I am a 24F, and like many others i felt like living is a rat race, also i can’t help but feel so anxious about my future. Growing up, i have always been very self sufficient with a very humbling background.

Prior to this, i joined a startup company and was initially hoping things will really grow and i can earn my first bag of “Gold”. However, i became unaligned with the company after two years, and realised that it was not what i wanted. My boss did not had the experience/resources to expand fast enough.

I got very worried a lot about what should i do with my life. Prior to quitting, i was humbled by my boss that i shouldn expect too much because I was not a university graduate. I felt like that statement really hurt me, considering the amount of effort I’ve put in to help my boss along the company’s journey.

Few months later, i managed to secure a job at the same salary and now i’m en route to get my degree as well. Yet, i can’t help but feel like i am so behind in life and i don’t know if a degree really guarantees me a better shot at life.

Netizens’ comments

1. You’re worrying too much. Just focus on your own skillset and putting yourself in a place where you can make the most of them. There will be failures along the way and you will never be good as most of the people you are comparing yourself to which is perfectly fine
2. With the current market situation, the problem of high cost of living in Singapore is very real. My wife and I have also decided on not having kids and start saving up for healthcare and retirement early so that we will have enough to live by when we grow old. The last thing we really want is to work until old age/death
3. Everyone is on their own journey. I keep repeating this to myself when I feel like I‘m not doing enough at my age

How did you pay for your HDB home renovation?

Im planning to purchase a 4 room resale flat and do a simple renovation, essentially the kitchen, bathrooms, build in wardrobe for the MBR and tilings.

I’ve learnt that the average renovation costs (excluding furnitures) for a 4 room resale would be ~$50k. Unless you inherited wealth from your predecessors, how on earth do you afford to pay $50k reno (especially for young adults)?

It would take me and my partner years to save that amt, considering we also have our own financial commitments.

How did you pay for your renovation? Did you apply for a reno loan, did you pay half by cash and remaining amt by an interest free reno loan, or did you pay everything by cash?

Here are what netizens think:

• depends on when you’re getting your HDB. me and my partner saved for almost 11 years in order to afford our current hdb + reno … we are both in our early 30s

• of course if you guys are getting it around 25 there will be less spare money to play around with.

• don’t be fooled with all those 100k+ reno, those people probably either high earner or their second house alrd

• It’s the carpentry that is costly. If you want to shave off abit off the reno, I would suggest to focus reno only on the essentials, which is kitchen and toilet. Maybe a wardrobe in the MBR. Spend the rest on loose furniture.

• Buying furniture, especially from IKEA, instead of floor to ceiling shelves and storage can be alot cheaper. Quality and design has gotten better over the years, but always keep ikea surfaces dry as they bloat with water damage easily.

• Live in for a few years and decide if you really need customised shelving in the living room.

• Yes to IKEA! The Billy Oxberg and Ivar series can be great for floor to ceiling shelves while looking modern. Besta series is great for tv console, shoe cabinet etc too. It’s about choosing a good combination of doors and legs. The Kyrre stools look very stylish and can be used as side tables too. It has a designer vibe to it IMO. Nordiska bedside table looks quite trendy and is so much cheaper at $99. I can’t believe bedside tables elsewhere cost $200-300

I broke my boyfriend and I just want him back

Me(24F) and this guy(23M) have been dating for 3 months.

A few weeks ago he started talking about marriage, I told him “it’s too soon, I’m committed but we can’t be talking about this yet” and then he started talking about trying for a baby and I said the same thing to him.

Since then he’s been super distant. Doesn’t express his emotions anymore, doesn’t talk about the future, it’s like we’ve reverted back to the talking stage.

When I try to bring it up, he’s like “no I’m fine I don’t want to bother you”

I just want the sweet boy he was back

Netizens’ comments

• THREEE MONTHS READ THAT WITH ME THREEEEEEEE MONTHS.
  You’re not even living together and he wants marriage and kids.
  Why would he go break his own heart, if you said no to marriage ….WHY WOULD HE ASK FOR KIDS
• I dunno my partner and I established in the first week that marriage and kids was something we both wanted down the line. We both wanted to because we both didn’t want to waste time getting into a relationship where that wasn’t the plan. Knowing what we both wanted has been really healthy for our relationship.
  It’s fine to set boundaries about when you want to have certain types of discussions, but there is no one size fits all for deciding when these types of discussions occur.
• In less then 3 months and talking about marriage and kids and then icing because he doesn’t get what he wants? Quite a lot of red flags. Would be very wary of him, doesn’t sound like he is a sweet boy. In the early stages of love you do your best to show the best version of yourself and you only see the better points after a while you start seeing the real version and also notice the bad points. think you started seeing them already.

