My (29F) mum (50) has been ‘seeing’ this guy D for a couple months.

She lives with my older sister while she works. I found out about my mum and D through my sister even though my mum had told her not to say anything about them to any of us siblings (there’s 5 of us).

I have never met D and only know little about him from what my sister tells me. A few weeks ago I went to town for a girl’s night with my friends I invited my mum along since I hadn’t seen her in a while and wanted to catch up while I was there.

By this time my sister had told my mum that I knew about D so I specifically told my mum it was a girl’s night we were not bringing partners. She was super excited and was like yep definitely just girls. So we go to our first cocktail bar and we’re having a good time singing karaoke and I notice this guy hanging out by my mum but walking away when I would come back to the table and one of my friends even mention like “hey I think that guy is flirting with your mum’ and we have a laugh and carry on then we go to the next bar and 15mins later that same guy is there with my mum again so mum and I are in the bathroom together at one point and I’m like ‘hey, is that D?’

And she was like yeah I told him where we were.

I was like mum it’s a girl’s night!! We didn’t argue or anything she just giggled and walked back out to him and I carried on karokeing with my friends and mum. I was getting drunk and having a good time and didn’t think it a good time for introductions with D so we didn’t meet that night.

Anyway fast forward 2 weeks to last night and I rang mum to ask if she could make some food for Christmas (I’m hosting Christmas this year so all my siblings families and mum are coming and all though I will be providing the whole main courses I have asked each family to bring a dessert) anyway I call her up and she says oh yeah D and I will bring a steam pudding.

I was like hold on a second D is not coming. She asked why and I said well I know very little about him considering you’re keeping him a secret from us this whole time and the only thing I do know about him is that he crashed our girl’s night.

I just don’t think Christmas is the time to meet this guy you’ve been seeing for only 2 months. Maybe you guys could host a BBQ in the new year and we’ll come to that and meet him. She then said she wouldn’t come to Christmas cause he’s not invited and I’m an A-hole cause now she’s missing out on Christmas with her kids and grandkids because I won’t let him come too.

I am in love with two women and I want to marry both of them.

Now please before you judge me for possibly cheating on both of them well it’s kinda complicated. So it all started when I met my first girlfriend let’s call her Cay (name changed for privacy purposes)

we dated for close to 2 years on and off before she completely blocked me out of nowhere

after she blocked me, I waited for her to respond. days turned into weeks and weeks turned into months and almost 8 months went, and during that time I started dating my second girlfriend let’s call her Mel (her name also changed) and honestly I was happy to finally found love again after my heart got shattered pretty much when Cay blocked me.

While I was dating Mel (5+ months since I started dating Mel) suddenly one day I got a ping on my social media there was a message from Cay.

she proceed by saying sorry that she blocked me out of nowhere then she told me why she blocked me. I got to know her family was not happy with me dating her so she had to block me.

Well I had mixed emotions when I finally did receive a message from Cay. Since now I was dating Mel I politely told her that I am dating someone else now.

She accepted the fact that I have found love again and we can’t be together. But I guess faith had other plans for me.

Months following this conversation my life took a bit of a turmoil in regards to my relationship with Mel we started arguing a lot mainly because I wanted to settle down with her and she was not ready for that.

Honestly I watited for 1 year + just to give her time to think but to my dismay she was still not ready to get settle down with me.

I finally told Mel that I need a break it’s not working out. A month after I broke up with Mel I felt like texting Cay asking what she is up to.

She was excited to see my message she quickly replied to my message she also confessed that she tried dating some people but she always had deep feelings for me so those other relationships never really worked out for her so she asked me to rekindle our relationship.

As I had the same feelings towards Cay and I recently broke off with Mel I had no reason not to get back with Cay I was honestly happy knowing that Cay still had deep feelings for me we started dating again.

Between June and August I got a text from Mel asking how I am I told her as usual that I am fine also told her that I really wanted to settle down with her.

She told me she wasn’t ready and still isn’t ready to settle down with anyone. I respected her decisions and ended that conversation there.

While I got back with Cay I was frequently getting texts from Mel as well even though she wasn’t ready to settle down she told me she loved me and she wanted us to get back together, although I should have said no since I was with Cay, but I said yes instead since I too had feelings for Mel.

and from then point on I am dating both Mel and Cay.

Well I honestly love both of them and I never had the courage to tell them about this mainly because I always thought this would break their heart.

Now years later I have gotten so further in the relationship with both of them that I feel like marrying both of them.

I know this means telling them about me dating both of them but I am willing to take this risk before I regret not taking it.

I understand that It might lead to them breaking up with me but I still feel like now it’s time they should know.

Is it even allowed for the supervisor to put me on a 7 work days shift when I am only supposed to do a 6 work days shift?

Basically I am new to the job, and the supervisor put me on a 7 days work week from Thursday to Wednesday with the following Thursday being my off.

I did asked my supervisor and he said that the first week (Thurs, Fri, Sat, Sun) is considered a week hence i only did 4 work days then Mon, Tues, Weds is considered the second week.

