I have an older sister who I’ll call B. B has a boyfriend who I’ll call J.

Just like I said in the title, J has confessed that he has feelings for me and he said that he has had them for a long time. Just to clarify J and B have been together for almost a year and I’ve known J because my sister had a huge crush on him when they were in school.

So I was really happy for her when she told me they were dating and since my sister still lives at home with our parents, J has been over a lot of times for dinner or just to hang out with my sister.

During our first meeting when B brought him home to meet the family, I didn’t try to be overly friendly with him but I was nice to him. My sister told me later that he thought that I was a bit too cold to him and asked me to be nice to him so every other time I saw him, I was nice. I greeted him, talked with him about several topics which we had in common like anime which we were both very huge fans of and I thought he was really cool. But that was it. I had no interest in him romantically and just saw him as my sister’s boyfriend.

But just yesterday during a party with our friends, J obviously came as my sister’s date. I was having a lot of fun and I remember J coming up to me and asked if I could help him get drinks from the fridge. On the way there, we were talking about our costumes and how they matched as they were from the same anime. he grabbed my hand and told me he had something to say.

He then confessed to me that he had a crush on me and that he was first hoping that his feelings for me would go with time but he felt like everyday he came to our house his feelings would grow. He also said that he can’t stop thinking about me. I felt uncomfortable as he spoke and asked what about my sister and their relationship and he said that he loves my sister but loved me more than her and said that he was sorry for having feelings for me and that he just felt like he had to let me know. I was quiet and so was he as he looked at me awaiting my answer.

I told him that I don’t have feelings for him and I think that him confessing to me will ruin the friendly relationship between us and I told him that I’d tell my sister because I didn’t want her to misunderstand. But he begged me not to tell my sister because he still wanted to date her and I told him that he can’t date someone if he doesn’t have feelings for them.

I found my sister and pulled her aside while telling her that there was something she had to know and we went to the bathroom which was fairly quiet and I told her about what J had told me. She looked at me silently for a few seconds before going outside the bathroom.

I followed her and saw her take J away by the hand as they went to a room, I couldn’t focus on the party anymore and kept looking up to see if J would leave but he didn’t leave. Even after the party was beginning to end, they were still up there. I thought maybe it had gone bad and that J had probably hurt my sister so I told my friend what happened and we both went to check on her.

We found them cuddling on her bed and immediately she saw me, she told me to get out of her room. I was confused and asked what I had done. She told me that she’s always known that I was jealous of her relationship with J and that she couldn’t believe I’d go as far as lying about J confessing to me

Apparently J told my sister that we were talking about anime while getting more drinks and I began to confess about how I liked him from the moment I saw him and that he tried to reject me nicely but I ran off to B and “told her a completely different story” just to make J look bad.

Everyone thinks I’m lying and trying to break them up when J was the one who is twisting the story, i don’t know what to do.

So im sharing this partly to get it out of my system, part ranting, part wondering how are others’ experience like, part giving advice also.

Last week during one of the weekend, I was just eating alone at a regular neighbourhood coffeeshop i frequent, while reading manhwa on phone. It was about 3pm so it was not crowded.

Then suddenly one guy approached me and said ‘hello, can we talk for a bit’.

I was slightly taken aback. Wondering if he is trying to evangelise, or getting donation, or asking me to sit somewhere else, etc.

So i looked around to confirm that there were plenty of seat before raising my eyebrows and answered: ‘yes?’

Him: ‘I saw you as im eating from the table there and thought you are cute. Can I have your number?’

I was shocked. Jerk reaction to look around to make sure there was no hidden camera or that he was talking to someone else.

Then i looked back at him in disbelief, didn know how to answer.

Then i got self-conscious, considered i was wearing like a slob, no makeup, eating halfway sweating because of the chilli, was also looking at phone and quiet giggling like a crazy person reading manhwa, then realised someone was watching me all along?! It was so embarassing! (Then I also feel flattered that someone still say i look cute lah).

But at that point of time, i didn really know how to answer. So I kinda say sth along the line: ‘Err, thanks? But this is the first time i encounter this, so i dont know what to say’

Him: ‘Oh, this is my first time also’ (awkward laugh) ‘Can I get your number?’

