Is it too much to ask for if I requested my future partner to have same earning as me?

I’m a 28 y/o full time working adult. Working since 21, did my part time degree in between. Currently earning 3.8-4K per month.

I ended my first relationship due to my partner was lack of financial managing ability. He spurs every single cent he earn. And he don’t believe in saving for rainy day. He don’t believe in education as well, and he thinks that degree is just a piece of paper. He’s earning 1.6k when we’re still in relationship. He’s very stubborn, he thinks that 1.6k is enough to start a family, so I decide to cut him off from my life for good.

Met 2nd guy, went out for couple of dates. He’s quite decent, but he’s quite reluctant to pursue further studies as well. He’s 34 this year already, but his job title is some assistant sort of, and he’s earning 2.6k per month. He only start work at age of 28 and sky knows what he did before that age. Btw, he’s just a diploma holder. He cut me off once I mention about how his low income might affect our future relationship.

Reason, why I take education so seriously, is because, society only recognise certification nowadays. And further studies is to keep yourself competitive and relevant in the industry. And qualifications is directly linked to your remuneration and promotions.

The fundamental of building a family is money. And to have better income, education is the fastest way to do it. That’s how I see it.

Is it too much to ask your partner to match your income? Or ask them to further study for a better job and income?

Here are what netizens think:

• If earning in a certain income range is your thing, then it’s your thing. But don’t date a guy in a lower income range then demand he gets a better job or further his studies. He’s simply not compatible with your requirements. Find someone who is.

• Money is very important in a marriage especially after having kids. Love alone cannot sustain. You’re very far sighted and that is a good thing. Your expectation of finding someone with similar income range as you is not unreasonable. But maybe forcing someone to go further studies may be a little too much. When you find the right one you wont have such problem. All the best.

• Does he spend within his means? Thats crucial. Is he willing to spend time and upgrade himself to be marketable and earn decent enough to start a family and kids with quality life? Thats crucial too.

• I think the same as you, I am your age and earn twice your salary. We are not a good fit.

My company recently has a layoff.

There was a guy, called A, he did solid jobs, got top performance review in past years, but surprisingly be among the few in the team that were shown the door.

Furious and confused, A questioned the senior manager and was told that it’s because he caused a bug in a recent event. Funny things is the bug was actually caused by his teammate. A was active in the team group chat trying to help fix the bug. The manager, who is new to the team, not knowing any context, thought that it was A that caused the bug due to his activeness, and aced him.

The decision is made and cannot be revoked. So our team is down a top performer, while a mediocre guy and a clumsy manager stay.

I cannot name the company, but I can name the department. It’s Search.

Here is what netizens think:

• “A” players will always get other “A” and “A+” players. “C” players will always get “C-“ and “D” (even “F”) players. Your colleagues sounds like a leader (team work and helping team to grow, and doing the right things), while that boss is a manager (doing things right). In such environments, there will be an inflection point. Strong early and leading indicators are where the “A” and other top performers leave (via resignation, layoff or terminated)

• The new manager has inferiority complex. He worried the new guy will take his job one day. He is finding excuses to kick him out. It is common to find such manager in an organisation.

• You should congratulate A. He will probably get a better job with higher pay very soon.

• You wanna know why? Because top performer are usually paid higher, therefore more expensive for the company to retain. It’s all about business these days.

Is this considered cheating? Plz help

So here’s my story:

In 2021 I get to know this guy, A. We met and things get quite hot after the first date. I decided to ask if we can be exclusive and he said yes.

After 2 months has passed I decided to ask for a proper status but sadly he said he doesn’t want it and just want us to continue being F-buddies.

Since he doesn’t want to make us official, is it wrong that I went on other dates? Is it wrong that I wanted a committed relationship with someone?

Eventually we ended this “FWB” and I found B who is willing to try to have a proper RS with me. But after a few weeks he came back to me and told me that he wants us to be official and that he loves me.

But I was very skeptical about his intentions. So when I was seeing B,I was seeing A too. I know I still had feelings for A but I know the right choice was B. But I just couldn’t let A go due to the time we spend together.

After deciding for quite a while I decided to get back back with A, because B was actually a playboy whom secretly seeing others.

