I (37f) have two kids with my husband (41m); a 14-year-old daughter and a 10 year-old son.

Our daughter has always been a little socially awkward to the point that we’ve had her tested since we suspected her of being on the spectrum. Turns out she isn’t on the spectrum; she’s just a natural introvert.

However, this year in school we were thrilled when our daughter made a new friend her age since that is an area in which she struggles. Long story short she recently invited her new friend over (with our aproval) to have dinner at our house and then spend the night.

So, my daughter’s friend came over. My husband is usually the cook in the family and this night was no exception; he made us all a really nice meal. During the course of said meal I asked my daughter’s friend; “Are you enjoying the food?” She responded “Yes! [Your husband] is a great cook! No wonder you’ve ended up a bigger woman.”

The room got quiet for several moments. My husband tried to laugh it off and change the subject but I wasn’t having it. The girl had just leveled a completely uncalled-for insult at me. My daughter’s friend seemed to realize that she’d messed up but she didn’t say anything else. We finished an awkward dinner in mostly silence and my daughter’s friend did stay the night.

This was a couple of months ago. Recently my daughter asked if she could have her friend back over and I told her “Sure; if she’s going to apologize to me.” When our daughter asked what I meant I reminded her of what she’d said. My daughter responded that it was over and she didn’t want to bring it up again.

She then went to her father and asked. He said “sure” but she then told him what I’d said. He came to me and said: “[Daughter’s friend] just felt awkward and tried to make a joke. It didn’t land. For the sake of our daughter can’t you just let it go?”

Yes, I could, but the thing is that I just want an apology from the girl. I need to see that she understands how rude she was before I can get on board with her and myy daughter hanging out. My husband says that I am being weird for insisting on an apology from a 14 year-old, especially since that girl is such a good friend of our daughter. I think it’s weird that I’m still waiting for an apology from that same girl. Seriously. That’s all I need. I just need to know that any friend of my daughter is willing to own up to her screw ups.

Is this normal?

When I was playing a mmorpg game, my bf asked me “who are you playing with, what are their names, male or female”.

He rarely uses tele but stalked my online status and asked if im talking to anyone from the game because he said “you always online before you start playing”.

I also noticed he joined the game’s facebook private group that i was in, even though he doesn’t play the game.

Some other incidents that also shooked me:

1) Asked me who’s this guy that frequently likes my facebook posts, insisted that the guy wants my attention.

2) Said my ig numbers increased, asked who followed me and who i followed. He said he’s not stalking, just sensitive to numbers. I screenshot my “most recent follows” to show him it’s a glitch, but he was still doubtful.

3) From time to time ask me “any guys message or talk to you on Facebook recently?”.

4) Whenever we have an argument he’ll spam call and msg until i have no choice but to answer the call even though i dont wanna. Even when i was on holiday with my family he kept spamming until i picked up. Still got some other incidents but i lazy to type already.

Is this normal? Are these red flags? Please help a troubled sis out.

Here are what netizens think:

• One day he’s going to make you wear only ugly outfits, ask you to take videos to see there are no other guys around, not allow you to go to the gym/fitness classes where there are men around, not allow you to hang out with your friends if there’s guys in a group (even if they may be your friends boyfriends/husbands), and send you everywhere to make sure the person you are meeting is not male.

• Normal for young kids. When you get older he’ll be like ‘yay go play your game, I can do my things in peace.’ Or ‘ he likes you? Good luck to him then’.

• Have a chat with him and tell him how u really feel and that he has issues to be fixed if he still wants this relationship to go long term. Definitely many insecurity from past incidents and he has to heal that. You cant fix him but you can help him realise he needs fixing and ask him get professional help if needed

• Like what others say, he’s possessive and insecure. Plan your exit asap. He will likely stalk you and make things difficult for you when you attempt to leave him. Get support from friends and family.

–

As I sat on the couch scrolling through my phone, I couldn’t help but feel a little jealous.

My girlfriend, Sarah, was sitting next to me, fully absorbed in an online game with one of her colleagues.

She had been spending more and more time on the game lately, and I felt like I was being left out.