Me thinking internally: ‘Shit, this guy is serious? He look like a nice person, should I give my number? But there are a lot of scammers these days. Maybe telegram better? Wait, since he eat here, then maybe he also stay around this area? What if he is a psycho and follow me home. Maybe i just ask to eat together, then we can just talk first? Good to make friend with neighbour also. Shit, how to tell him that. But im so unglam eating right now. It is weird if i tell him to let me finish my food first?’

So about 5 seconds of silent while i was thinking on what to say.

Then i decided i was gonna tell him: ‘No, but maybe we can exchange telegram’.

When I said: ‘No…’

He cut me off and said something along the line of: ‘I understand’ Then walked away.

I was a bit dumbfounded. After about 5 second or so,,, i decided to just get back to my food and manhwa.

After got home, that experience felt soooo out-of-norm for me. Like i was in the manhwa i was reading. In the end i decided to just get on with life. but for the last week, i felt kinda conscious when im eating at that coffeeshop :/

anyone encounter this before? Not sure if that guy is serious or just fool around. I was wondering if it is normal to pick girls at coffeeshop.

So I guess my message to all guys out there who are serious, i know u guys may be nervous, but the girl may be nervous also? So maybe better let the girl finish the food first? Or let her finish the sentence.

Also, anyone know anyone who did this last week? Maybe tell that guy to try again, haha. If he is serious, I wanna tell him I appreciate his bravery and gesture. Dont give up.

TL;DR; He asked for her number in coffeeshop; she didn want to give number but willing to share tele; he walked away before she could complete the sentence.

Edit: someone from comment suggested for guys to give contact instead of asking from girls. Maybe that will work better, haha.

I was at West Coast park ytd with my mum, who is 60 with a recovering ankle injury hence she will need to walk slowly, and my 89 year old granddad in a wheelchair.

I was casually pushing my granddad along the path at the entrance of West Coast Park when we suddenly heard someone yelling from behind.

“ Move away stupid ! “

So we both turned and this Vietnamese lady who was pushing her kid in a stroller and her husband started to “shoo us away” and proceeded to point to me my mum and my granddad and said “ One two three take so many space I can’t even move. Since traffic light you take so many space” (she wasn’t at the traffic light with us only a couple of other Singaporeans and their kids)

My mum looked at her and said ,” We are standing on the left, you could say was excuse me and we would have moved instead of yelling like that”

She didn’t take it well and started yelling at my mum saying that she is not a good person and she don’t want to say excuse me and that we should give her the way. Her husband, whom I think can’t speak a single weird of English except quiet quiet, was nonchalant to everything. I kinda knew then that she akin to a Vietnamese Karen and told my mum to just ignore. The lady continued to walk on our right (irony as she is now blocking everyone else) and kept yelling at my mum and threatening her saying “ AUNTIE AUNTIE YOU OLD I CALL YOU AUNTIE YOU DONT LIKE IS IT HUH YOU DONT LIKE”

So I went up to her and said ,” We already moved if you’re going to continue behaving this way, I’ll have to call the police cause you’re threatening someone and my granddad looks frightened of your behaviour”

She responded by saying ,” Go call go go call you Singaporeans little bit call police”

I then started to discreetly video record the conversation on my phone (to prevent any allegations) and I think the husband took notice and restrained the wife and they both walked away from us. She took a photo of us and well, I did the same but oh well.

What would you have done? I’m not one who believes in confrontation and would just ignore but my mum feels that it isn’t right for a foreigner to yell at someone like that.

Also while they were cursing at my mum, everyone just looked and one Malay uncle even came up and said to us “You wanna fight go home and fight”, which scares me cause what if my mum was alone with my granddad and she was confronted that way.

Feeling very sensitive right now.. so if anyone here able to give me some advices or help would be good.. if you are here to judge or “stupid bro” or flame me.. or if the mod takes the post down.. Okay..

Turning 25(M) next year, I just lost all my savings due to my pride and ego.. to Crypto leveraging.. to some of you maybe like.. 25k is not a lot to you.. okay.. it’s not all in one shot loss.. but over the course of 1 year

I am very worried, I have no upcoming plans or future.. I only hold a diploma. I have no idea how to continue my life.. it’s really very tough to swallow down.. the fact that now I even have trouble buying food for myself.. I feel like I’m better off dead than living.. I am such an embarrassment..

