I lent my bf $4000 and now that im struggling w money he won’t pay me back.

I’m not sure if I’m being selfish and I’ve been contemplating on posting this for a few days. Basically about a year or two ago I lent my bf $4000 over the period of a few months we were living together at the time and splitting bills so I had extra money on the side to help him out, we never discussed him paying me back at the time but he did mention he would eventually.

Now I’m moved out on my own paying almost $1000 a month for rent and barely making enough at my new job.

I contacted my bf via text messages explaining how stressed and overwhelmed I am with my bills and I asked if he’d be able to lend me $1000 or $2300 that I would pay back to him within a month or so and he immediately refused.

I felt really bad because it’s already embarrassing to me to have to ask my partner for money because I simply can’t make it for myself right now and I thought maybe he didn’t understand the situation I was in so I guess I sort of started to beg him for it and I brought up that I lent him some money a year or so back and that he could just call it even on that money.

To which he replied calling me selfish and telling me I must have only lent him the money in the first place so I could “use it against him in the future”

he then told me I’m never going to get that money back from him so I might as well drop it and accused me of trying to “use him” for his money.

Now some of you may say maybe he’s broke and me asking him for money made him feel embarrassed or something but my bf is a business owner who runs a very successful business, he has a brand new 2022 car and he has at least $30,000 that I know he has.

Im really not sure if he is right and I am being completely selfish and messed up for feeling bad and thinking he should pay me back or if I’m right for feeling some type of way.

Breaking up after BTO

Dear All,

I need some advice, I have recently broken up with my partner.

Currently we have a BTO going but my partner wants to withdraw from it and is requesting us to go HDB to get back our stamp duty. But I really wants the house.

As he/she doesn’t have CPF back then I paid the full 10% CPF deposit for the house & we only shared the cost for the stamp duty.

My partner wanted the stamp duty refund so much that he/she went to made a police report against me for not following the request to proceed to cancel the HDB.

Q1. I read somewhere that it is possible to change the ownership to my future partners (if any) name? is this true?

Q2. If my partner insist on cancelling the BTO to get the stamp duty & brought me to court for this. Can he/she actually win the case and kick my rights to the BTO?

Netizens’ comments

1. U can’t change the name unless ur ex agree to it.u have to give up ur flat
2. I’ve had a friend been in a similar situation before. You can swap out your ex’s name but you need to have a new partner that you want to have the BTO with. Also, this is on a case by case basis up to the discretion of HDB. Ie for my friends case, couple was on a break and the guy had a one night stand with my friend and ended up getting pregnant and since a child is already on the way and they are getting married, HDB allowed the swap
3. Your argument seems to only revolve around the fact that you paid your 10% and you really want the flat but that’s not how the world works.
4. I mean, I’m not an expert for HDB but for Qn 1, the BTO policy is for couples who are going to be married. that’s literally the point of BTO. you have broken up, you currently have no partner, you (i assume) r not gonna be married anytime soon. You cannot just make up some exception about changing ownership in respect of a non-existent partner because you ‘really want the house’. Yeah no shit, there is a shortage, many many couples (who have not broken up) really want the house.
5. I don’t think you have a choice in any of this. If ur not gonna get married. You can’t have the house. Your only option left is to make sure she pays half of the deposit

What phone/texting things that some older generation still do that, in the current age, is unacceptable? What’s yours? I’ll start…

Receiving a text with “can you call me back?”. Just that. No intro, no context.

To me this is the most anxiety inducing message one can receive. The most recent time happened to me got me anxious. Called back and the person was not answering. Created so much anxiety for a few hours that I can’t focus.

When we finally talk, it was that the person wanted to invite me to a show they’re putting up at Christmas. Urgh.

