Snoring is making me want a divorce

Maybe some of you can relate. My husband snores so loudly that you can hear it everywhere in our home. There’s no getting away from it.

I sleep with earplugs but we have a young child and it’s not always practical.

He has not gotten any treatment despite my begging. I’m a good sleeper in general but last night I was up til 2am because it was just unbearable.

If I don’t get to sleep before he does, I often can’t. We have separate rooms because he’s too loud in the bed next to me. This has had a chilling effect on our romantic life.

I am considering separation for a month just so that I can get myself back in a good sleep mode. I’m desperate and exhausted.

I’ve explained how bad it is and recorded him. It’s LOUD. He apologizes but doesn’t do anything…I’ve bought breathing strips, wedge pillows, all kinds of aids and gadgets to try.

He will use them a few times and then “forget”. I’m tired of nagging and just plain tired.

Hi, I’ll be graduating in April and have started applying for a few jobs in marketing.

I’m someone who gets very anxious about my future and even though I’m actively doing things to get myself to where I want to be, I worry about many external factors.

So my question is: with the recession coming, should I take a lower pay e.g. 3.6k-3.8k (expecting 4k-4.2k as I have 1.5 years relevant experience despite not having a marketing degree) and change jobs or should I take a gap year? I heard that if your starting pay is lower, it’ll be difficult to negotiate for higher pay for future jobs.

A good-paying job is my top priority now as I’m looking to move out (toxic family situation). I don’t mind less work-life balance for now.

I’m also on a bond so I’ll need to work in SG for 3 years upon graduation so a gap year would affect the duration of bond. Not too sure what will happen if I take a gap year, but that’s not a worry yet.

Thanks and appreciate any advice!

Here are what netizens think:

• Secure a job with the highest pay offer u can get now. If the company decides to reduce pay due to recession, u are already prepared for it. Rather than now go for a lower pay and get pay cut, makes it even lower right?

• If you have a toxic family situation, I don’t think you can finance a gap year. As you rightly pointed out, recession is coming, so my advise is to just secure a job with a somewhat recession-proof company if possible. You can always venture out later. If you think you are worth your salt, and are underpaid, go private sector. You can climb up fast enough, if you are really worth your salt.

• Low pay doesn’t mean u cant advance fast enough. Know when to bargain for a higher pay if the company relies on u for alot of info. Know when to keep a low profile when necessary.

My bf is a mama’s boy and at first I thought it was pretty cute, now it’s starting to annoy the S out of me.

Everytime I jio him to somewhere nice, he’ll always wants to bring his mother cos he says she never try before also want to let her try.

He’s always talking about her and telling me stories about her. He loves to go out for dinner with her and he calls her every day. I thought it was really sweet that he was so close to his mother and not embarrassed by it.

But then, I started to notice that my boyfriend always seemed to be doing what his mom wanted him to do. For example, when it came time to pick a school or course, he chose the one his mom preferred, even though it wasn’t the best fit for him. He also always asked his mom’s advice before making any decisions, which was fine, but it started to get a little excessive.

I get it that his mom is a single parent and he’s the only child so he feels the duty to take care of her but what about me?

Every time we pak tor also got one light bulb, how to continue like that?

The worse part is I can sense that his mom doesn’t like me. In front of him, she pretends to treat me nicely but when he’s not around, she will tell me things like she doesn’t understand what her son sees in me, I better know my own worth and she will continue to join us for our dates to keep an eye on me.

Like wtf?

She’s really damn toxic I can’t take it. I’m only just his gf and she’s doing this alr. I can’t imagine what will happen if I actually marry him.

I just turned 52, and I still never made a single friend or had a significant other in my life

It isn’t like I didn’t try hard. I tried so hard to try to make friends in my life only to fail, fail, fail, fail, and fail. I just want to scream and cry right now.

Humans aren’t meant to be lonely and isolated throughout their whole life like this.

It feels like I am going to die early because of my poor health, and I just can’t believe that I never got to see any of the beauties of life.