But I am working 7 days straight shouldn’t I get my off within that 7 days? (there is no OT pay oso)

Netizens’ comments

1. Your supervisor is allowed to do so. It is also possible you might even get a monday off, then sunday off in the next week, making you work 12 days in a row.
2. Ya the logic is not wrong

1 day a week off, surely will hv times work 7 days or more then off

1 week is from mon to sunday, not calculating 7 days from whichever day you start

as long as from mon to sunday, 1 day off, is it legal and correct

sometimes they need manpower may schedule longer consecutive workdays, 1 time i worked for 2 weeks straight lol, but the following week will compensate the 2 original off days, meaning 3 off the 3rd week. They will discuss w u first, if really cannot then say no.

if you dont like the schedule, find a 5 day work job or another job, there are alot of jobs now.

Is sleeping with someone while separated cheating?

Me and the wife separated almost a year ago. We agreed not sleep with anyone until we got a divorce just in case we worked it out.

We pretended to live like we weren’t. I still paid the bills, we still slept together, still did holidays together.

Long story short, she’s been sleeping with someone pretty much the whole time. She claims it’s not cheating since we were separated.

I’m not for sure what to think anymore. Just numb.

Netizens’ comments

• Cheating or no, this should pretty much kill the working things out option.
• She lied and betrayed your trust. Arguing over the label is pointless.
  If you are separated it was unwise to pretend to live like you weren’t because this situation was likely to happen.
  Now you know it’s the right decision to end it.
• Of course she is cheating. The both of you had an agreement to not sleep with anyone during the separation, she is breaking that agreement.
  I would say the separation is over and you should proceed with divorce.
• Well everyone’s perception and idea of what constitutes cheating is different and whilst I will say her breaking her end of the agreement is pretty shitty and she should’ve had the decency to be upfront, I think after a year it’s as good as done.

I am in my 30s, married with a young child and currently working at a company in an office role that I genuinely like.

Some of the things that I like are – Working arrangements are flexible, no dress code, working relationship with the boss is great, doesn’t micromanage, the office is quite near mrt and the walking journey is sheltered.

The only thing is that the pay for my role is lower (by at least 20%) than what i know to be the market rate (based on input from peers and salary ranges on mycareersfuture).

I have reached out to my boss regarding this and he said that he will see what he can do.

Latest news was that HR is working out the numbers and have not gotten back to him. It’s been a month since I reached out. Given the recession, I would say that I do not have high hopes/expectations on the outcome. My wife thinks that I should just get out there and look for better paying opportunities.

She is not pushy on this, which is great.

Is it selfish of me to not want to look for other better paying opportunities? My primary concern is having to give up my current working conditions in exchange for the increased salary which might not be sustainable (e.g. Harsher working conditions, not flexible, etc).

What would be a good % jump (in salary) in your opinion for me to heck it all and make the plunge to look for a new role in the great unknown?

Here are what netizens think:

• The risk is that you could get paid 20% but then your working hours also increase 20%. And you might have crappy bosses/colleagues, inflexible working arrangements etc…

• there is no magic number here. Most ppl jump for a 10-20% increment. But the actual workload, office politics etc can only be seen after you joined. So that is a risk. Some ppl deal with those better some prefer a comfort zone in current company.

• If i am getting by comfortable already, I wont move. Its not about the money, I’d rather have all the working condition rather than 20% extra.

Asking for my fiance, how to deal with narc peri-menopausal future MIL that will scold and preach not to do certain things then go do the exact same thing, and never ever apologise?

“I don’t want to say sorry!” – my mother, even when clearly she’s in the wrong, but still blames my partner for something totally ????.

(For context, she shouted at my partner for blocking her fan. Yes. Blocking her fan wind. I was shocked. I thought she thought she was shouting at me, but she knew it was him. And still shouted at him to move. Told her after she’s totally in the wrong for that, she says that he did that on purpose, either that or he is inconsiderate for blocking her fan accidentally/ unknowingly. Siao.)

Today she has said to me that she doesn’t like me (not the first time she’s told me this; I know long ago so I don’t care) and my partner (27M) too. Apparently he’s “changed” and last time used to like him now cannot stand him. Started to warn me about all men are the same, will change after marriage etc. (Projection much?), that she just trying to protect me etc. Lol.

BTO ready only years later, I can’t stay at their place because of…reasons. Only he can come and stay. Initial plan was rental, but too ex for us, then changed to once a week stay over even after ROM.

How ah?

Im not new to having friends with benefits (FWB). From all the guys ive been fwb with, he is the first to ever asked for keys, wanted me to cook for him, and he even asked me to wash his shirt that he used for gym. (Note: i never cooked nor washed his laundry but he keeps requesting it from me).

Im at a loss. Granted, we never discussed what our relationship status was but i always assumed he knew from the start that it was a fwb situation because i asked him to come to my place on our first date and whenever i message him it was always for him to come over (in the middle of the night). And we met on a dating app.

A few days prior, he invited me over to a party. The party consisted two of his closest childhood friends. I didnt come to the party by the way because i thought it would be weird for us to hangout if we r not sleeping together.

