my Boyfriend (26m) said he’d break up with me if I (22f) got my hair cut

Hi all, So the other night my boyfriend and I were talking about style and fashion. I asked him what he thought of short hair (slightly above or above the shoulder).

He said that it was a deal breaker and that he would probably break up with me if I got my hair cut that short. This surprised me since we’ve been dating for 1.5 years and it’s just a hair cut. I have been thinking about getting my haircut shorter since the ends are dead and unhealthy. I had told him this too.

I then asked him to explain more. He said that it was not “his preference” and “I’d look like a guy” if I got my hair cut above my shoulders and it’d take too long for my hair to grow to an “acceptable” length and he doesn’t want to wait.

He then went on went to asking me why I wanted to do it. I told him my reasoning again, and he got mad saying”It’s not like you have cancer and have to cut your hair.” This rubbed me the wrong way, I mean, it’s just a hair cut. I told him I felt this was really superficial and that I still wanted to get it cut. He then said that I was just doing it to cause problems since I “knew he didn’t like it ,” and I’m directly doing something he doesn’t like.

I thought this was really controlling and it triggered a lot of self esteem issues because he kept saying how I wouldn’t be attractive if I cut my hair. I explained to him how I already don’t feel attractive and I wanted to cut my hair to try to mend that.

It also made me question the relationship since something like a hair cut would be enough for him to break up. I left that night sad and he was frustrated at me, and said that I always pick fights.

I want to talk with him more about this, but I’m not sure what to say or even if it’s a good idea to continue this conversation. Should I just drop it?

I’ll preface by saying that Me (27) and my boyfriend (30) have been together for 3 years an a half.

I’ve been jumping from one job to another while he has been unemployed due to health issues that affected his performance at work.

Usually, I’m the one handling bills, groceries, etc. I use my credit card to make any purchase I want.

Last week, My boyfriend out of nowhere asked for my credit card. I asked why since I’m the one who handles payments and supermarket trips.

He told me he wanted to buy some food and I agreed to let him take it but told him to return it later.

He got back later and when I asked about my credit card, he was like “what credit card?”. I thought he was joking so I told him to just give it back. He said he’d just keep it with him.

I asked why and he said so he could start handling paying for stuff on my behalf. I felt uncomfortable I said I’d rather not burden him with this stuff and asked him to hand over the credit card. He refused and said that “he’ll just keep it” since it doesn’t have that much money anyway. I was livid. I tried to argue but he told me to “just trust him” and let him keep it and swore he won’t spend a penny from it.

Next morning I went and canceled it, then registered a new one. He must’ve tried to use it because he called and was confused asking why the credit card was not valid anymore. I told him it was because I canceled it and registered a new one.

He lost it and started scolding me saying he couldn’t believe I had this level of petty and kept on about how I don’t trust him with my finances. and how financially abusive I have become lately. I hung up on him.

The argument continued at home and he called me paranoid and unreasonable and all that. Then he started cold-shouldering me and sulking about it for days. I do feel like I hurt his feelings and showed an amount of distrust towards him.

I have a habit of eating every last bit of food on my plate due to growing up poor.

Basically the title. Ever since I was young, I’ve had a habit of not letting food go to waste to the point where I not only eat every last bit of food I have for that particular dish, but a lot of times I lick it clean to the point where it looks like no one served food on it yet (obviously, I still wash the dish but you get the point).

There was one moment I remember distinctly where one of the aunties at one of the family gatherings I attended was so impressed that I finished everything on my plate, her literal words to my dad were, “wow, he ate every last morsel…”

At the time I didn’t know what the word morsel was until I googled it afterwards, but that was the moment I realized I had this habit.

I didn’t make the connection till today about how this habit might have been formed from my family’s circumstances growing up. My family and I grew up pretty poor. Corned-beef cabbage, spam, Vienna sausage, shoyu, rice, and eggs were all considered delicacies in our home. I didn’t even know we were poor until I saw what the other kids were bringing to school for their home lunch.

There were days where we barely had food and my parents sacrificed their meals in order to keep us from going hungry. At a young age, I knew enough to know that they were doing that so we could survive. After seeing that it makes sense now that I was the only kid that ate his vegetables. I was the only kid who cleaned his plate leaving no crumbs.

I remember all the times where people would throw away food that they could have eaten and that made me angry for some reason. Today I realize that the reason was that I knew what it was like to be unsure if we’d have food to eat that night and that developed a pet peeve of seeing others waste food.

