I (27F) have this childhood friend (28F) who we met at the playground as kids 17-18 years ago when we were 10/11 years old respectively.

Whenever we hang out, she expects me to pay most of the bills because I’m “rich” which I’m definitely not. I worked hard to get to where I am now and nobody spoon-feeds me anything. I just make a considerable amount more than her. I don’t really mind paying for most of the stuff but it just kinda bugged me that she came to expect it.

Also, this year she forgot my birthday and sent me a belated text message a day later to wish me a happy birthday. But for her birthday, I texted her happy birthday and she just expected me to take her out for a birthday dinner (which I actually didn’t plan to, but made it happen anyway. I spent over $200 on dinner, dessert and drinks) but I didn’t mind it until she made this comment “yes, spend money on me” which she meant as a joke but because her actions really reflect that, it did bug me slightly.

Most recently, I had my wedding and the day before the wedding she texted me to ask if she can be “exempted from giving a red packet hahaha” which really bothered me because it’s my special day and you choose this day to be a cheapskate?! I just told her no, a red packet represents well wishes and to just give any amount she is comfortable with. In case this comes across as a cash grab, my cost per head was $250 and she only gifted me $50 which is totally fine, but the fact that she didn’t even want to gift me anything at all at first, was what annoyed me. (She also didn’t give me anything for my birthday and yet expected to be wined and dined for her birthday which I did for her).

On top of that, she has been frequently borrowing a couple of hundred from me every few months and then just splitting it into instalment packages to her convenience without asking me if I’m okay with it. Eg. I lent her $300 and she just returns me $50 per month on her own accord.

Also, for her previous engagement that was cancelled, she asked me to be her wedding emcee and do her hair and makeup which I was totally fine with, and of course she expects the red packet from me too which I would have given for sure, if the wedding wasn’t called off. Thinking of this and how she still wanted to skimp on the red packet for my wedding, just made me feel very uncomfortable as I felt taken advantage of. PS. I didn’t need her help with anything for my wedding, she just had to attend as a guest.

I feel conflicted as I feel like the relationship is very unbalanced and she’s milking me, but at the same time I feel it’s a shame to let go of the friendship as she’s easily one of my longest friend.

Still keep her as a friend or move on?

Failing my internship due to a family headache

I was an OP of an internship a while back regarding MC needing to pay back while i was hospitalised. I changed to a new internship cause i worked for her before while I was having part-time jobs.

She seemed very nice so i told her about my internship headache and she recruited me after as her company intern. Things were going on well till i was sick and had non-stop vomiting. Saw a doctor but didn’t get well so my mum rushed me to the hospital.

I was dehydrated by then so i had to be on iv drip. Results came out and i was diagnosed with salmonella infection. I told my boss that i was hospitalised again due to this and she said ok. I showed her all the discharged papers and mc as well.

A week later, i was having an event at a hotel. Family problems arises cause my auntie told me about my mum is actually still seeing someone while being together with my dad as i asked her why these few years i didn’t know abt this uncle background. She told me that both of them were past lovers. I couldn’t accept it and i cried thinking what if they divorced and this family wld be gone. I was angry at myself that i didn’t found out earlier so i could help my dad ease his pain cuz he didn’t tell anyone his feeling as he needed to protect me. I didn’t manage to tell anyone too as my auntie told me to keep it to myself.

My boss told me to go back home as i was crying and trembling, but i did told her i was ok to stay. I’m told her repeatedly i’m fine but she insisted me to go home so i did.

Boss then fired me the next day as she told me she was lacking of manpower and i can’t continue on like this. I’m really afraid of failing my internship and with this kind of family problems, i’m afraid i can’t take it anymore..

The Great Resignation?

I am an experienced professional with international working experiences across Asia. Both myself (<40) and my wife (<40) are working in the private sector, and our monthly combined income is around $25,000. My last annual income was $240,000 alone.

We are living in a resale HDB flat with our two young ones, and I am driving a very old Japanese MPV which is due to scrap later this year.