At first, I didn’t mind. I knew that Sarah was a gamer at heart and I enjoyed watching her play. But as the weeks went on, I noticed that she was playing the game more often, and for longer periods of time. She would come home from work and immediately start playing, only taking breaks to eat and go to the bathroom.

I tried to talk to Sarah about it, but she brushed me off. She told me that she was just having fun and that I was being overly possessive. But I couldn’t shake the feeling that something was off. I didn’t like the idea of Sarah spending so much time with one of her colleagues, and I definitely didn’t like the thought of her ignoring me for a game.

One night, after Sarah had spent hours playing the game, I decided that I had had enough. I stormed into the living room and demanded that she quit her job. Sarah was shocked and outraged. She told me that I had no right to tell her what to do, and that she loved her job and her colleagues.

But I was determined. I couldn’t stand the thought of Sarah spending all of her time with someone else, and I was willing to do whatever it took to make her see that. I threatened to break up with her if she didn’t quit her job, and after a long and heated argument, Sarah reluctantly agreed.

The next day, Sarah handed in her resignation and I felt a sense of satisfaction. I had won the argument and Sarah was now mine again. But as the days went by, I realized that my victory came at a cost. Sarah was miserable without her job, and the spark that once made our relationship so special was now gone.

I knew that I had made a mistake, but it was too late to take it back. I had forced Sarah to give up the thing that she loved, and now we were both unhappy. I couldn’t help but wonder if our relationship would ever be the same again.

My husband started acting strangely upon my sister’s pregnancy announcement.

I feel like I’m going crazy here thinking about it. My husband and I were at my parents house for dinner. All was going well.

We were talking, laughing and eating. But as soon as my sister got from her seat and announced her pregnancy. I noticed at first that my husband got quiet, didn’t get up to congratulate her since the rest of us did, and just kept staring at or towards her I’m not entirely sure.

I repeatedly asked if he was okay and he mumbled about feeling a bit sick. That was strange because he was perfectly fine that day.

Literally, moments later he started throwing up. Like I had no idea what was happening with him. He sat on the bathroom floor near the toilet just looking down and refusing to let me help him up to wash his face.

I kept asking him if he was okay but no response. My family were worried about him and I had to take him home. I checked his temp and blood pressure but all were normal.

Still complete silence on his part. He went to sleep shortly after and in the early morning at 5:30. I woke up to the sound of him crying in the shower. I rushed in asking if he was okay but still no response other than tell me he needed a minute with himself.

I almost lost it demanding he explain what was going on and he told me he was just feeling overwhelmed…from what?!?! He’s not the type who gets stressed out from work or anything of the sort. This is just so strange and out of character of him. He got dressed and left then refused to even talk about it.

I can’t help but feel like this reaction was trigged by my sister’s pregnancy announcement since this is all started right after she made it.

What makes me feel so horrible is the fact that my sister once implied that my husband was her type and hoped to get someone like him. She has a boyfriend btw. This could be nothing but I can’t shake this weird feeling about what happened.

Netizens’ comments

• Remind me 9 months
• Talk to your sister.
• Does he feel strongly about having kids with you, or not having kids with you? I agree with the others who suggested he might b the father, but I’m trying to think of other reasons for his reaction. Please update us, OP!
• 1.Either your husband has been harbouring love for your sister and he’s devastated she’s having a baby with someone else.
  2.You and your husband want a baby and he’s jealous she’s pregnant already
  3.Your husband is the father of your sisters baby
• My ex fiancé used to throw up when he was getting close to getting caught about cheating. Looking back the throw up or feeling like you’re going to throw up is definitely not a normal reaction. I didn’t think anything of it at the time because I didn’t think he was capable of cheating. I thought it was his medical conditions.

SG ❤️ – someone returned my lost wallet

Went out for a run this morning and 10km later realised my wallet had managed to fall out of my pocket. I walked back the last 2km or so of the run without seeing it and realised it would be very unlikely to find it that way. Went home and put blocks on my cards, applied for a replacement IC.

