Me (26f) and my husband (33m) have been married for a little over a year. Prior to getting married we lived together for 6 years.

As soon as we got married my husband’s whole personality changed. He went from someone who was caring and supportive to someone who just wanted to control me.

The worst thing about him is his fantasies. He’s said to me I don’t know how many times in the last year that I’m not enough for him. This is why:

1. He wants me to sleep around with other men while he watches, which i outrightly rejected.
2. He insists on me doing ana| constantly and then fights with me because I won’t cry during it. I enjoy it sometimes and other times it’s just uncomfortable or annoying. He says that all of his exes have screamed and cried during it so I should too. (I’ve actually cut an onion and kept it hidden under my breast to force myself to cry so he won’t argue with me).
3. He wants me to pretend to get raped while he watches because he wants me to prove my love for him.

After finding out all of this about him I feel like I married a complete stranger and a psychopath. I do not love him anymore.

I can’t file for divorce because I do not have an income since he won’t allow me to work. I have no family that will take me in. I’m really stuck.

Me (23F) and my bf (24M) have been together for almost 3 years now and we live together.

My bosoms are not non-existent but they are small and I don’t expect them to become any bigger anymore. I have had my struggles with my self-esteem regarding this but I have manged to almost overcome the fact that most people won’t like their size.

My bf has been with average to large-chested girls until me. He likes them big but he has never complained of mine, he gives them attention, finds them hot and so on. However, I know that he doesn’t like them. He only accepts and loves them because they are on me and he loves me.

Last night he asked if I had ever taken anything for my bosoms. I have tried some natural vitamins to try and grow them just a little bit but they did not help. He then said why don’t you try hormones. I said that it will take some tests and time till I get prescribed the right ones and even then they may grow a little but it they will not become double D’s. I said that there are quite a few risks with hormonal therapy even if it is prescribed by a doctor. He said that I should try it.

He knows that I have been struggling for so long with my self-esteem regarding this and that I have decided to just accept them instead of trying to grow them. I understand that he loves bigger girls and bigger chests but why can’t I just be the way I am? I have proposed an open relationship numerous times for the exact same reason – so he can be with women that fit his perfect standards because I do not but he refuses to try this (I have been in an open relationship before so I don’t have any problem with that).

I want to talk to my doctor and only go through with this if me and my doctor decide to because I would also love bigger ones but I feel offended and saddened by this and I am really not sure if I am being reasonable.

I (F28) used to have a great relationship with my husband (M29). We got along well, had several common interests, etc.

However, our relationship began to take a turn over the last year after he started streaming video games on Twitch.

At first it was just a hobby for him, but soon he began to get consumed by streaming. For example, while at first he’d only stream a couple days a week for a few hours at a time, around late November he began spending nearly every minute he wasn’t at work streaming (he doesn’t stream for money).

During this time, we also stopped spending nearly as much time together and our relationship predictably deteriorated. I tried talking to him multiple times about how I felt about how little time he was spending with me and finding alternative hobbies, but they all fell on deaf ears and nothing significant changed.

Last week, my husband told me he was sick and that he needed to take a few days to recover. I asked if he wanted me to stay back from a short business trip I was going on to take care of him, but he told me it wasn’t necessary.

Something about his tone didn’t sit right with me, so on a hunch I installed a small camera in his gaming room that’d allow me to see into it.

Sure enough, he’d spent every waking minute while I was gone gaming. When I came back, I was furious with him and decided to take a drastic move to fix his problem. When he went for work the next day, I sold his gaming setup and waited for him to get back.

After he got back, he immediately saw that his setup was gone and realized what I did. He started yelling at me for taking away his only hobby, and I responded by calling him an addict who only cared about his streaming, pointing out all the times he’d neglected me in favor of gaming and telling him that I knew he’d blown off work to stream.

We argued for a little while more, and then I gave him an ultimatum – I told him where I’d sold his setup and that there was a 48 hour return policy, so he could go get it. However, that would necessitate moving out, as I wouldn’t stay with him unless he got help for his habit. Long story short, he got his gaming setup then went to stay with a friend.

I [29M] found male underwear in my Girlfriends [27F] laundry

So, after bringing home our clothes from the laundry, I found a pair of men’s underwear in the clothes. They aren’t mine, as they are smaller than what I wear (a size down).

For clarity, we put our dirty clothes in separate piles, so the underwear came from hers. There was no one else in the laundry when I was there, so I couldn’t have brought them home.