We are doing well financially and is able to make several overseas trips in a year.

However, things starting to take a turn when I left a very good paying job/role for a similar salaried role which requires me to work in office daily and taking up several responsibilities which are not within my job scope. I was working almost 80 hours weekly on average and this long period of work culture has resulted me in getting sick very often, losing hairs and feeling the sense of uselessness. I was at the brink of giving up the job and focusing on my mental health.

This is not an easy decision since living comfortably in Singapore requires you to have plenty of savings. If I require a break, then how long should this break be?

I read many articles on The Great Resignation during this pandemic period, and was tempted to resign too. But how many of you have actually made this move? I do have savings and can stop working for a couple of years. But do I want to do that, and do I want my child and friends see me as a ‘lazy’ person who is unable to handle the work stress?

If I can choose, I’d love to wake up and work on something more meaningful and something which I am more passionate on.. Corporate world is great especially on the monetary rewards, but long term wise it is really affecting my mental wellbeing..

Mid-life crisis I guess?

I took leave to accompany my boy to get his PSLE results. I asked him if he was nervous but he told me he was confident he will do well so he’s not nervous at all.

He also said that he prepared tissue in his pocket just in case his classmates cried. While I should be proud of my boy for feeling confident, somehow this behaviour makes me very uneasy because the Chinese always say 骄兵必败. Overconfidence might become complacent and that’s when things will go wrong.

True enough, when he received his results, I could see that his facial expression changed.

He didn’t cry but he looked like he was close to tears. The moment he saw his results, he walked to me and asked to go home. He didn’t even want to talk to his friends. I knew if I asked him anything he will surely break down so I just held his hand and brought him out of the school.

As a parent, I definitely want my boy to do well but I also think it is good for our children to learn how to accept failure. Only then they will know how to pick themselves up and become stronger. When they finally succeed, they will appreciate it so much more.

I always felt that my boy takes everything for granted and this is actually a good lesson to wake him up.

After we left the school, I brought him for his favourite Swensens and told him that what’s done was done and we can’t do anything to change the results. What we could do was to learn from this experience and try again next time. Although he is still very upset, I hope these words encouraged him and let him know that his dad and I are supportive of him no matter what.

To all the parents of the P6s, hope your children did well in their studies! If they didn’t do so well, they are probably feeling sad and scared so as parents, we should let them know that we support them and love them.

All the best to all your children!

Looking for advice on investment portfolio

I saved $30000 monthly in a joint account with my wife since my business picked up 10 months ago.

I had invested in the unit trust, and s&p since last year November, but all are in the red.

Unit trust especially is down 50% and I had taken $10k of my savings monthly to average it down.

Recently I put most of my savings in fixed deposits, and USD fixed deposits.

Besides all these, what is the best option for me to build a long-term investment portfolio with sustainability.

So far I had tried some wealth manager advice, but basically all are in the red.

Is fixed deposit,t bills, or SGX bank shares the only option I can look at?

Here are what netizens think:

• Also since all ur stuff is in the red, try diversifying into other assets tht move in the opposite direction of your current portfolio

• Probably not a good idea to source for financial advice on FB tbh.

• You save so much a month, cant hire the best financial adviser, and you want to ask strangers for financial advice? No wonder people say fools and money will soon part

• Worse place for advice. But as long as you keep your investments in tried and true companies, the bear market is only temporary. Now may very well be the best time to be doing your homework and investing in solid companies for dirt cheap. It’s literally a 2 to 3 year black Friday sale. The only question is when to buy and what to buy.

• Can never time the market. As long as you don sell. Paper lost only. Going back to ATH will take awhile.

possibly pregnant and freaking out

Boyfriend won’t have S with me

I do not want to attend Chinese New Year gatherings because of the sake of my mental health.

I am 25(f) had a craniotomy 2 years ago. Lunar New Year is approaching and its common to have a family gathering where relatives far and near comes together..

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