So for context, I (29f) have been a store manager for a famous retail food franchise for 3 months. I started under one owner who was terrible, so after 7 weeks of literally not being allowed to do my job.

I applied for another outlet and got hired. While I’m a lot happier here, I’ve gotten a lot more irritable toward my boss.

am I in the wrong or justified?

Context: I’ve been giving my mum 1/6 of my $630 allowance each month but recently I’ve had second thoughts about giving it to her since I want to save enough money for my own expenditure AND i am planning to go for therapy sessions, but I don’t want to seem “unfilial”(?)

Idk how to go about talking to her about it as every time I brought up money issues that I had, she just kept demanding for it anyways.

I know it’s a norm in SG culture to give back to parents once u start “working” but now I can’t seem to part with my money as easily. Am I being stingy? Would really like to hear everyone’s thoughts on this.

Netizens’ comments

• Bro explain to her that u need to save for ur future expenses once u ord trust me u wont land a job immediately and if u gonna go back to school u need to save for ur fees and expenses what not u include transport food everything else not even much left to save
• It’s not an SG culture thing. NS allowance is NOT SALARY. So I don’t see the need to give any.
• is she the one carrying the field pack? marching? cleaning the rifle? sleeping in the jungle? spending 5 days away from home every week?
  if she can survive on her own with her own money and her own savings I see no reason as to why you have to give her a part of your allowance. especially since you want to use some of it for your own mental health. save some, spend some, be happy. keep the money. I hope she can see reason, or leave you alone at least.
• That is simply unreasonable. $630 is barely enough to cover our essential spending, not forgetting that we have to save up for future needs like pursuing higher education. You can try talking to her and explaining your situation.

Why does the guy that I have crushed on before either has a girlfriend or the person is gay?

Sometimes I really doubt my taste and I have a bit of phobia now. When I crush on someone else, I feel very worried that the person is gay.

Maybe this is because of my past experience and observation. I feel that gays are mostly very detail-oriented, gentle and approachable. As a female, I found it very easy to talk to this kind of guy.

However, when I really like someone else, I will rather not do anything. I will probably just observe first. I have a crush on my colleague and I really suspect he is gay.

He is able to befriend all the females in the workplace and includes the female boss as well.

I have observed him for a very long and this person is nice to every girl unconditionally (actions like sharing bubble tea in the same cup, food and writing encouraging messages). From what i observed, this colleague always interacts with any of the female colleagues without any specific motive.

When taking MRT back home, I also observed that he will not particularly look at females and how females dress (my other female colleagues are quite pretty and always dressed themselves until very cute and lovely).

I don’t know if he is just someone who can interact easily with women or he is gay. Anyway, i hope he doesn’t know that I have a crush on him, because it will be so awkward in the workplace.

I just hope this feeling of crushing on someone else will leave me soon. When i crush on a person, my IQ really drops a lot and this affects my judgement.

Hopefully my brain can stop releasing hormones and stop tricking me to find a boyfriend for passing down my genes

I need opinions here and don’t mind harsh ones. It is a long post so thank you for reading this and giving your opinion.

I have growing resentment for my husband.

Everytime when I tried to say something serious, he would either laugh it off or pretend to forget if I did not bring it up. I would always, and I mean ALWAYS need to use divorce as a means for him to take me seriously.

For example, I had told him I do not want to stay with in laws after first child is born. He continued to brush off my concerns and pretend to forget until one day I could not take it anymore and just decided to pack my stuff and go back to my mother’s house with kid. Then he took it seriously.

Another example, I told him that we should open a savings account ever since first child is born. A few years later, after the 2nd child is born, the account has not been opened. And yes, we have ZERO savings for the kids. He didn’t think it was a problem. I mentioned if he does not want to have a saving account, then might as well divorce because it makes no difference to me. Yes we finally went to open one. But he is not willing to credit his earnings into the account and pretends to forget until I remind him.

