A friend recently pass away from cancer.

He come from a divorced family. He is the only child. He is single.

His father remarry but does not have kids. The father earns quite alot of money but squander away his money buying condominium, car and letting his wife (the stepmother) not to work. The father gives my friend money when he was still a student but the father and stepmother likes to mentally abuse my friend – eg he will insult my friend as lazy when his school results was no good.

His mother did not marry and allow him to stay with her. But she likes money alot. She did not support him when he was a student and ask him to get money from his father. She don’t like him. She likes her siblings (his uncles and aunties) more than him.

Before he uplorry, he told his father he will give all his assets to him as he pay his expenses when he was a student. He told his mother that he will give all his assets to her because he don’t like his father and stepmother.

After he died, the lawyer read out his will.

It says all his money is to be given to charity.

This is because there is no point for him to give his money to his father because he will give it to his disguisting lazy new wife who don’t want to work since 20 years ago and just want to use his father’s money.

There is no point for him to give his money to his mother too. This is because when she pass away, she have no other kids. She loves her siblings so much so she can only give her money to her siblings. When her siblings pass away, they will give the money to their own kids. He have no intention for his assets to go 1 big round and end up giving to his cousins.

The letter also say the father and mother do not have other kids, so it will be the end of the family line. This is punishment from heaven.

The mother and father cried and start quarrelling and fighting among themselves at his funeral.

My boyfriend finished inside of me and I don’t know what to do

My (F22) boyfriend (M23) finished inside of me and I don’t know what to do.

For context, I am not on any contraception and I have let him once before, but have made it clear that I do not want it to happen again.

I understand the risks of having unprotected intercourse, and if it happened accidentally, it would be a different story.

We were doing it and I asked if he could last any longer, to which he agreed. A short amount of time passed and I asked him if he was ready, and he replied he finished a while ago.

I immediately told him to get off me and asked why he’d do that, knowing there was no protection used and I didn’t want him to.

I was upset and told him I didn’t want to be with him and if he couldn’t stay at his friends he was welcome to stay at my apartment and I would go elsewhere.

I have no clue if I was in the wrong for kicking him out, or if I’ve massively overreacted. I think if it was an accident I would no be so angry.

I have no idea what to do, or if i need to to call it off with him.

I’ll preface this by saying that my husband’s family and I don’t get along, like AT ALL. we’re rarely ever on good terms and for my mental health I decided to put distance between us.

Especially after I was blamed for my most recent miscarriage (that happened 3 months ago). My husband can still see and visit them whenever he wants.

For me, I don’t attend any of their events.

My husband’s 30th birthday was 2 days ago. I planned to celebrate with him. I bought a cake and a gift but he said that his family invited him to celebrate his birthday and he “really really really” wanted to go because the birthday parties his family throw are like no others.

We had an argument over this but he told me to wait for him til he finish celebrating there with his family then we could celebrate together at home and eat cake.

After he left I felt so terrible. I called him but he turned his phone off. I was so mad I took the cake and brought it to the living room and started eating from it.

I ate the whole thing not saving him a single piece (guess I was so angry and it made me hungry). He came home and saw what I did and blew up saying I did this to spiteful and to punish him for not “ditching his family on his birthday” like I “wanted him to”.

I reminded him I paid for the cake but he called me petty and nuts. He ranted and ranted then said that he didn’t get to eat cake at his parents house because lots of kids were there and he didn’t get enough cake and what I did was 10 times worse.

he’s been upset with me ever since. 

What are some ridiculous rules/expectations your parents have for you?

Just saw the thread about parents expecting their children to help with technology even though they do nothing help. It got me thinking about what my very Singaporean parents expect from me and my siblings.

Tbh I’m a guy and my parents are pretty chill with me. But for some reason they are crazy controlling of my sister.

She’s 28, working and earning well but has a curfew. She has to be home by 12 no matter what. Like Cinderella except it’s her own parents expecting it.

The consequence? She’s constantly lying and having to have me cover for her when she’s late. I still don’t understand why she has to be home by 12.

My mum takes it up a notch and waits for us to get home before she falls asleep. There was once I got home at 3 and she was up, waiting for me.

What are some rules/ expectations your parents have for you and what is the consequence of it?

Is it wrong to choose to stay single? And if so what are some ways to stay happy and fulfilled in adulthood when not married?

Like idk if I will get married and if I don’t then it’s okay I guess. But for those who choose to stay single (or just couldn’t find someone) do you feel wrong or a failure for not having one?

And what or how do you find happiness and fulfilment in your adult life without being married (apart from having no work-life balance because I’m not like that).

Netizen’s comments

• If you are married, you will wonder if it’s wrong to choose to stay childless. If you then have a child, you will then wonder if it’s wrong to only have one. Truth is, there is no right way to live. The pursuit of happiness is a thoroughly personal journey
• Believing that you will be happy and fulfilled while staying single in this frame of mind is the same as someone who believes likewise to be married. What gives happiness and fulfilment is a combination of factors, up to personal interpretation. No one gives a shit about yourself as much as you do, so that should be your reference for personal happiness and fulfilment.

Year end. Some are switching careers while some who just graduated are about to enter the workforce.

Let’s all share what we are the do’s and don’ts that we have picked up along the way that some others might find helpful.

