I hate it when people are over interested in my food.
For example: I have a coworker who will roll his chair 20 feet at top speed to inspect what I’m eating.

Now, he doesn’t just do this to me. He does it to everyone. Then, he hovers over your food and says “what have you got there?”

I have answered simply “potatoes” to have him respond. “mnnmmm. Yummmmmmm!! Potatoes!” And wipe gross, imaginary drool from his greedy, slovenly, begging for my food, chin.

It’s nasty and disturbing

He will call across this very large room to tell someone their YOGURT SMELLS GOOD!

he has taken my food out of the fridge and inspected it, then reported to me how amazing it looks. He tells me I am an amazing cook, which is disturbing because, to my knowledge, he has never eaten anything i have made.

Dude makes me want to skip meals. I am not alone. Most of my coworkers have stopped eating at work because of him.

Please. For the love of everything holy. Leave people and their food alone. Mind your own business.

Disclaimer. This may have been really personal, but it is now truly off my chest.

I’m a 35 year old virgin and got the attention of women for the first time in my life.

To clarify, I like to be on my own generally, not going out too much and doing my stuff at home in peace. Peace was something I started to lack the more I wanted companionship.

I was a late bloomer, when other dudes talked about women I just couldn’t care for a long time. When I did, I was a bit behind, but nothing too bad.

I worked to make up for it, got fit, dating apps, be more social and meet new people, the usual stuff.

Short version: I never had someone interested in me. I have bad social skills, so it plays a lot, obviously. At restaurants or evenings out, I’m mostly silent and don’t talk much. I’m not ugly, just average, this combined with my lack of words does explain a lot.

At 30, I stopped trying. Didn’t see much point in asking out and dating apps without success. I put the time to use on other hobbies I liked, stopped caring about others except friends, made peace with being a background character.

Not with a snap of my fingers, obviously, it took some time to find a mental balance, have enough of a social life and learn to stifle my libido and desire to for companionship. I have some dreams and goals, I work on these.

35 now, for some reason, I had women ask me out on dates during the last months. They seemed attracted to me, which hadn’t happened before. Sounded like something new and exciting, finally some intimacy and attention.

We talked around dinner I made, she knew my story, I knew hers and her string of bad experiences. She’s nice, we started as friends, but as the talk went on, I clicked that she was lowering her standards and saw me as the safe option to settle. Like I wasn’t good enough for young people, but an okayish plan B for later. Somewhere we made out, undressed, and then she asked me what was wrong.

I felt dirty. I got dressed and told her to please leave to gather my thoughts.

My libido is flaring up now, I don’t like it. People kissing makes me feel a sadness I had gotten rid of, I had a peace of mind and now I feel like I’m losing it.

Thing is, that peace is just what I want back. Not ONS or relationships, even if my libido wants to. Folks my age have grown in terms of relationships over the past fifteen years while I’m still where I was at at 18. We’re not on the same wavelength.

I want my happy introvert lifestyle back and not be bothered by love anymore, that ship has sailed. I didn’t like that experience, before I would have told you I keep the doors open, not anymore.

I needed to get it off my chest, thanks for reading.

Do Insurance agents/ Financial advisers have a bad reputation?

This thought came to me when I was at school and Prudential was having some survey on campus, but it turns out they were literally trying to sell their investment products to students.

This happened to me, and I was curious about what they were selling and when they offered some 20-year savings plan to me, I was honestly convinced it was good. But when I asked them for the 15+ page document and slowly read through everything, it was almost like a scam:

They included an “insurance program” which I don’t even know what it was for, and neither did I ask for it.

The guaranteed returns after 20 years is literally less than my principal invested amount. Factor in inflation, and I’m pretty sure that’s half of my investment gone after 20 years.

I didn’t go forward with the plan. But it does make me wonder, why do insurance agents/FAs go after students, selling them plans they probably have never heard of, with so much misleading information? I’ve heard (idk if it’s entirely true) about the bad reputation the insurance industry has, and it seems like everyone is annoyed by IAs/FAs.

But at the end of the day, everyone needs insurance, soo I doubt we can avoid them completely.

What are your thoughts on the insurance industry and has anyone had such an experience before?

My GF and I have been together for 4 years, and do not live together. We plan to move in together next June, to my place. GF has her own apartment with roommates.

My GF texted me this morning in a panic, saying somehow her bank account got really low and she doesn’t have enough for her installment or insurance or whatever.

She did just pay her university loan, and with prices going up, I know it’s been harder for her to save up a budget. She is currently an intern at her company, and doesn’t make much. I work full time at a I/T company.

She asked me if I could possibly lend her $1700 for her stuff until her payday on the 14th, and she would pay me back in 2 instalments.

I told her no, and that that was a lot of money I don’t feel comfortable giving my GF. I’m not tight for money or anything, but I just didn’t feel comfortable giving money to a girlfriend. She never texted me back, so I called her at lunch and she told me not to bother because she just asked her mom.