I had no choice but to put my 2nd born into infantcare and look for a job because my savings are depleting. I have PND and with two kids would not be able to commit to my previous job scope. The first job I found was somewhat like tuition. Everyday I would need to travel and teach for 1 hour for $50. He ask me to reject the job citing there is nobody to take care of kids if they are sick. I found a second job, 8.30am to 3pm with salary 2k+ negotiable. He told me to reject citing I need to be off house at 7am, who is going to take kids to childcare.

He told me to help out with his business as cashier everyday for 3 hours, earning $12/hr. I am not willing, but he kind of force me into it. I started since last week and it was so mentally draining. Many ask me why I put my baby in school at such a young age and implied how lucky I was to marry my husband. And worse of it all, my mil was working at the same place too.

I am fuming inside me. I cannot stand the sight of my husband now. He has NO MONEY, no people management skills, just wants to look good in front of other people. Just want to create a ‘Mr Nice Guy’ image. Fyi, he has failed businesses several times and yet failed to see he is not boss material and REFUSES to get a proper job. Money is VERY important especially with 2 kids. I will only ask him for money to buy kids and household stuff and seldom ask him any to buy my own stuff.

Everytime I brought up divorce, I am ready to leave. The sight of him alone makes my blood boil. I went over to stay with my family for a few days with the kids and I was so happy. When I come back home and see him, I get agitated when I see his nonchalant and pretentious attitude towards our problems.

The latest stun was that he is going to open a business at Woodlands with his cousin and he needs to be away from 6am to 8pm. And surprise! He is going to hitch/grab to and fro everyday because ‘woodlands is too far’ and ‘It takes 1hr+ to travel’. I told him straight don’t come home. I am happier without you.

Please do not tell me to communicate with him nicely. I have tried both face to face and via text. He just pretends the problem is not there until I threaten divorce. There are many other problems. He says I am sick and need to see the doctor. I told my counsellor about our issues and she said we were a mismatch and now need to work on sorting out our mismatch.

I just feel my mental health will worsen if I continue to stay with him. I am starting to believe he is the one with the problem. I really resent him alot. To me, he is just an extremely weak person who has an ego issue. And no this is not my post natal depression speaking because our issues date back to many years ago.

Need some career advice. I graduated about a year ago. I was lucky enough to have secured a job despite the economy.

However, the people in the company was extremely toxic and I quit my job within 6 months (it was a rotation program and I quit during the 1st rotation) as I was having alot of mental health problems (panic attack, anxiety, probably depression due to the job)

I then joined this multinational company which was actively hiring and got in.

However, I now understand why they are always hiring: turnover is extremely high as the workload is very heavy.

My supervisor is also an extremely micromanager (A very polite way to put it).

During my regular check-ins with her, I mentioned how the workload might be heavy sometimes. And so she asked me to create a journal of some sort to take down how long I take to do each activity every day. In my next check-in with her, she asked me to list down and quantify how long I took to do each activity in the past week.

Above all, she commented about how my hair was messy etc ( but mind you I am in an ops position with no need of meeting any external customers)

Just wanted to clarify, that everyone I have spoken to in my team thinks that the workload is too heavy and we have high turnover rates (On average 1 year – 2 years. once, the fastest to leave would be in less than 4 weeks). Everyone wants to leave.

When the team makes a small mistake in their work, we would have to start digging out past records and my manager would press you hard to find out why did you make that particular error. Higher-ups are like that too and like to ask ‘if you screwed up’. This digging of past records served completely no purpose at all and it isn’t any life and death situation. Digging up the past records was just to prove the point to them on how you “screwed up”.

Not to mention, we still had to report back to the office despite our work being fully capable of being done at home.

I completely see no future with the team and can’t wait to leave every single day.

But with my current job record: 1st job being about 6 months and I am in my current job in only about 6 months too, would anyone hire me?

Internal transfer within my current company might be difficult as we would have to declare to our managers once we get the interview (i don’t understand too). You get the picture from there

my ex was insecure, stalker tendencies, manipulative, egoistic. Think he very good looking when he’s barely average. Act rich but actually no money. I suspect he dumped his rich ex when he decided to chase me and the ex was the one who sponsored his car and lifestyle. Very odd and suspicious that he had to sell his Rolex and car after we are together. And even odder he wants to set up a savings account with me when I’m the only one working and putting money in and him drawing it out. He wants to set up many things together with me. It’s like the more attachment together, the more secure he feels.

