My widowed mother recently informed my elder bro and I that she will be selling off her flat. 1st HDB appt done.

The proceeds will go 100% to our younger bro coz he needs it. She will move into his flat as he resides overseas.

Her flat was meant to be a safeguard for retirement & where she can collect passive rental income from renting out some of the rooms.

Relations in the family has soured. My mum even asked if my elder brother could cough out the whole sum from his personal savings to give to the youngest son so she can stop the sale.

Mind you it’s hundred of thousands here. Otherwise, she will proceed and she’s just informing us, not consulting us about the flat.

If your living mum cuts you out of her assets and gives everything to one child, what is your reaction to this decision knowing well that in her old age, she will need monetary support?

Mind you, I’m the go to child for errands, not the precious youngest child. I don’t want to make this a topic of money either but it’s inevitable and money spoils relationships.

Me and parter have two kids. We are currently in a bad financial situation and living with my mother-in-law.

He goes out with friends regularly, regardless of funds and if we can afford it. Recently I had to pay a really important bill alone because he spent his entire portion drinking with friends.

I have no access to his bank account, I have no idea where his money goes and any time I try and talk to him about how he spends his money it turns into a fight. Today he informed me he’s going drinking again. I asked how he was paying for that and he said he would be I said we couldn’t afford and his response was to demand how I would know that.

We had an argument and he said he could afford to spend X amount of money and I said clearly not considering I had to pay your portion of the bills he said something along the lines of “I actually work for my money” and left. I don’t think I’m in the wrong.

Here are what netizens think:

• Get out of this relationship as soon as possible.
• Sounds like you married a pig that only eats and drink and has zero care for the world.
• Take the kids and run, go file for whatever you need to file and make sure its the end of it.

Should I move out.

Im a single female in my late 20s staying with my parent, I have been looking to move out due to certain circumstances and conflicts with them.

Also it takes me more than an hour to travel to work so I thought maybe it would be good to rent a place nearer to my workplace to save time traveling

Just wondering though would it be practical to spend $400-700 on rental when I earn a monthly take home salary of $2k.

Here are what netizens think:

• Not practical. Insufficient income is only one factor. More importantly, this is a portion of money you will be throwing away on rent when you already have a home to live in. That money can go towards your future home when you do intend to settle down with a partner. It is impractical to be unnecessarily renting a place for the sake of travel convenience and family conflicts. Both of which are generally obstacles in life we just have to make do with or find a workaround to resolve.

• Totally support you to move out, share a room with someone or a friend, then you will gain freedom and independence that you crave. Either you will appreciate your parents more or grow up faster. I’m sure you hv savings from earlier years of working. Late 20s, you definitely need to move out and be independent

• That’s not prudent! Just go home to sleep only and stay outside as much as u can

• Sometimes the condition of a person tells a lot. Drop ego so that u can live better. Instead of always being stubborn

Am I being too soft hearted

I got to know a girl from Taiwan few months ago who was working in Singapore under S pass.

Let’s call her ‘D’. She was a sweet lady, very well-mannered, compassionate and very family oriented. We got along really well and soon became attached. We met almost everyday and spent our weekends together , shopping for groceries, going to the beaches, watching movies and much more.

We were like any other couples who were in love. We shared our joy and problems .. we talked about our family and anything under the roof. She said I made her feel special and happy, a feeling that she had never gotten from other guys. I told her I am serious in the relationship and she acknowledged and told me that if time permits, she would bring me to her hometown to meet her family and bring me around. I was really happy when she told me that.

2 months ago, due to some family matters, she had to go back to her hometown. Our communication got lesser after she went back and shortly after she told me she has to cancel her permit as her dad wanted her to stay in her hometown and that she would never be able to work in Singapore anymore.

As the communication got lesser, I felt something not right.. I asked if she is seeing someone else. She said no but that her dad had wanted her to settle down in her hometown and had suggested that she get married to a close friend’s son whom she said she has never met and she was considering as her dad is getting old.. she felt that it was right to stay and take care of her dad.

