The definition of a filial child.

Coming from a single parent family:

Three siblings are supporting mother ( housewife that rarely cook, no longer working not expecting any cpf retirement $, she has got some savings, housing fully paid )

What is the appropriate amount to be given by each kid ? Siblings mutually agree on 600-800 each that sums up to 1.8-2.4K monthly allowance for her, does this sound reasonable ?

Would like to know in general how much is everyone giving ? Because mother seems unsatisfied and believed that children should not fix an amount and put a cap on it (increases as your working experiences )

But all three siblings have a plan for their own future as well as retirement.

What could be the possible reasons that resulted to her desires/anxieties ? And any advice on how to deal with this as children tried to communicate many times but could not come to a good conclusion ?

We bought her gadgets/gold that she wanted, brought her to restaurants/holidays.

So is 2K very little to spend ?

Accidentally brought an expired credit and debit card to an extended international trip and I desperately need cash. What are my options?

I have a working credit card but it’s a largely cash society (Japan) and I just tried getting a cash advance on it with no luck.

I can put the correct debit card on Google Pay, and use it digitally, but I can’t use that at ATMs.

I don’t yet have a working phone so I was going to call the bank after I got a SIM card, but I am pretty sure they’re gonna tell me I’m SOL.

Is getting someone to mail me the correct card the best solution? Is there some other big adult way of getting cash?

I have a short term emergency solution, borrowing cash from a friend, but will need it on my own sooner rather than later.

Edit: Going to call my bank when I’m able to again and ask if they can priority ship me a replacement overseas, if that doesn’t work I’ll see about getting a family member to global express ship it to me, and if THAT doesn’t work I’ll see what I can do about cash advance on my credit card. Three contingencies!

Netizens’ comments

1. As someone else mentioned, Western Union. I had a working debit card & visited Pakistan where my card worked hardly anywhere. I just sent myself cash via Western Union & it worked great. The fee for sending $1480 was $8. When I did find a working ATM (at Standard Chartered), the withdrawal fees were actually much higher than Western Union.
2. When I was pickpocketed, my bank was willing to priority ship a replacement card so I can actually pay for stuff. I don’t think it was overnight but maybe a couple days?
3. Does your bank have a presence in Japan? Many larger ones have some international locations.
   Can you just send your friend money via some friends and family method so they can deposit it in their account and cash it out for you?

My (30M) friend (31M) slept with my (30F) fiancée to “prove she isn’t loyal”

A little background: my friend, let’s call him Dave, went to school with my fiancé, I’ll call her Lindsey. I met Lindsey at a dating event, and we were going to get married in November.

As I said, Dave went to school with Lindsey and had a couple mutual friends, and he told me that Lindsey was big into the party scene. I didn’t really have a problem with this.

About a month ago he messaged her on Instagram and for about 2 weeks he flirted with her and she brushed it off.

Then he asked to meet with her and she declined because she told him she was engaged to me, but kept talking to him and eventually she agreed to have drinks and hook up with him afterwards.

He told me he hooked up with her only to “show me she belongs to the streets” and he’s acting like he did it for me.

I have no idea what to do now. I was made aware of all of this last night. He was my best friend and I just don’t know what to do or think.

Netizen’s comments

And what proof does he have of this? If it really did happen, then he exposed himself too, and they’re both for the streets. Even if he’s lying, you should ditch him.

But seriously, I hope he has more proof than just “trust me bro”.

This is the last time I will be traveling on an economy flight, imagine you paid your fair share of the ticket but you did not get your fair share of the seats.

I was in a cheap economy class flight and I was in the middle, and said man was in the isle seat next to me.

I don’t know how much he weighed but roughly 120-140kg, and compared to me 75kg his ass took up about 5% of my seat, to the point where it was uncomfortable for me to sit there.

I sucked it up throughout the flight but I think it’s unfair that I paid for my seat and a guy was taking a portion of it, making my flight even less comfortable.

To let you guys imagine what it looks like here is an illustration

Here are what netizens think:

• Disagree. If you complain before takeoff they can relocate the obese person (or remove them from the flight if they need 2 seats but failed to buy an extra). 

