How to not feel out of place when I’m with my rich friends

So I’m currently still schooling and I come from a low-mid income family. I’m kind of known to be relatively thrifty with my money among my friends. Ofc it’s not like I don’t spend la, I still spend on things if I need or rly want to

Anyway I’m doing this gift exchange thing in my friend grp so I asked my friend what she wanted and she wants this expensive watercolor set that is arnd $40.

Ngl it’s out of my budget and I think she knows so she said that she doesn’t mind sharing the cost. But then I feel bad cuz like if we were to share cost then it’s not truly a gift yk?

Then she said it’s ok like you said, it’s just sth she wants not need and she totally understands if I buy her sth else.

I feel like she has no ill intentions plus my friends often joke about how thrifty I am with my money but idk, everytime they say sth like this I get guilty like it’s my fault that I’m not as well off as them.

I just feel kinda out of place when I hang arnd them cuz they are more well off than me. Sometimes they wna go eat out at places that has food priced at $10+ or more and everytime I feel embarrassed to tell them “sorry I don’t have enough money, can we go eat somewhere else instead?”.

Then all of them will comply just bcuz I cannot afford the food. Makes me wna forget abt eating and go home 😭 Also since it’s after Os, a lot of my friends are talking about travelling and throwing super grand graduation parties or whatever.

I haven’t gone travelling in a very long while now and hearing them say all this rly worsens the “out of place” feeling HAHAHA

Idk what really is the point of this post. Ig I just got abit sad after the whole gift exchange thing so I came here to rant? HAHAHA maybe someone has advice for me as to how not to feel so sensitive or out of place whenever I hang out with my friends. If so pls tell me, ty I rly appreciate it

My unfaithful wife suggested opening our marriage and is now very upset that I am constantly hooking up with other women.

My wife and I have been married for 10 years and things have been on a steady decline for a long time.

She has cheated on me twice that I’m aware of and the last time she had the nerve to suggest we open our marriage.

I have remained faithful all this time but I was bitter and angry so I agreed.

That was 3 months ago. I have slept with and dated dozens of women in that time and now my wife is very upset because apparently I have a higher market value than her and spend all my time with other women.

When she confronted me about this I reminded her that defiling our marriage was her idea which of course did not go over well.

I’ve known the marriage was over for a long time but it’s official now. We’re getting a divorce.

Netizens’ comments

• It’s not healthy my guy. It doesn’t matter what you say and it doesn’t matter what she says, that’s not healthy for any marriage.
  If you want to be with other people be with other people, but stop pretending you care about your marriage. Just get a divorce and if you guys want to keep having a relationship go for it without the strings of being married, because that’s what both of you are describing anyways.
• You should’ve told your wife that you’d be more than happy to go back to how it was. Just you and her. I mean, that’s what you kind of wanted in the first place. Or maybe I am wrong. I think that the divorce is right for you, if you’re supposedly getting all kinds of tail and are so handsome and charming. But… why did your wife cheat on you if you’re such a “great guy”. Maybe your sheen wears off.

My husband told me last night he was uncomfortable with me in the same room with him while he is playing video games and talking to his friends on discord.

When I asked why, he said he just wanted privacy. So I went out of the room for a few hours and I soon learned that while he is playing video games that means I’m automatically on baby duty.

I don’t mind that, but sometimes I need help with her. Even though, I still leave him be in our room with the door locked.

He then came out of the room and said he wasn’t comfortable with me in the house and wanted me to get out and go away for awhile.

I have just been reading silently with my headphones in occasionally. I don’t know what I’ve done to make him uncomfortable with me sitting in the same room as him.

But I feel like we are drifting apart. He won’t communicate with me about it, all he wants is space and privacy. So I’m living in the living room for now.

So there is this guy and we’ve been talking back and forth for a few months now.

My whole confession is pretty shallow, to begin with, so I’ll just say it outright. I don’t find him as attractive physically (maybe I have a type or maybe I’m just a horrible person), but mentally we are definitely in sync.

It’s just that my definition of good looks is that I can *see* that you put effort into looking presentable, you know?

You don’t have to be naturally handsome or anything, it’s just about being able to clean up nice I guess. Get a haircut maybe, exercise a little, stop eating so much unhealthy food, stuff like that.

And sometimes I feel like that’s not an invalid expectation because it’s not something I’m not bringing to the table myself.

Ultimately, I am super hesitant in asking him out. I want to, I feel like we’ll click. But I don’t want this stupid apprehension of mine constantly nagging at me.