The next day i asked him how the party was and he said it was all right. I said im sorry i couldnt come as i was busy (i really am not) and he said its all right.. he said he was just thankful to me. I dont know what he meant by that but i didnt ask how come he was thankful. I just said “really?” And he said “really.”

I asked him “why? im pretty rude to you most of the time” and he said “its ok, still thankful”

So i dont know what this means. Is he trying to turn this into a relationship or is he developing feelings?

Can i ask for any advice on how to ask him how he feels or should i wait it out and see if he asks me to dtr? Thanks!!

Edit: I never cooked for him. I never did his laundry. I never gave him keys to my home.

He is 39 turning 40 i just turned 28. He is a professional athlete and im a law student.

(First I just want to acknowledge that in the grand scheme of things, this is a far better problem to have than so many people have here and I realize I’m lucky in that sense, but I still just need to vent.)

I’m a guy and I think I give up on being with women. I’m throwing in the towel. The reason is simply because I have a small manhood, I mean really small. I realize I’m far from the first guy to have this problem or to vent about it, I know that because I’ve read their posts and seen people trying to make them feel better, but the problem is their encouragements just don’t ring true to me.

I get it, girls don’t need guys with a huge peepee to come, the most sensitive areas are just a few inches in, it’s how you use it, you can also do oral and use fingers and toys, etc. But the fact is, most girls like the feeling of, well, being filled, and I can’t come close to that. Moreover, part of intimacy is that attraction to the other person, it’s like how you eat with your eyes before you eat with your mouth when it comes to food. Well, I have nothing on my plate and can’t expect a girl to be attracted to down there.

I also understand that there is more to life, but intimacy is part of life. Here’s the thing, if I really like a girl, I want the best for her. I don’t want her to have to “settle” in such a huge way for me. I don’t to feel like she could do better in this big aspect of life and she has to sacrifice just because she likes me.

So I’ve been in relationships. I’ve been dumped because of this, and I’ve had the other end with the girl soldiers on and “settles” for me but I feel too guilty to continue. And I’m just snapping. I give up. I don’t feel like a man. I’ve started to explore feminization and cuckold fetishes simply because I feel like at least then this massive failure might be a good thing? I know I’m not making sense but basically I hate that I love women but feel like I’m not equipped, literally, to be a fully satisfying partner.

One of the HDB flats next to me, not sure if it’s the above immediately above or by the sides likes to play loud music at late hours into the night.

Sometimes around midnight, sometimes at 3 am or 5 am.

Anyways, one time I lost my cool and shouted out the window to shut the F up because it was around 4 am and they were blasting loud music on their phone while showering. Because I didn’t know which neighbour exactly, I just yelled “whoever playing the loud music, shut up, I’m trying to sleep”.

Of course, I shouldn’t have reacted in that manner.

Anyways, it stopped for a while after that but now has resumed.

I am wondering what official and legal measures I can take to scare the living sheet out of my neighbor so that he stops.

Call the cops on them? NEA? Please give me any information on how to put the fear of God in them BUT only through proper means.

I don’t want to end up becoming a nuisance myself in dealing with these inconsiderate bastards.

I don’t want to fight fire with fire.

Here are what netizens think:

Had this same problem like yours as well but for my case, I know the culprit. Email HDB with video prove and HDB replied, “we have contacted the unit and they deny any noise.

Called the non emergency police number. They took the details but didn’t bother to visit the unit.

So what I did, I shouted at them over the window because I lost my cool and they kept their volume low for now.

Tbh, there’s nothing we can do about them. Authorities are useless as well. Sometimes you just have to fight fire with fire.

No use, CMC and CDRT is useless. You can solve your problem by buying a noise cancelling headphone or a pair ear plugs.

These kind of inconsiderate people are like pests, they need negative reinforcements. Find the bathroom, it should be the only few lit up at these ungodly hours. Fling something that won’t break their bathroom windows.

Otherwise, get really thick sound absorbing black curtains and a good pair of earplugs. You can get them for pretty cheap on Shopee, try those and if they don’t work well, get customized earplugs from Faith Hearing, around $160 the last time I went.

Singaporean guys, are you ever into older girls? What about those girls make you want to date them?

Just recently graduated from uni and started a new job. Its been 2 months into my new job and I realised that there are 2 guys who seem interested in me and they are much younger than me.

I’m 24, one of them is 20 (just recently ORD) and another one really doesn’t one to declare his age to me and even told me does age even matters (He told me he is still serving NS).

These guys will tend to go up to my desk to have conversations and disturb me at times. This shocks me cause I have always been into older guys or maybe don’t mind someone 1 year younger than me.

But these 2 guys one being 4 years apart, how can they still be interested in me after I declared my age to them.

Cause I have always thought that guys prefer younger girls. Never ever once thought that younger guys will be into me until I started working

Netizens’ comments

• One of my friends married his wife who is 16 years his senior. He was 30, she was 46.
  Sometimes guys really truly love their wife regardless of age or wrinkles. Sometimes guys are just thinking with the small head and if you’re attractive even at an older age they’d still try.
  Those guys probably find you attractive in one way or another.
• Both under 25. ROFL. I thought this was a 40 year old and 25 year olds