EDIT: Got into it because I want to.. faster get out of my family.. it’s complicated and toxic.. and I really don’t want to be here so I wanted to be financially stable before moving out forever ended up backfiring so badly.. Got stuck so hard during 1st May 2022, market crash.. ever since then it’s been nothing but pain..

Focus on what you can control

Hey man, I hope you are feeling better. You are still young. You have your greatest asset = time. Some people are willing to pay a lot of money to become young again. I do not know you personally, but what you can focus on is what you can control.

1.) Start going to the Gym or start exercising. This helps your mental well-being.

2.) If you are still working on a job, try to save instead of speculating for now.

3.) Take out whatever cash you have in your crypto account. It’s your choice if you want to cut your losses from active positions.

4.) Find a part-time job on weekends.

5.) Consider taking a degree that is related to a lucrative industry.

6.) If you are good at persuasion, you can consider sales and there is no income to your ceiling.

7.) Focus on exchanging time for money, product for money, and skill sets for money.

8.) You either help businesses save time or make more money.

9.) Carousel arbitrage: If you are able to spot crazy mispricing opportunities you can make make a good sum of money. I had a friend who made 30k from laptop arbitrage in Uni

10.) E-commerce.

Life lessons

It doesn’t matter in the long run. I bought ILPs and whole life insurance policies from a “friend” back when I was a student, and I had to swallow up a $15K lesson after letting it run for a few years as a result of that. While these are tough lessons to learn, the most important thing to ask yourself is at the end of all of this, where do you see yourself in the end?

If what you have learnt is simply “to double down” and to dabble on risky investments once again in order to “gain financial independence”, then history will repeat itself once again; you will simply walk right back into the trap where it first began.

However, if you take these as important life lessons and realize that the best investment you can do for yourself is yourself, then you will realize that there is virtually “unlimited” potential that you can do – where no amount of investment can possibly make.

You are still 24, and while I am a year older than you, you are still young. There is plenty of time for you to change course and make meaning out of the lessons you have learnt today. Don’t do anything foolish to yourself, because as you get older, your earning power would be bigger than what it is today. Take this as an important lesson that despite being young, risky investments affects us all and does not care whether you are 20s or 50s.

The lesson can be learnt from a loss of 25K at an age of 24, or from a loss of 250K at an age of 45. Ask yo

I’m leaving my fiancé because he’s fat and it’s just not attractive to me anymore

Hi all. I’m 26f and my bf is 30m. We started dating when I was 21. Planned to get married. Happy couple, blah blah blah.

But where it all goes downhill is when I started gaining weight. Happy weight that you gain when your in a relationship and super comfortable. I got to about 87kg, originally I weighed 53.

This bothered him immensely. He started telling me that I wasn’t attractive even when it was only a little weight gain. How he still wanted me but he wasn’t sure he could put up with me letting myself go. Said he was going to leave me.

If I’m being honest, he wasn’t exactly skinny himself. In fact, he weighed about 95kg when we first had this conversation. Like me, he had also gained while in a happy relationship. I didn’t think of that at the time though. I felt ashamed of myself. So I started going to the gym, making routines, eating a lot better.

All the while, he’s not making any effort to work out with me. I tried to convince him but he refused, always told me he was busy or wasn’t feeling well. Eventually I stopped asking. I got back down and now I’m 56!! Obviously he was happy that his fiancé was “attractive” again. Even agreed to pay for my tummy tuck from all the loose skin from my weight loss. Now that that is all said and done, he has still refused to lose weight.

I told him that I didn’t think we were compatible anymore. That I didn’t think I found him attractive, and we should go our separate ways. Obviously he’s angry. He keeps begging me to stay, throwing accusations at me that I just used him to get “hot again”. I just think I’ve realized that I want to be with someone that loves me no matter what, no matter the weight.

I still love him, but the relationship just seems like he wants me as his little doll that he can show off. Just not something I’m into.

Edit: Haha no where did I claim that all my weight was from “happy weight” yall. Please learn some comprehension 🙏. And even if I thought that way who cares? I’ve got a brand new body to enjoy, that I worked hard for. My old body is gone.

I’m not 95kg anymore. I’m now 56kg. I mentioned this in the post. I dropped the weight and got a tummy tuck. And no, I’m not paying him back. It was a gift 😉

I think my best friend wants my boyfriend

I (21F) have been with my boyfriend (21M), we will call him Matt, for 4 and a half years. We are a very healthy happy relationship, he’s my favourite person in the world. I have been very close friends with a a girl (21F), we will call her Cassie, since we were 11 years old. Our friendship has had it’s bumps but overall its been a pretty good one.