At first she didn’t know who’s they were, but then claimed to be her brother in laws. She says that she must have accidently brought them home with her when she did laundry at her sisters house (she does this sometimes).

Okay, fine. However, when I tell her I would ask him/bring them to him (him and her sister live about 3 minutes away), she is vehemently against it.

Say I should just trust her and that its embarrassing for her to have her family involved. That makes me want to ask him even more.

We have been together for nearly 2 1/2 years. I know if I ask (whether it’s his or not) it’s going to be a pretty huge problem, one she claimed she We can’t come back from. However, I feel like this is the easiest to put this situation to rest.

What should I do? What would you do if this happened to you and your significant other?

Is S so important to men?

Too all the men out there, is S so important to men?

It happened since my kids are in the kindergarten/primary school. They are young adults now.

Who can guess the reason for his cheating?

Yes! Reason was not enough S!

I am a working mom till now, back then, we have to put the kids with my mom when we both at work and sometimes I have to work late. When we bring the kids home, I will try to spend time with the kids, prepare the kids stuff and pack their bags for the next day. After everything, I’m dead tired. How can I enjoy S? That is when he started to look for his lover. I confronted and we trashed things out. They broke off.

Many years passed, I know on and off he has been flirting with some ladies from WeChat. Many stories in between, too many to write it out.

I am one with low S drives, I have been very accommodating as a wife but I find it no meaning to continue. I find myself like a maid and a S machine. Each time I declined, he gets pissed. Now he even stop talking to me, not informing of his schedules and whereabouts, etc. Ignoring me throughout. I found out that he is actively using tinder and flirting with 2 ladies in WeChat.

I was like, WTF, S overwrites all things throughout the many years . All the help from me when his business failed, who has paid for the household expenses during difficult times, kids expenses etc etc.. All these with my little salary.

He don’t feel grateful at all? Feels like walking out of this marriage since the kids are all grown up.

Future advice, I’m with my boyfriend for 7 years and are planning to BTO. However, we had a serious conversation regarding our future recently.

His “life goal” is to have a kid in future, and since he’s the only son, he’s family is also expecting him to have kids in future. But I’m not considering to have kids (at least for now) as I want to have my freedom and not be tied down by kids. In terms of personality, I’m also more adventurous and likes to travel around but he will nag at me for being dangerous and also not willing to try things out. Ofcourse I’m able to accept this difference but now the thought of our future becomes something I have to think twice.

I’m not sure if I should continue staying with him because there’ll definitely be pressure from his family in future.

I still love him but this is a concern that I have to think about as we will definitely face this challenge a few years down the road.

Here are what netizens think:

• Discuss bout your priorities with your bf. Be transparent. He should prepare his family about your priorities and you should update yours regarding his priorities. It’s better to discuss and made known, then to marry and argue daily as you both have different values and priorities. But again, if you truly love each other, you should only plan about your own happiness, not your parents.

• All these have to be trash out before marriage. I had seen my friends having problems with their husbands who refuse their share of parental responsibility other than sperm donation.

• Decide. 7 years means you are likely 25 at very least. He can easily drop the 7 years of investment into the relationship, date someone younger, and still have the kids he wants. You on the other hand, don’t have the luxury of time to restart everything again if you decide you want kids after all.

• Don’t ignore this topic anymore. He may assume you will change your mind which is dangerous. You aren’t sure, but you may be more sure of being childless as you age. Which will surely result in conflicts in the future.

Work dilemma, Need some advice!

I recently started a new job 5 months ago. It’s a “big company” in Europe and recently started operation in Singapore as their Asia hub and has less than 10 employees working.

I’m starting to dread myself going to work everyday. Firstly, when I interviewed for the position, they told me it was a hybrid job and 3 days before I started my first day, they told me I have to be in office everyday.

I was bummed but it is what it is. Then when I started the job, I basically became everyone’s PA and doing administrative things which the position I applied for was not an admin position. Whenever there’s an event or campaign, I’m told to purchase first and expense my claim which I did but they only reimburse back at the end of every month and the reimbursement is not consistence.

Some days it’s within a few days. The longest was a month and a half to reimburse back and it’s not small amount – it’s bout more than a thousand each time expense.

Whenever everyone is out for business, I still need to be in office. Alone all by myself. There’s a lot more to this I could rant and it’ll never end. Basically, I’m not happy at my job. I have no friends here and the work is really miserable.

Im thinking of finding a new job but don’t really know what to say whenever a recruiter or company ask why im leaving my current company despite only being here for less than 6 months.