Netizens’ comments

• Im so sorry you feel this way. Did you join hobby clubs or groups for singles where they go to meet up for a couple of times a month?
• I’m sorry that you feel like that but maybe you should stop forcing yourself and putting so much pressure on your shoulders! Finding good tru friends is very hard so please don’t hurt yourself like that,try to see the beauty of life and enjoy every moment of it on your own way. Sometime happiness come later to the game so don’t give up and keep believe. I wish you well
• Why do you think your attempts to make friends have failed?
  I sometimes feel this way, and I’m about the same age as you. I have only two friends right now. I had four friends before covid and during covid, three of them moved out of state so I was down to one friend. Since then I’ve made one so I have two.
  It is very hard to make friends later in life. I had more friends in my 20’s when everyone was single. Then people got married and had families. I married too, but it didn’t last very long- only 4 years. I’ve had a few boyfriends since then, but now not for a long time. This is made worse by the fact that everyone is busy with their families now. I don’t have a family, so I’m alone a lot. A LOT.
  I know why this happened: I am the victim of narcissistic abuse. My mother was a horrible person and never loved us; only manipulated us. And so I learned patterns of behavior – ‘tapes’ – that have played out again and again in my life. I see a psychiatrist, do meditation, listen to Buddhist CDs in my car that help me, and am on happy pills, but I’m not sure I will ever be fully healed. It sucks. But I know I’m doing my best, so that’s all I can do.
  I have done a lot of things tho. I made sure to do that, anyway. I have traveled all over the world. Most of it alone. But it was a goal and I did it. I try to do what I can alone so that I don’t miss out on life completely.
  Try to do what you can to make your life better. That’s what I do. I know how much it hurts to be so lonely that you feel it in your bones. I get it and totally feel your pain. I do. And I don’t think we are the only ones. I think there are a lot more people like us than we realize.
  Can you maybe make a friend at work? Do you have a hobby that can be done in a group?
  If you don’t mind my asking, are you male or female? What worked for me for a while was taking up knitting. Many cities have yarn stores and tables where you can just go and sit and knit. You go any time the store is open and just sit and knit with whoever is there. The friend I made since the pandemic came from that group. Since then, the pandemic closed that store and so now I’m stuck with no outlet to make more friends like that. But maybe I will try something else. Learning to throw pottery maybe?

I recently got into a huge argument with my boyfriend over a seemingly small thing. I had gone out with my friends to buy a BTS album and my boyfriend got very upset.

He said I was wasting money and that I should be spending it on something more important. I tried to explain to him that I just wanted to listen to the group’s new album, but he wouldn’t let it go.

The next day, I found out why my boyfriend was so upset and he went on to subscribing to P videos and spending a lot of money on them. He said it is the same as me spending on BTS album. But I wasn’t comfortable with it and felt betrayed.

I love BTS and I had no idea my boyfriend was doing something like this. I thought he respected me and my desires. I was so angry that he thought it was okay to buy P videos then try to blame me for wanting to buy a BTS album.

After talking it out, my boyfriend apologized and agreed to cancel his subscription. He also agreed to put the money he was spending on P towards buying the BTS album I wanted. I was so touched by his gesture and it made me look at our relationship in a whole new way.

So we went to buy the BTS album and after buying it he suddenly stopped when we are almost home, he took out the album and burned it at the void deck.

I was shocked. He said I did not realise what he was doing and trying to show me or teach me.

He said I am buying the album to “Listen to their face” and he is doing something similar by subscribing to videos of women who look hot and pretty.

He said that I was superficial and asked me if BTS looked like Mark Lee and Alamek from Jack Neo’s show will I still buy the album?

I said no. Which were a killer blow and the wrong answer.

He broke up with me on the spot.

I was running late for my flight that day. I had left my hotel about six hours prior because of the the traffic jams and bad reputation of the airport.

I made it to the airport with about one hour and forty-five minutes to spare.

Despite being late, I was confident that I would still make it in time, as I had already checked in and my flight was not scheduled to leave for another two hours.

So, I thought I was in the clear. But when I got to the immigration desk, my heart sank. There were long lines of people waiting to be processed and the immigration officers were chit-chatting and taking their own sweet time. I was growing increasingly anxious as my wait time started to creep up beyond the thirty minutes mark.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, I was at the front of the line. The immigration officer barely glanced at my passport and waved me through without saying a word. I quickly made my way to the boarding gate, but when I got there, I was met with a grim reality – the plane had already left without me.

I was stunned. I couldn’t believe that my flight had taken off without me after I had spent so much time in the queue – all because of the immigration officers’ chit-chat and taking their own sweet time. It felt like a huge injustice, and I was so angry and frustrated.

I went back to the immigration desk to complain, but the officers just shrugged their shoulders and said that they had to process everyone in the line. I tried to explain to them that I had only missed my flight because of them, but they didn’t seem to care.

It was at this point that I realized that the chit-chatting and taking their own sweet time was a common problem at the Kuala Lumpur airport. I had heard stories from other travellers about their experiences with the immigration officers and how they had missed their flights due to their inefficiency.

I was so disappointed and felt helpless. I had wasted so much time and energy trying to make my flight, and yet here I was, still stuck at the airport. I decided to take a deep breath and accept the situation for what it was.

I contacted the airline and explained the situation to them. Thankfully, they were understanding and arranged for me to take another flight. Although I was relieved that I still had the chance to take my trip, I was still disappointed that I had to spend an extra day at the airport, all because of the inefficiency of the immigration officers.

It was a hard lesson to learn, but it reminded me of the importance of being punctual and leaving plenty of time for unforeseen delays. I was also reminded of the power of speaking up when something is not right. It may not always work, but it is still important to raise your voice and make sure that your concerns are heard.

In the future, I will make sure to leave plenty of time for any delays, and if I ever encounter a similar situation, I will not hesitate to speak up. I hope that by doing so, I can help make the Kuala Lumpur airport a better place for everyone.