So is it considered cheating, when A came back and I was sleeping with B?

Is it really that odd to not want to date, get married, or have kids?

I’ve been a materialist and a pragmatist my whole life. It worked well for me because I did my undergrad (CS and math) and masters at Carnegie Mellon University and until the end of last year, I worked at a pretty large quantitative hedge fund in New York. I’m 30 this year and I made $500K all in last year. My dad got into some heart trouble in January. I quit my job and I came home a week after I heard the news. He’s fine. I now work for a local startup, making a modest salary. But I get time to spend with my parents.

It got me thinking. I have never ever, not even once, thought about having a partner. It just never crossed my mind. I am attracted to women all the time, I’ve just always had such a high level of self-control in my life that it takes very little to no effort for me to say no to things that I can’t see the benefit of. I don’t see any tangible benefits to me of having a family. I’ve had conversations to people about how having a partner and kids will bring me happiness, but I’ve never felt unhappy single.

I love my work. I love making progress by working hard. Some days I don’t even leave the office until 2-3 in the morning and it makes me feel an immense sense of achievement that I got a lot done in any particular day. I love going to movies alone. I love spending 2-3 hours in the kitchen cooking. I especially love cleaning up afterwards. I really love washing dishes. Like it’s odd even to me how much I love washing dishes by hand. I love the sound of nothing. I’m always in a good mood whenever my apartment is completely devoid of any sound. I had special windows installed just to make my apartment as quiet as possible.

I’m also an only child. My dad sold his small business for $10M 20 years ago and he put the entire amount into 3 houses that are now worth $30M minimum. These houses are now in my name. I don’t even have to work anymore I just love to work. I’m thinking of starting my own business.

I don’t reject the idea of marriage and family. I just want an argument so compelling that it would make no sense for me to stay single. I love Singapore and I thought about just getting married to have kids to add to the population. But in the end I concluded that there are more ways than one to help this country than to have kids I don’t want and completely screw up their childhood. Most of the people around me have used the argument “if everyone thought like me humanity would go extinct.” If everyone thought like me and I alone didn’t think like me, humanity will go extinct anyway. It’s not like one person is gonna make a dent in the global population trajectory, and I don’t have the influence to affect what other people decide to do.

Any helpful people out there who want to try convincing me having a family is strictly better than being single? Pragmatic answers only please. I’m an agnostic and if it isn’t enshrined in law, tradition and culture mean nothing to me.

I doubt I’ll have sympathy for this but I just need to rant.

I’m someone who is blessed with a really good memory. How good? I can remember things from long ago fairly well.

A group mate made an error in a report, half a year later they made the same mistake again. My mother uses me as a storage directory.

It’s a constant struggle to remind myself not to get upset when people don’t remember what happened last week let alone last year because it’s unreasonable to expect them to do so. Or information that was written on one page of a report, on a foot note.

Then I have to feign forgetting something once in a while otherwise my classmates get intimidated by my memory and label me abnormal.

A good memory is good thing to have… but I appreciate any words of wisdom anyone can provide with this feeling of frustration I encounter.

It’s unreasonable for me to expect it of others to have the same level of memory I have but I cannot help these emotion.

I just graduated a year ago but I honestly feel like an old person. Ever since I started working full time, I gradually stopped feeling any joy in life.

The daily repeated routine of waking up, going to work, coming home to sleep feels like a chore. In fact, I wake up everyday feeling exhausted regardless of how late or early I slept the previous night.

At first, I used to look forward to the weekends as I can spend time with my friends and loved ones. Now, even this feel like a weekly burden. I feel tired being around people.

And so I decided that perhaps I just needed some “me” time and rest during the weekends. I stopped making plans to go out with others.

Instead, I started to sleep till noon and read books or play games the rest of the day. Initially this arrangement felt like a good change but I started feeling bored after a while.

Now I honestly feel happiest and most at peace when I’m asleep. Sometimes I really wish I can just bury myself under a warm and fluffy blanket, fall into deep sleep and never wake up again.

And no, don’t worry I have no thoughts of doing anything rash. I’m terrified of heights and knives plus I still want to be a filial child and support my parents till old.

I just wanted to rant and organise my thoughts a little. Thanks for hearing me out.