I resent my husband for being praised as the best dad while I (mom) do the brunt of the work.

I (30f) and husband (35m) have a daughter (3). Since day one, everybody has praised my husband saying things like “You’re such a good daddy” or “she’s so lucky to have you as her daddy”.

Never once has anybody said the same to me about being a mom. Lately, it’s been eating away at me.

He boasts about being a good dad, and he is fairly good. But I still do the brunt of the work.

I rearrange my work schedule to accommodate everything for our daughter. I do most of the childcare except on rare occasions I run to the store and she stays with dad.

He acts like I’m dramatic about the stressful days but he hasn’t been alone with her for more than a few hours at a time since she was born.

I work from home and she stays home with me while I work… So I’m working my 40 hour a week job and being a sahm and running a small business from our house.

Just once it’d be nice to be acknowledged for all I do. I feel like I’m just going to throw up if I have to hear one more time how good of a dad he is.

I know I shouldn’t feel this way, but I do and I don’t know how to stop or how to tell anybody what I truly need without coming across as insane.

Netizens’ comments

1. Talk to him. Tell him youre very close to burnout and that will implode your family. Tell him just how overwhelmed you are. Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable and raw about it. Try not to get angry cause that never helps but ask him to step up. And be consistent. Do not step in if fcks something up or forgets. Send him to the shops with your child, take consistently time off. Do it for yourself and do it for your daughter. Happy mums make happy children. And just be sure it’s perfectly normal to feel this way.
2. Nah, you’re fine.
   I am the one in my house who takes the kids to the dentist. Just about every time.
   Every time my wife goes to the dentist, the whole place shuts down while everyone who works there (100% women) all come to talk to her about how lucky she is, because I’m the only dad who brings the kids in, and I do it every time, and how does she get me to do it, and my god that must be so amazing, she is so lucky to have such an amazing husband.
   My wife operates at 125% at all times. She does way more than me. Kids lessons are more than 50% her. Dinners are more than 50% her. I do a lot, and most of our tasks are split in some way, and there are a bunch of other things that only I do, and I will do anything else that she specifically asks me to do, but I simply am not as ridiculously productive and effective as her. I don’t think I could ever do what she does.
   The people at the dentist’s office don’t see that. They just see me showing up one day with two kids, and then her showing up another day alone. And they tell her how awesome that is. And she comes home pissed off, every single time.
   I get it.

Is it too late for University or career change?

Hi everyone

As the title stated, I (31M) am having a lot of thoughts whether is it ever too late go back to studying as I only hold a diploma.

I thought of writing this post would help me narrow down to a more specific outlook that’s based in Singapore itself as I felt Google answers are rather a little bit too “optimistic” in my opinion.

I work in a specific industry where I feel the skills are too niche and felt lacking in myself as I grow older.

I thought of changing my career to expand the skill sets that I have. In terms of salary, I feel like it’s barely sufficient for my age, but still managing well as long as I keep my expenses in check.

But every now and then, I tend to question whether it is as people around my personal circle tend to get higher and better salary with better company benefits when comparing.

Hence, one of the reasons why I am having these thoughts.

How do people afford condos?

I was curious about housing prices (and because singles can’t buy hdb until 35), so I took a look at the other options besides staying with parents = condo

Then I see that condo prices are 1M-2M minimum

Wow! So how do people actually afford that?

If someone earns 10K a month = 120K a year, it would still take them at least 10 years (assuming 100% savings, which is impossible) to afford one.

And does that mean all condo owners in SG are millionaires?

How does this work? Are SGeans just rich?

Netizens’ comments

• They pay for the condos over many years, lol. The last I heard is that the max mortgage period is 30 years.
  So on a 10k salary, one would save up for a few years for the downpayment before getting a massive mortgage.
• The problem is usually with the down-payment and fees. With a 10K salary I ran the numbers on a bank loan calculator and the maximum loan amount is estimated to be $1M over 30 years.
  Up to 75% of a condo price can be paid through mortgage, so the real problem here is finding the other $300K in cash and CPF for the down-payment and fees. Once you have that, you can technically own a condo priced at $1.3M. This is stretching things real thin though with a maxed out TDSR.
• Technically, “all” you need to afford a 1m condo is the following.
  25% downpayment = $250,000 cash + CPF
  75% loan over 30 years (max) = ~$3,000+ per month, which can be partially covered by CPF.
  If you can cough out the downpayment, the loan is not difficult to pay at all, just that you’ll be tied down for 30 years.
• If you can service the debt you can afford anything
  The real question is how do Singaporean afford high end cars. Almost the price of a 3 room HDB and then have to scrap after 10 years.

Is it normal to be asked for specific reasons for taking my annual leave?

This is my first job, and also the first time my team lead is leading a team. Not sure if it’s the norm, he wants the team to send him an email asking for approval with specific reason before submitting our leave request via HR system.