He claim he can’t find a job because he got to look after me and make sure I behave? Threaten me that he feel like beating up my male colleagues when they walk next to me or even talk to me at my office lobby. He would immediately walk to me and put his arm on my shoulder to walk off as a way of showing off. Its embarrassing when he’s suspicious and angry, grab my phone in public and run away, expecting me to chase after him. It’s like I did him wrong and got caught.

I don’t know why I tolerated this for months. So often I cried angry tears till my face have red dots all over and took days so subside. I was so frustrated. He was always finding things to argue. We would have happy moments then suddenly he would check my phone and accuse me of cheating or something. He cut off my friends. He deleted and blocked my best guy friend’s number. He tried to turn my mother against me. He also painted me in a bad light towards his own parents. It got to a point I don’t even know why are we still together. Towards the end there was no love left. We broke and patch so many times it was a tiring cycle. I had enough. When he started another episode again, I ended it and never looked back. He still acted like nothing happened. He refused to get it and harassed me for weeks. Until he finally understood we are really over, he started to stalk me. I asked him he doesn’t act like he love me at all so why he still refuse to let go. Then I realised it’s pointless trying to talk sense to him. He says its my fault that I drove him mad.

He would call me non stop when my house light is on. He would call non stop my house and phone number throughout the day and night. He would pop by and throw things into my house. He heavily drowned all those items with his cologne. I think he was trying to make me miss him which turned me off more. He would call my family, telling them he got something to return me, only that the item is basically useless and his. He never returned me my stuff back. I finally moved and changed all contacts to end the torture.

It’s been 5 years since and I am still traumatized. He never raised a hand at me but the verbal and emotional torture affected me so much. If you think it’s easy to move on and leave, its not. It took time to realise what the relationship had become. It will take even more time to heal from it. I still shudder and avoid areas where I am afraid of bumping into him. Last I recall, he is still spiteful that I left him. His frail ego couldn’t face rejection. I cut off friends who update me about how much he thinks of me. I cut off friends who know both of us. Ignorance will be bliss.

People who are insecure, crazy and paranoid shouldn’t get into relationships. You’ll burn everyone around you because you don’t know how to love. I know I am at fault. I wished I had the courage to end the torture earlier. I wished I saw the red flags earlier too.

Possessiveness is not love. Its ownership and power.

So I’ve (F/29) went for after-work drinks recently and most of us got very drunk. However, I was blackout drunk and I don’t even remember getting home or what happened later.

The whole night was a blur. I woke up in my bed with one of my colleagues (M/30) which I don’t even remember how he ended up at my place. Apparently, he ordered us a Grab, we got Grab food and headed to mine.

I don’t remember any of this. It was a bit of a shock in the morning as you can imagine.

He openly said that I was very drunk last night which makes me think why the hell he would get into bed with me? I’ve also checked my bank account in the morning and I’ve only paid for one drink the whole night so clearly, someone kept buying drinks despite seeing how bad of a state I was in.

I was confused and kept asking him not to tell anyone. I’ve also had to take a morning after pill. I’ve got a range of mixed emotions and don’t know what to do.

I don’t want this to come out at work but the whole situation is making me feel like I was taken advantage off.

AITA?

I was earning around 60k to 70k per annum for 10 years before quitting to be a sahm. My husband earns more than me. My husband and I paid half each during the initial payment for the house with a remaining loan of 200k. We have separate and joint accounts. He has taken over paying for almost all the expenses for both of us. Including giving me an allowance which I was able to save from it too. We are thrifty, we don’t own a car.

During the course of our marriage, he had asked me twice if we can repay some of the home loan, using both our savings. I’ve obliged as I wanted to ease his burden. I’ve not need to spend from my own pocket as he’s given me a supplementary card for all expenses and he also paylah whenever I pay for things. From kid to house stuff and even my own personal shopping, insurance and other smaller bills he would paylah me sometimes and will do it when I ask too. Basically he’s paying for almost everything and I’m grateful for that. I’m also a simple person. I used to buy Chanels and Pradas but have since adjusted my spending habits since becoming a mom. I can live on 500 or less a month if I want to. I don’t scrimp when it comes to food. I can buy things on sale but I also won’t deprive my child of a new book or toy on birthdays or xmas when my child asks for it.

