Chinese New Year is a holiday that I’ve grown up with, and I’ve always been fascinated by the zodiac forecast that comes with it.

Each zodiac animal predicts a different set of fortunes for the coming year, and I’ve always been eager to see what the forecast holds for me. Last year, however, I’ve taken the forecast a bit too seriously.

I’m a Tiger, and the forecast for last year’s Tiger sign says that it’s going to be a difficult year. The forecast warns that things could take a turn for the worse, and that I should be prepared for some nasty surprises.

This scared me, and I began to worry that if the zodiac forecast was bad, then my whole year would be bad.

I started to become paranoid, and began to see signs of bad luck everywhere. I was convinced that bad things were going to happen to me, and it was all because of the zodiac forecast.

I started to be extra careful and avoided taking risks. I even stopped doing things that I usually enjoyed, like going to karaoke or playing sports, because I was afraid that I would have bad luck.

I knew my behavior was irrational, but I was so scared of the forecast coming true that I couldn’t help it. My friends noticed my strange behavior, and they tried to help me.

They reminded me that the zodiac forecast was just an opinion, and that I should try not to take it too seriously.

They reminded me that I had the power to make my own luck, and that I should focus on the things that I can control rather than worrying about what the zodiac says.

However, I could not accept what they said as no matter how I tried to control the situation, something will surely ‘screw up’.

Right now I just hope that the Tiger year can be over soon so that all these bad luck will be gone also.

Last year my husband (35M) and I (34F) had our first (and last) child. We were fortunate enough to be able to stay at home with him for almost a year by staggering our parental leave and vacations, but now that time has run out and we must return to work.

I asked my mother (56F) if she would be available to watch him during the week and she said no. Fair enough. That’s her prerogative.

My husband and I researched daycares in the areas where we work and settled on one that came highly recommended. It was expensive though and that meant cutting down on expenses – like the monthly allowance that we’d been giving my mother.

A bit of background to this.

My parents were married for 28 years before my father decided that he wanted someone younger than my mother. For all of those 28 years my mother had been a SAHM then SAHW.

With my father leaving, she was now meant to survive somehow in a world where she had never really worked because when they got married my father didn’t want her to and, because she was raised in a traditional family, she did what the head of household wanted.

I’m not even going to go into that man’s hypocrisy. Either way, he’s gone and she’s struggling. My husband and I have been supplementing my mother’s income to a hefty amount every month which was not an issue until we had to put baby into daycare and found out just how expensive that was.

In light of that, we told her that we would need to cut her allowance in half. We were not planning to start immediately but would take the financial hit for three months to give her to time to adjust and move things around.

She got upset and told us that we were punishing her for saying no. I told her that was not the case but it is hard to maintain two households virtually by ourselves if we had to pay an exorbitant amount of our salaries to daycare every month for the foreseeable future. She was still angry and asked us to leave.

Later my sister called us upset that we were “abandoning mom” and “making her struggle” just because she wouldn’t do our bidding. So I suggested to her that she increase how much she was helping considering she still lives at home.

I recently went for a lup sup massage around the Boat Quay area.

The spa that I went to had been highly recommended to me. I was looking forward to a relaxing and rejuvenating experience, but what I got was anything but.

When I arrived at the spa, I was greeted by a young woman who asked if I wanted a “special massage”. I had heard about these kinds of massages and it was kinda my purpose for visiting them, so I said yes.

She then led me to a dimly lit room and instructed me to undress. I felt a bit uncomfortable, but I did as she asked.

The massage began, and the woman started to massage my back and legs. It was very relaxing, and I soon lost myself in the moment. After a few minutes, however, I started to feel her hands move in a different way.

They were lingering in certain places and I could tell that she was going to start the ‘special’ already.

I was taken aback and tried to protest at the rush, but the woman just kept going.

She rushed through the whole process, and I didn’t know why. It was obvious that she was trying to get it done with as quickly as possible.

I was so frustrated with the service and the experience, the way she shook my ‘banana’ was so vigorous that I felt so pain and uncomfortable I just wanted to get out of there as soon as possible.

When she was finished, she asked me to pay her and because I was so angry and I just wanted to get out of there, I dumped her the cash and I quickly got dressed and left without saying a word.

I was so disappointed with my experience. I had gone to the spa expecting a relaxing and rejuvenating massage followed by a slow and sensual ‘special’ but I did not get what I thought I would.

I’m not sure why the woman rushed through the whole thing, but I felt like I had been taken advantage of.

Image source: Google Maps

Me (23M) and my gf (21F) have entered an open relationship, but I can’t find a partner and it’s ruined my self esteem.

