Should I tell him about my past?

I have a high body count(50+) and he doesn’t know about it. We are both in our 20s and I have fallen deeply and irrevocably in love with him.

We met during our first year of university together and I was infatuated with him from the moment I saw him.

The simplest things he did garnered my interest – the way he carried himself with such purpose, or even the way he messes with his hair. He would always be the one answering questions in lectures, with no hesitation or fear of being wrong (which was rare). It was hard not to be attracted to someone with such presence and intelligence.

I crushed on him hard, but at that time he was still in a relationship. I never pursued him because of this (also partially because of how much of a mess I was), but running into him in U town always made my day that much brighter.

Fast forward to the start of our second year and he is no longer in a relationship. I was so timid and introverted I didn’t spot the little things he would do to try and get my attention. Even when he insisted I always work with his group I just assumed it was just out of kindness, rather than anything else.

A few weeks later he invited me out for dinner. I was petrified! Why would someone so amazing want to spend time with me? I mustered all the courage I could and went over to his flat. When he opened the door he looked incredible. He was wearing a beautiful sparkling silver jacket which he’d paired with some suave jeans. It was a look that very much suited his personality that not many people could pull off.

Long story short: we shared a few drinks and talked for what seemed to be a short time. We laughed and joked about the most random of topics. I have no idea exactly what was said that night, but I was enjoying it so much that I never wanted it to end. The next thing we knew it was 6am in his room in what felt like the blink of an eye. He had things to do the next day, so we parted ways. But not before he playfully kissed me and extended an invite for a second date. That was the moment I knew I wanted to be with him. I spent the entirety of my late night walk home grinning like a tool, feeling like I’d won the lottery.

One thing led to another during the next date and I started to initiate physicality. He stopped me and told he was a V and wanted to wait until we were married. I was so crushed as he said love is sacred and he was saving himself for me after marriage.

We moved in together a few months ago and the rest is history. Each passing day we continue to build upon our love. Our love wasn’t instantaneous: it was something we made together and will continue to make into the future.

He has made me a better person – far better than I could have hoped to be without him. I love him tremendously and have nearly forgotten what life was like without him.

He’s definitely one of the best things to ever happen to me.

We always look back to our how we would met earlier in our school days – we were both ACS boys and our paths may have crossed without us knowning.

Unfortunately, I do not know how to break the truth to him. It will crush him and one day if it comes out I fear he will leave me.

Please share with me what I should do.

I hate my best friend but I’m going to be her bridesmaid

I met my best friend 10 years ago when we were 16. I didn’t like her at first but she saw me laughing and decided she was going to be my friend and so she would constantly make conversation until I couldn’t ignore her and we became best friends.

We were both outsiders with us moving from different schools at around the same time so we never had other friends but each other in our final years of school. As we have grown up we kept our friendship and remained just as close.

About 4 years ago I met this boy named Jacob. He was my first boyfriend. I’ve never been pretty so he was the first guy to show me attention outside of hook ups.

He took me on my first proper date, we started to plan moving in together and discussing out future I was truly happy.

But then after a year he said words that made my stomach drop. He asked me if I would mind he he could start dating my best friend.

I can tell you the exact details of that day. I had just finished work, I had a really good day because my favourite dog had come in and I was on my way back.

My phone rang in the car and Jacob said he wanted to talk. He told me he had been talking to my best friend for a while and that he fell in love with her and wanted to know if it was ok to start dating her. She also felt the same way about him but said he had to get my permission before they took things further out of respect.

Sophie (my best friend) has always been the pretty one which has never been an issue. Ofc she is beautiful I tell her that all the time.

So in my head it made perfect logical sense. I just said it was fine. I packed Jacobs things up out of my house and handed them to him with a smile and congratulated them.

It wasn’t until the next day I even cried or got angry. But ever since the resentment has been building. It isn’t like a “I hate her” kind of resentment. I’m still her friend but it’s like I can’t be with her for longer than a few hours or everything she does starts to annoy me.

Why does she look at her phone so much? Why does she expect me to buy her so much? Why is everything she says only about her? Why does she talk over everyone? You know? Just those tiny things you used to ignore become unbearable so I have to make an excuse and go.

Well now 3 years after the break up they are getting married. And she wants me to be head bridesmaid. I don’t want to say yes.

The thought makes me feel sick. I hate my best friend so much I don’t want to be a part of her wedding but I know I will say yes. Because if I say no it will make her unhappy and I’d become the bad guy.

So I’ll be the head bridesmaid whose one and only boyfriend left her for the bride. And I’ll smile and act happy. Maybe the universe will have mercy and have a truck run me over on the way to the rehearsal dinner or something

Last night my wife attacked me. No argument lead up to it.

She asked for the phone charger and I asked what percentage she was on then she slapped me, tried to jump on top of me (I was laying down on the bed).