Netizens’ comments

• good morning whatsapp picture/quotes .. i dont really have a big problem with it but its so awkward and idk how to reply. but if i don’t reply i will look rude tho 😫
• In a similar vein, those WhatsApp stickers, pictures, and even videos whenever there’s a festive holiday.
  Xmas send one time, dong zhi send one time, new year one time, CNY another time. Then you multiply that with about 10 adults who are around 40 to 50 y/o. You can see how it gets spam-filled very easily.
• In relation to OP’s example, really don’t like when people text “Hi ____” and nothing more. Then its on you to type a hi back, then wait for the other person to come back online, then type in whatever the fk they intended to say or ask in the first place. Ultimate time wasters.
• understand not everyone can multitask but boomers coming to a full stop in the middle of a crowded walkway to send a text/fiddle with their phone are the worst.
• Anyone writing texts with more emojis 🧘🏻‍♂️🌍🌦️🍞🚗📞🎉❤️🍆🍑 than words.
  We haven’t communicated with hieroglyphs since 300AD. If you’re going to write like ancient Egyptians, I am just going to assume that you are really old.
• The usual “Happy Birthday ____! 🎉🥳🎂🎁🎈🎊” in family whatsapp groups and sadly I myself have became accustomed to it
• Typing their messages like this…for some reason…they like to put multiples fullstops…makes everyone sound like they are ‘done with life’…

I’m currently job searching and went for an interview 2 weeks ago. The interview went well (from my perspective) – good rapport with the interviewers, they were impressed with the questions I asked.

towards the end they asked back my thoughts on the company culture. Overall it was good. Left happy

However it’s been two weeks and I haven’t heard a peep. I sent one follow-up email, no reply. Just saw the job posting online again.

Do I consider myself rejected and move on? I did have an experience where I applied for a job and didn’t receive an interview email until 6 months later, but that was with an MNC.

This is an SME. Can any recruiters shed light on why they possibly could have decided I wasn’t a good fit for the role? 🙁

Update: it’s tough. a rejection email would have been nice. at least i won’t wonder if i read the signals wrong.

• Just send out your resume to the companies you find interesting/attractive. Don’t get fixated just to 1 company, you’ll feel better that way
• they found two better ones lel. usually even if they keep in contact and hold on to you, you may just be a backup in case their first choice drops. common HR tactic. just move on and apply for more jobs! jia you!!
• When my manager was finding my replacement he shared that some candidates might be over qualified because he was scared they might get bored fast. So he chose someone with less experience.
• If it is a positive interview, there’s a couple of reasons I can think of due to the longer timeline.
  1. Probably arranging for a second interview and the second interviewer is away, pretty common in December period.
  2. The recruiter or TA is OOO as well hence no rejection email or follow up. No news is also a good news for now
  3. They are interviewing other candidates and you are probably the first of the lot they are interviewing. Hence usually takes about 2-3 weeks to complete the first round of interviewing.
  For the 3rd point, I usually complete all the candidates interviewing before responding to TA. This allows me to go through all the profiles on my down time and make a call on the final 2 candidates.

I never thought that I would be in a relationship with someone who worked in a disposal company.

It all started when I met him at a party. He was so charming and I was instantly attracted to him. We started dating and I thought that things were going great.

But then one day, I found out that he worked in a disposal company.

I was so shocked and I couldn’t believe it. I felt so embarrassed for him and I couldn’t help but think that he was a loser, a Garang Guni!!

I didn’t know how I was supposed to feel about the situation. I was so embarrassed for him and for myself for being with someone who worked in a disposal company.

I started to distance myself from him, avoiding any conversations about his work. I didn’t want to be associated with something so lowly. I started to look down on him and I couldn’t help but think that he was beneath me. I was so embarrassed and I felt like I had made a huge mistake.

But then something incredible happened. I found out that he was actually the boss of the disposal company and he was earning over $8k a month. I was so surprised and relieved. I felt so embarrassed for having judged him based on his job and I felt so stupid for having looked down on him.

I apologized to him and told him how sorry I was for having judged him.

He was so understanding and he said that he understood why I had felt the way I did. We talked about it for a long time and eventually, I was able to accept his job and even respect him for it.

But he did not forget how I treated him, he threw me away a month late and I was pregnant.

My father told me I deserved it and refused to help me, my sister said I asked for it.

I have no one to help me, what should I do…