A few months ago my gf said she wanted to open up our relationship for some casual partners. I was very reluctant at first, but she eventually convinced me to give it a try.

Since then she has been quickly able to be intimate with other people. However I have not been able to find anyone to have a causal relationship with.

It’s making me feel awful about my self, as it seems like no one wants me. I feel like I must be ugly or undesirable and it’s generally making me feel like a loser who can’t attract anyone, while meanwhile my GF has found it incredibly easy to meet new partners quickly.

Has anyone been in a similar situation before and have some advice? 😅

This is all very new to me and I want to find a way to increase my self esteem.

Netizens’ comments

It genuinely sounds like your girlfriend wanted to sleep with other people but didn’t want to feel bad.

I personally would cut my losses and take this as a learning experience but it you truly believe an open relationship from the age of 23 can turn into an open marriage and a subsequent great life together, then by all means stick it out.

Also, it sounds like she had some people in mind beforehand.

I have been in a committed relationship with my partner for 10 years and we recently celebrated this milestone.

We have discussed marriage in the past, but we both decided that it was not necessary for us to get married.

We love each other deeply and have a strong bond, and we feel that marriage would not add anything to our relationship.

We met in poly and started dating shortly after. We had an instant connection, and it felt like our relationship was meant to be.

As we got to know each other better, we realized that we have a lot of similar values, interests, and beliefs. We also have a lot of respect for each other and appreciate one another’s differences.

We have been through a lot together in the last 10 years. We have experienced the joys of success and the hardships of failure.

We have gone through good times and bad times, but we have always been there for each other. We have been able to support each other in times of need and celebrate each other’s successes.

We have discussed marriage in the past, but we both feel that it would not add anything to our relationship. We already have a strong bond, and we feel that marriage would not make it any stronger.

We trust each other and are committed to each other, and we feel that marriage would be a formality that would not necessarily make our bond any stronger.

We also think that marriage is too expensive and would be an unnecessary expense. We have been able to save money by not getting married and using our money for more important things, such as travel and investments.

We also feel that marriage is too much of a hassle as we would need to throw a banquet to do all the unnecessary entertainment.

We also think that marriage is too traditional and would limit our freedom. We like to do things our own way and don’t want to be tied down by societal norms and expectations.

We like to make our own decisions and are not interested in following the traditional path.

We love each other deeply and have a strong bond, and we feel that marriage would not add anything to our relationship.

We trust each other and are committed to each other, and we feel that marriage would be a formality that would not necessarily make our bond any stronger.

We have been together for 10 years, and we are still going strong. We feel that we have a great relationship and don’t feel the need to get married.

Partners?

Wanted to check with the guys. Would you guys consider getting together with a girl who is in the flesh trade?

I admit I first met her in a session. However, I found myself falling head over heels for her.

Upon consulting some friends, I was strongly advised against doing so and that I would be a laughing stock among my peers.

What do everyone think?

Here are what netizens think:

• If you need to consult friends to decide, then it’s better you let her go. Clearly you look down on her job. The irony is, you are among those who patronised her service.

• No one needs to know your potential/possible future girlfriend’s business. If you don’t tell, who will judge? You should allow people around you to get to know her without any prejudice. It’s just a job to make money, who cares. If you aren’t open minded then better don’t waste her time.

• I once knew an 18 year old girl who worked in those sleazy KTVs. My friend brought her out for supper with us a few times so I asked her why did she choose this job? Her father passed, her mum is sick and her younger brother is in primary school. She herself was in poly and also the sole breadwinner. This paid her enough to support her family and continue her studies. So, what’s more important to you?

• I personally know of a close friend just like you. It was a little awkward at first but it didn’t take too long until I have acknowledged her as the one he loves. they truly are in love with one another. Well she had to feed her children from her previous marriage and she sometimes had to resort to be in the flesh trade to make ends meet. As a true friend, we will not judge who our friends choose to love as long as they are happy. I never laughed at my friend or belittle him.

The First Year

I have been married for 1 year liao, dating about 3 years. (total about 4 years+), no kids.

When we first started dating, things went well and we have been living together for about 3 years including the 1 year of marriage.

However the moment we got engaged, it seems like things started going downhill.

S become from 2-3 times a day, dropping to once a month before we got engaged and now after we got married, exactly 1 S session about 10mins which was barely satisfying.