Then she scratched me, tried to elbow me, and when I tried to grab her hand so she would stop hitting me she tried to bite a chunk out of my forearm. It’s like I was fighting an animal.

If you looked at her you would never believe this happened. She is a small, petite woman.

I made a emergency meeting with our therapist (we’ve been seeing one ever since I got out of the army) and she admitted to everything. I could tell my therapist didn’t really believe me until she just admitted to it.

I’m confused and staying with my mom right now. I was happily married once and I’m just feeling lost right now.

Netizens’ comments

• It’s good that you are safe, and seeing a therapist, though this one isn’t the right one for you.
  You know you have to divorce her, for your safety and your mental healths sake. Once she is out of your life you can start to heal.
  But be aware, she’s not going to make it easy to get her out of your life. She will do everything in her power to lure you back. Domestic violence is an addiction and you are her drug. She will lie. She will charm. She will love bomb you. She will threaten. At times you will wonder if your memory is right. At times you will think you see truth in her eyes when she says she’ll never do it again and she sees the error of her ways. She will be the best girlfriend you could ever want… for just long enough she is sure that you’ve given up on leaving. And then she’ll be back to beating you.
  Which is why you can’t give her the opportunity to talk it out. Tell her you are done and nothing will change your mind and after that have her talk to your lawyer.
• Get out. Violence escalates- someone that loves you wants neverending kisses and cuddles and she aint it
• It’s tempting to speculate why but the only thing that matters is you being okay. If you aren’t safe at home, keep away. You don’t deserve to be attacked, you aren’t supposed to put up with it because she’s a woman or small. You should be safe at home. Protect yourself. Take care xx

21yo F who needs some advice~ made a bad decision enrolling into a course i had zero interest in during polytechnic and that’s when everything started going downhill for me.

had to take an extra year because i messed up my studies~

because of this, i decided i didn’t want to get my degree as i was afraid of throwing my family’s money away if i were to fail.

anyway, after i attained my diploma cert, i decided to work and thats when i realised how difficult life is without having a degree cert.

i started feeling really anxious and stressed about not being able to land a well paid job and everything in life felt extremely meaningless. then came my gambling addiction.

at the start, everything was good. i gambled online for the mere purpose of feeling the adrenaline my life was lacking.

on top of that, i was winning decent amount every week and this kind of pushed away all my problems, especially my money problems i was facing in life.

that’s when i foolishly thought that i could make this my actual job and felt like i finally had a purpose in life (its okay, yall can laugh at me and call me ignorant, i 100% agree).

i eventually quit my job and just gambled everyday like a degenerate i was lol.

just when i thought things were finally going my way, before i know it, i was starting to chase my losses. gambling suddenly became a means for me to earn money and i was no longer placing bets for the adrenaline or fun.

in a matter of 2 months, i had lost 20k and even had to sell my stocks and crypto at a loss just to fill that hole i had burnt into my savings account.

this 20k was was a combination of small losses that occured before and 10k in an hour that i threw 3 weeks ago. eventually i had dug a grave so deep that even guan yin ma refuse to help me.

i struggled to battle the demon inside of me who was constantly telling me that i could win back what i lost and even more.

it was only when i was down to my last cents that i realised how badly i messed up and needed help. i sought help from a therapist but it didnt work and ultimately i decided that only i am able to help myself.

i have self excluded from online gambling and have not gambled for 9 days now.

you know what’s the strangest thing is? its the fact that i couldnt even bear to spend a few dollars buying myself something nice but i could be throwing a few thousands of dollars away at the casino.

money became immaterial to me when i was gambling but when i wasnt, it felt like it was everything. and despite having more than i needed, it always felt like i didnt have enough and just needed to have more.

2 months back, i decided to go back to school and take a degree in banking and finance. i told myself to stop gambling while i was still up overall from gambling, but clearly i was sick in the head for not being able to control myself.

now that im in school, the thought of my losses makes me struggle to focus in class. i really regret this path i have chosen and i would never wish this addiction on my worst enemy.

right now, im back at square one. still stressing about money and how long it would take before i could earn back what i lost. ive been losing my appetite and breaking out all over my face thinking about money.

i wish i could just be like every other people my age who have their shit together because i clearly dont. i want to make it in life, i really do.

i dont want to be 40 years old still trying to climb the corporate ladder, working a 9-5 job that pays you peanuts. i want to be able to save up enough to travel the world before i die because if not that, then what’s your purpose in life right?

we’re all enslaved to this system where its just study> work> pay bills > die. those who are smart will be able to get out of this cycle and those who dont… well they’ll just be depressed for the remaining of their days.

hence, my purpose of this post is to ask you guys for advice. how do i stop thinking so much about money when im only 21??

i feel like at this age i shouldnt even have to be thinking so much about my finances. my stance on money being important is going to ruin me zz i mean it already did thanks to my gambling addiction but i can still recover from that if somebody manages to give some life changing advice to me now (“: