Tired of living

Typing this with a heavy heart. Because I’m getting very close to ending my life.

Have u met someone, who u tot, wow this guy is totally unlikable and he’s really making me mad. Just by talking to him for a minute.

I am that guy. And for many decades, literally from kindergarten, till my adulthood I have always been disliked till the extend of being assaulted even in NS.

I crave friends, but I literally have only 1, and that’s because I did an experiment : Where I tried very hard to never disagree with him.

Recently out of a relationship I tot would be forever. And its definitely due to my personality.

And I simply cannot live like this anymore. I can’t keep faking.

Netizens’ comments

• Focus on building up yourself, knowing your likes and dislikes, preparing for financial freedom. Relationships can come later when you are and feel ready. As for friends, just know people bit by bit and you’ll realise that almost everyone is dealing with their personal issues. Who’s willing to walk with you and you being willing to walk with them shall reveal the friendships meant for you.
• Hi OP, life is hard! Don’t be afraid to seek professional help if there is a need to. You sound like you are still really young and have a whole life ahead of you. I am sure that things will get better with time, as long as you are committed to working on yourself and creating new bonds. Don’t give up, your life is as precious as anyone’s else. Jiayous!
• let me guess. u r the type that want to always have the last say, expect everything to go your way, u cannot stand ppl that disagree with you. you will question everything that does not fit your own ideals n narration. your behavior is so extreme tht literally no one wants to talk to you anymore. If this is the case, then i suggest u seek help. Seek a psy. See how they can help u improve your social skills.
• U need to stop seeking ppl’s approval and reprioritise the ppl/things in your life , if anyone isnt making u their priority, do not make them become yours
• Do u hv family to talk to? All frds come and go… when they start a family, they wil hv no time to keep in touch eventually

Should I continue or not?

I was working on a project with a group of colleagues. After some times, I realised that I was drawn to one of them.

It is really comfortable working with him. We also talk quite often on personal stuffs offline.

On one occasion (I can’t rem the context), I told him that I am not interested in him. But this is to avoid scaring him.

Now, I realised that I am always the one who initiated any conversation. His reply is often short. But he will share his personal matters with me at times. It seem to me that he see me as a friend.

It has been going on for a while. It is not moving forward. Overall, I think he is not interested.

Should I continue trying out? If yes, what should I do?

Netizens’ Comments

• I’m a female and I can’t understand what some females are up to, when they really want a YES but they say NO. The guy you are interested in is probably getting mixed signals from you. Even if he was mildly interested, he would be confused and is holding back.
• Kiss him and you will know the answer immediately.
• So you told him you weren’t interested when you were and now he’s avoiding you but you want his attention. What exactly is it that you want??
• Ask him out for a one-to-one dinner if he’s still single. If he accepts, you can try to clarify over dinner. If he rejects, you have your answer.

Marriage Advice

In a reply to a lady whose husband has been hiding and deleting his telegram chats, a netizen who has been a victim of her partner’s infidelity for 11 years gave her thoughts.

Hey lady, not trying to burst your bubble but if your husband is hiding and deleting telegram chats, he probably is having a fling with his colleague behind your back.

I came across such a person (also married for 7 years). He claims he wasn’t happy in his marriage (that’s what cheating men say don’t they, when they wanna get some😏) as they are intellectually not on the same level, and more (which I’m not gonna elaborate).

He also keeps our telegram chats a secret and mute the notifications as he said that his wife would not be able to take his explanation if she were to find out and all hell will break loose (who wouldn’t?). But that’s besides the point.

What I’m trying to say here is, if there are red flags in your marriage, don’t second-guess yourself and make excuses for him.

Confront and ask for clarification. And then, start making plans to be self-reliant, for yourself and kids (if you have any).

The truth will eventually surface one day and when the day comes and if it is indeed true, you can leave him without having to think that you still need to depend on him for financial support (or financially support your kids).

Lastly, don’t forget to pray to god for guidance and mercy, and to show you the truth.

Take care lady, and stay strong.

From a woman who’s been cheated on by her husband of 11 years.

