Hi I’m graduating next year. Expecting a honours distinction (engineering degree). Is it a good idea to sign on with SAF or should I try it out in the private sector?

I’ve looked through and signing on offers pretty competitive salaries. In my field in the private sector, my pay will lag behind at least for the first few years.

I was an officer during NS and while I am not that passionate about the military, I think I can do a reasonably well job. The most important thing to me is job stability as i just want to settle comfortably into a job when I find a suitable one. Having a reasonable pay would be the second criteria.

But I don’t know if I would be missing out on anything if I were to sign on as my first job.

Can anyone advise me?

Here are what netizens think:

• Sign on loh. Then maybe your rank cap at Major without scholarship. Very stable career. Just need to wayang and step on the men to get promoted. If you get high enough rank then after 45 you can get good positions in public sector where you can get paid well to be bean counter. If you go private sector you have to be much more capable than in public sector.

• Saf is the best employer. Aside from salary, they give you free clothes to wear (no.4 and even pt kit), free shoes, free meals within campus, free medical, and even a free gym with swimming pool for some camp, and a bunk. 包吃包住 but there is a huge trade off, hence the good pay and benefits.

• Assuming you want to stay with the civil service if you go through the SAF route, it’s worth going through the military and transferring into a similar role after retirement from the SAF.

• Don’t sign on for the wrong reasons. Being an officer doesn’t not justify anything especially when you have mentioned you are not passionate about the military/job. The last thing we really need is for NSFs and others to look at you and conclude that the organisation is full of people like you… we really need more people who believe in serving and protecting the country to sign on.. and you are denying others who really wish to serve the country of a job .. But yeah.. many people will say .. it’s already happening. Don’t make it worse and perpetuate the mistake.

• Don’t join saf unless you are a safos scholar . You will never reach brigadier general rank and you will not be able to transfer to stat board /GLC as CEO after discharge from saf. Most importantly , do something useful with your life , don’t end up like paper generals – cannot fight wars, no useful skills, don’t command any respect from society.

• Sign on at your kind of qualifications is good. Better if you were a scholar. Just don’t henta kaki some rank. What is your CEP rank? If colonel and above why not?

I really admire your independence.

We got along so well together on text and in person. But sometimes you could go for weeks without talking to me, then resume as if no time has passed.

When you went on vacation, I gave you the space and time to relax with your friends. Even though there wasn’t a day when I didn’t think about you, I resisted the urge to text you.

When I went on vacation with my friends in Bali, one of them who had gotten a new gf texted her consistently throughout the trip.

I was jealous.

Yet I knew that the two of us were different, while we may one day be co-dependent I want us to be independent as well. There is also a chance the rs eventually doesn’t work out due to long distance in the near future.

You were very upfront and honest about your feelings on studies, teachers and topics of interest. I wish I had half your courage to express so openly, but I still get butterflies in my stomach everytime i think/about to meet you. Hence why I’m more reserved.

I don’t know what I did in my past life to deserve such a person like you. But here’s to the rest of our life together. (hopefully)

Here are what netizens think:

• This is not independent. This is while u r in no contact, she’s in contact with other guys. RS is a consistent connection and not on n off kind
• Huh..what talking you?
• Seeking pity and attention like a typical loser.
• What rubbish

I’ve been with my boyfriend for a year+ and on-going.

We have a solid relationship and everything is good. But recently I met a mutual friend of ours and couldn’t stop thinking about him… (not in a romantically way but interested to find out more about this dude and talk to him).

I am still in love with my boyfriend but I don’t know why do i think that way about this friend…

Here are what netizens think:

• One year plus with your bf should be still in honeymoon stage. If you’re already thinking of wanting to know another guy its not a solid relationship. You say it’s not a romantic feeling but you want to know more about the guy (what for?) and claim you still love your bf. Maybe you are in denial of your own thoughts and feelings. What if I tell you the best person to answer this question is your current bf. Would you be willing to ask him? If you have every intention to hide your thoughts from him, you know the answer as clear as day.

• Like what I’ve say, if you are attached , please keep a distance from the opposite sex. If you can’t, it will be better not to be in a relationship.

• How would you feel if you friend is thinking about another girl? You already have signs of straying. Your mouth said still love him but your heart n mind already with someone else

• Cos your mind very free. Go and unlock Ramattra. You won’t think about him anymore then.

• Love is making a conscious choice to continue choosing your partner everytime a temptation arises in your world (external and internal). It requires us to let the thoughts and associated emotions (for the other person) go (by itself) by not clinging onto them.

• If you find yourself being overwhelmed by the thoughts and emotions for the other person, then you may just want to reevaluate and reaffirm your love.