• If the flight had a bunch of empty seats and you were just discreetly asking for a seat change, that’s fine. What is a flight attendant going to do to resolve this inconvenience, put him on a mid-flight diet and exercise program? You would be complaining about an unfixable problem to someone who isn’t responsible for it in the first place.

• Yeah I’m sorry but if you don’t want you personal space invaded on a plane you gotta pony up for a better ticket. Also complaining after the fact when nothing can be done is just a waste of everyone’s time

My husband blamed his cheating on me because of my underwear

We (f35, m36) have been married for a little under 2 months. Together for 4 years. I love (loved) him very much and I thought he loved me too. Beside the usual quarrel and disagreements about dull and mundane tasks we’re good. He never complained about anything. NEVER. Our intimacy was amazing and he told me so very often. He even texted me when we’re at work all kind of nsfw stuff that made me blush in my office.

Friday I had only one morning meeting. Me and my colleagues went for a lunch afterwards and then we decided to go home afterwards. We checked with our supervisor and she said it was fine. I found my husband with another woman in our bed. I started running away in shock and he couldn’t really leave the apartment before putting his clothes on. Enough time for me to take the elevator alone.

He’s been calling and texting me all weekend. I’m at my brother’s. My brother and my sister in law don’t know the details just that my husband was cheating. This morning my husband came knocking. He begged audience and asked my brother to let him speak to me. My brother asked me if I wanted him to kick my husband out but I told him that now I wasn’t in total shock anymore, maybe I should just hear him out. My brother, sil and my baby nephew left for a brunch.

My husband looked like he has been crying the whole weekend and wanted to hug me. I told him to stay on his side of the kitchen island and NOT to come nearer or I would scream.

He started first with a half apology and later explained why he was cheating on me. I never made effort for him. I’m always wearing comfortable underwear and never the naughty type. That’s a turn off for him. He felt like I didn’t really care. I was stunned and didn’t understand what he meant. Why didn’t you tell me this? Why not tried to buy lingerie like many men did to their wives? He said he didn’t want to “offend” me by suggesting that my underwear were dull, boring and a turn off. So it was basically my fault that you cheated? He didn’t say no. Just looked at me crying his eyes out.

I tried to remember what the girl was wearing. I couldn’t remember because my eyes went blurry the second I saw them.

He asked me what I wanted to do. That we could fix this. He asked me if I wanted to know more about the woman in my bed. She meant nothing. I interrupted him immediately and told him that I was good. Then to get him out I told him I needed time to think, even though I already made up my mind. I just didn’t want him to stay longer to try to talk and argue and cry more.

He has left now. I don’t know what to feel. I never knew underwear were this big of a deal in relationships? I love cotton. Neutral colors. Mostly CK basic. I have a very large chest and honestly any bra is just a pain having on a whole day always trying to adjust myself in the cups(girls with big chests will recognize my issue, dealing with all the unsolicited glaring from guys and even girls, when wearing underwear that shows the shape. Plus I don’t feel uglyin my very comfortable undies at all. Not once. I love my body. I work out 1,5-2h a day and I’m very confident in my own skin. And how could he say that he wasn’t satisfied with our intimacy when we’re intimate at least 4 times a weak? Was it all a lie when he said that I drove him crazy and how I could turn him on with one look at him? I will never understand men. He gave me a false sense of confidence.

And why did I catch them NOW. Couldn’t I do it just 2 months ago. Now I need to find lawyers and start a process that will take 2 years of my life. At least.

Should I refuse to take out a loan to pay for my brother’s wedding?

I know it sounds strange, and I don’t think I’m the A but I need other people’s opinions on this.

My spoiled, drop-out brother married his wife (same qualifications which is none) this year, they’re both 19. I’m 23 btw. Long story short is that my brother’s hag of a mother-in-law wants a grandkid as soon as possible so she manipulated them into getting married and my stupid mother went along with it.

My new sister in law is expecting now so I’m pretty sure my theory is correct. (No I don’t care that I’m being disrespectful.)