For me, as a supervisor, as much as it’s good to please your bosses, you should really look after your subordinates and ensure their welfare are taken care of. If you treat them with respect, they will respect you the same way. Don’t use your rank to micromanage as people genuinely hates it.

Here are what netizens think:

There are s-holes everywhere. Ur colleagues are not ur BFF. Don’t trust them with everything unless u want the risk of being backstabbed.

1. Get the basics right. Show up on time, take intensive / verbatim notes, treat people like people (say “hi” to folks you are meeting for the first time, ask if everyone has had lunch at a 1pm meeting etc.), ask questions when you are not sure, basically have strong ownership in everything you do, even ordering lunch, think about dietary preferences etc. ppl will notice
   
2. Stay out of politics. Leave this for your bosses to handle / get clarity on. In the end, he / she manages your performance review so run things through him / her if you ever get into a “huh am I supposed to do this?” conversation
   
3. Go to office when your boss is around. Gonna be honest here, as much as redditors love wfh, if you are managing 20+ ppl and only see 3 ppl in office when you are around, you are gonna pay extra attention to those 3 as simple as that. In the end humans are social creatures and most managers and above started their jobs when wfo was the norm not the exception. Folks in mgmt typically have back to back calendars throughout the day so if he / she ever needs to bounce off an idea, it’s gonna be the random person at the desk vs zoom call
   
4. Get a annual body clock going. Set a month in the middle of the year where you will go on long holiday or take every Friday off, same thing for December. It’s not possible to be high performing the whole year, you need lull periods to tell your body “time to recharge”
   
5. Put FaceTime with seniors you want to emulate. The easiest way to climb the ladder is to understand how and what ppl above think. It might not be your direct mgr, it might be someone else you worked with and thought “shit this guy / girl really knows what is going on” you improve as you get more of those eureka moments and sometimes that might involve you looking stupid but you will improve
   
6. Lastly, take ownership of your own career / life. You got 50 years to work, you want fast promotions? Ask your manager what needs to be done and do it, don’t like his / her answer? Start looking for alternatives / talk to other departments. Feeling like all you do after work is play mobile games? Fuck that, go out for a walk no matter how tired you are. Same for weekends, if you need to sleep, sleep on the grab, tired, go drink coffee, push on and make your life meaningful

I make 6 figures, my husband makes almost nothing

My husband (27M) and I (25F) just got married after 6 years together. We were young and both making very little money up until a year or so ago so financial inequality was not an issue.

However I have been promoted and given hefty raises over the last 2 years. He quit his job a year ago to pursue his passion which I did support – I wanted to be that person for him.

But a year later he has not made any progress toward a liveable income and I have started making more money. I hate my job. I stay for the money.

I wish I could quit and pursue something I want but I know the money I’m my industry is really good.

All of the income inequality articles I find contemplate one partner being a stay at home parent or the income inequality is not a difference of $100,000.

We also live in a very high cost of living area so while my salary is good on paper, it is not much for a two person household.

I grew up without money and I am terrified of being in a bad financial situation. I am starting to resent him and I don’t know what to do.

Has anyone dealt with something similar?

Any tips and advice on how to adapt for someone who just changed to a new job after working for more than 5 years in previous co?

I changed job because i was hitting a plateau in my previous co. I left on a really good note.

Today is day 3 at my new co and i am missing my old colleagues and workplace so much. New co has rlly good colleagues and all so far..

i know im just being irrational to feel sad/ homesick lol. Any tips and advice on how to deal w this? Thanks in advance

Netizens’ comments

• Familiarity can be very appealing, you can try writing down reasons why you left and what you wish to accomplish in the new company, while everything is still fresh. This is a reminder for yourself, whenever you felt the old company seems to be better and you regret the move.
• Left my previous coy of 7 years..
  I was scared unable to adapt as for 7 years I did nothing new, work didn’t require OT, free at work for long periods of time, IC will give answers if you don’t know.
  Now in my new coy for almost a year. OT everyday 1-2 hrs. Now I have dinner and bath will be past 9pm. Shag and frustrated cause not enough manpower, have to find solutions myself. I’m surprised I survive so long to be honest. But I came in with the mindset of learning and wanting to take another step forward in my career. Guess that’s what pushed me everyday.
• find your new office bff. someone you are comfortable with talking nonsense, non work stuff. the person can then help you out in getting you up and running faster
• That takes time. You will get familiar eventually.
  I also changed jobs recently after spending quite a bit of time at my prev coy. So you have to recognise that you are the new one so you need to be more outgoing and engage people if you want to be more familiar. Be first to share etc.

I’m a 35yo kissless, handholdless virgin and I’m going on my first date ever this Saturday.

I’m so unbelievably nervous I almost have a panic attack thinking about it. A female co-worker from another department asked me out on a date and she’s prettier than any woman I ever thought would go for me plus she’s always been friendly to me.

I accepted but holy f I’m already so nervous I feel sick. I don’t know what to say or what to wear or what to do. I’m still in shock I guess.

Women have never shown an interest in me before, literally never. I’m overweight, not that good looking and have been balding since I was 24.

I’m almost afraid this is some kind of prank. She made it clear this is a romantic date and not a platonic one.

I’ve spent all day reeling and I’m actually going clothes shopping today to at least get a nice new shirt. I know the odds are against me here but if I mess this up it won’t be because of how I look.

I’m also getting a haircut too. I’m really happy and excited but I’m also so anxious about it I feel sick to my stomach. Any advice is welcome.