My boyfriend suddenly becomes “sick” whenever I’m sick and it’s driving me insane

The title pretty much says it all. We’ve been together for two years and every single time I become sick my boyfriend starts complaining about being so much sicker than me.

For example when I had tonsillitis, he suddenly was dying from tonsillitis. When I had a uti, he’s suddenly dying from a uti. Every single time I get better he magically gets better too.

I got very sick on the 23rd of this month and have been in bed for all of Christmas. I’m really upset over missing the holiday and I cant even complain about it to him as now he’s suddenly DYING sick with the same thing but it’s somehow “worse”.

This virus has had me bed bound for 4 days and he went out last night drinking and is currently going to work, but insists he’s just as sick as me. How can I get him to stop it’s driving me mad??

I need to make something clear. This has been the happiest relationship of my life and this is one problem in it.

He doesn’t run for the hills when I get sick, he simply tells me he is also feeling off within 24 hours of me saying so. He’s a hypochondriac that thinks he’s after getting the same illness that i have and it’s driving me nuts.

He goes above and beyond in every other aspect of our relationship. I just want a simple way to explain to him that it’s annoying me where I don’t look unsympathetic.

I currently have a chest infection and he thinks he’s after getting one off me as well. There is no need to call me a “naive child” because I don’t want to break up with him over an issue that annoys me.

Thoughts on having 1.2k-1.4k leftover savings every month. I am currently staying with family and save about 2k+ every month.

However, I want to try living alone and assuming that rental cost is 800-1.1k per month, I forecasted that I would have about 1.2k-1.4k left (before investment, after subtracting additional food, transport costs etc).

I want to get Singaporeans’ sense check on whether this amount is too low, average or still on the higher side in term of monthly savings.

How much do fresh graduates save per month typically? I have been in the work force for 1.5 year by the way, if this context helps.

Netizens’ comments

• Don’t forget about food costs, laundry, personal hygiene stuff. Still need to put down deposit.
• You need to factor your food and transport costs on top of the rent.
• Sounds like an underestimate for rent considering prices these days
• Factor in any room maintenance (aircon servicing)
• 2k – 800 = 1.2k, math checks out
  What do you mean by low, average or high lol. That’s the amount you originally save and you deduct rent so you will have what’s remaining lor. Not sure what you’re getting at here.
  If you want to save more then earn more or spend less. That’s it
• What are u on about? Save what u can. There’s no minimum or maximum
• I generally encourage people to wait till they are late 20s to move out cos they’d be earning more then and can rent AND save money
• Bruh, sorry for those unhelpful comments from some. Don’t feel pressured to compare your monthly savings with others. If 1.2k is sufficient for you then go ahead.

[31M][30F] Best friend slept with ex-girlfriend

Hi folkes,

I am in a bit of conundrum, I broke up with my gf about a year ago and learned that my best friend slept with her 3 months after our break up. Neither of them told me about it, this was brought up to me a by a mutual friend.

I confronted my friend about it and he confirmed. He didnt apologize but said he couldnt control himself and felt guilty about it so didnt talk to me about it.

I find myself unable to accept his apology, however we have been friends for 12 years. I feel its hard to make friends like that again, but at the same time I feel that out of all the girls in the world why did he had to choose her for a hook up.

Should I still continue to be friends with this person, or it would be better to cut him off altogether for life?

Netizens’ comments

• Cut him off. Anyone who betrays you this badly will likely do it again. Being unable to control yourself is the dumbest excuse I’ve ever heard…
• I realize making good friends is hard, but he wasn’t being a good friend, and he knew it which is why he didn’t tell you about it. If your 12 year friendship was that important he would have respected it rather than jumping into bed with your ex right after your breakup. Yeesh.
• the fact that he left me in the dark would probably have hurt more, since she was no longer my girlfriend. I don’t like the idea of being the only one walking around, not in the know…

I dont know if I’d have to completely cut him off, but he definitely sounds like an associate more than a friend.

Married colleague

I fell in love with a married colleague, but I have a gf.

To be clear, I didn’t know she was married at first. We are from the same department but don’t have any mutual projects or friends, so we never got to interact before.

Last month, we went on a company retreat and happened to be in the same grouping. She seemed very smart and cheerful to me, and I found her attractive.

At first I thought it was a silly crush that would pass, so I didn’t think much about it.

At night there would be drinking parties in the hotel, so on the last night we were in the same room with a bunch of other people. Somehow we ended up chatting at the balcony about life, and I felt the spark very strongly. We didn’t do anything but I felt this strong urge to kiss her, and I felt bad for thinking that way because I have a gf. I had to force myself to physically get away from her because I was afraid of doing something I will regret.

It’s been a month since then, and I only found out she’s married after stalking her social media. I know its bad for me to feel this way about her, but I really can’t help myself. I tried to avoid her in the office but I also cant see anyone but her.

I know this is completely unfair to my gf, but ever since the retreat I don’t have much feelings for my gf anymore.

Here are what netizens think:

• Your gf is better off single than to be stuck with a guy who has no feelings for her anymore. However, love is a decision and commitment, not merely a feeling. Therefore, you can also take the time while you’re single to learn how to be focused on just one. Good luck

• I mean, if you know that you don’t have feelings for your girlfriend anymore then you should just end the relationship. Not fair to her, and no point torturing yourself either.