I know, I don’t deserve him at all.

Here are what netizens think:

• Physical Attraction is a complicated thing… at times u feel it but u sweep it aside and let it lie dormant because perhaps the person is attached or you have other goals in your mind. But you will feel it even as platonic friends.

• If you don’t feel attraction physically for the person , things probably won’t improve with time. However，you may experience increased attraction to his other attributes, maybe he became rich or his devotion to you … etc.

• So he’s not your type. And the feelings might be mutual you know. Usually a guy who is attracted to you will ask for a date . Not once.

• In my experience, dated one who’s not good looking and not fit but I didn’t mind because I’m not perfect myself either. Point is, it isn’t about looks. It’s how he treats you. The one I dated not good looking nvrm but treated me like I’m nothing. He would talk about how good his exes are (even on the first day we met) and he would talk about how he spent his birthday going abroad and thought it’s weird that I don’t (I only have dinner with my family or parents). Later on he would make jokes about everything including my worries. Then later on he would ignore his own mistakes and invalidate my feelings. Gaslight me. This is also the same guy who won’t make time for me but he has time for his friends until 2am and video games. Weekdays working no time totally understand. But he’s MIA on the weekends too. This is the same guy who said he will not hurt me. Well I guess it’s just words no actions.

• It’s not about looks. It’s about how a guy treats you. But if you can find someone who has the looks and treats you well, then it’s your luck.

My boyfriend is losing all of our money by day trading

My bf and I have been together for 3 years and since we have started dating his big dream has been to trade in the stock market.

We have joint bank accounts because we have kids together and other stuff so it just made sense. I have a money comes money goes attitude.

We have never been financially insecure since we’ve been dating. My boyfriend grew up really poor and states he will always feel financially insecure.

Getting to my point he’s been trying to get rich fast doing stocks and I recently discovered he’s been taking 400 dollars out of our bank account each month to trade and said he’s lost almost all of it.

I wanted to blow up on him but I didn’t. I stayed calm and respectful but inside I am burning. Now I feel financially insecure.

That was our Christmas money. I view him as an addict. It’s like some with a gambling addiction or shopping addiction.

Not breaking up but need advice on how to handle this plz

I am in my mid 20s and i have been working full time for about 4-5 years now. I job hop often due to my inability to cope with work stress. I struggle with several mental health issues. I can name a few but respectfully refuse to elaborate on them (ADHD, depression). I also struggle to find a job that can give me a fair work/life balance with a decent pay. If you look at my resume theres gaps in between where im not working. I have a recent habit of taking many months to recover after getting burntout from my previous job.

Anyway fast forward to my current situation. I needed money and i found a job which i initially thought was decent. Ive been in this company for less than a month now. First few days in i already knew this isnt the job for me. The way my boss communicates with me/rest of the company makes me feel some sort of way. Because of my constant job hopping, ive dealt with several different types of bosses and management. My current boss reminds me of a toxic environment i was in a couple years back. He speaks in a passive aggressive tone and makes me feel super incompetent. He can be super blunt at times and it can come off a little condescending. His style of handling things is also quite messy and there’s no proper work structure/flow to the company which i’m not very used to. It’s just the way that my boss is and how he handles things. It works for him and i respect it. It just doesn’t work for me. Long story short, i just want to quit. Here’s the problem…

This is on me btw, i did not properly vet through the contract before signing it. I beat myself up for it a lot, feel free to give me shit tbh i kinda deserve it. A couple weeks ago when i was thinking of submitting my resume, i happened to read through the contract and notice this part of the contract – “If you want to cease your employment, you need to give no less than 3 months’ written notice to the Company.”

I was shocked. No other company i’ve been in needs you to serve a notice period for this long. I really can’t do 3 months notice it will be so heavy on my mental health. I told my dad about this situation and how it’s been taking a toll on my mental health, he told me to just talk to my boss and try to negotiate for a shorter notice period. I spoke to my psychiatrist about the stress i’ve been in at work too. I talk about my unhappiness with work a lot with my friends. I really dislike work a lot. Is there any way i can legally get out of the 3 months notice? I will cave in and talk to my boss eventually but the whole thing is giving me anxiety. What if he resents me for wanting to quit so early? What if he gives me a bunch of crap and throws a bunch of assignments my way because he hates the fact that i want to quit now.

Edit: I forgot to mention that i only brought up a few of my mental health issues AFTER i signed the contract. Context was that my boss wanted to know what my workflow was like and I told him i specifically how i go about completing a task… because of my ADHD lol. So he’s aware of this only recently.

