, and I didn’t know how to move on.

I couldn’t help but blame myself for everything that had happened. I thought maybe if I had made different choices, things would have turned out differently. But it was too late for that now. I was stuck in a cycle of regret and self-loathing, and I didn’t know how to break free from it.

I wish I had known then what I know now. I wish I had realized that love isn’t always enough, and that you have to take care of yourself first and foremost. But it’s too late for me now, and I’m left to pick up the pieces of my shattered life.