My girlfriend of 5years broke up with me, we had a daughter together but didn’t ROM because of many complication.

I found out before the start of 2023 that she was not gonna ROM with me in 2023 and want leave me silently when she get her own flat.

I told her I found out that she no longer love me and want to leave me. She told me that the reason she’s leaving me is because I never care enough for her and our daughter, I never work hard enough and I can’t kick my gambling addiction and i always rather stay out with friends that going home to them.

I used to think that Once i have her, I’ll never lose her but now I regret because she is serious about leaving. I tried to tell her to give me another chance, i am willing to change for the better, for our daughter and her but she tell me that she will not be coming back even if i change.

She still allow me to see our daughter but any topic about me and my girlfriend would be cut off or end up with texts telling me not to try to fix things.

I am not sure if i am able to let go.

I still want to work on myself, change for the better for our daughter and her but knowing she will never come back has cause countless night of evil thoughts thinking about if she will come back in future.

Here are what netizens think:

• It’s time to stop thinking only about yourself.

• It takes a lot of courage to give birth without marriage and I applaud her for that. She knows what she wants and she gave it all. But you gave none. Instead of taking the easy way out being suicidal, start working hard and take up the responsibility to provide a better life for your daughter.

• Why must wait for people to want to leave then decide to change. You should have just changed at the start of the relationship especially so at the birth of your daughter.

• Unless you change for the better, whatever you type here is just nothing but blaming.

• Focus on your gambling habit first.. Once this is change.. Maybe there chance being together being a new you.. She must have given up on your gambling and outing habit.. Don’t ever think of sucial thoughts.. Be brave to change for yourself and not got others

Screwed my secretary after she resigned

For around 4 years I had a secretary who was a single mom. I helped her out every now and then because she had a child and she didn’t earn very much.

She eventually found another job and I asked her for dinner before she left. We were able to admit to each other that if only the circumstances were different (like if we werent co-workers or if she was single and childless), maybe we could have dated.

Had a few drinks at the bar after and we went to my apartment. She said she also wanted to have a good memory of us before she left and wanted to thank me in some way for all the help I gave her without asking for anything in return.

It was one of the most intense hook ups I had maybe because there was also years worth of unspoken attraction built up. We did it raw and she let me finish inside since she was on birth control pills.

Now that she’s gone we still chat once in a while. As much as I wish we were able to do it earlier and more often.

How do I (31M) be delicate but firm and honest about my pregnant GF (27F) wish to be a Stay at Home Mom?
Disclaimer first: There is nothing wrong with being a Stay at home Mom/Dad

There are lots of situations where it makes sense for that couple

1. One partner makes enough to support a Family
2. The partner that works is just too busy and never home and someone needs to takes the primary role of home keeper
3. That stay at home parent likes doing the household duties

Point 3 is what I am going to harp on. I make enough to potentially support her and a baby. I work remotely so it’s not like I would never be home.

My GF is lazy and complains about everything. There isn’t an aspect of life that she doesn’t complain about

1. She hates working. There is not a day she is not complaining constantly about something from work or them actually having her do what her job entails
2. She hates cooking. Her diet consists of McDonald’s, some microwaveable food and instant noodles…
3. She hates cleaning. Her apartment is a mess
4. Too lazy and tired to walk her dog. Takes the dog a few steps from the house to go poop and back inside. If the dog doesn’t go poop immediately she gets pissed

How the F is she expecting to be a SAHM when she can’t even handle this stuff when she doesn’t even have a kid?

Idk how to firmly but delicately say I don’t want to financially, physically and mentally support her as a SAHM. I know I am going to have to do everything if she gets her way.

This pregnancy was not planned btw. Completely unplanned, I’m trying to make the best of it. I was honestly going to break up with her before finding out she was pregnant.

Life swap from jc to Uni: I became them and they became me

It’s amazing how the lives of me and my friends can turn upside down within years. I don’t know about hormonal/mental health/medical reasons, but me and them SWAPPED upside down?

I am not who I used to be.

When I was in JC, I was the only one in class who had a boyfriend. Nobody else in class had boyfriends, everyone else was focused on studying.

From the age of 16-19 (ie before university), I was healthy and happy. I used to be super into romance novels and movies, I think I saw about 20 per year? And I used to (yeah past tense) cry a lot at the sad and touching parts where the rest of my jc mates felt absolutely nothing. I was the only one who shed so much tears at romantic films and even songs.

In that time, I was the only A in class for a lot of subjects. I was the top few in my jc class for A levels.