• If you find yourself after the evaluation, unable to reaffirm your love for your partner and still being swarmed by your thoughts and emotions for the other person, then you have to make a choice.

Currently in the first few months of my first job after graduation.

However, here are certain things I realised about my boss (even though he is quite a nice person) and makes me wonder if its red flag.

First of all, he is a workaholic and although by words he say he will not pressure us, but somehow that makes us feel like we should work harder (he does not say it explicitly in a way).

Also, he mentioned that he’s an alpha male during a one to one review session, making me wonder if he is hinting to me that I should better follow his ideas and thoughts.

He expressed that he would want people to take and follow his instructions. Among colleagues in a group setting, he will also repeatedly mention things which links to our personal issues such as our dating life or wealth.

One example would be that as he is from a well to do family, he will tend to say things like ‘go buy a car’ as if anyone can afford to buy it easily. Some statements he made might not be explicit, but it tends to make me feel like he has another meaning behind it. When discussing about work stuffs, he will doubt my words and questions me, making me feel like I do not make sense (maybe I might be a little sensitive about this but it feels like he don’t trust me).

Overall, the vibes with him just feels off and at times quite forceful.

Not sure if I should continue with the job as I feel like my boss might not value me, even though I enjoy working my my other colleagues.

Here are what netizens think:

• You are gaining work experience. That includes learning how to handle and deal with the people you work with. Working with all sorts of people also trains you to manage and improve your interpersonal relationship skills. Even bad managers can teach us how to be good leaders. You will learn what not to do because you’ve experienced exactly that and know what is lacking. Also if you can survive the worst, there will be nothing you can’t cope.

• You wanna feel valued , then make yourself valuable by proving your capabilities. can’t expect it to drop from the sky. a degree do not equal to you are “better”. it just giving you the knowledge and know how. however, knowing how to apply such knowledge is what bosses or company need. not that piece of paper.

• Sounds like he’s an Alpha in the low EQ department. With that being said, your first job doesn’t have to be a shit experience you deserve a better work environment and better boss who you can learn from. Keep looking and apply for better opportunities.

I used to be very social in my younger years and I would often go out every night with friends. We would go to bars, clubs, and even just hang out at each other’s houses.

I always thought it was a great way to spend my free time and I was having a great time.

But then, as I got older, I started to realize that maybe I was wasting my money. All those nights out cost money and I was never really getting anything out of them.

Sure, I was having fun, but I didn’t feel like I was really making any meaningful connections or lasting memories.

I started to think about the amount of money I was spending on these “meaningless” social activities and it made me feel a bit guilty.

I was spending money on things that weren’t really enriching my life or making me a better person in any way.

So, I decided to make a change. I started to focus on activities that were more meaningful and productive. I began to invest my time and money into things that would make me a better person and help me reach my goals.

I began to spend my nights doing things that were more meaningful, like reading books, working on a project that was important to me, or even just spending time with family and friends who I truly cared about.

I found that these activities were much more fulfilling and I was making connections with people that I felt were going to last.

I am so glad I made this decision and I want to encourage others to do the same. Socializing every night can be a lot of fun, but it can also be a waste of money if it isn’t meaningful.

I think it’s important to invest your time and money into activities that are really going to help you grow and become a better person.

It’s okay to go out and have fun, but make sure you’re really getting something out of it. Don’t waste your money on meaningless activities that aren’t going to leave a lasting impression.

Make the most of your time and money and invest in activities that are going to make you a better person in the long run.

I was overjoyed when my girlfriend told me that she wanted a Yves Saint Laurent wallet for her birthday. She had been hinting at it for a while, as it was an item she had been eyeing for a while.

So, I decided to surprise her and get it for her as a gift. I was so excited to give it to her and see the look on her face when she opened it.

Little did I know, I was about to be labelled a cheapskate.

I searched around and compared prices. I was surprised to find that the wallet was quite expensive. I was not prepared to spend so much money on a wallet, but I was determined to get it for my girlfriend.

I was sure she would be really happy with it.

So, I decided to look for a cheaper alternative. I searched online and found a replica of the wallet for a much cheaper price. I was sure she would love it.

After all, it looked pretty much the same as the original.

I got the wallet and wrapped it up in a nice box. I was really excited to give it to her. But when I did, she was not as impressed as I had expected.

She was polite and thanked me for the gift, but I could tell she was disappointed as her faced changed from smiling happily to becoming a little serious.

Nevertheless, she used it even though she was reluctant to carry a ‘fake’.

Later, I found out that some of her friends had discovered that the wallet was a replica. They had teased her about it, calling me a ‘cheapo’ for not buying the original.

I felt really embarrassed and ashamed. I had only wanted to save some money, but it had backfired and I had ended up hurting my girlfriend.