Older guys lying about their age on bumble

I guess we’re all familiar with people catfishing with super filtered pics that don’t even look like them… but has anyone experienced matching/meeting up with guys who have obviously lied about their age?

And by that I mean they state they’re younger – usually claim to be in their early-mid 30’s when they’re actually 40+ and the reason they do it is because they want to match with younger women (who they think are likely to set cut off age of 35 or smth).

I guess they’re more likely to get away with it as Asians generally look younger

Has anyone experienced this? I personally know a few friends who have and the thing is the men will admit to it because they think it’s totally not a big deal.

Just seems so bold when SG is small and we all probs have like 1-2 degrees of separation

Netizens’ comments

• Met a lady before who didn’t lie about her age but appearance. Sent me a pic taken 5 years ago.
  She was super slim in the pic but when I saw her in real, she was 3 times her size.
• Yup pretty common. Could be to conceal their identity as well- a friend dated a guy who claimed he was in his mid-30s, went on quite a few dates and even hooked up before finding out he was actually in his 40s, was married and had kids. She nope’d out of that situation quick.
• Yeah it’s pretty common. Have gotten messages from guys who admit that they’re way older than they claim and used an ancient photo after messaging for a while/ I asked for a video call.

Need advice here. My in-laws are unhygienic.

Their house is dirty & smelly (according to me & also ppl who came to view their flats when they put their flat on sale). There are always cockroach carcasses around.

Once I even found a cockroach egg in a soup that my mother-in-law cooked.

My mother-in-law used to have a bucket at the sink where she rinsed gravy off dirty dishes. She would use the same bucket to wash veggies until we told her to use a separate bucket.

Once I caught her using the bucket full of gravy & grease to rinse her hands which she wiped on a hand towel afterwards. I gasped in horror. She also uses the same towel to wipe the INSIDE of pots. I told hubby to tell her off but she always thinks I’m making a fuss. She’s a toilet cleaner & she’s illiterate & stubborn.

My hubby & I used to visit them twice a week (Tuesdays & Thursdays) & she’d cook for us. In the last 2 weeks, I had diarrhea after eating her cooking. The last straw came when I had diarrhea until 3.30am two nights ago. I told hubby I won’t eat at his parents’ place anymore.

Her unsanitary habits make my stomach turn, but her son relishes her cooking so much that he insists on going back on Tues & Thursdays to eat. His mother asked him, “Since you’re the only one coming over, do you still want me to cook?’

Hubby said he merely wanted to ‘’visit’’ them, not just to eat. Because he’s there to eat, his mother can’t order takeaway & has to cook. Hubby eats brown rice but his parents don’t. So his mother said, ‘’I’ll still cook brown rice for you’’. His parents always eat early anyway at 6pm when hubby is still at work, so it’s not like he joins them for dinner anyway.

I told him to eat at his parents’ place JUST ONCE A WEEK. (I’m sure many of you visit your parents once a week as well.) And JOIN ME for dinner on the other day, but he said ‘What difference would it make? I wanna eat at my parents’ place on both days.’’ My suggestion is REASONABLE but he refused to compromise.

So I’m left to have my own dinners on Tuesdays & Thursdays from now on. His parents’ house is 0.5hour drive from our house. So it won’t be a quick dinner

& a rush back.

Before you get all holier-than-thou & go ‘He’s just filial. What’s wrong with you, girl??!!’’

Ladies, just imagine your husband insisting on going back to his parents’ house every 2 days of the week & leaving you to have your own dinners, how would that make you feel? I don’t have any friends to ask out for dinner.

He’s a very inflexible and ‘no-feeling’ guy according to my mum & ME. He’s acting like I’m invisible & my opinion doesn’t count, so should I just ask a random person to have dinner with me for those 2 days from now on? *laughs slyly*

Hi guys I’ve been dating my boyfriend for about 3 months now. He’s still in ns and is taking home a very pathetic salary.

Ever since we started to date, he’d ask me if I could book him a grab home (He stays in the west, camp is in the east).

I don’t mind booking a grab for him to go home cos I know he’s very tired and if I was in his shoes, I’d want to reach home asap too.

However, this is taking a toll on me. I don’t work so all the money spent on him is my pocket money from my parents or my own savings.

Recently, my boyfriend has been asking me for more money (like $50 or $70) but they’re all very legitimate reasons so I’d love to help him out too (I can help him but then I’ll be left with very little for myself).

He’s quite a nice guy and pays for most things when we’re out (I’d say it’s a 3:7 ratio so 3 me, 7 him). He also pays for my grab when we go home/sends me home.

Is this a red flag?