We won a decent amount not long ago and we used that to fully repay our condo. We are debt free since. We didn’t tell anyone about it.

Recently his family member asked if we can invest an amount in their business. Promising huge returns. All along I’m not on good terms with them and I don’t trust them either. They have been changing what they do all along. My husband would like us to contribute to show support. He say I got the spare cash, why not? I have a strong feeling their business will fail again and we won’t get back single cent. My relatives said me and my husband are the only ones staying in condo, we should give others a chance to upgrade from hdbs. I think it’s rubbish talk.

I don’t want my husband to help them either. I have plans to work when my child gets older but whatever I have now, it’s my own savings. I feel very annoyed his relatives act like I ought to help them. I’m not a big investor so I prefer to keep most of my money in banks. I do share and invest in the same stocks as my husband so even though my husband don’t really know the exact amount that I have, he has a rough idea that I have more than 100k. I know its not a lot. But since I’m not working right now, it’s my lifeline.

AITA for refusing to give his relatives a single cent and also stopping my husband from helping them?

Honestly, i feel very confused about my current relationship now, i have met my current boyfriend during my secondary school days.. We broke up and patched up quite a few times (Most of the time i initiated the convo) many of my peers also told me to move on from him as he was stingy, selfish and he ended things off with me the past 2 times.

I often feel like it was a one-sided relationship. I’m always the one planning dates, finding new places to go, paying more than 70% for most of our meals (as he claims he does not have the financial means & mentions that i am more well to do than him), paying more on hotels and air tickets when we travel together but he can spend 40-42k on a rolex watch without thinking much..

He also never wishes me or plans dates during anniversary and doesn’t spend any money on my birthday gift. When i usually fork out money to purchase presents for him every 2-3 months..

I know i’m not supposed to expect anything back since i gave the gifts willingly.

But there was once when i was badly ill and told him to fetch me to the nearby clinic to bring me to the doctor as i was really weak and sick, he continued his sleep and i took a grab down myself (even though it was a 10 mins drive)

I’ve been keeping all these feelings to myself and thinking if one day he will reciprocate back all the things i have done for him.. I’m starting to have second thoughts on my relationship with him and thinking if i should break it off but at the same time i just can’t let him go as he was my first boyfriend and i’m not sure if i would be able to find anyone whom can click well with me.

What should i do?

Mother is adamantly against me marrying my gf of 4 years

Background : my (26m) family is from a pretty conservative family which is the case for our extended family as well. what this means is basically they impose a curfew on me of no later than 10 p.m. which is wtv until i reach 20 years old where lived with a few friends at a dorm. I was culture shocked as I could go party and hang out with friends until whatever time i wanted which was extremely liberating.

Now around this time I made a couple of bad choices which eventually lead me to crash 2 different cars within a span of 3 years. Reasonably they lost trust in me and when I had to mave back in with them (cultural reasons) that curfew is stuck in place.

I met my gf when I crashed my car (23 yo at the time) for the 2nd time (i was driving) and she was in the car with me alone. It ended up being a pretty serious accident and the car was totaled. At this point i got my life together finished my degree (24) and finally got a decent job this year. Previous 2 jobs that i had was an entry level job.

I’ve been wanting to bring my gf over to meet my parents for the past 2 years of us being together but they were always giving excuses to avoid the situation without outright saying that they do not like her (keep in mind they have never met her before). I did talk to my dad and he was resigned to it so now I need to get my mothers blessing🙄

Another reason for my mum’s reluctance is that an uncle saw gf & I smoking cigarrettes and showed them to my mum in the most shitty manner you can imagine

Please give me advice on how do to approach my mother at this point because it honestly sucks..I was never close to my parents before and the advice i got from my siblings is to wait for them to come around.