We’re not well off, not at all. My father who all of a sudden became a coward and didn’t talk my brother and mother out of it.

In order to pay for the wedding, my father has gotten a “loan” from my uncle, his brother, and he now wants the money back.

My parents sat me down a few days ago and they told me that they have no money to spare, too much in debt to get a loan from an actual bank and since my brother and sister in law are so young and expecting they can’t pay back my uncle either.

That leaves only me.

Apparently, because I don’t have debts, no baby is coming any time soon but since I have savings and a job, I owe it to my family to take out a loan and hand it to my uncle.

I didn’t say a word, just laughed in their faces and left. I’ve been receiving a bunch of texts and calls from my family to “save” them financially but I won’t.

I don’t know, either I live in a different reality or they do.

(No it’s not a “cultural” thing or anything.)

“Is it more economical to buy a car or spend on Grab rides everyday? I know owning a car is prestigious and all but the COE price is a real bummer”

Little costs add up

Let’s imagine you buy a car that costs 100k with 70k of COE, then it would cost you 46 sgd every day over the ten years without considering fuel, parking, car insurance, car maintenance, road tax meaning that you will reach easily 60 sgd per day. And this cost will be almost incompressible while you may not use grab every day or chose sometimes to take a mrt. A car is therefore not a cheapest option unless you have specific conditions such as a family.

Depends on how many Grab rides a day

It depends on how many Grab rides you take. If you take 4 Grab rides a day (1 to drop kids off at school, 1 to work, 1 to pick kids up, and 1 to home), 20 times a month, owning a second hand car makes more financial sense. This is because Grab rides at peak traffic times are quite pricey. I don’t even take Grab anymore because taxi is cheaper even with the booking fee.

Nothing to do with prestige at all. It is all about time and logistics if you have a family.

Looking at monthly travel expenses

For starters, if you think that buying a car is about prestige then you definitely don’t need to buy a car to take yourself from point A to point B.

Using Grab or taxi makes sense for mostly the following situations:

• Single or young couple
• Small family with 1 kid
• Living close to the city or really good locations

The last one is quite an interesting one because you pay more when you live near the city however you do save a lots of money and time in many ways. An European family I know have two daughters, both born here and they’re still happily living without a car because of their home location.

You need to look at your average monthly travel expense and if it is anywhere around S$850+ then you may look into a 2nd hand car (with 6-7 years COE left)

After doing some research I see no sense in owning a brand new car because first of all, COE now is crazy high and secondly – the moment you own a brand new car, its price in 2nd hand market depreciates by 12%-20%.

In short, please check your present expenses and see if it’s suitable for you to buy a car.

Some rich people don’t drive

Wait, owning a car is prestigious??

I know people who make mid-six figure salary a year who don’t drive. I know very senior professionals who, on principle, don’t drive because it’s bad for the environment – they take the train into work.

A car is a means of getting round. In SG, it might make sense in specific instances (e.g. you have to drive to and from different remote locations every day for your job). That’s it.

New or second hand car

It honestly depends on how much grab you take and how much you drive. And did you buy new or second hand? And what car did you buy?

My car costs approx 1450 a month, not including petrol. This includes depreciation, road tax, parking, insurance, and maintenance. Of course, if your NCD is high it can be lower, say 1350.

If I grab everyday 2 times on average, and maybe 3 times on the weekend, that’s 16 grab rides a week, or 64 rides a month. Let’s call it 60 for convenience.

Assuming you would have to drive that same distance, you would probably pump petrol 3-4 times a month (let’s call it 3.5 times) at around 80-100 a tank (depends on size etc.) I drive a diesel and quite a fuel efficient car, so your experience may vary.

Nowadays grab costs about 30 or more unless you are going v short dist. A grab from my home to workplace costs between 27-50 depending on the time I take it. At peak times it can hit 50 easily. Let’s call the average ride is 30 as an estimate.

So 60*30= 1800

For my situation, its close- 1450 plus petrol costs of $400 would be around the same 1800.

With cheaper hybrid and electric vehicles the equation might actually tilt more towards cars.