Then, my life took a sharp turn and I could barely recognise myself. Throughout University and even work, I NEVER had a boyfriend any more. I lost complete interest. My jc mates who never had a crush on anyone found boyfriends in University, while I was left single.

every time friends gathered to discuss their “targets”, I’d be sitting there with a BLANK LOOK. I suddenly realised that I have not had a crush on ANYONE in years and I forgot what the feeling was.

I’d still go for outings and gatherings with everyone but just as friends, I can’t pinpoint a single person to “love”. This lost feeling followed me until graduation and into work.

One by one, my jc friends who previously never had boyfriends all got married. Even the one who never had a crush from jc all the way until University, met her Prince Charming at work and married young. The introverted one who only talked to a few girls found her husband in church. The one who aspired to be a nun since 17, is now married to a long term boyfriend she met at University.

I watched as their tears flowed down at their weddings, while I sat there dry eyed each time, thinking”this used to be me. Why can’t I feel anything now?” After age 20, my tears of being touched suddenly stopped flowing, the feels stopped coming, and I never was interested in a single romance movie.

Without the ability to love, My grades went all the way down, and I barely scraped past the honours. No more A for any module.

Youth is so beautiful. I miss being young. How did these friends suddenly go from asexual and aromantic to happily married? Are they truly in love or did they just pick someone who loves them without them loving the other party back?

What’s going on?

Just wondering if normal/okay for land lord who are staying with you to just do something without informing you on the costs.

“A” ever got locked out of room because she forgot to bring out her keys. She suggested to her landlord that she will look for a lock smith and that she will make the payment for this instead.

However, her landlord didn’t care and just hammered her doorknob out and said he will settle it the next day.

“A” mentioned to her landlord not to worry and she can settle this by herself with him in the house when the locksmith is here so it’s more assuring for him since it’s his flat.

Her landlord said no to it as he claimed that he does this since he’s doing a reno company.

“A” asked for the cost and he said he will send her an “invoice” after that which turned out to be a message from his personal number on WhatsApp.

“A” waited till the evening for his employees(s) to head down to fix it since she doesn’t likes strangers in her room with her belongings unattended.

Her landlord then texted her unless than an hour immediately stating that he’s fixed and she has to pay him $150.

When “A” questioned on the price because he refused to tell her until the job is being done. She told him that it was out of the budget range she thought a locksmith would charge.

He just insisted that he’s a businessman so no choice. In the end, she just paid him the amount to avoid any conflict.

In addition, her landlord(a couple) were only nicer when it’s nearing the end of the 1 year contract so they could both agree to renew it. They typically don’t acknowledge her presence which I guess is quite normal since they all just mind their own business.

However, one month into the renewal of the contract, they became a complete asshole to “A” by picking on her unnecessarily and disrespecting despite doing everything the same way over the past 1 year.

They even played the race card, “my house, my rules” and “I’m a boss, I have 30+ people working under me and I earn millions of dollars. It takes a lot for people to reach this level” kinda stuff even though “A” didn’t even get to talk when they were harassing her when she’s otw out to do her stuff and asked if it’s possible to talk after she’s done settling her stuff.

Funny thing is, even a delivery person who was doing his job said that he didn’t like the attitude of the landlord when he was just trying to make sure her item was delivered safely.

He told the delivery person to just leave it outside his flat which eventually got left till late night unattended. The same delivery person who sent another parcel before this incident said that the landlord took into the house the parcel at first but when “A” got back, the item was left unattended outside.

Just knowing this left me thinking like why do such people exists? It’s okay for people to have some agreements on how certain things gotta be like so everyone can be at peace but is this fella just being an insecure and egoistic person who just likes to make the life of others difficult?

I didn’t know it can be such a hassle for people to be as a landlord/tenant despite following the rules and being polite. I guess the landlord is going to find trouble with “A” after she moves out according to the agreement in their contract when it’s time.

Would she need to pay for anything if he “claims” that she damaged or stained any thing like the wall/floor even if she didn’t do it? And her contract doesn’t has such a clause?

My (M24) girlfriend (F23) has had a recent, annoying obsession with trying to outcompete me in all sorts of intellectual games.

She brings me crosswords, puzzles, logic riddles, math problems, and gets frustrated when I outdo her 95% of the time.

She even begs me to play chess and other “intelligent” games, but throws a tantrum every time she loses.

I really don’t know what’s gotten into her. She literally used to tell me that she liked me because I was very smart, and that guys dumber than her repulsed her. But now she is suddenly upset about it?

I told her after a chess game yesterday to stop testing me and just accept that I am smarter than her at these types of games, and she started crying and called me a condescending a-hole.

I tried explaining to her that she has other strengths where she outdoes me by far and there’s no use competing over unimportant things like this, but it seems the damage was done.