Recap

A boyfriend who probably doesn’t love me

I have been my boyfriend for 6 years, spanning across my late 20s and now near-mid-30s. Pretty much my prime time.

I thought we were going to get married because we talked about it and even went through house renovation together.

But recently, I realised that he probably doesn’t love me even though he says he does.

He made a “promise” to my parents that he would ask for marriage within 3-5 years, told me several times that “it’s coming” but obviously it didn’t came.

He lied that he had bought the ring but couldn’t find the right timing because of my “timely questioning” that ruined surprises, when he barely even selected a ring, let alone buying it.

And now he drops the bomb that he doesn’t feel physically attracted to me anymore because we don’t have s- (I abstained from pre-marital s- and I informed him right when he asked me to be gf, told him to think carefully before committing).

He thinks that while everything between a couple is important, so is s-. If the s- is not right, everything else cannot be “perfect”.

So from how I see it, basically he’s saying that no test drive, no consideration of purchase. Even with test drive, no guarantee of purchase.

I feel like I’ve been played for the past 6 years and I’m now in my mid-30s. I feel foolish for loving a guy for so long who actually doesn’t love me.

I’m now way past the prime age and now an old hag.

Will I still be able to find somebody who is willing to love me for who I am, beyond just physical, get married and be happy in this superficial world where only young girls are in demand?

I seriously feel so lost and depressed.

Colleague tried to bring me down:

I recently joined a new company and my colleague is trying to find out my past and bring me down. If she find nothing she will create it.

She will lobby with colleagues and my boss and try to feed them with ideas that I have not been good with my previous job and I cannot be trusted etc.

As I was shadowing her she have no intention whatsoever to teach me. She will give me minimum information and will loop me in emails and give me half information so I will not know what happen from beginning.

In another occasion she will keep all information even when I requested she will give me minimum and call me to find out the rest myself.

I am not good at my previous job so I do not know how she find out and she initiated my boss to call my previous company for reference check.

She is worried about her position as she keep on making mistakes before i join. This I found out from a few colleagues. She is using me as a diversion on attention to her. If things never improve i might lose my job.

What should I do if I want to stay to do my best.

Netizens comments

• Request for someone else you can shadow and be mentally prepared to leave the company anytime should they continue to retain her for her mistakes. Freelancing is something you can do on the side to build up your skills.
• Just do your best. Consider shadowing someone or checking out with someone other than her when submitting your work. You can even report to someone you trust or HR if you feel targeted by her or if she js spreading untruths about you. Video it if you need to. But ultimately pls just focus on getting up to speed and learn from as many ppl or from your own. Pls take the initiative to pick things up yourself and don’t wait for ppl to spoon feed you. If not, they might as well just do the job themselves.
• bruh. stay for a year will be better on ur resume. reason for leaving? no career advancement. need more challenge.

I am getting extremely anxious even at the thought of taking a shower

I don’t know how long I have not taken a shower, must be more than 2 weeks. Every time I think about taking one I get extremely anxious.

I also have a 3 month baby. I don’t know how I am going to fix this problem. I always come up with 1001 excuses to not take a shower.

Either the water is too cold, it takes too much effort and time to shower or I just forget to shower in general.

I have not been out of my house just holed up in my room. My mother is helping me to take care of the baby but she doesn’t notice as she also has her hands full. I feel terrible.

Netizens’ comments

• It’s curious to me to read something like that. I can understand that there can be all sorts of reasons for it, but then again; do you not feel anxious for not having a shower for two weeks? I feel radioactive after two days and my mood is at the lowest at that.
• From one struggling new mom to another, I know when my anxiety get bad I can’t shower. For some reason it’s the hardest thing in the world. I think it’s because I know it will make me feel better. I know it’s hard especially PPD which it really sounds like you have. You are a great mom and I know it’s hard to take care of yourself with a newborn. You are doing great but please please take care of yourself.
• Please talk to a doctor if you can, or if you have a postnatal care program talk to the nurse or midwife. It sounds like you could use some support here but it may be a bit much for Reddit to fix. Good luck with the new baby and don’t forget it’s important to look after yourself too.