My heart sunk when she told me that but at the same time I respected the way she thinks. We continued to chat via text like we used to but the frequency got lesser and lesser. Then,I knew it was hard for us to be together.

Her birthday was last month and I told her I had bought her present and would ask a common Taiwan friend to pass to her when she meets her in Taiwan. D suggested that if I had the time, she would want me to pass to her myself.

I was uncertain as I felt she had been cold in our chats and I wouldn’t want her to make me feel like I am just a normal friend when I see her. I went eventually.

I was really happy when things were like when we were in Singapore. We held hands , we kissed, the feeling was the same. We had a good talk and I asked her again if she is seeing anyone in her hometown.. she told me no again. I asked her about the arranged marriage by her dad, she said she had not made up her mind. . She told me she had spoken to her dad about me and that her dad needed time to think about it. She said once she settled all the issues, she would bring me to see her dad. I told her I would give her time and am ready to settle down with her. She said she was happy to hear that from me. I came back to Singapore with full of hope.

However, few weeks ago, I got to know from the common friend that D has intended to get engaged this month and this guy she was going to get engaged to was in fact her boyfriend in Taiwan whom she knew about a year ago.

I was shocked and heartbroken but I pretended not to know. I hinted to her a few times in our chats that I felt something not right and asked if she has anything that she wanted to tell me.. She ignored.

Then came the day that I couldn’t take it and told her I knew everything about her and her boyfriend and told her we should have a good talk and end everything nicely. The text message that she gave me was .. “we can’t chat like that anymore because few more days, I will…” that was her exact words.. she couldn’t even finished the sentence in the chat and didn’t have the courage to confess to me that she lied and that she indeed has plan to get engaged to her boyfriend. My heart was deeply hurt.. but I kept cool and wished her all the best..

There were moments that I felt so angry when I think back how she has lied to me that I wanted to expose her wrongdoings to her presumably husband now. I would be able to connect with him if I wanted to. I wanted to tell him She has cheated on both of us.. but I ended up suffering alone in silence and felt the other guys is innocent.

Few days ago I saw her engagement photos, she was wearing a ring that I gave to her. It was hurtful. I don’t know if she felt sorry or guilty when taking those photos .. she seemed to have a good time but I am here suffering alone.

I know it’s easy to say.. let it go.. but the hurt is really deep. I am just worried I would get drunk one day, can’t control myself and expose everything out to the other guy.

It’s Hard. I don’t hate you but am utterly disappointed with You ‘D’

need some advice from fellow working peeps

Been working in my company for a year and thinking to change job. Applied to a bigger company without much expectations but ended up being granted an interview session.

HR wants me to start ASAP if I pass the interview.

I am feeling slightly hesitant. My company only has a one-month notice period and that means the earliest I can start with them is in mid-November or early December. This means that I will have to forfeit my AWS.

Just wondering if there is any way to nicely tell the interviewer that I am only keen to start in January after collecting AWS ?

Or perhaps can I use my AWS to negotiate for higher salary? Would really appreciate some advice!!”

Here are what netizens think:

• Can be done. I made the mistake of not mentioning and end up forfeiting my bonus for nothing then I know in big mnc this can be discussed with the HR. Just state ur concern to HR as this is a common issue. Request to start at a later date and mentioned it’s due to was. If hiring manager insist on starting immediately negotiate for a higher base salary in order to recover the loss (estimate say recover in 3 to 5 months). Anyway it’s just one month bonus, think in long term, if the company has better prospect in progression just go even if they say no to the options above (not likely for experience position, normally should have room to negotiate). Money will surely roll in later if prospect is good.

• Ask if your new company can buy in (ie. Pay your forfeiture sum when you don’t serve notice)

• If they need your expertise badly and they can’t find anyone else, then they will have to wait for you or compensate your loss. Depends on how hot you are…

I was in a relationship the whole of secondary school. I was together with my ex from 13 to 16. I realise i crave for male validation a lot since i knew what it was due to not having a father figure since birth.