Cassie has been single for just under 2 years, and she’s often talking about how she wants a fling or a boyfriend, specifically someone like my Matt. We are very mindful and considerate of the fact that she is lonely, so when we hang out as a group or even the three of us, Matt and I don’t show each other really any affection or lovey dovey stuff as we know she could get upset. I believe that she idolises him because of how amazingly he treats me, so overtime this has formed into a lust and desire for him. There have been a few instances however where she has really crossed a line and I don’t know what to do about it.

Cassie has a private account on Instagram, where she told me she has only girls and Matt on it. This was weird because her and Matt are friendly, but she only knows Matt as my boyfriend, not her friend. Anyway, she began posting extremely suggestive videos of herself on this story which was weird to post on something you just had your girlfriends on. One specific time she was posting her trying on clothes, including these tiny shorts which she was shaking her ss in right in front of the camera. Why did she want just her girlfriends and Matt to see this?

Another instance is one girls night, we were all talking about our typical types. She starts describing Matt, and my other friend actually pointed this out saying she thought she was describing Matt also.

She is always calling him cute, handsome and gorgeous. Not just to me, but to his face too. She baby talks him like he’s her own boyfriend, and no she does not do any of this stuff to anyone else, just Matt.

The most recent occurrence is what has really made me put all the pieces together. Cassie and I were planning on watching movies in my room for the afternoon. Matt was still at my place and was with my younger sister in her room, but was about to leave.

When she first arrived, we went and sat in my room and immediately she goes “Tell Matt he can come sit with us, he doesn’t have to hide in the other room.” which he wasn’t because he was with my sister. So I went and told him and he said “nah I’m going home now for a bit anyways”, and Cassie says “What why? Am I not fun enough for you.” really weird and awkward, Matt just laughed and left.

A few hours later he came back to my place and came in my room to say hi, then he then went in our lounge room. Cassie was showing me her saved tiktok edits of hot guys, and she gets to one and goes “This guy looks so much like Matt.”

Then comes the worst part. She showing me a couple on tiktok that she thought was really cute, and Matt came into my room to grab his charger. As she was showing me this tiktok of the couple, she was not looking at Matt, she was not showing Matt the video, she was just watching it.

She then lets out a MOAN and said “Ugh Matt!”, and then acted like it didn’t just happen. This was so weird, did she say it on accident? Why was she thinking of MY MATT when watching a relationship video? It was so weird and Matt and I were incredibly uncomfortable.

I do really love Cassie, I just do not know what to do about this. But this whole ‘crush’ has seemed to grow over the past few weeks, I really want to be wrong about it but theres so many situations I just don’t know if I can get past it.

I’ve spoken to Matt about it and he agrees and said it makes him really uncomfortable and he doesn’t want to be around her. I also don’t want to ruin our friendship or hurt her feelings because she’s really sensitive and over the top. What do I do?

Regret putting deposit on a car costing half my life savings, anyway to refund?

I put down the deposit in late jan… so 7 days cooling period wont apply?

Been thinking about the big ticket purchase and having second thoughts cos it took me about 6-7 years to save up the amount.

Test drove the car and it was really a yolo moment. Its a cool car but i could have put that money towards a house downpayment.

Now the rational me is beating up the yolo side in me. I’m pretty sure i will enjoy driving the car a whole lot but I’m doubly sure ill enjoy a larger house more.

I’m 32….single no loans or family commitments

Netizens’ comments

• Can sleep well tonight….you took 6-7 years just to save the downpayment?
  So many shit advice in this thread, enjoy slaving into your 60s
  • (OP) No 6-7 years is to save entire car amount. Dp is around 10k iirc
• sorry for asking but what car is it? im curious
  • (OP) Its an ev car with one of the nicest interiors. And yes i topped up for the interiors cos the test drive car was that spec…
• Unless you think you’ll have problems paying the monthly instalments, perhaps just lean into your original decision and enjoy the drive when the car arrives.
  Life is short, you won’t be able to take all your savings to the grave anyway… might as well spend some of it when you’re relatively young and have no commitments yet.