I realized all of this when I looked in one of my take out containers that had a steak meal that I finished earlier and it looked like it hadn’t even been any food in there because I cleaned that plate up spotless.

I don’t know if this is considered a trauma response or what… I’m still learning about all my weird little intricacies I have as an adult that grew out of my childhood. But I guess that’s something I just wanted to get off my chest.

This took place at a family dinner, me, uncle, grandad, aunt, her 2 female kids, gran all present.

I’m very different from the rest of my family, most notably being the only one who isn’t at all racist, going to university, and being worth by far the most ($350k, lucky with bitcoin) at 21.

Anyway, I’m dating a Thai girl at the moment, really sweet but my family very clearly has a problem with it.

Grandmother brought the subject up for the millionth time saying a load of stereotypes e.g. eat dogs, manipulative. Repeatedly told her I don’t care, and didn’t get her to shut up but no severe reaction.

Gran then brought up the “she’s only after your money” line, something which is frankly downright dumb when I don’t tell anyone, live a normal student lifestyle, and international students notoriously get charged stupid amounts of money.

My Thai girlfriend is 10 times richer than the average Singaporean.

Pointed this all out to her, she STILL would not shut up.

A minute later she randomly says “China (she’s not even china) girls are attracted to money, be careful”. By this point I was really losing it and told her “All women are attracted to money hence why I don’t tell anyone, what is your point?

So sick of hearing your braindead crap”. I was expecting this to get her to shut up, it ended up provoking everyone at the table. Uncle/grandad found it funny but aunt got up and downright started screaming at me I was being disrespectful and to get out. Said she’s overeacting and then her daughters join in calling me a sexist, told them all to go fuck themselves and walked out.

Yeah what I said wasn’t particularly politically correct, but I absolutely swear that was an overreaction on their part. I was calm despite being irritated with their constant racism/remarks towards gf, I say one vaguely offensive thing and they blow up. AITA here?

For this post I’ll call my friend Julia. She passed away five years ago. She was my first and best friend growing up. Our families are close so we have been friends since we were babies.

There was no romantic feelings ever. Just a best friend/sister. She died from a car accident. Saddest moment in my life was hearing that news.

I have a lot of tattoos on both of my arms and back. I got her name tattooed with a heart around it and a date.

I’ve been dating my current girlfriend for the last two years and it’s great. I love her a lot. We really work as a couple.

She asked me why I have a “Julia” with a heart tattooed on me and I understand why that would be off-putting.

Like if she had “Steve” in a heart I would be curious as well. I told her about it and she thought it was sweet but over time I can tell whenever I take off my shirt and she sees that Julia tattoo it irks her.

I told her that she was just my friend but she is upset. She seems really put off by this and I don’t know how to explain.

Any time I tell her about how deep our friendship was she gets more upset. I want to mend this problem but it also has me worried about future relationships now.

Is this going to be a deal breaker in the future? Julia was my best friend and it was never romantic. She would make handcrafted necklaces and jewelry and I have one of them hanging from my mirror in my car and I don’t think that is weird.

My girlfriend is very understanding usually so her reacting this way is new to me. It’s making me wonder if doing this is a bad thing

My mother was never good with money, she’s in her late 50s and has yet to save a single penny.

She’s always had loans and other stupid economical decisions chasing her.

Since the day i moved out and got my own job she calls me regularly with a sob story why she needs my help and of course in the beginning i helped her, it wasn’t large sums and she always manages to pay up, not always on time but she does eventually.

But it gets on my nerves that im some kind of safety fund for her own mistakes, so I’ve started to say no more often than not. I can hear her tone switch completely when i say no and she begins to guilt trip me for it, telling me she won’t afford rent and other necessities. I tell her to ask for help elsewhere but she always brushes it off by saying she feels guilty asking them for it.

I’ve tried speaking to her and offering to manage her economy for her but as soon as i even mention her spending habits she gets angry and worked up. I feel like I cant get anywhere and it’s honestly draining my energy more than i feel like it deserves to.

I obviously wish my own mother the best, even if she doesn’t know how to look after her self but i just can’t take it anymore. By now i know immediately what she wants just by her voice when she calls me.

I work at a fairly large company in a good position (I have been working there for years). Recently my brother (21M) has decided he wants to quit his current job due to it’s mask mandate, and has applied for a position where I work.