I met this guy not even a week ago and he has already told me “he will be my friend until he dies”, he is constantly spam texting me, he works nearby so he always comes in on his hour break, and he acts arrogantly a lot and brags about things he’s done.

I don’t want to be his friend, what do I do? He says he doesn’t want a relationship with me, but it sure feels like it and I don’t want one with him.

I don’t even really want a friendship with him because it’s taken me a back at the whole “he will always be there for me” and we JUST met like five days ago.

He also constantly compliments me and puts other women down while doing so. It makes me upset and uncomfortable.

How do I go about this?😭 he came in to my job just now and I rlly didn’t put much effort into the convo so he left pretty early.

Will he get the hint? How do I tell him I don’t want to be his friend without being mean? I don’t want him to retaliate out of embarrassment or smthn bc he knows where I work😭

he seems way too obsessed with me for just five days of knowing me fR

When to be honest and when to not?

I have always been the shy, quiet perso who obviously lacks communication skills and sometimes rather just exit silently.

Sometimes people hate it that I don’t tell them. What’s wrong but often I feel it’s obvious. (Maybe it’s just obvious to me?!)

I grew up in a very very traditional family whereby the male or the “head of family” have the say and as a female, I should take the back row. Doesn’t help when my father is egoistic and have too much pride.

I often caught my father or someone else in situations that they’re wrong – like stealing or cutting queue or being unreasonable…etc

I usually just kept quiet. The only few times I did spoke up (to my dad), ended either in quarrels or cold war, as in he got so angry that he took it out on my mother and sibling as well. He always give all of us cold shoulders or throw items of someone/switch off the electricity from the power supply just to show his unhappiness and authority. Basically, “all for one”; one person anger him, everyone gets punished.

My sibling and I don’t earn much and much of our earnings goes back to our parents and the family expenses. My mother have chronic illness which requires regular checkups and medicines, so hard for us to move out.

Problem is, it’s affecting everyone now that he is getting more used to us giving in to him to avoid argument and having other members dragged into it. My mother is also getting less tolerant of him and quarrels more often with him.

I got tired coming back from work to someone switching the main power off randomly or having to pick my items out from the dustbin. I really wish to tell him honestly how childish and annoying he is but I know things will get really nasty because

1) I might not be able to regulate my temper well enough if he pounced, get defensive and come up with his rubbish excuses and blaming techniques (“the seller is rude so I don’t return his plate to the tray return!”, “Police won’t catch me since it’s only one small item and I am an elder!”)

2) someone is bound to come in to “add on” – esp my sibling who chooses to stay over at his friend more than at home

3) I don’t like confrontation… And I do feel it’s not going to do anything to the situation…

If it’s you, what would you do?

I’m 25 but due to genetics I didn’t have a choice in, I look like I’m 35 so I started telling people I’m 45 so I get treated better and I’m telling you I should have started doing this when I was 15.

Female. I don’t smoke tobacco (I did for like 2 months when I was 19 and haven’t touched them since). I don’t smoke anything really.

I very rarely drink, maybe less than 5 times a year on average. I eat clean, drink plenty of water, moisturize, work out, stay out of the sun for long periods of time, etc. I have done everything under the moon to be healthy.

But because of hereditary genetics, I have gigantic bags under my eyes, an elongated face due to my bone structure, and visible pores. I have never heard someone say I look young.

People constantly ask me if I’m tired (I’m really not). I just got so sick of being self conscious about this I just started telling everyone new that I meet that I’m 20 years older than I really am so I look like an older woman that took really good care of themselves.

I moved to a different area and I’m not on social media so that made it easy to get away with it.

I cannot believe how right about my insecurities I was. I get treated better. Moral of the story, if you look young, cherish it because you’re more privileged than you know.

Men, how do you feel about other women when you’re in a relationship?

I’ve hit a wall with my bf of 3 months and I need your perspective if this is how truly all man feel. And from women, if you would be comfortable with hearing those things from your own boyfriends.

It started from my boyfriend not giving me compliments, while he spoke about his coworker “it’s not like she isn’t attractive” to “what I meant is she’s beautiful”. For me this crossed a line and the more we talked, the worse it got.

We’ve been having conversations the last days with him trying to explain what he actually meant. The things he’s said so far are:

“I’m a man, so I feel attraction to other women. There’s always some slight interest towards other women, I will always want to sleep with them.”

He proceeded to explain that when he sees attractive women he “sees the potential of them as a girlfriend, but now that he has me he doesn’t have to worry about it.”

My stomach is in a knot, I feel really uncomfortable and think that this is really wrong, but I’m unable to articulate it myself why. I can recognise other men being good looking, but when I’m in a relationship I don’t see other good looking men as “potential boyfriends if I was single”. I don’t feel “attraction” or have “interest” in them.

He kept trying to explain and said there’s always a “urge” to other women. When he asked me how I view good looking people, I said I see that they are good looking but that’s it. I just see people. He said I’m “just stopping my thoughts before exploring them”.

Can you please give me an outside perspective, I feel like this is massively wrong but I’m unable to articulate my position better.