The 3.5y i was tgt w my ex started off sweet & simple, till the 2.5y mark. He cheated on me and was very violent. The first time he laid hands on me was the first time i confronted him about his cheating. I left immediately because i knew i will not stay in an rs like this,

That night he came to my house and got on his knees to beg me for forgiveness and promised he wont ever lay hands on me. I believed. My heart was soft. I was young & dumb.

This was a toxic cycle that went on for a year. We broke up on and off, i too seeked validation from other males during the period we broke and patch constantly.

The relationship came to an end when i graduated from sec sch, i was determined tht it was going to be a phase of my life i need to leave behind so i left for good. No closure on his end no nothing, i was always the one holding onto the rs.

It took loads of courage. It was extremely difficult bc aft all i did give him 3.5y of my life. I did extremely well for O levels, i was so happy & i wanted to let him know but i didnt want to go back crawling. Fast forward 7 years ltr, he still wishes me on my birthday yearly even till now.

I’m 23. I stopped replying to his birthday texts about 3 years after our rs ended. I regret giving him all of me when i was young, i was stupid & i took extremely long to heal properly from the relationship and the trauma it has brought me. I became rebellious after secondary school & almost dropped out of JC because i didnt know how to cope with these feelings. I was literally living on edge during JC till i met my fiancé whn i was in uni.

I’m getting married next septemeber with my fiancé who ive been seeing for 4 years, who showed me I deserve to be loved. Gave me emotional support throughout my whole uni life & when i first started working. Understood what ive been through and has always been understanding.

My fiancé is a great guy, 25, smart, tall & good looking. He has never once made me insecure or doubt him and constantly showering me with love & reassurance.

Dont get me wrong, i am extremely happy in this relationship but first loves.. they always have a special place in your heart. But just a bittersweet feeling of how my first love & i couldve been getting married if he didn’t cheat.

Ive nvr told anyone this or shared this story because i dont like the sympathy, everyone thought we broke up due to us growing apart when i was studying for my Os. I cant wait to get married to my fiancé, but i dont know if i wanna invite my first love because i want him to witness how happy i am with my life & relationship now.

Help

I’m 27 and my girlfriend is 34. We have know each other for about 5-6months and officially together as a couple for about 4 months.

Here’s the thing, I didn’t told her my real age in the beginning as I’m afraid that she wouldn’t wanna date me because I’m younger than her and hence I told her I’m 30.

I’m stuck between confessing to her about my real age or I just don’t tell her at all. What should I do??? I really love her and want this relationship with her

Netizens’ comments

1. Not much difference between 27 and 30. I don’t get what’s the hoohah about. You told a lie at the end of the day. It’s the lie that you should be trying to resolve, not the age gap matter. You are still too immature for her I think.
2. There shouldn’t be lies between you two. If you wanna continue and eventually have family of your own. Honesty is the foundation. Think of making a family like building house. If you don’t have a solid foundation, and continue to build on the lie, eventually everything will crumble. Fix the foundation now.
3. listen to her response when you tell her a story about a couple of of 7 years age difference then you decide whether to tell her the real age or not
4. listen to her response when you tell her a story about a couple of of 7 years age difference then you decide whether to tell her the real age or not

I just want people to help me clarify something here; I used to work for a large corporation but recently switched to a small company. When I first arrived, the boss and director were extremely pleasant. After two months in the company, the boss’ true colors emerged.

1) He texted me about work 24 hours a day, seven days a week. He also asked my colleague not to text him on Sunday because that is his day off.

2) He has an extreme mood swing. Everything is fine as long as he is happy. When he’s in a bad mood, he treats his employees like they’re his dogs.

He can bite on something minor, text hurtful words, and the way he talks makes you feel like he could fire you at any time. He can even call you and speak to you rudely. But when he sees us in the office, he will say hello, bye, and smile.

It feels like I’ll be subjected to mental torture by him, but I’ve only been with this new company for four months. I have worked at all of my previous jobs for at least three years.

Will you all consider whether this type of culture is healthy in the long run?