A letter to my future husband

Dear future husband,

Thanks for being there for me when I needed it most

I flourished under your care & withered with your absence

You guided me like how the moon guided the tide

With your presence, I was emotionally nourished like never before

Life without you is/was almost meaningless

Life with you, even when it’s at a distance/platonic, is something I cherish every moment

I tried to let things go, thinking that someone else could make me as happy just like you did

It just didn’t happen

Happiness came naturally when I’m with you (I love how you made me happy effortlessly)

Very soon I realized that

Love can’t be forced

We find happiness only when we’re with the right person.

Here are what netizens think:

• Focus on being independent and build up yourself before becoming interdependent.. a good foundation will be vital to a good marriage. Your poetry is kinda confusing actually. Haha.

• Calm down . Don’t be so dependant until the world revolves around him. Love with your heart but don’t lose yourself when loving someone

• Focus on being independent and build up yourself before becoming interdependent.. a good foundation will be vital to a good marriage.

• So the “future” husband was an ex?? Buay understand.

• You sound like your some emo person, stop dreaming lah

If you are sick, don’t come into work

I can’t believe I have to say this in 2022, especially since my work has the option of working from home. So I am part time in the office, I come in on Monday and am in line at the cafeteria. The guy in front of me apologizes to the cashier because he’s so sick he lost his voice. Ooookay?

I get to my desk and set up, guy at the next desk has a bad cough, the lady across the room can’t stop sneezing. I can hear people in respiratory distress all over the place. They are not even masked up. So I packed up and went home.

I am NOT getting Covid again because these idiots can’t be asked to at LEAST work from home when sick. Or take a sick day, I don’t care. GTFO. And we have a mandatory three hour all hands meeting next with with a couple hundred people packed into a conference room, IN PERSON.

This is unacceptable. It is like 2020 2021 never happened. Remember when we could only eat with others with a plexiglass wall between us? Remember having to prove you didn’t have a fever just to get in the door? Remember mandatory masking? Remember social distancing? REMEMBER STAYING HOME WHEN YOU ARE SICK? What was it all for?

As far as I know Covid never went away and now we are in the middle of flu season. I see this as a failure of management as much as a failure of common sense and I will be bringing it up to management.

Been in my job for about a year and i’m starting to feel really jaded about my job (from colleagues, to the culture, job scope etc). The only thing i’m looking forward to everyday is ending work, weekends, and payday.

Some days are more bearable than others. On certain days, i feel like ending work the moment i step into the office.

I can’t find any joy or sparks in this job at all (except for some freedom from my boss), as she doesn’t micromanage me on a daily basis.

Every week the only day i enjoy fully is on Sat, cos on Sunday i would start feeling the blues from starting work next day.

It doesn’t help that i have certain colleagues here that enjoy playing politics/stirring sh*t within my department, and make our work life even more unbearable.

Would you hold out longer if you feel this way about your job? Or are you equally jaded and just waiting for the day to pass, or for the weekends/holidays?

Netizens’ comments

• I feel damn jaded too. I think im burnt out and hence am clearing leave to see if it helps. If i come back still feel jaded, then time to quit. Take 2 to 3 mth break and find a new role after that.
• Was in a job where I kept asking myself “Do I want to be doing this for the rest of my life?”
  Promotion or not it’s still the same job, just more responsibilities and expectations.
  My answer to my question is no, as I didn’t look forward to work and cannot stand bosses that only want to squeeze out every last drop of productivity from me without proper reward or recognition.
• Contrary to popular belief, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with only looking forward to COB, weekends or payday actually; your workplace isn’t your life. It does help to feel great at the workplace, but don’t beat yourself up if you don’t!
  Personally I feel what’s more important is having a reason for a job in the first place. Obviously you need to eat, pay rent, etc, but being focused on personal growth in terms of hobbies or skill development is just as, if not more, important.
  Is it possible that you’re not really jaded about the job, but the workplace (employees, culture, environment) and the assignments you’ve been given? You mentioned politics and sh*t stirring, so perhaps it’s the people that you’re around which affects you more than the industry/job itself.

grab driver forgot to press pick up until halfway through the ride?

I boarded the grab on time, didn’t incur any added charges but halfway through the ride i got a notification stating that i had incurred an additional $6 even though i was already on the grab.

