Hello all reading this!!

I (17F) am completely in love with my male history teacher, I am currently taking History.

History has been my favorite subject for a long time but I have always had issues with being bored in my classes because I have spend so much of my own time research and immersing myself in History content that I already know the topic.

My current history teacher is freaking gorgeous, I mean drop dead model material, everything about him is perfect and I personally believe that having attractive teachers should not be allowed but then again my attendance in his class is 100% whilst my attendance in other classes is like 85-95%

I get A+ on all my assignments in History because I spend my whole time focusing on him.

I think im obsessed. I get so excited when he emails me back my work and gives me feedback, like super turned on when he comments feedback with “Good girl! amazing use of sources and great analysis however be careful not to over explain and go over the word limit.”

Something about his voice, eyes and the way he dresses makes me even more attracted to him. He dresses up for classes and is in general a fantastic teacher.

He has a kid and a fiancé, Of course I know there will never be anything between us, I so wish there could.

I will never act upon it, i have to put my big girl pants on and accept it

I (30m) have been with my partner (26f) for 5 years.

During this time I have been the sole income for the unit we rent together.

She has been between jobs and making less than $20 000 per year the entire time. She has held jobs for 6 months to a year but it has been essentially retail for the entirety of our relationship. I work full time and make almost $100 000 per year with all the overtime and nightshifts I do.

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I am single, early 30s, average-looking, well-mannered, and working as an IT professional. Studied Comp Sci about a decade ago because I thought it was interesting and had some aptitude for that discipline but unfortunately, now having doubts if I should continue working in the same sector.

I was (very unfortunately) the victim of a scam 2 years ago and it wiped out a significant portion of my savings. I tried to find a second source of income to recoup my loss but very unfortunately I failed to find something that works for me. E-commerce, writing E-books, affiliate marketing, options – I have tried them all but there is nothing substantial I have gained from them monetarily so far and I kind of regret spending money into attend courses (Dropshipping, writing E-books, affiliate marketing, options). And I ended up doing grab food deliveries on a adhoc basis, when I have some free time.

My savings just exceeded a limit of 4 digits this month and based on my (conservative) estimation/calculation it will probably take me 2.5 years to get to 50k, which may not still be sufficient to settle down my future spouse after 2.5 years time from now.

Recently, my father (very unfortunately) met an accident and will not be able to walk for at least 6 months. (And the implication of that will be that I have to fork out money to pay for more bills/items what will support his recovery and also taking care of him will mean lesser free time to do grabfood deliveries, which is my 2nd source of income)

I have been wanting to find a partner to settle down but I do find that because of my financial circumstances I should stay out of the dating scene for 2.5 years.

And yes, if I do that the 2.5 years of waiting out it will be kind of sad.

I found myself in a state of languishing for one year+ that came about working from home was implemented due to covid. I am in the process of moving out of that state. I have decided to set my focus on going for casual social events to just get to make more friends instead, trying to be contented with what I have. And also, spend some time to work on myself – work on my low self-esteem, learn to love myself and cultivate a growth mindset.

I understand wealth is beyond money and savings and I still have things I can share and bless other people with.

Sadly, I cannot deny that my measly savings is an issue and will affect my ability to settle down with another in the near future. (I understand that as a guy, I should have a substantial amount of savings for wedding and buying a flat/reno/furniture and give that bit more comfort/security to ‘her’)

So the question is … Should I continue waiting out of the dating scene for 2.5 years or should just go to dates now (or maybe half a year, after the condition of my father gets better)?

I feel like if I go on dates now, the other party is actually wasting ‘her’ time on me and I also noticed that (based on past experience) when I meet someone that is my type, I feel like she is too good for me – like they deserve to be with someone better, not with not me. Because of this, I don’t have much BGR experience. And I suppose being painfully aware of my financial situation, I feel like I am low SES no one would want to date.

But I would very much prefer to go on dates now.

Such is the tension between my heart and my head.

[This concern(s) have been bothering me for some time and I decided to pen down my thoughts/feelings here – to externalize them. I am not expecting much from this putting this post out here but will definitely appreciate constructive feedback/responses from the readers here (if you have them). Thank you.]

My husband and I have been married for 6 years.

He works in sales and I am a SAHM for our 1 and 3 year old.

We have always pooled our wages and assets (when I was previously working and including any extra bonuses / gift cards, we got during that time).

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Only Child – Curse or Blessing?

When people hear that you are an only child, they would immediately think WOW so lucky you must be spoiled. Being an only child has its pros and cons it all depends if you have a healthy family relationship, parents and you yourself.

Not all only child people are lucky to be spoiled by their parents. Some parents only wish to have a child for the sake of ensuring that someone will take care of them once they grow old (needs and finances).

For unlucky ones, being an only child means you bear the full drama and life frustrations/expectations of your difficult parent. You alone will have to bear all the emotional outbursts, unreasonable demands, violent fights, hypocritical views, double standards,slander and illogical conversations throughout your childhood.

Even as an adult, you cannot fully distance yourself since you now bear the sole responsibility of taking care of your living difficult/toxic parent. You have to bear their personal loans which you haven’t even agreed to. You fear getting a partner and in-laws as you know they somehow have to also bear dealing with your difficult/toxic parent and this will inevitably sabotage and ruin your marriage. You cannot even consider having a child as you have to prioritise the financial needs of your living parent. You have to push and force yourself to constantly call and check on them even if every meeting/ conversation will cause you great anxiety/heart pain.