6pm tonight I was on a work call when someone rang the doorbell. He said his employee had found the wallet this morning outside their business and passed it to him.

There was a few hundred dollars untouched in the wallet, all my cards there, and he refused to take a reward for his effort going out of his way to drop it off.

Some days you just have to wonder at how great people in this city are. Thank you Singapore!

Netizens’ comments

• I’ve noticed this about Singapore where I’ve left things at busy restaurants by mistake, went back several hours later to either find it untouched or picked up and kept aside by the staff. It’s a really comforting feeling!
• Dropped my wallet on a feeder bus, on concession so didn’t tap out and didn’t even realise it was gone, woke up next morning by my sister who said a couple came by to return my wallet :’)
• Experienced this today as well! Not me, but my dad misplaced his wallet in a rental car. He didn’t even notice it! Till some kind souls drove all the way to our place to return the wallet. Thankful that we do have great young people around!
• Had a good meal and left my work laptop at a restaurant. Sauntered out satisfied from my meal and was window shopping for 15minutes when I thought about the work I need to do at home. Then something felt amiss and my laptop to do my work is missing. I ran back to restaurant and the staff handed it back to me…. Whew…

My friend and I travelled to the Philippines from Oct – Nov. We were supposed to travel on another flight to one of the islands there, but due to the typhoon, our flight was delayed and subsequently cancelled much later.

We were stranded in the airport for about 18 hours and were given the option of a replacement flight which is not inline with our travel schedule, so we did not take it.

When we came back to Singapore, we wanted to make claims for our mishap.

My friend got his claim in just 3 days, no questions asked for $300, while mine, which took almost a month, was concluded at only $78, for cost of flight ticket that was cancelled.

When asked, they said they will only reimburse for the flight tickets only for trip disruption and not trip delay, because we did not take up the replacement flight (this is not stated on the T&C).

I asked for further explanation on what is their interpretation of trip delay, but that was not offered any.

So any advice on this? Can we also claim for the hotels that we have to booked in place of our pre-booked hotel because we didn’t make it to the island? Or can we claim for the hours we spent in the airport?

(PS. the claim officer in FWD was extremely hostile in asking my friend to return them the excess amount after reviewing my case, which my friend did return, albeit not even a word of apology from them)

My widow mother want to go everywhere with my husband and I and it drives me crazy

My father died 5 years ago ever since then my mom has been my responsibility. She sold her house and moved into the same neighbourhood as me which I was against from the start.

When my husband and I go grocery shopping or anywhere she wants to come. She calls me first thing in the morning on Saturdays to ask what we are doing. We want to go away for a weekend she wants to come. She calls every night to see what we are having for dinner. If we go out to eat she has to come with us.

I feel smothered here I moved out only a few month before my father died and now I feel like we might as well still live together. I feel like I have to make sure she is fed and she has groceries. If I tell her she can’t come somewhere with us she mopes. I lie to her about where we are and what we are going and I feel terrible about.

I didn’t answer her phone call so she called me 4 more times texted me twice and started blowing up my husbands phone all in the span of 10 mins. We haven’t gone on a honeymoon yet because she keeps saying she wants to come because she has no one to travel with.

She has a part time job and friends there. When I ask her why she doesn’t hang out with them she tells me they are just work friends not real friends.

I can’t take it anymore I am an adult I need to live me own life away from my mother I need space. But at the same time I feel terrible because she is a window and alone. I also feel bad because she my only parent and I need to spend time with her while she is still here or i will regret it for the rest of my life.

The worst part is I have an older brother that doesn’t do anything for her . He’s been to her home once since she moved in. She goes over and she watches his kids every weeknight for a few hours then leaves his house and immediately calls me to hound me for dinner.

I’m so sick of it I don’t know what to do here. I know she is a widow and alone but I need to have my own life. I also feel a bit resentful because I feel like I never got to deal with my dads death properly because I spent so much time and effort worrying about her.

How do you go through life as a person who isn’t academically inclined?

Been failing my whole life.

