Hello, I (F non local) am keen to date Singaporean guy as I find they r more nice compare to guys from my country.

But after several dates, I find hard to tell their intention and whther they like me also or not. Some of my girl friends also say the same, easier to tell non Singaporean intention when dating.

Is it just us or is it true that Singaporean guys dont always open with their feeling? Then how do I tell if he likes me too or not?

This is genuine question, pls dont judge me as I really want to understand.

My interest is also genuine and personal, as I mentioned, I find Singaporean guys r more nice compare to guys from my country, not because of material.

I have proper job here in Singapore, so its not material related. Thank you!

Netizens’ comments

• Have you tried asking them directly?
• Maybe the guys are more reserved and don’t want to scare you off. Could try being a little more direct. Many guys are morons when it comes to understanding the hints
• In Singapore guys are no expressive of their emotions and what they want. Asking head on is the best answer to your problems Guys are pretty quiet in general even if their talkative they won’t actually say much about their own personal desires
• SG guys r trained not to be expressive towards girls. Coz SG girls r so easily triggered. So it’s always better to just keep our mouth shut.
• I am more of an unexpressive person myself, like I generally do not openly express my feelings as it takes a lot of courage for me to do so, and of course only when I really think it’s the right person (often times the gut feeling is wrong lol). But I do have majority of my friends who are expressive and initiating when it comes to rs

At wits end with girlfriend

I’m a 30M and my gf is 29F. Been in a relationship for 4 going 5 years and at the start, it was fine hearing her complain about her bad days to me. I thought this was just sharing days with each other. But this went on every day and its not an exaggeration.

Everyday she will call me and whine about her day over the smallest things. I am generally a positive guy, happy go lucky and try not to let bad things in life get to me.

I listen to her and support her, telling her these things happen and try not to take them to heart. And there are sometimes where we get into countless arguments over the same thing: me telling her to stop whining and complaining about the smallest thing and her telling me why can’t I be supportive.

Thing is, when do you stop being a supportive boyfriend and start being used as an emotional therapist and punching bag for her to unload all those negativity onto? I usually listen and be supportive for 30mins or so before I cant take it and just walk away asking her for us to stop talking and calm down first. This wouldn’t be that bad if she allows us to calm down but she doesn’t. Just spam call and call, text, cry and say she needs someone there. Won’t stop until I call back and when I do call back she will start crying and I get even more pissed off.

This is just a snippet and I’m sure from her POV I should be giving in as a boyfriend. But I really cannot take the negativity every. day. over the smallest things like aunties rushing into trains to snatch seats etc. Am i a bad boyfriend and need to be more patient?

I am 25 (M). My highest qualification is a diploma. I currently serve in the force. Furthermore, I am not an officer so I don’t really earn that much. I just take home about 2.7K every month. I am content with the work I do but not so much about my pay and career progression this far.

I am left with about 3 years of minimum term service. Recently, I was informed that based on various requirements not made known to me, I do not qualify for a sponsorship in further studies even though I have a uni course placing. It’s really depressing as I always thought of myself being on the short end but this gets to me quite a bit. I have lost a lot of confidence in myself over the years.

Due to various developments and circumstances over the years, I don’t have any close friends. In fact, I don’t have any friends at all and it’s been like that for the past 5 and a 1/2 years.

I have never been able to really fit in and at work. I was not able to assimilate myself into any of the existing cliques. So this is the first advice I really need… I don’t really have anyone to do anything with.. What kind of meetup or interest groups are there? I am interested in sports and gaming, so maybe that helps?

Needless to say, my dating life has been really stale and disappointing. Mostly being very disappointed in myself as even when I do things right, even when I don’t make any big mistakes, even when I treat them right and cater to their emotional needs.. It always ends with something along lines of “Next pls”, “There are better options”, “You’re not an option”, “Just another poor guy”, “You’re an okay guy at best but nahhh”, “Not worth the time and investment”.

What’s your experience with dating apps and meeting others from those apps? I tried using them time and time again but I don’t really get any matches.. I do get the occasional match once every 2 weeks but I ‘ve seen someone else at my workplace who gets like 5 everyday, Idk how.. Maybe it’s the pics I use or I need to wear better clothes? Maybe it’s because he showcases his car? What’s your experience with these apps? Are there any other ways to meet potential partners? Perhaps through meetup or interest groups that I alr mentioned?

I’ve been thinking to myself that maybe doing some things solo might not be so bad afterall.. Like solo trips to other countries etc. Any suggestions on activities that are actually more fun to do alone rather than a group?

It more or less seems like I will be the type to live alone and die alone with many regrets.. For a long time, I thought that was okay but I don’t feel that way anymore. Any advice is much appreciated 🙂

If a girl is interested in you, she will never, and I mean, NEVER ask you up front whether you have a crush on her, if at all.

