I have been in a relationship with my girlfriend, S for about three years.

We had our ups and downs but everything was still going decently well, we loved each other and we enjoyed our time together.

Recently, I feel that she have been treating me as a cash cow.

She has been asking money from me every now and then for all sorts of reasons.

First she asked me for money for a bag, then she asked me for money for a new iPhone 14.

The amount that she asked has always been in the $2,000 to $3,000 region.

Recently, it got worst as she have been frequenting the casinos and have been asking me for $5,000 to $10,000 at one go.

I tried to talk to her about being more prudent in managing her finances and she would always hurriedly brush me off with an ‘okay’ or ‘ya ya i know’ reply.

As if asking for money like this is all enough.

Recently, she has been telling me that she wants to get a Mini Cooper and wants me to down pay a 70% for her.

She really thought that I am printing money.

However, instead of rejecting her, I told her that I would send the money to her in an envelope that very night.

I even told her that I would pay the full amount for her.

Upon hearing it, she was elated and hugged and kissed me.

I had other plans in mind though.

I went to a shop nearby my place which sells joss paper products and bought a ton of ‘hell’ notes.

I stuffed them into a big brown paper envelop and put a lighter in it.

Inside the envelope, I also made sure to include a note which gave her instructions to burn the notes and use it in her afterlife.

Needless to say, we broke up shortly after.

Cheating husband wants me back – Should I forgive him?

Through all the years that I’ve known my hubby, I never thought he was the cheating type.

The affair started back in 2019 when the girl joined an F&B outlet where my hubby is the manager and she is a divorcee. Knowing that my hubby is the cousin of the owner, she tried every way to get close to my hubby. She was aware that my hubby is a married man.

She tried to seduce him to get his attention. After a month of trying, she managed to get him by having S with him.

They have been meeting everyday after work and she demands for him to fetch her every night, accompany her for meals and dating before sending her back to the hostel where she stays. Even took off together to have their affair either in her hostel where no one around and even book a hotel to continue their affair.

One day she discovered she was pregnant and decided to abort the baby because she is a Malaysian holding a work permit here with single status. She told my hubby that if she went back to Malaysia she will for sure get caught and do not want to end up in prison. My hubby believed her and gave her money to abort the baby on 24th November 2022. They continued their affair till one day she demanded for him to marry her as his second wife. At first my hubby worried if I will ask for a divorce. As she insisted, on 26th November 2022, my hubby asked me if he can marry her.

When I asked if she was his staff, he denied it. Till one day I saw his messages to her. I asked him to divorce me but he refused and told me that he still loves me very much. I was very sad and cried, asking him repeatedly why he cheated on me? This girl tried every way so I can leave him so she can be with him.

The worst was one day when I saw her and she told me I was old while she was young. She told me to operate my face and body. She even posted on FB to insult me. She broke my marriage and yet dared to insult me on FB.

My hubby bought her branded bag, watches and spend her at expensive restaurant and hotel. Gave her a monthly allowance. She probably feels proud that she could seduce her manager and make use of him for her benefit. She loved to brag that she was his girlfriend and nobody can scold her.

As a wife. I had to tolerate the times he spent his off-days with her, even lying to me that he has no off-days due to manpower shortage.

Recently he told me that he loved me and will not want to divorce. He told me he broke up with her and promised to change. I just want to get an opinion if I should give him another chance or proceed with the divorce.

I used to think that being agreeable was the way to go.

I was raised in a strict household, where I was taught to be respectful to my elders and always act with grace and humility.

This mindset helped me to get along with people and find some success in life, but it also caused me to become a bit of a bootlicker.

Whenever I was around someone who I perceived to be more successful than me, I would go out of my way to flatter them and agree with whatever they said.

I would treat them to meal and drinks, go out of my way to make them feel comfortable and even be at their service every time they call me.

I thought that this would make them like me, and maybe even give me some of their success. Little did I know, I was playing myself.

Sure, this strategy worked for a while. People seemed to like me, and I was able to get some recognition and a few good opportunities.

But then I started to realize that people were only using me for their own gain. No matter how much I brown-nosed them, they never seemed to care about me as a person.

It was almost like I was a tool to them, to be used and discarded when they were done with me.

It was disheartening to realize how much of a fool I had been. I had wasted so much time and energy trying to please people who didn’t care about me, and yet I was still no better off than before.

That’s when I started to understand that bootlicking wasn’t the way to go.

It might be a good way to make a few acquaintances, but if you want to build meaningful relationships and real success, you need to be genuine and honest.

You need to be true to yourself and make sure that the people you interact with know that you care about them.

People I thought were my friends have been making fun of my dad

I (f16) have a dad who has a mental disability. My biological mom took advantage of my dad and got pregnant then after she had me, she left. My grandparents took care of me, and my dad still was and is a big part of my life. He just couldn’t take care of a kid. My dad and I spent a lot of time together, he also lives with my grandparents.

My dad always goes to all my different activities, definitely my biggest supporter. When I play volleyball and basketball he’s the loudest one always cheering me on at games, or my orchestra performances after it’s done he talks a LOT about how good I did and he naturally talks kinda loud.

My main friend group knows that my dad has a mental disability and at my events see how he gets but they’ve never said anything to me.

This morning I got a text from a guy who is somewhat part of my friend group but I don’t know him that well said I need to see this. It was a video of my whole main friend group making fun of my dad, and how he acts and talks. They were hysterically laughing at him.

I can’t stop crying, I thought these people were friends but I guess not.

UPDATE: so I ended up talking to my grandparents, showed them the video, and asked what I should do. They thought it was best if I didn’t confront them and just block their numbers / on social media.

My grandparents are going to contact their parents and see how it goes from there. I also thanked the guy who texted me and sent me the video

unpopular opinion here. as a girl, i think it is not necessary to a guy to pay for first date.

a first date can be at hawker centre. tbh, hawker centre and coffeeshop food represent good value for money.

i dont think it is necessary to have a car too. in fact no car equal no liabilities. public transport works great. wedding can be small scale.

tbh nobody cares after the wedding. that being said, a 12k monthly salary for a guy is a deal breaker, as this is min salary to enable the guy to get a 75% bank loan for a typical 900sqft condo at $2000 psf.

Here are what netizens think:

• The question is not about what you want, the question is about what you can get. If all else is equal, and a man with options has to weigh between you and another woman. And you have the upfront difficult KPI to meet, you can be assured you will be placed lower on his priority list of commitment.

• 12k means each of you earn 6k can liao. Most importantly partnership & common goals, babe. If partnership fails, he earn 12k also won’t fork out a single cent

• While you are choosing people, people are also choosing you at the same time…

• HDB income ceiling is 14k. If he earns 12, then unless you not working, you guys can only buy condo. But to buy condo and raise a family with less than 20k, will be tough.

• In short, you just want a relatively rich guy, knowing that the super rich is probably out of reach.

• It is not wrong to fantasize about a rich guy. But what do you offer? The relationship has to be equal give and take.