This feels weird? I am entitled to my AL, why do I have to justify why I am taking my leave?

Edit: To provide more context, it’s only a 1-day leave, not extended leave/ overseas leave

Netizens’ comments

• Technically it’s none of their business to know what you’re doing on your AL. You could just indicate personal family matters or overseas vacation.
• hey youre right, it’s your entitlement and i dont think it’s the norm.
  i only had this same request from the HR in my first job (a family run SME) which i simply put “personal matters” as the reason. for my subsequent jobs, i havent had managers asking me for reasons whenever i applied for AL.
• This happens more often than not when people get some powers and step beyond their boundaries, asking for things they shouldn’t need to ask.
  It’s very subjective, there’s no normal because in the same company different managers will have different requirements.
  Actually the fact that AL needs to be approved should be changed too. If we’re supposed to get our AL, then all it takes should be a submission and it ends there. No need for final approval by manager.
• Playing the devil’s advocate here, maybe he needs the information so he can answer to his boss when his higher-ups ask him “oh you team so and so on break ah? what happen?”.
  Honestly, this kind of practice may just come from the top. If the top dog is very nosy, then the underling all buay song also have to accept :/

I was devastated when my husband lost his job as an engineer.

We had been together for 6 years and married for 2, and we had planned on growing our family soon.

He had been working for the same company for the past 5 years, and I knew that he was going to get a promotion soon. But unfortunately, the company suddenly went bankrupt and he was one of the many who lost their jobs.

He tried his best to find another job but those were few and far between. Eventually, he had to take up a job as a Grab driver, which was a far cry from his previous job.

He was still unable to find another engineering job, and this became his only source of income.

I was worried about how this would affect our marriage, as I knew how proud he was of his job. The money he made from Grab was not enough to cover our expenses, and he had to take on extra hours just to make ends meet.

He was always exhausted from the long hours and he was rarely home. I felt like I was slowly losing him, and I was deeply hurt by this.

I had to take up a part-time job to help out with our finances, but this only added to the strain in our marriage.

We rarely had time to talk, and when we did, it was always about money. I felt like he had shut me out, and I was slowly falling out of love with him.

I decided to talk to him about it, but he was so wrapped up in the new job that he barely acknowledged me. I knew that he was doing his best to provide for us, but I could feel that he had become distant. He was no longer the man that I had married, and I could no longer stay in this marriage.

After a lot of thought, I decided to file for a divorce. He was shocked when I told him, but he understood my decision. We had grown apart and I felt that this was the best way for us to move forward.

The divorce process was tough, but we eventually settled our differences and went our separate ways. I was sad to see him go, but I knew that it was for the best. He is now doing much better as a Grab driver, and I hope that he finds happiness in his new life.

While it was a difficult decision, I know that it was the right one. We both had changed and the love that we once shared was no longer there. I’m glad that we were able to part on good terms, and I will always cherish the memories that we shared together.

It was a sunny Saturday morning when I made the realization that I was officially in my 40s.

As I reflected on my life thus far, one of my biggest accomplishments was that I had finally managed to find myself a girlfriend.

Although I was ecstatic to have someone to share my life with, I was also overwhelmed by the fact that I had to now learn how to properly clean my privates. It was something I had managed to avoid learning all my life, but with a girlfriend now in the picture, I knew I had to find the answer to my hygiene problem.

The thing was, I had never been taught how to clean them.

I screamed in pain when she pulled my skin down and there was a large amount of “Cream cheese” stuck there.

I knew that when you shower, you should wash your hands and body, but I had never been told how to properly clean my privates. I was so embarrassed about my lack of knowledge on the subject that I didn’t feel comfortable asking anyone for advice. Instead, I decided to try and figure it out on my own.

I had heard from some of my friends that it was important to wash your rod every day. So I began my quest to learn how to do that. I started by researching online and came across a lot of information on the subject. After reading through a few articles, I realized that it was important to use a mild soap and warm water when washing my little brother.

I also learned that it was important to pull back my foreskin to make sure I was getting a thorough clean.

I felt more confident that I was now equipped with the knowledge I needed to properly clean it. But little did I know, I was still missing a key element in my hygiene routine. One day after showering, I noticed that there was a strange white substance stuck to the inside of my foreskin. I thought I had done a thorough job of cleaning myself, so I was confused as to what it could be.

After a few days of trying to figure out what the substance was, I finally realized that it was “cream cheese”.

I had completely forgotten that I had eaten a sandwich before my shower and some of the “cream cheese” had gotten stuck to my foreskin. It was a strange sensation to have something inside my body that I had no idea how to remove.

Thankfully, I was able to find a website that explained how to properly clean your remove “cream cheese” from the foreskin. It said to first use a mild soap and warm water to wash the area, then to pull back your foreskin and use a cotton swab to gently scrape away the cream cheese.

I was so relieved to finally have an answer to my problem.