You tell yourself, no choice as you have to do your part as their child and at the back of your mind you also don’t want to have any regrets when they are no longer here on this earth.

I envy other people on how their parents treat them, I on the other hand just functions as a cash cow.

I feel very drained, feeling is my purpose only to support my living difficult parent and I could only start living my own life once I am the only one left alive.

In my (20f) culture arranged marriages are very normal, 3 months ago.

I met a guy through my mother, and after the second meeting, my parents agreed to the marriage without even asking me first.

I got to know a girl from Thailand when she was working here as a restaurant manager 6 months ago. We got along really well and we soon became a couple. We spent weekends together, shop for groceries, spent our time at beaches. We did many things together just like any other loving couples do. She said I always make her smile and happy. She shared with me her family stories and sometimes would video call her sisters and asked me to say Hi to them. 2 months ago, her permit expired and she had to go back to her hometown. It was then that the communication between us got lesser. I asked if she has a boyfriend she said no.. just that her father wanted her to stay in her hometown and settle down. I told her I am ready to commit and marry her if she is ready. She then told me that she has discussed with her father about me and that her father is considering. She said given the opportunity, after she sort things out, she will bring me to visit her hometown and her father.

Last month i flew over to visit her to celebrate her birthday. I was expecting that things would be different as we have communicated lesser when she went back and I was prepared to draw the line clear to remain just as good friends if her attitude towards me was different and colder. But Apparently we were as sweet as before. We held hands , we kissed and it was all the same like when we were in Singapore. She was touched when I specially flew over to celebrate her birthday. The smile on her face was genuine. The night before I flew back to Singapore, we had a good talk, she again assured me that she didn’t have a boyfriend and told me to give her time to convince her father. I was quite glad when i heard that. We continued to have sweet messages from then.

2 weeks ago, I got to know from one of her friends that she was getting married in October to a guy in her hometown whom she was with for about a year before she came Singapore. I was shocked and felt heart broken. I hinted to her that I knew she has something that she was hiding from me and wished that she could tell me the truth. I would listen and decide what I needed to do. She did not.

The last conversation through text that I told her was I knew everything and I am truly disappointed and heart broken. If she had told me from the start that she has a boyfriend and planning to get married, i would not have stepped into the relationship. She kept silence from there on.

Honestly, if she could call and talk to me for one last time why she kept the truth from me, i would have accepted it. But keeping silence till now sicken me. A girl whom I knew for her love and kindness has turned into a total stranger who does not care about my feeling.

There was a moment out of anger when I wanted to expose her wrong doings to her boyfriend or likely a husband now. I wanted to tell him, this girl cheated on both of us. I know if i were to ask our common friend, i would be able to link up with that guy. However, I just could not bring myself to do it cos I did not want to destroy her. For that matter, the other guy is innocent. I just have to bare the pain myself. The feeling sucks!

I know many would say, just let it go.. I know its what i need to do. I need time.

Honestly, what would you have done?

A netizen recently posted on Facebook which attracted the attention of a lot of netizens who faced similar workplace issues.

Here is the story:

Female Managers with Issues

I’m a female myself and I find working with female managers so difficult. When you’re working as a certain occupation, the chances of working under a female manager is high.

Real-life experiences of female managers with issues:

1. In her 60s, single, will call you into her office just to nag/tell stories while you’re standing beside her for 1 HOUR (btw she’s sitting down comfortably).

2. In her 40s, single, talking one big round for 1 HOUR just to hear you apologise before finally calming down.

3. In her 30s, married with no kids, nitpicking on every single piece of work submitted (such as font type, font size, alignment, comma, full stop), providing ‘feedback’ about you to your current supervisor on ridiculous stuff.

Work is already difficult enough. Can these type of people just calm the f down.

Here are what netizens think:

• My ex lady boss is in her 40s, married and is very supportive, understanding, doesn’t micro manage. Her expectations are high, but she’s gives the team space.

• They are single for a reason lol. If u want to continue to survive u have to find some ways to gel with them. Once u find the right chemistry, is easy to definitely work w them in a long run. I used to work closely w some single old lady before, and somehow I pity those working under her due to her work antics lol. Fortunately is not my direct superior, but other than work, technically she is nice person

• When I was a junior auditor, one particular female senior auditor who’s in her 20s was already behaving your mentioned crazy/siao/hypercritical/authoritative/they are better than you/non-compassionate way. My male colleagues and I ran the fuck away from her metaphorically. Not about the age, it’s the person.

Are Singaporeans generally uncomfortable to do things alone?

I don’t have anything to back my findings aside from mere observations and experience, but it feels like doing things alone for some Singaporeans feels like a massive struggle.

I know and experience the whole ‘secondary school or friends clique must always do things together’ but when the time comes where nobody is free, and you gotta do it alone, it can be a fight or flight response because you probably never done it. (Not me per se, but I’ve seen it from other friends or groups)

Take traveling, dining out, going to a concert alone for example. Hell, watching movies too. But in other countries, people do whatever tf they want. If you go to festivals and concerts overseas, as a single person, you’ll find that a lot of people go to these events on their own. No friends, family, nothing. They enjoy it anyhow.

Partially I think some of these Singaporeans are scared of being judged by others for doing things alone. Newsflash, nobody really cares. Just do it anyway.

I think being able to enjoy things on your own is a sign of independence and maturity. Your friends won’t always be free, but you can still do your own activity. Same for people in relationships.

Is it something ingrained to Singaporeans as a groupthink mentality?