Got a shitty psle score, went into Normal Academic

Got a really bad N level grade

Did really bad for ITE in both Nitec and Higher Nitec

I’m in a part-time course in poly and its not looking so good either

I don’t really know what my options are with navigating life and I feel so trapped and lost

Netizens’ comments

• Not everyone is paper smart, some are more hands on street smart ppl.
  Find what you’re good at and use that to your advantage.
• It’s about self-awareness first. Are you not “academically inclined” because of:
  Too dumb to understand the academic content
  Bad familial and social environment
  Lazy/unmotivated about life in general
  If it’s the first 2 then there is still hope for you. If it’s the last one then you’re screwed.
• What is something that you enjoy doing? Something that interests you, energizes you, makes you feel happy doing, something you’re passionate about.
  There’re always tonnes of possibilities to be in a field that you love that generates income, if you hang on to the determination to find that possibility and believe there’s something out there for you. Don’t give up OP, give yourself a chance to try all sorts of opportunities. You are definitely made for something that you’re gonna be good at.
• I understand your feelings, but just because you aren’t “academically inclined” (I say this with inverted commas cuz tbh I feel the education system doesn’t cater to everyone well), doesn’t mean you are screwed for life. There is always a way to navigate thru life, you will find it. I believe in you.
  Are there things you enjoy doing? Activities that you can do with confidence yet learn something new and the time just flies by super quick? Maybe that’s where your niche lies. Maybe you could take baby steps by doing some part time work/internships in this niche? Or take a free online course to learn more about it.
  Also, not sure if relevant, but don’t compare yourself to others. You go at your own journey. There is nothing right or wrong in that.
• like many have said, grades isn’t everything. but at the same time, i can’t help but think you didn’t try hard enough. nobody is born stupid (less those with mental disabilities, bless them), singapore’s education system may not be perfect, but i think it’s one of the best you can get in terms of “level playing field”. till you decide to buck up and work harder – be it in sch now or when you are at work, your chance at success is getting slimmer as days past. only you know yourself what you can do better kid. be honest to yourself, nobody owes u anything. just don’t regret later on. all the best.

When to treat your first date?

So I met a sgprean girl through dating app. We talked everyday and she was damn enthu on the chat. It was a good 9-hour date. I also treated her to almost all of the activities.

Sadly, i’m being ghosted and she doesn’t even bother to offer a split bill. How do I approach this situation? It was a big amount of money.

What should I do if a girl does not offer to split bill? Felt kena scammed here…

Here are what netizens think:

• Just spend within your means next time. No need to go all out since you’re only meeting for the first time and barely know each other.

• I think is the person la. I will only split or pay for it if I have no intention to see the person anymore. Like I will insist to pay, so he don’t say, last time I treat, this time your turn. I don’t even want that conversation. Lol.

• first date should be short and sweet. a meal to get to know each other and that’s it. at most, simple dessert after if things go well.

• My goodness, how much did you spend? There are dates who only want freebies, so please spend within your means. If you are going to an expensive place and want to split the bill, best to discuss about that first before the date. And avoid dining at MBS or other tourist places.

• Bro – u use the word treat. Meaning it is a gift or showcase of your generosity. If want to be a stingy guy, don’t skirt chase. Want to go Dutch then say upfront before meeting. Don’t gaslight Liao then cry mother cry father cry whisperer. We just read and laugh at your expense.

Attracted to my (33F) friend who is 10 years older than me (23M)

I’m 23, we met about 2 months ago through some common friends. Since then, we’ve been speaking with each other almost everyday, and went out a couple of times with that same group of friends.

Last time we went out (with that same group) to a couple of bars and had some drinks. she held my arm and said that she was afraid to fall since the sidewalk was slippery.

She would immediately grab me as soon as we left a bar, even though there were plenty of people there with her age that could hold her.

She already said that she feels comfortable around me and i can tell that she doesn’t mind when our lips are like 2 cm a part (usually happens at the club since the music is so loud) and being touchy.

At the same time she could also just really like me as a friend and since im really bad at reading people i’ve come to ask for your help.

Tomorrow we are going to watch a movie so i might get more hints as to where i’m standing.