Idk if I want to marry my boyfriend

My bf and I have been together for about three years. We officially became a couple after getting to know each other for about a month and I feel that it was a little too fast, but now I’m 3 years in and talking about marriage.

I love him a lot, that I know for sure. But I can’t help but wonder if he is the one for me. Yet, I can’t bring myself to break up with him because we’ve got so much together now and his family literally treats me as a part of them already.

One of my concerns is the fact that I am not S-ually attracted to him. I fantasise over other guys (I do watch porn, and I think it’s fine for girls to watch? I mean, if he can why can’t I?) but he doesn’t turn me on and I don’t enjoy having S with him. However, I love cuddling with him, spending hours chatting, watching dramas, hanging out, or even just lying next to him holding his hand. I just don’t want to have S with him. Is there a problem with me? I love S but I just can’t bring myself to do it with him… This is why I’m wondering if he is the guy I should marry.

Another thing is, I no longer feel a spark with him like when we first started dating. When he used to touch me or kiss me my heart would skip a beat, but now it feels like something we just do and I don’t feel anything. I only love cuddling with him and that’s the only time I feel the most – security, comfort, love and all.

Apart from S-lly compatibility, everything else is fine. We don’t fight, we’re like an old married couple who spends time engaging in activities together, exercising and all, is this normal?

Should a relationship be entirely comfortable or should it also make me feel excited and make my heart skip a beat all the time?

I don’t think another guy can make me feel as secure, as safe and as comfortable.

For context I F(39) have two vehicles at the moment, a coupe and a motorcycle.

I got my car back in 2020 when I bought it from my grandparents via a loan I took out in my name.

Ever since I got my car, it was kind of an understanding that my mom F(43) may ask to use it once in a while. She already has a vehicles of her own. It doesn’t bother me a lot since my car isn’t a newer model and it is my first car so mistakes have been made. Well, my loan will be paid off on the car next valentine, and I am looking to get an SUV.

My reasons are that by next valentine both of our dogs will be very big size so it will be nice with how much we take them to the dog park. Here is where I think I might be the a-hole.

My mom has helped me with the loan at some point. I told her since she uses my car just as much as I do, whether it is to take care of the dogs, just drive it daily, or take it to Johor a road trip with her friend. Then I want her to put money towards it.

I broke up (not amicable) with this lady quite a while ago in Thailand, this was fairly recent. I heard from her about how black magic was quite rampant and simple to do (just pay someone to do it).

She had a pretty vindictive personality, which I learnt over the course of our relationship.

Shortly after the breakup, my mother, who is a devout buddhist of over 3 decades, said that she saw alot of “dirty things / energies” following me back home. She immediately took me to a Buddhist Monk. She did not know of the breakup.

I took refuge and started reciting mantras daily. Everything was fine, the “dirty things” were no longer there.

However, I had stopped reciting mantras daily, and that feeling of unsafeness that I felt before is suddenly creeping over me, coupled with a ton of bad luck. Everything I touch, fails miserably.

Now, maybe it’s all a coincidence, and maybe it’s all in my heads, but just for argument’s sake, if I were indeed cursed again due to absence of Buddhist practice, what can I do?

Thank you

Here are what netizens think:

• Practice the dharma, develop love and compassion, this is the best kind of protection

• I don’t doubt there’s such a thing as bad mojo, but I read somewhere that in countries where voodoo, witchcraft, etc. are taken for granted, people who believe they’ve been cursed can become very ill, from the stress and anxiety, and the only way modern medical doctors have found to cure them is by staging an elaborate ritual of their own, and then declaring the curse to be lifted. After that, the patient is fine.

• You have options depending on time and money. Practicing Bodhicitta is free, but you will need time to develop it and understand it’s application. You can learn tantric activities, but you will need time to find a guru and get all the teaching and practice experience. This will also cost money. Or you can hire a tantric to do activities for you, which obviously costs money.

I just caught my boyfriend making out with his guy best friend

Throwaway because I may honestly delete this. All names are fake but honestly if he finds this I honestly wouldn’t care.

I’m 20, my (ex) boyfriend (Jacob) is 21. His friend (Jace) is 20. They have been best friends sincE school. I’ve been dating Jacob for about a year and half at this point.

I went out with friends last night and my boyfriend had said that Jace was coming over to “chill”. I was fine with that, hadn’t been the first time he had come over. Well one of my friends had ended up in a pretty bad fight so we all left early. I didn’t tell my boyfriend that I was coming back so soon. Didn’t think it would matter yknow?

So I open the door, and I’m confused cause it’s dark as hell in the apartment. The lights were off so I couldn’t see all that well but I saw and heard 2 people on the floor. I turned the light on and lo and behold my boyfriend and his friend are making out. Both are clearly drunk as shit and didn’t even realize the lights were on at that point. I just froze. I didn’t know how to process what I was seeing.

I yelled at Jacob to get up and get out. Both of them jump up and immediately started trying to explain the situation but at that point I was crying and trying to block everything out. Jace grabbed his stuff and ran out to his car while my boyfriend was trying to hug and comfort me.

I pushed him away and locked myself in the bathroom. I heard him cussing and throwing stuff around, but eventually he slammed the front door and that’s how I knew he left.

I’m currently at a friends house. I’ve been bombarded with texts from Jacob threatening me if I dare tell anyone what happened. My friend already knows but it’s not like I was planning to tell everybody?

Now that I type this all out it sounds crazy. Don’t know if I’m looking for advice. Just need to get this out.

So I grew up very sheltered and was raised by a very strict and terribly prude single mother who never re-partnered. I didn’t even get told about periods.

So when I moved out, due to my naivety, being a people pleaser and having no street smarts, I was taken advantage of a lot. And so, I have slept with about 20 different men. I have since learnt the hard way and grown up.

Fast forward to now. I’ve discussed pasts with my boyfriend recently, I guess I wanted to have open communication. Well, he took it as me being proud of “collecting numbers”.

I also overshared details and it’s ruining our relationship. He has become very jealous and insecure, thinking I’m constantly scouting out new (and past) hookups. As if I want to sleep with literally any man who walks past or is in my vicinity (including the neighbours).

It’s making me feel absolutely disgusting. I am really starting to hate myself and everything about my past. And on top of that, he no longer “feels special” (even though he so is).

And then anytime he drinks (he has a drinking problem) he brings up everything I told him, his disgust in me, and hyperfixtates specifically on one incident where I had slept with a man about 10 years ago (saying things like “how can I respect you if you don’t respect yourself” (I am very sorry to anyone who finds this offensive). He also says that when we are doing anything intimate, all he can think about is all the others that have been inside of me.

Is there any going back from this? Do I avoid ever telling anybody about anything to do with the past ever again? I feel so gross and dirty and I just want the feeling to go away and for my boyfriend to not see me this way.