Netizens’ comments

• Huh just stop taking grab home?? Don’t have money then don’t spend
• how can a guy live off a girl?? Plus he has allowances from NS. If he cannot manage his own finances then you shouldn’t need to be responsible for him
• Take bus can sleep on bus mah, longer journey home = longer sleep. Take cab not shiok la

Is a net worth of 120k too little for a 28-year-old guy?

Ever since I started working 3 years ago, I have been trying hard to save and grow my money.

I come from a below-average income family and my parents are not highly educated, so i did not have much financial knowledge until I started reading more in uni.

I recently calculated that my net worth is about 120k after subtracting my student loans from my assets. About 80% of my money is invested, though quite widely spread in unit trusts, local and US stocks, sg saving bonds, company and govt bonds, reits etc.

I have been fortunate not to lose money overall but I thought I could have done better as I only gained 10% overall over 3 years of investing, not counting dividends and despite me spending lots of time reading and monitoring the markets.

I am not a high earner in a top industry nor have the ability to climb the corporate ladder fast to earn more. I do want to settle down, buy a house and have kids in future. But with a decent BTO alone easily costing 4-7x of what I have, I can’t help feeling worried.

With the ever-rising property prices and cost of living, I don’t really know what more I can do financially.

Here are what netizens think:

• If you alone, not enough. If your partner earns and saves about the same, much better. It’s good that you are making plans for the future but don’t forget it’s possible to have less and still be happy as long as you don’t compare with others.

• I have a net worth of 1.9m at 36. It’s not much in todays high inflationary environment.

• If its pure cash then excellent. Continue to keep it growing. If it includes investments and assets, still very good, monitor them & keep it growing.

• Not sure if flexing or serious. You’ve done very well to get 120k at 28. Being up 10% while most portfolios are down is good. Without knowing your risk tolerance and plans, just keep doing what you’re doing. The path to financial freedom is slow consistent steps. If you take shortcuts it’s like snakes and ladders, easy to slide back to square one.

Is it my fault to fall sick after submitting my resignation? This led to alot of speculation by HR, that I started to play mc.

I wouldn’t have come to know without my colleagues telling me that they heard about this.

I genuinely fell sick with flu and I couldn’t even get out of bed for almost a week.

Feeling humiliated and very uncalled for action by the HR.

Is this considered work place harassment?

Netizens’ comments

1. You’re already serving your notice period. Your soon-to-be-ex-employer’s unprofessional HR department isn’t your problem anymore.
2. Your sick days are an ENTITLEMENT. They are not a privilege.
   If you have an official MC issued by a doctor, who the hell do your HR think they are to doubt the legitimacy of your illness? Did they go to medical school too?
3. Some people will talk behind your back and just live for gossip. If your HR is run by people like that, then all the more congratulations to you for getting out of that company.
4. Take more mc, may as well do what they accused you of.
   But seriously, there’s nothing you can do except maybe confront them or make snide comments/emails to them about how sick you really were if you wanna feel like you “did something” to make yourself feel better.
5. wow… so toxic… gg, u did the right thing, give yourself a pat on the back and a glass of wine to celebrate 😀

Singaporean & homeless

My friend is 50 this year. Was married and divorced.

Husband took the matrimonial home and returned her cpf portion only. She stayed with her sister’s family for few years until they had a misunderstanding.

She was homeless and a family friend gave her a room to stay. All was ok for few years when a friend’s hubby asked her outrightly to have a secret relationship (just S) as his wife does not satisfy him anymore. She said no but lately he enters her room on the pretext of chatting.

She is scared and locks herself in her room.

She purposely comes back late from work so she does not have to see him. She does not want to cause any problem to her friend who gave her a place to stay at a time in need. Now She has nowhere to go again. She earns only $1400 every month and now room rental is super high(she cannot afford it).

Her CPF+HLE is only 250k. There are no resale flats in that price range. She has asked HDB for help. They asked her to consider a rental flat but she needs a co-applicant (there is no one).

I don’t know how to help her. She is a Singaporean but can’t have her own housing.

Here are what netizens think:

• This one is really social problem, which will happen more in the coming years as our housing become a profit tool for the powerful. The only suggestion is to seek help from non profit organizations and see what they can do to help.

• Go to MP or apply rental flat under this scheme…Joint Singles Scheme Operator-Run (JSS-OR) Pilot. Eligibility conditions are the same as the JSS above. You can apply alone, and the JSS-OR Pilot operator will assign a flatmate to you.

• Needing to find a co-occupant is so dumb ugh why didn’t they just build smaller units.

• it’s strange that she is singaporean and getting this kind of pay. she knows what it means to impose on people and also knows what the husband is trying to do. So means she is not intellectually disabled.