• Rule #1 of being in a relationship is to keep a distance from the opposite gender even though she’s a co worker.

My [20f] girlfriend wants to get nasty in bed, but I don’t know how to tell her that I [20m] am a virgin

I’ve been dating this girl for a while now, and lately she has been dropping hints about sleeping with me, she has even gone as far as sending me suggestive, racy texts.

I have responded in kind, but I’m not sure how to tell her that I haven’t done this before, I don’t want to turn her off.

I assume it’s one of those things I must tell her, but I don’t know how to breach the subject, also, should I wait until It is the moment, or try to tell her preemptively?

Also, Is there anything I must know before my first time?

I don’t really care if I don’t enjoy myself, I just don’t want to disappoint her, Is there a way to have her have a guaranteed good time (Even if it’s not quite pleasant)?

Thanks in advance

MIL won’t stop commenting on my weight

I have always struggled to gain weight and for most of my life I’ve been 45kg or under, until a year ago when I finally managed to start gaining a healthy amount of weight for the first time.

This was obviously a huge personal goal health wise and I was thrilled about it.

My partner mentioned it to my MIL in passing conversation and since, she has negatively commented on my weight every time I’ve seen her.

She tells me I need to “eat more” and when she sees me eating she makes comments about me not finishing meals (something I have struggled with in the past) and constant comments about my “tiny clothes”.

There have been a lot more but that’s the gist.

It makes me feel so infantilised. I’m so fed up of it and I don’t know what to say to her as it’s such a hard subject for me to talk about.

Netizens’ comments

Hard or not this may be a conversation you need to have. Is MIL the sort of person who’d think it was ok to tell a fat person to go eat a salad? If she is then there’s probably little point in a conversation but if she would be genuinely horrified by that then there may be a chance you can get through to her.

For a lot of people (especially those who struggle to lose weight) the concept of struggling to gain weight feels like a non-issue issue. Explain that struggles with weight are just that – struggles with weight and while the exact nature of the struggle may by different the struggle remains. If you can make her see that “eat a pie” is the same as “get a salad” and just as insensitive you may be able get her to stop making those sorts of comments.

My boyfriend cheated and I couldn’t be happier

I had been with my boyfriend since we were in school and we are currently 25. We were DEEPLY in love with each other and we both knew that we were going to be together for a long time. Genuinely thought he was my twin flame or soulmate even.

About a year ago, he told me that he ran into his ex. I didn’t think much of it since I trusted him and they dated a long time ago. And he even told me about the little interaction making me think that he wasn’t hiding anything from me.

A couple months ago, I went over to his apartment in the morning on his day off to drop off some food and surprise him with a figure he’s been wanting. I had extra keys to his home so I walked in and didn’t see him anywhere until I walked into his room. I saw his ex in bed with him peacefully sleeping together.

My entire stomach dropped and my mind was RACING let me tell you. But I just left the food and figure on the kitchen counter and left.

When I got home I immediately blocked him on everything, instagram, number, snapchat, etc. I deleted all of our pictures and videos.

I told all of my friends and family to block him and I would explain why to them later. Every single thing he ever gave me I eventually ended up giving away or throwing out like clothes and trinkets.

It’s been months now and I seriously have never been happier my whole life. After almost 9 years of being so happy in love and being together, it all went down the drain in a snap.

I think not dwelling on it has made it a lot easier for me to get over. Of course there were times where I realized he wasn’t in my life anymore and it would give a sense of dread.

But I have come to a stage in my life where I am completely fine if not BETTER without him. I am so grateful I did everything I did back then to get past that situation and move on for the better.

Boyfriend quit his job and is not looking for a new one. I’m getting desperate.

We’ve been together for 5 years and living together for 3 years at my home. He’s caring, thoughtful and more loving than i ever hoped someone would be with me.

For the past two years he’s been at his first job and resented it. This job took a stroll on his mental health and it lead him to be unmotivated in finding a new one. One day in August he called me to tell me he quit his job, which I am not going to lie, made me feel a little sad because he hasn’t consulted me before, but I supported his decision because I knew that job was sucking the life out of him. He was also eager on having more time for finding a new better job.

Forward to now, he has been jobless for almost 3 months and has not applied to a single new job yet. He does basic house chores and spends most of his day on his phone. His savings have dried up so I support us now. Still, my fulltime and part-time jobs added are honestly not enough for both of us to live confortably.

Issue is, there had been a few job opportunities in his field that I found and shared with him these months. He was excited for a moment and said he would apply but never did. He also doesn’t want to involve me in his (inexisting) process of finding a job or talk to me about his issues.

He is extremely sad and I tried everything in the book to make him feel better: be supportive, take him on walks, confort him, even be naggy at times. Nothing works. I offered to pay for therapy but he didn’t accept.

I don’t know how to help him and while I hate myself for it, I am becoming resentful too. I am tired all the time from my jobs and seeing him doing nothing to help out our situation financially is starting to get to me.

I don’t know what to do to and how to help him.