The one thing you must understand is that girls are never direct or straightforward with the guys they like. In your case, it is obvious that you have been showing her too many hints that you are crushing on her pretty bad.

And if she asks you the question, it just means that she has been suspecting this for a long time, and confirmed this with your confession. In my opinion, you have lost this game, and now your “crushing” fate is all up to her mercy. You fell right into her bait; she may now choose what to do with you however she wishes.

Even if she likes you back just a little bit, does not mean that she is willing to be tgt with you. Girls require a lot more than mere “crushes” to be in a relationship with someone.

Hell, even if a girl hates you to the core, she may still want to be together with you if you do the game right —> Now this is why a lot of girls end up with abusive boyfriends.

The number one rule in dating game is never, never ever confess your feeling to the opposite sex.

Whoever confess first, basically admit defeat and resigned their fate to the other’s hands. I can go on and on about what you can do, and should have done but anyway a lot of ppl are probably going disagree with me; besides, everyone has their own relationship journey. So I wish you luck with yours and take this post with a pinch of salt. Hopefully I am wrong and you will have closed the deal in the next few weeks. OR better, just move on and find a new target cuz this girl is just going to play the long game with you. It’s not worth the time. Singapore is small but not that small.

Tl;dr: gg bro.

Usually my time on the mrt is really unproblematic but for the past week I have been confronted by people twice.

First time is red line, old woman shout at me for pausing at the door bc she jam her toes into my heels. But then ppl were walking in oso so I stop cause I don’t wanna crash into them. She scolded me saying stop watching my phone She berated me all the while while I walk down the stairs (also need to mention that she berated me for my size as well, that hurt in particular cause I had just lost 1.7kg).

Next today I remove my mask when I exit the mrt station (in the same building, but passed the gantry and past a 7/11 alr, this is at paya lebar mrt btw if u are familiar with the layout). Then one guy shout at me to wear my mask. Like bruh I cannot even say anything back bc if I do,1)its disrespecting my elders and they wld become the victim, and 2) I wear uniform so they later complain to my school. Furthermore, I always worry that kaypoh ppl gonna complain, so I removed my mask after checking that at least 1 more person had removed theirs. Why he specifically target me instead of the 3 ppl infront of me sia

Its become increasingly annoying bc I am a non confrontational person so I dont talk back but then it also affects me for the whole day after, and today is bad considering that I’m writing my final a lvl ppr. Ik this is not an isolated incident bc students often talk about it on SGExams as well.

Like srsly, how do I deal with such ppl? Anyone got any experience? I oso cannot avoid mrt cause I not rich enough to buy car.

Why do I still miss him

I should classify him as a jerk.

Was in a serious and committed RS this guy for a few months and later found out that he cheated me with another girl.

We had a big fight over it and slowly we became only friend. We still meet occasionally as I still have feeling for him.

Few months later, I found out that he actually had a long term gf for many years, at least more than 5 years. So his gf was actually the big victim and she wasn’t aware about his cheating (must be very trust on him). He wasn’t rich but the gf was very rich.

He didn’t know that I found out bout his gf and I just cut him off after knowing it. We had zero contact.

One month passed now, why am I still miss him and feeling sad most of the time?

Here are what netizens think:

• Keep remind yourself of his bad traits like cheating on u. Forget the gd side n happy moments with him. U can forget him. Take care.

• Simple as that. 男人不坏，女人不爱

• In Cantonese you are defined as a Jin Gak, you like it when people treat you badly.

• Maybe u miss his Bah Tiao

• Why you say serious when it’s only ‘months’ ? Are that tik tok generation where anything more than 10min is considered too long a time span to be focused on

• and here i am completely loyal and truthful and faithful and sincere and genuine and yet… cant get a girlfriend.

Boyfriend finds me simple, and seems to resent me for it. We have been together for 4 years, both in our 20s.

Whenever we find, he tells me how simple-minded I am, that I have the palate of a dog, and he seems to resent me for it.

That I play other video games that he doesn’t play and have not the biggest interest in expanding much.
That I listen to basic/ main stream music and actually enjoying it instead of listening to underground artists.
That I prefer going to concerts once or twice a year instead of going to clubs several times a month.

He’s known my personality for years. He knows I’m happy the way I am (and it’s not like I completely shut down all suggestions, it’s just that sometimes we enjoy things differently).

But calling me simple-minded with such disdain makes me wonder, if he even likes the person I am.

