The man who sexually assaulted me just sent me a follow request on instagram

My gf cheated on me when I was about to propose to her

I (25M) caught my gf (24F) in bed with another guy. Last week I came early from work to surprise her with a custom ring I made myself that I have been working on for 4 months.

Spent 2 months making a smartphone app just for us that includes all our memories together, all our pictures, our favorite songs, our favorite quotes, all our drawings, etc.

Spent 2 full weeks on a drawing that I made of us together, and it was the first drawing that I actually liked how it looks.

I told her friends and my friends that I am proposing to her today and told them to keep it a secret, and everyone, including me, were excited.

These stuff are just what I did for the proposal. When we started living together, I changed the room the painting in the room to her favorite color, lights that change on voice command, and some other stuff. I did all that just to make her happy.

These stuff are stuff you can see. I gave her all my attention, all my time, all my efforts, bought her so many gifts, always stayed with her whenever she needed me.

More than once I left work because she needed me in emergency. More than once I stopped at the side of the road because she has important stuff to tell me.

When I’m not around and sleeping somewhere outside the house, I would leave my phone unmuted in case she needed me.

These are just few things I done for her. I never asked anything in return, and she really never done anything for me anyways, and I was okay with it. All I wanted was her to stay loyal.

So yea, I came home with the ring in my hand and all the surprises ready to show her, but saw her with another guy on our bed.

I will skip all the stuff I did and just say I kicked them both outside. She said “he is better than you anyways. He understands me and I am happier with him”.

That was last week. I barely ate anything this entire week and couldn’t sleep for 2 days. Her friends stop talking to her and I am happy that I have people around me, but I still cry over her every day since it happened.

I gave her the world and all I wanted from her is to stay with me. I don’t understand what I did wrong. I feel a little better now, but it still hurts me so much. I am planning to sell the house and look to live somewhere else so I can forget her.

I’m pregnant with my boyfriend’s baby and I’ll be giving it up for adoption without his knowledge.

I’m currently pregnant and in a long distance relationship with my boyfriend of 2 years. Our relationship isn’t going to survive and it’s too late to abort. I didn’t realize I was pregnant until it was too late. He doesn’t know I am pregnant.

My family would disown me if they found out I was pregnant out of wedlock with a white man’s baby. I’m hoping I can slow fade this phase from my life and move on from it all.

I’m lying to everyone but I have to protect my honor. I already lost it by sleeping with my boyfriend without being married but I have no other choice.

He was my first and I thought I was going to marry him but he cheated and ruined our relationship.

I am sorry but I have no other choice.

Netizens’ comments

• We’ve all gotta make hard decisions. And to be honest, this sounds this the best option for all involved. The child will grow up with two loving parents, and you’ll get a fresh start with more life experience under your belt. Good luck, OP.
• Bio dad should at least be listed on the birth certificate. Adopted kids spend their lives searching for answers to questions like are my conditions due to genetics? Will my child be ok? Having known people who were adopted and had no history of bio parents I implore you to please give the child that.
• Personally I feel the biological dad has a right to find out, what if he wants to be a single dad? You can’t take away that option from him . If he’s okay with proceeding with adoption then let your friend have it, talk to your ex about the option of keeping it under the wraps

I ended it with a guy and had to tell him 100+ times throughout the night it’s my choice if I don’t want to date him.

He is now blocked because he kept trying to justify himself as a person and why he is a perfectly nice guy.

It doesn’t matter if we’ve been dating one month or 5 years, a woman has a right to leave if things are not suited to her. But dating has been hard because while I’m okay with a casual relationship, there are some guys who get so serious so quick to the point where they won’t take no for an answer .

I guarantee if I wasn’t so quick to block that guy he’d have begged for at least a few more days, despite me literally telling him I don’t like him as a person, don’t like his personality and that he is an asshole.

submitted by /u/LifeIsntFairIsItEh
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Left over trauma from NS/Government workplace culture.

Basically, NS/Govt working culture used to be orders directed. You follow the guy on top, don’t ask questions. You ask question, rock the boat, point out inconsistencies and flaws, you kena fucked up by your superior.

Still learning how to unlearn this. This style of work doesn’t work in the real world where things are result orientated, not wait for superior orders.

Not gonna be a cake walk but trying to learn how to speak up more in meetings and such.

Is this a common thing? Or am I just slow in learning IRL working culture.

Netizens’ comments

1. Never thought it was a common thing but maybe 4 years of uni between NS and work allowed it to fade. How long were you there, man….
2. Not true though, you never bring up or highlight you will also kenna f. You just need to be tactful when you do so/how you do so and always cover yourself
3. I think it’s not really a NS/Government thing but i also won’t deny such cultures exist in the public sector. For myself, who mostly worked in the public sector, i’ve never felt that i was penalized or prevented from speaking up in any kind of setting.
   Of course, some things you just don’t say in meetings and are meant for more dedicated/specialised people. From the moment i stepped in, i was taught to first cover for yourself, then your colleagues – your team – your department – your company. What this means is if my manager is proposing something i don’t agree with in a meeting with other audiences outside for of his level, i’d make a note and bring it up to him privately after.
   Team dynamics and boundaries are important things to take care of. You do not want other teams to take note that you are superceding your manager/boss. Likewise, you do not want external vendors to witness internal arguments too – no matter how many different teams in a meeting, where external parties are present the teams need to stand as one company. EDIT: But this won’t be up to you to enforce…and i guarantee there will be some people who don’t care and just whack/smacktalk regardless of who’s present.
   I would make a suggestion in this context that you start with talking AFTER a meeting, where during you take down the points you wanted to have some discussion, with your peers and immediate superiors first. Eventually, your manager/superior should gradually be more comfortable with you leading discussions during the meeting itself.
   I think it’s a good trait to have and the public service needs more people who can carry discussions upwards. Whether or not management/stakeholders listen is one thing but we need to start somewhere.