Told the uncle about it and he said he forgot to press, and pressed it infront of me. He said to split it and he’ll give me $3 cash but I said i’ll just contact grab instead.

He didn’t want to involve grab but i’m thinking to do so anyway cause i don’t want to pay an additional $3 for something that isn’t my mistake(?).

Netizens’ comments

• Record your conversation now. Tell the uncle you will report to grab if he doesn’t pay you $6
• Split lan, he will then earn the $3 , just talk to grab.
• Why would you want to split if it’s not your fault though? I don’t get the rationale. I would say report to grab.
• Oh gosh.. I guess it’s true, this is a new scam tactic done by some notorious grab drivers. They simply pretend that they forget to press the pick up button as the fee you incur will be directly transferred to them. 😐
• Walao whether or not the uncle genuinely forgot, his logic to split damn champion. Some brains are more smooth than others
• Complain to grab. Next time take screenshots in the middle of the journey to prove you’re alr on the ride — make sure can see the start/end pins and your locator pin. If your notifications still have the [“your driver has arrived” – xx mins ago] i would screenshot that too. Basically give grab whatever info you can.

Bf (24M) told me (24F) I’m not as attractive as his ex

I(24F) have been with my bf(24F) for almost a year. This is the best relationship I’ve ever had. He’s sweet, thoughtful, and pretty much everything I’ve ever wanted in a partner. I can truly see myself spending the rest of my life with this person, getting married someday, having kids together.

Lately he’s been kind of distant though, so I brought it up to him and asked him if everything was ok. I was expecting him to just tell me he’s kind of stressed, he does seem kind of stressed from work. But instead he told me he hasn’t really felt inspired to spend time with me because I”m not as beautiful as his ex. But he also still loves me, and thinks I’m a much nicer person, with the best personality he’s ever seen.

I’m really hurt, but I don’t know if I should be. It is just simply true that I’m not as pretty as the ex. Like she’s literally gorgeous. Before this comment it’s never really been a big deal to me, I know I’m pretty average, but he’s choosing to be with me right now. Also I guess if I really think about it my bf isn’t conventionally attractive, but the difference is I never even thought to compare him to any of my exes, or to anyone else I’ve seen. He’s the most attractive possible person to me because of who he is, inside out. Isn’t that kind of the same thing? And shouldn’t my personality matter more, which he says is better? So why am I so hurt?

I told him that I was really hurt, and he apologized, but says that it’s just how it is. I don’t know where to go from here.

Sorry if this doesn’t really make sense, it’s really making a mess of my head

Difficult traveling partners

Bg: we’re a group of 4 adults in our late 20s who are friend for 10 years or more!

We often travel together to Malaysia for a one day trip or 2D1N. We have a fix driver, a female who enjoys driving and a back up driver.

The driver have a brother who is 4 years her senior. We know her brother (B) but is not close with him.

Anyways we decided on a 2D1N trip to Melaka and B decided to join us since he have to clear leave. Our driver was quite hesitant but it still happened.

When the trip started, we understand Why.

Her brother is the kind if super spoiled child. And worst, the kind that didn’t went through army training (managed to siam with doctor letter of an old injury + some acting)! Anyways, don’t know the details.

Also not saying all males that didn’t went through army is as spoiled as him!!

Back to story, he is very temperamental like something random can trigger him. We booked a AirBNB with 2 rooms. One of which have a 2 bunk beds.

Being the only 2 females, we are allocated the room with a queen size bed. The guys sleep in the room with bunk beds.

B went all quiet about the decision but he probably think it’s too ‘unmanly’ to snatch the room from 2 females. Especially with all the other guys agreeing.

The next morning, he kept asking for Teh but there’s none at the place we took breakfast and we drove to another cafe to let him have his Teh but then the cafe was closed. We suggested Starbubks or Coffee Bean but he say they’re expensive and not as nice. In the end we decided to go to the souvenir shop first then try to find Teh for him. But his face black already.

Later it was his one man show – showing how a man baby is like! Basically kept throwing unpopular and insulting ‘jokes’ whenever we tried to get him involved in our conversations and whenever we try to lift up the mood.

We thought it’s just a one time off incident that it could be a bad/tiring day for him bt we quickly know it’s always! And his tantrums just get worst – TV volume turn ip to 20+ When 13 is loud enough, not eating etc.

On the night of our last day, he sort of argued with his sister and then refused to help pack the luggage. In the end we all help him pack just to leave on time as planned.

Now we are planning another shot trip and he wants to join us too. Wondering how to turn him down without my friend kena sia…