Netizens’ comments

• so sad when a 23 has tantrums when losing a game. If you cannot handle it,stop playing. Why did uou continue playing with her? Maybe you could initiate to do the things she excels at. Make her feel better about herself.
• One of my ex-spouses tried to compete with me intellectually after we’d been together for over a year. My intelligence was what they claimed attracted them to me at first.
  Choosing to challenge me at games where I had more knowledge and experience was not a smart move on their part. That made the ex-spouse the AH. But I never said the kinds of things you said.
  Tell your GF that you do not want to compete with her. You want to help each other improve your abilities.
• She sounds immensely insecure in her intelligence, and seems to understand very little about the definitions around intelligence in general if she thinks little games are going to be objectively quantifying markers that she can use to determine who she is smarter than and dumber than. The fact it even matters to her this much just screams toxic insecurity to me. Toxic insecurity is actually the most generous description I can give to her behavior here, because this sounds like far more deep seated problems with her than basic insecurity.

It’s always the loudest people who are the dumbest. She seems to be aware on some level that she’s not as smart as she wants to be in this lifetime, and instead of actually working on that she’s dead set on trying to “prove” she’s at least smarter than those around her to feel better about herself.

I’m obviously biased, I wouldn’t stay in a relationship with somebody like this, but I’m not going to tell you to break up over this either. I mean, per her logic you’re a condescending ah despite the fact she’s been repeatedly and obsessively going out of her way to try and prove to herself she’s smarter than you? While also telling you she’s “repulsed” by men that she perceives as “dumber” than herself? In your position I’d be sitting there wondering if there ever came a time where this person started consistently “winning” these games against me, would that be their indicator to then break up with me? They beat me, therefore I’m dumber than them, therefore I’m repulsive? According to that incredibly weak excuse for logic anyway.

If she wants to be a genius amongst geniuses, then it doesn’t even start with these little logic games and math problems. It starts and stems from having a deep vested passion in education and applying learned knowledge in every facet of your life. It grows with open-mindedness and cognitive flexibility, two things this person clearly doesn’t have. The most intelligent people I know are all deeply passionate in their particular arenas of education. I’ve known architects who can describe the most convoluted jargon about a regular looking building to me with shining eyes. I’ve known a legitimate musical genius who could almost instantly figure out how to play any instrument put in front of him. I’ve known a genius in mathematics who was given grants on the fly because he happened to DOODLE an idea for an algorithm that ended up revolutionizing something in his niche of research (don’t even ask me to get into what he figured out, I could barely understand what he was describing to me at the time anyway). He didn’t get that grant because he’s naturally gifted, he was working hard in his education in this specific field of mathematics and robotics. I’d be willing to bet good money that every single one of these people are far more intelligent than your girlfriend in these specific arenas, and they may not win every single one of these little games she brings up to them, but that wouldn’t make her smarter than them nor would it make her dumber than them.

I don’t even know what advice to give you on how to approach this situation, because you’ve done literally nothing wrong and there’s no right combination of words that’s going to snap her out of these baseless beliefs and obsessions until she herself realizes that what she’s doing is wrong and not an indicator of an intelligent person. Intelligent people aren’t desperate to prove just how intelligent they are, especially in comparison to others.

I had been dating a woman from Batam for the past few months and I had developed feelings for her.

She had told me that she was single and that she lived with her elderly parents, so I thought it was the perfect opportunity to make a grand gesture and show her how much I cared.

I had saved up a large sum of money, and I decided to give her $100,000 to show her my commitment.

I had no doubt that she would be grateful for such a generous gift, and I was sure that it would help her get back on her feet.

When I arrived in Batam, I took her to a nice restaurant for a romantic dinner. We talked for hours, and I could tell that she was impressed with my gesture.

She thanked me repeatedly and said that she was truly touched by my kindness.

We went back to her place and I asked her if there was anything else she needed.

She said that she needed more money as her elderly parents’ health was not very good, and I offered to give her more money.

She thanked me profusely and gave me a kiss and more when I handed over more money to her.

The next day while I was walking along the streets, I noticed a man staring at me intently.

He approached me and told me that he was mistress’ husband.

He told me to back off from her and threatened me that he has a gang over there.

It turned out that my mistress and her husband has been doing this to cheat many unsuspecting men, mostly Singaporeans like me who think with their ‘smaller head’ instead of the bigger head.

I was shocked and embarrassed, and at the same time, I was humiliated and heartbroken and I felt like a fool for believing her lies. I had given away all of my savings, and I had nothing to show for it.

This incident taught me a valuable lesson. I had been blinded by love, and I had failed to do my due diligence. I had assumed that she was telling me the truth, but I was wrong.