I’m a 30F and still can’t move past some awful things my parents said to me when younger

I still think about it and I feel like it’s definitely effected my psyche in some way. Some background, I’m also Asian American with immigrant parents.

1 major thing they’ve said to me is that I’m not “smart enough to be a doctor” and that my mom thinks I’m “smart, but not very smart.”

When I didn’t get the job I wanted, my mom told me that I’ve never been the type of person to get a good job right away after college (whatever that means).

These were said about 10 years ago at the beginning of my young adult life.

I made my husband promise me that he’d never say things like this to our son, who we’re expecting next month as I’m currently 8 mo pregnant.

I’ve talked to therapist about it before and understand that my parents were just projecting their own insecurities onto me..doesn’t stop it from hurting all these years later though.

And yes, I’ve brought it up with my own parents before who claim they don’t remember saying these things.

My uncle who is my mother’s only brother is quite well to do as compared to my family as his business was doing pretty well ever since I was in Primary School.

My cousin, his only son has been living a luxurious lifestyle for the longest period of time.

He had always been driven around in luxurious branded cars and has never taken the MRT before in his whole life.

If he had no one to fetch him or could not get the car to use, he would just hire a car from any of the ride hailing apps even if the place that he was going to was very accessible by MRT.

Every time I asked him if he wanted to take the MRT when we went out, he would always refuse and say that he hates to squeeze with so many people and smell their odour.

Even when taxis and private hire services are at a high surge price, he would rather pay the extra prices than take the MRT.

He got his driving license suspended a while back because he accumulated too many points and had his credit card cancelled by my Uncle because he was spending too much and had no choice but to take the MRT.

He would go on complaining and raging on our family group chat on how ‘handicapped’ he felt without a driving license as he could not drive to wherever he wants to go and had to take the MRT.

He would also blame my Uncle for cancelling his credit card making him unable to book private hire rides or taxis, resulting in him having to take the MRT.

It has been a while since he lost his license, and he is still feeling ‘handicapped’ till today.

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I used to work in a bar/bistro somewhere in the city area as a waiter for almost a year before I had enough of my boss not paying my salary on time and always finding excuses to delay payment.

I shall not name the place because I don’t want to have any trouble since I have already left the establishment and got all my overdue wages back.

Business as the bar/bistro is not bad to be honest, we are always full house and have many loyal supporters who always come back to give us business.

Our boss is a watch lover and likes to judge people based on the watches they wear so for example if you wear luxury watches like Rolex or watches which are priced in a close to five figure range, he will think that they are well to do.

If your watch is not a Rolex or equivalent, he will not even bother to talk to you.

He will then start to ‘carry the balls’ of all these Rolex wearers and try not to say no to their requests be it how absurd it is.

Every time when it is time for everyone to get paid, the boss will come out with excuses like ‘business is not doing well’ or ‘the company is not making money’, but still appears with a new Rolex watch to show off to his friends and those customers.

Since he is a ball carrier, some of the staff assumed that he would also like his balls to be ‘carried’ and so they start to compliment him on his new Rolex watch purchases and will always find the chance to suck up to him whenever they see him.

To these staff who always compliment his Rolex watch, they will always get extra ‘bonuses’ every pay day and their pay will not be delayed for too long.

For people like me who does not compliments his Rolex watches but rather just want to work properly and be genuine to everyone, we will always face his many excuses when it comes to receiving our pay.

We suspect that he has been taking money out from the business secretly to fund all these Rolex purchases and has not been accountable to other of his business partners since he is in charge of finances.

The longest I got my salary delayed is about 3 weeks, and because of that I ended up having to pay interest for my own bills due to late payment.

I’m just so glad that I am out of that mess after almost a year.

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My boss recently terminated a colleague of mine, lets call him JJ, because he had enough of his ‘punctuality issues’ or so he says.

What is even funnier that or job allows us to Work From Home during this period of time because it is the World Cup Season and because almost everyone in our department watches football, my boss approved of this arrangement just for this one month.

His only condition is that we all gather on Zoom at 10am everyday for a short briefing before we go on to work on our respective tasks for the day.

Ever since the first day of the World Cup, JJ has not attended any of the meetings and would wake up as late as 2pm on certain days and only start working at around 3pm.

He would often apologise to all of us saying that he overslept or come up with some excuse that he is feeling unwell or something last minute cropped up etc.

This made our whole team unable to function properly and affected our productivity as what we do is reliant on each other’s effort and because of that, we had missed a lot of important deadlines.

He would also go missing in action when we asked him for something or needed him to do something and only reply at 6pm when the first World Cup game started.

In actual fact, we all know that he dozed off again due to watching every game of the World Cup.

We know this because he can update our group chats whenever something ‘major’ happened in certain games which start as late as 3am.

I think he really deserves to get the sack.

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The biggest sporting event in the world, the FIFA World Cup, held once in every four years is now at the phase of the last group stage game.

People from all walks of life, even my friends and colleagues who do not gamble will gamble a little during this once every four year tournament just for the fun of it while watching the game.

I usually make quite a few thousand dollars from major tournaments like the World Cup and thought of making an even bigger killing this year.

Hence, during the build up to the tournament, I decided to read up a little to see which teams to put my money on.

However, I finally got the meaning of the ‘ball is round’ this World Cup as a lot of results did not go as I would have expected it to be.

I punted big money on the powerhouses such as Argentina and Germany which turned out to be a mistake.

Like how in the world can Argentina lose to Saudi Arabia and Germany lose to Japan?

As the results turned against me, I decided that I had to punt even more to try to recoup my losses, I started to do ‘live betting’ and I would ‘play big’ when the game time was just a few more minutes to go before it ended, thinking that there would be no last minute goals and I would surely win.

I guess luck is really not with me as those games I lost a lot on those live betting games.

I am down about 20K now, which is almost half my annual income.

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