Can anyone advise if I should stay and push through to see if it’ll get better or should I resign immediately without a job secured first?

Here are what netizens think:

• No employee should ever outlay for their company especially not in the thousands or even be asked to! If you do continue there, please tell them they need to give you a company credit card and that you will no longer be paying for their expenses. If they don’t pay for it, you can’t buy it…simple as that. Start looking for something better and don’t worry about what recruiters will ask you – just find the best way to tell the truth eg. You are often alone in a small office and you prefer a busier environment or that your skills are more suited to xxx and not an admin based position. Keep working but find a way to get out ASAP.

• Different people will have different answers… Some value happiness higher than money while some will do whatever it takes for money. What’s your answer?.

• You can say that your learning has plateaued and you don’t feel constructively challenged .. all the best with your job search

For the guys out there who have never been in a relationship or dating before, as a guy myself (25 yo, NUS alumni), I want to share on some important notes before you start dating or a relationship.

1) Actions from girls are more important than words. Yes, a girl may claim she misses you, text you good morning, say will bring you you to xxx, say will do xxx. If they are just saying without any actions done CONSISTENTLY, then it is just plainly talking.

2) Please don’t accept a relationship just because you are afraid to be alone or already in the so called “typical age range to get married” or most of your friends are attached. Rather to be alone than to be in a relationship/marriage suffering!!

Side track: according to book I read, the most important things in life for a guy are:

A) Health

B) Own savings

C) Family and Guy Besties (see girl is not in the list)

3) Watch out for her body language. If a girl CONSISTENTLY:

A) Keep her phone/phone screen away from you

B) Disallow you from using her phone

Explanation for A and B: she does that because she has something fishy to hide.

C) Never want to put your couple picture as her dp or post on social media or even discourage you to do so. Delete your couple photos on her phone.

Explanation for C: She considers herself to be in the “spinster” market. Means she is still looking around for her partner or even scared of people seeing you two together.

D) Always talk about herself and rarely entertain you

Explanation for D: One sided. She only want companionship. There should be give and take.

E) Always online on WhatsApp/Telegram but take 10000 years to reply your messages

No need to explain you should know why.

F) Say “none of your business”.

This is a major red flag. In a relationship, you all are supposed to work and listen together, not one don’t care about the other.

G) Don’t know what she wants in a relationship. Even after months.

H) Flirting and Cheating. When someone flirted and cheated although she has you, it means that your relationship is not that strong enough to begin and typically she will not suddenly change her heart overnight. So please do yourself a favour to distance away from her. Why tolerate someone like that?

I) Always texting a lot of male friends. Go to male friends’ house alone and not with a group of people.

J) Not willing to fork out money for meals/trips on YOU. If a girl is cash stripped because of her family situation (eg. Take care of family/pay loan/debt), it is understandable. Otherwise, the typical girl will always have more than money to spend on you on meals. Imagine a girl having difficulties parting with her money at the dating stage/while in a relationship, and imagine if you were to have kids with her, she definitely want you to spilt/pay for the hospital bills and baby accessories expenses. Would you ever want that?

Side note: a typical girl will chat with more than one guy online/in person. Please keep your eyes open and don’t put 100% heart into the relationship unless you feel reciprocated. Otherwise you will get hurt.

4) I suggest men to watch videos from Andrew Tate YouTube Channel (yes I am a fan of him). From his channel, I learned that a girl who truly wants to be with you would put 100% effort and her heart to be with you. She will be willing to spend money and time with you. No excuses. No mind games. You will be her priority other than her job.

Thanks for reading up to here . I have been in the above situations blindly until I woke up finally. It has been very heartbreaking for me since I put my 100% heart into it. I cried a lot and felt depressed and I am recovering from it now. At least I am thankful for recognising it at the start of the relationship.

I feel depressed because I was rejected by a girl on a personal level, most likely due to my financial background.

So I’m a guy, fresh into uni and new to relationships. Last semester I somehow get the courage to ask out this girl in the same year as me. Long story short, we hit off very well.

We met up 5 times over a month, most times for an activity and not just a meal. On the 6th meeting, I sense the vibe is strong and I confess my feelings for her.

Up to this point I’m 100% confident she likes me back. But then to my utter surprise and horror, she says, “let’s just be friends, I’m not really into dating.”