Edit 2: MORE INFO; it is stated in the contract that i am under 3 months probation.

Thank you for the replies, i understand that paying in lieu of notice is an option but if there are other ways, do let me know.

This may sound like it, but I never had significant self worth issues regarding my looks. I knew I was ugly, but I am in law school and have so many topics and fields of interests I’m passionate about that it never made me insecure about my worth, until now.

I am not hideous looking, but I am in no way conventionally attractive. I have severe hormonal acne, very hard to tame hair, odd facial features for a woman (my mom once called it a mans moon face, lol) and while I am not fat and work out a lot, I tend to keep water weight in certain areas because of a thyroid disorder. I just kind of look lumpy and not like you would imagine a 20 year old to look. This has never bothered me, even in my teenage years, until now.

My boyfriend and I have been together for a year now, and I never questioned his feelings towards me until now. A few weeks ago I was sitting at lunch with my friends (all very amazing, conventionally attractive nice young women) and they started talking about the attention they get from their boyfriends. Compliments, sweet gifts, tension, maybe sometimes over the top explicit comments.

I was confused, because I never get this type of attention from him, I always thought my relationship was totally normal, no one ever told me otherwise. He never compliments me. He never initiates bedroom activities even though he has a normal libido for a young man, he looks at women in public like any man in his 20s would, or so I thought. I thought maybe he’s just not that touchy. When we do get intimate maybe once every three weeks, he insists on turning lights off or adjusting positions so he doesn’t have to see much of me, and when this doesn’t happen I feel him getting turned off in seconds.

After overhearing my friends I felt heavily insecure for the first time. So I decided to ask him flat out what he thinks about me. I told him everything I love about him (I tell him over and over, all the time. I am insanely in love with this man) and then asked him what he likes about me. “Uh I don’t know, you look okay and you’re smart and funny.”

As much as I was mentally prepared for that reply, it stung like hell and I couldn’t help but cry after locking myself in the bathroom.

I know he always had a reputation of being kind of a nerd, loner and not successful with the girls. He says regularly how happy he is to not be alone.

It’s been a few weeks now and I’m starting to realize that maybe this is the best fit for both of us. I get to be with someone I love and he is not alone.

Interviewer: Tell me why you should be hired

Me: I have read the core values of this company and see myself having those core values.

People: If you all care about people, you will take pity to hire me.

Innovation: I am thinking of a solution to shape my currently thin resume. The hope lies with this interview.

Tenacity: Nothing shake my solution to get this job.

Collaborations: I am collaborating with you. You give me salary, I offer you my time.

Customer Focus: You will be paying me salary. You are my customer. I am focusing on you offer me this job soon.

———————————————

Interviewer: Can you take the stress?

Me: It will be even more stressful if I struggle to find a job and struggle to pay my bills.

———————————————

Interviewers: How do you prioritize between different tasks?

Me: Always start with the urgent and important task first.

One example is selecting me. If you realise that I am an important candidate. You have to make your decision to hire urgently before another company will snatch me away.

Those important but not urgent tasks can leave to the intern or other colleagues.

One example is another candidate. They are also urgent because other companies will also snatch them away. However, they are not important because I hope that you have made the correct decision to hire me.

You just need to find another colleague to go through the interview process with them.

Here are what netizens think:

• Tell me why you invite me here.. you should see my strengths in resume
• Sarcasm in the highest form.
• I have always been passionate to put food on table
• What is your last drawn salary? Me: it’s not meaningful to reveal
• I believe you won’t get the job
• Say, i can do the job and i am within your budget. Why u still so choosy?

Tired of having to tell men “No” at least 2-3 times before they stop trying to initiate S.

Here are what netizens think:

• I was so used to men behaving like this until my boyfriend and I got together. I was absolutely shocked the first time I fell asleep on him and instead of waking up to him trying to get in my pants I woke up to him watching cartoons while petting my head. He had balanced and ash tray on my back though.
• My ex had a habit of trying to initiate S every 15 minutes when I wasn’t in the mood until I gave in, until I had to leave, or until he got so drunk that he was falling over. I broke up with him after I woke up to him jamming his fingers into my V.
• Been on too many first dates where me and the guy start kissing and he tries taking things further and I say “I dont want to right now but I’d still like to kiss if thats ok” or “can we wait?” or any other variation to kindly say I dont want S and they always act apologetic and pull back immediately and say “oh yeah no problem” yet 2 minutes later they try again.