Before she used to write me love notes or make little presents or make arrange a little outing for my birthday/christmas/anniversaries. But literally the recent christmas, she bought/made/did nothing. Normally she doesn’t do anything extravagant as she is generally on a tight budget (she earns about 3k, i earn 6k), but I appreciated the little gestures. I travel alot for work and I admit I’m not home as much as I should, but in Singapore, gotta hustle to survive.

I came home from a business trip before christmas and she requested a branded bag (30% of my take home) and a cheaper branded bag each of her 3 sisters for christmas, the total cost was my entire month’s salary, including other small christmas presents including expensive coffees beans and other misc gifts that she requested (I was covering 7 countries in 3 weeks, including europe). But nothing for me? Admittedly I was quite disappointed. My birthday this year was spent overseas working, so I guess I didn’t fault her for not doing/buying anything.

In addition, I’m paying for the mortgage in cash as the house is solely in her name (3br). I took the smallest room as my study which doubles as a store room, while she took the medium room as her own study. She recently got a full time job which after which we had discussed and agreed, she was suppose to use her CPF to pay for the house, while I continue paying the cash portion.

However she said we should delay this till next year June before reconsidering. I was abit upset at this as well, but I agreed.

I’m a generally thrifty person. I dont wear branded clothes, or use branded items. The most expensive item I own is a samsung flagship phone, bought at MSRP due to my old phone drop and spoil and I needed one urgently for work while I was overseas. When dating time, she said she dont use branded stuff either except for apple. But it seems like she likes branded shoes (supergar? supreme?), clothes (supreme? OSN?), bag (Kanken, longchamp, gucci, celine). I try to give her what she wants. But I just feel like its so uneven.

Even things like our wedding rings, my ring is a $300 ring, she had to have 2 wedding rings, a bling one one and a non bling one, total $3000. Is it a must to have 2 wedding rings? She already have engagement ring that cost $3000.

Am I materialistic or calculative to feel this way?

When I bring things up, she will generally brush it off with:

“oh but i do way more housework than you.” or “I will do better, but I can’t change overnight” or my favorite “we dont have S not because I dont want, but we are too fat, you need to lose weight, you need to make a exercise program”.

I work 12-16 hours a day, 6-7 days a week and I dont have time for exercise. My job is stressful and given the choice, I would quit, but to live this life, cannot quit. I used to work in a blue collar job that was nice and kept me active, gave me sufficient time to rest, but I spent alot more time overseas in one other country/place for several months instead of coming back to Singapore and I have been putting off taking this promotion until I got married so I could spend slightly more time in Singapore (based in Singapore). For reference, I took up the promotion 2 years ago and gained 30kg (50kg to 80kg now) and I am fat compared to last time.

Our boyfriend (we’re in a thrupple) thinks we should get a divorce/annulment, he himself is already in the middle of divorce proceedings with his own wife, so I feel hes already abit biased, and we’re more like a spilt up thrupple already. She obviously doesn’t want a divorce. He already offered to let me stay with him in his apartment.

In reddit terms, AITA for feeling this way? Am I materialistic/calculative? What should I do?

I cheated on my boyf of 5 years

I’ve known this guy(let’s call him M) for about 1 year or so and we’ve been talking on and off. We would text for a day or two, then he’ll mia.

It all happened a few months ago, when M started to proactively text me, asking me how’s my weekend etc. It was also a period when me and my boyf was not in our best state. We were having arguments often, so M’s presence was an outlet for me to seek comfort.

It was that Wednesday where things started to take a turn, and he asked me over to his house. Don’t know why I agreed to it, but yes I ended up at his house. Thinking back, I felt I was in denial. I thought to myself in the car what could possibly go wrong with 1 men and 1 women alone in a room, we were just friends right?

I cheated both physically and mentally… Somehow, I started to take an interest in M. I wouldn’t say he’s very handsome but he was charming in a certain way that I can’t describe. We met often, and I just can’t stop thinking about him every single day. Did I mention he was also attached? So I and M agreed to continue this fwb while maintaining our relationship with our partners. Everytime me and my boyf are in bed, I can’t stop reminding myself of M.

The thing is… I know M is just temporarily. He’ll be gone once he gets bored. But my boyf is taking our relationship to the next step, looking out for bto etc. I know ultimately I’ll fall back on my boyf that’s why I wouldn’t want to break up with him. Part of me wants to have some moral and end things with M, but the other part of me keep thinking about M. A little context about my boyf is that he wasn’t the best guy.

During the first few years of our relationship, I would always bring up breaking up as he constantly lies to me. Promises were always broken, and I felt my forgiveness was taken for granted. So I guess my relationship was M was my revenge towards my boyf.

What should I do? Break off the fwb, or keep hiding from my boyf.