I’m taken aback and I ask her why. She is surprisingly amiable and she takes some time to explain that it’s nothing to do with me but her, that she’s ‘just not into dating’ and doesn’t feel the need to get into a relationship. She also claimed that she honestly thought all those outings were just as friends and she didn’t know they were intended to be dates and apologised if she sent the wrong signals.

Regarding the “I just don’t want to date” line, I’ve heard countless times before that such rejections are actually personal. Among my friends, there’s this saying: When a girl says she doesn’t want to date at all, she’s just trying to let you down easy, but actually she just doesn’t want to date YOU personally.

It’s basically common knowledge.

Knowing the rejection was personal was so depressing. I suffered a mental breakdown over the next few days. It hurt like hell and got me agonising over what part of me is so bad. Some part of me must be so repulsive that I would get rejected on a personal level, especially with that cliché excuse of “I’m just not looking to date”. This excuse that covered up an unknown reason pained me to know that I had some personal problem that was so severe the girl must have deemed too hurtful to say out.

I agonised over why she didn’t like me. I narrowed it down to the 3 main common reasons: looks, education level, or financial status.

Now I know there could be other reasons, such as not feeling a romantic connection, incompatibility or mismatched personalities, which are completely possible and valid reasons for rejection, but I don’t think that’s the case here, otherwise the girl could have just told me she felt we didn’t click / were not compatible / I’m not her type; and such reasons are good and not hurtful at all. Furthermore we went out so frequently. Since she used the “just not into dating at all” excuse, she’s most likely lying to hide a deeper reason, and is trying to be nice because the real reason could be too hurtful for me to bear. So I think the reason is unlikely to be incompatibility or mismatched personalities, not least also because we shared a lot of similar hobbies like painting, music, etc. to name a few.

So such a hurtful reason has to be either looks, education level or financial status (I can’t think of any other reason too hurtful to say out).

I agonised for weeks after that, wondering what was wrong with me. It sure as hell cannot be education level as we were in the same year and taking the exact same course, down to the same minor. We both said we were aiming to continue doing a masters after our degree. As for looks… it’s very unlikely to be my looks as we went out multiple times. Also my friends all agree she was within my league in the looks department. And she was shorter than me.

So, that just left financial status.

As full time students who are not earning a steady income of our own yet, I once thought financial background didn’t matter much as long as I was still decently dressed and able to pay for dates. After all, we were in the same course, and it should be our future prospects that mattered more, right? Apparently, not in this case. I got the feeling she’s from a richer background than me and she probably realised it too. Because through our conversations, I found out she attended an expensive private high school, lives in the central area of a major city (she is a foreign student btw), and travelled to more Western countries than me. Doesn’t take a genius to figure out who is from a more well-off background. To clarify, I’m definitely not poor, I’m middle class. I don’t have student loans and both my parents work decent white collar jobs, but my background is definitely not as wealthy as hers.

And I’m pretty sure she knows I’m middle class because she asked what my parents were working as, and also asked what countries I’ve been to. And yes, I also paid for some of the ‘dates’ at decent eateries. But perhaps her financial standards were just too high.

Now I’m not saying that girls are gold diggers, but I heard that even in todays day and age, well-off women with their own money still want to date guys of equal or higher financial background compared to them, not because they are gold diggers and want the guy’s money, but simply because a higher financial status makes one look more successful and attractive overall.

So yeah, the girl most likely lied that she’s just not into dating to hide the hurtful truth of what she truly felt, that she thought my financial status was too low for her. Furthermore she is a foreign student from a country whose citizens have a reputation for being highly materialistic and judging others based on financial background. Deride me all you want for stereotyping or generalising, but like I mentioned earlier, rejection based on financial background seems most plausible. Furthermore, I have friends from that particular country who always specified that whenever girls from their country say “its not personal, I just don’t want to date in general”, the rejection is in fact personal and the other party is bullshitting.

So yeah, it has to be financial status. The only reason that is both personal and too hurtful to say out. Either that or there’s something else so repulsive about me that I’m hit with that cliche excuse.

And now I’m hurt like shit. Especially because of that girl’s excuse.

Even if you don’t agree with my assessment on it having been due to financial background, you can’t deny that the rejection was personal towards me, and some part of me must have been so repulsive to the point she would use that ‘not into dating at all’ excuse. Either way, the rejection sure was personal. And the reason hurtful and terrible enough for the girl to use that cliche excuse.

So this happened months ago, but I still feel pained by it. Sucks to be rejected on a personal level, and judged for your financial background. My self esteem has been shattered and I am depressed. Trying to get this off my chest before the next semester…