But she said she was a little upset with me, and felt kind of sad that I wouldnt lend her money for one thing when she’s never asked me for anything before. She said she realizes that $1700 is a bit of money, but she doesn’t understand why I just flat out refused her, after being together for 4 years.

I told her I wanted to marry her and she argued that you should want to help out someone you’re thinking of marrying.

I told her I just don’t feel comfortable giving out money to anyone, and she yelled at me about calling her “Just anyone” and hung up the phone.

Sounds like it’s over.

I (M31) recently got married last year to my wife (F29) and things have been overall pretty good. We have been together for 4 years and while we both have had struggles with our jobs, family/life stuff and drama, we have been overall happy. I was never head over heels dramatically in love, but I love her and want to grow old with her and share my life with her.

I started a new job a few months ago around the same time as another coworker, let’s call her Jane (F44). Jane is married with two children and I immediately liked her but didn’t feel anything romantic. Over the past few months, I have felt myself slowly growing more attracted to her. We had the whole work wife/husband thing going on but it’s never been anything other than friendly banter, light flirting, jokes, pet names (she calls me “boyfriend”), etc. But over the past couple weeks, I started to feel it stronger and grow into a crush and now it’s an obsession. I just find it hard to believe how quickly and how strongly my feelings grew. And it’s not like “lust” feelings like “wow she is hot”, it’s romantic “love” type feeling in my gut attraction that I thought was something you only felt when you were a teenager hopped up on hormones. I find myself, pathetically enough, obsessing over her, fantasizing about us just holding hands, thinking about her, and even dreaming about her! It’s overriding my senses and I just wasn’t ready. I almost liken it to a virus; my entire being feels infected by it.

It just doesn’t make sense, I was otherwise happily married (though my wife has been going through a rough spot and yes I have been supportive) and she is, to my knowledge, also happily married. She’s also significantly older and just in a different stage of life. I find her attractive but not in like a “supermodel” way. I find her personality VERY attractive though and it’s the primary reason I like her (very positive, humorous, powerful, driven, determined, but also sensitive and feminine). But I don’t even really know Jane beyond work interactions and here I am constantly thinking about her! She may have inkling I like her (woman’s intuition) but if so she hasn’t changed her behavior and is continuing with the light flirting, banter, etc. She likely has no clue what’s going on, not to this extent. It’s driving me crazy.

I also feel absolutely terrible. I loathe myself for this becoming what it is. I feel tremendously guilty about my wife who is devoted to me totally. I feel like I’m betraying my wife. I would NEVER cheat, EVER regardless of how I feel. She is an amazing person who actually has many of the above qualities that Jane does. I didn’t want to feel this, didn’t seek this out (beyond very innocuous banter, compliments on dress/appearance, I have been nothing short of professional), and I don’t want to feel like this. I don’t want to be falling for another woman. Especially for someone who is completely unavailable and is likely not interested (why would she? happy marriage and kids). I feel trapped and it basically feels like self induced torture. I want it to end but at the same time I still find myself looking forward to seeing her, helping her with work, any interaction, etc.

Worst of all, now I’m wondering did I grow jaded and think “love” like this wasn’t a thing? I just never felt this quite this strongly with my wife, although she is an objectively better match for me as a life partner and as I said I do love her. Did I settle because I didn’t believe in strong romantic love that makes you physically ill?

So I guess I’m looking for open ended advice and thoughts on how to resolve the situation. I strongly suspect this has much more to do with me than with either my wife or Jane. I’m definitely considering speaking to a therapist about all of this. I have always worn my heart on my sleeve and felt emotions very deeply despite my sometimes attitude toward romance so I suppose I might be extra susceptible to things like this. Thank you for listening and honestly it helped to write it all.

I know HDB is trying to stop people from monopolizing and over-saturating the HDB market.

But I am turning 35 next year and I was already ready to buy an HDB last year. However, there is this “Singles scheme” where one is only able to buy an HDB until they are 35 years old.

How is this fair?

Some people preferred to get married and therefore able to purchase their BTO or property at an earlier age.

How about people who are unable to marry cause they can’t find a gf/bf.

I am an orphan, unlike many others who are able to stay in their parent’s home, I have to pay rent all the way.

Rather than having the chance of being able to save money to buy my own home, I am forking out money every month to pay for my rental.

The worse part, with the rising prices of the HDB getting a home, will be more and more unaffordable.

When I was 33 I was already able to afford a nice 4-room but the prices have since increased and I am barely able to afford it.

From paying rent to paying for HDB now I have to work until I die before I am able to pay it off.

I know people will say “Buy 2 room or 1 room BTO”.

The question is: Who is dumb enough to buy a smaller home which has next to no investment prospects? The 4-room flat is still the most soughted-after property among the sizes.

This is a chicken and egg problem. I am stuck

Why was I born.