Netizens’ comments

1. Set him free. Free to find someone more to his liking.
   Which will free you to find someone that will treat you with love, respect and dignity.
2. In fact he don’t like that you have your own personality and don’t follow him like a dog!
   Maybe it’s time for you to find a real man who will respect and accept you for who you are rather telling those stupid things! Find a better boyfriend because that one is a huge idiot!!
3. What a pretentious snob. You deserve someone that finds the same joys as you, not someone that undermines you because of your diverging interests.
4. Tell him you find him single.

How should I move on?

I think I have a crush on someone whom I have a direct working relationship with but I am not 100% sure.

Initially, I felt the feelings were mutual or I could be overthinking. He will ask me out for meals but it did not happen because I was afraid to face my true feelings back then, especially in a private setting. So I turned him down with excuses or just simply changed topics.

Our work doesn’t require us to meet as often. We can communicate perfectly through texts but everything went out of focus and I couldn’t even say half the things I wanted whenever I see him in real life.

I think of him every day. I talked about him to my close friends but I have been very mindful to the things I share. He seems to be popular in many people eyes but due to the nature of our work, I get to see the real side of him.

And the more I know, the more I was being drawn to him. Sometimes I just don’t want anyone else to get closer to him. Perhaps I just want to be the person he can share his secrets with, his fears, his plans and his success. Not only me but first me.

I am confused by all these fluctuating feelings knowing how our working relationship will complicate things far worse than what already is. There is no way we can continue working in the same environment regardless of the outcome. It has a direct impact to our careers.

We have a very strong chemistry and connection when it comes to work. We trust each other and I don’t want to destroy it. I believe none of us would want to take that risk.

I really don’t know how to move on. No one else matters to me. I do have options but I find it difficult to even try to start a relationship with someone else. It will unfair to the next guy if this feeling is not completely gone. I have been struggling for more than a year now.

Things are getting quite awkward, at least for me. Not sure if he sensed it. Looking back, I kinda regret not taking the chance at the earlier stage. Many times I thought of giving up but the things he does or say will always pull me back again.

Give me some advice.

Hey guys, just wanted to share an observation that I made about parents in Singapore.

As a mom, I’ve realised that many parents in SG can be really obsessed with posting their kid’s lives online. Even before the baby is born, and can continue up into their toddler, teen and adult years.

I don’t really have anything against parents posting but, some of these posts make me feel really uncomfortable to watch like meltdowns, or just plain embarrassing moments (for the kid).

Personally, I just don’t get why some parents would subject their kids to the dangers of social media before their kids are mature enough to make that decision on their own.

Isn’t the privacy and safety of our kids important? And the consent of the child isn’t something that we are even thinking about here.

What happens when the kid grows up and feels powerless because they were not given the opportunity to control their own social media presence, or embarrassed that there are all these pictures and videos of them that will stay on the internet forever?

I have been very cautious in my own posting due to all these fears. Makes me worry a lot because all I want is to ensure my decision and actions are in the best interest for my child.

Wanted to get the thoughts of people on the web about this. Am I overthinking this? What do y’all think?

I would sincerely like to find out what’s Singaporean guys’ definition of fat too.

I’m 26(F). I would considered myself as medium sized. However, guys around me always like to compare me with other female friends who are super skinny and call me fat or “bui”. Although some of them would apologise afterwards, I still get affected by them.

To give some background, I’m 168cm, 56kg. 33C/26/35. Arm 9 inches, thigh 19 inches. I measure my stats twice a week.

I’ll sleep in during weekends so that I can skip my meals to save some calories. I combine my lunch and dinner at 4 to 5pm on weekends. I will either skip lunch at work on weekdays, or get some fruits while watching my colleagues eating pasta and burgers. Btw, I don’t exercise. I only do simple squats at home to keep my bum firm. I would rather starve than to exercise.

I think I do have both woman’s “assets”. Although I do receive compliments from some people, I’m not satisfied with my current figure. It has come to a point where I rather be alone and not have social activities. I do not want to hang out with a group of skinny girls because I afraid people will compare and judge.

Here are what netizens think:

• When your arms are thicker than my legs

• When you have a piece of meat hanging when your standing and seated down.

• I feel you because it use to be envy. But now I realise its not all bad. In fact eating foods is like going on a holiday. You can still eat them but only during special occasions. They’re never really gone. If you want it you can get it. It feels more rewarding when you eat nice foods occasionally. Better than mindlessly eating whatever you feel like then regretting putting on the pounds later. Foods are too abundant, too accessible and too mainstream.

• Be contented with your figure and no point listening to others.. Your figure is OK lah…. Else u can excerise some of it off lor.. Else stay happy.. Ignore those negative comments

• Maybe your body fat percentage is higher. Or your body shape. Sometimes it’s about body shape and also can be face shape and how skinny your neck is. Some ladies have slim face and neck but body a little curvy, people still consider them slim. But a skinny straight shaped girl with rounded face and shorter neck is considered chubby.