Life as a newbie engineer is really daunting ever since my intern days. I was so busy that I don’t even have time to go toilet often or even to drink up water. Think this is typical kind of Asia work culture. I am just glad that my pay isn’t too bad that in the event if I fall sick, I can take a break until I am well again.

Typical schedule daily:

Morning before lunch- Do up research and meetings on what to do later in the day, meetings are usually expected to end in an hour but with Q&A and discussion, it may drag to almost 2 hours. I just has to endure thirst to prevent needing to go toilet often.

Lunchtime is usually an hour or 1.5 hours, boss don’t really micro manage so quite chill.

After lunch is where we need to submit reports and proposal, and go elsewhere to meet clients and hold meetings with them to discuss proposal, I remembered having to hold in my bladder for almost 2 hours until my pee start dripping in my underwear. This is why from then on I hardly drink water at work.

I am just glad that I always end work on time, with a not too political environment to work in and that’s all. Pay isn’t bad which was why I stayed on.

Ok first of all, let’s normalise calling them insurance agents lol.

I have been seeing an increasing number of acquaintances join the industry and was just wondering as I stalked browsed through their IG profiles – why does everyone seem to be able to “make it” into the MDRT? It almost feels as though the bar is as low as floor.

Tan Xiao Ming who was a weirdo back in secondary school? He made it to the MDRT and just bought a rolex watch.

Lee Xiao Li who couldn’t even conduct a proper speech in class? She made it to the MDRT and now drives a BMW.

Ah right, both Xiao Ming and Xiao Li whom I haven’t spoken to in a trillion years are in my DMs because “let’s catch up!! I’ve missed our times together”. #okcan

Anyway, out of curiosity, my questions are: what exactly is the criteria to qualify for MDRT? Is it something really that prestigious?

Netizens’ comments

• You don’t have to be “smart” or “rich” to make it into the MDRT or buy any those luxury items. Many FAs just follow a tried and true play book of pretending to well off maintain an illusion to attract others to join their following or buy products from them.
• my friend just started as a trainee FA (i know… good luck to me) and he told me that in one of their lessons, they were teaching the trainees how to “improve their social appearance” to get more clients. He said they basically force the trainees to buy and start posting branded stuff on their socials to “attract followers” if not they will be kicked from the course. and if they were naturally good looking/ hot asf, then they should flaunt it to achieve as many real followers as possible. Also, the requirements can be as low as just a ‘O’ levels pass “as long as they have a good persona and can talk to people”.
• On my very first day of work (recent graduate, literally my first job), my FA friend decided to message me “hi are you ready for the insurance talk HAHAHAHA”.
  I was so annoyed I sent him a whole essay. (Feel free to copy and paste with mild editing to send to your FA friend who decides to pester you)

“im not and i think we need to set some expectations here ah hahah
i really dont feel comfortable that i have to keep watching what i say or talking abt work w u cos i dont want to see you as someone that’s just doing business with me/basing our quality of friendship over transactions
plus, i would like to be able to comfortably approach you on my own accord if i ever need financial advice or insurance plans instead of you constantly waiting for me to go to you
as straightforward as this is to u, i really truly want to keep u as a dear friend and that’s it
i can’t do this when i feel like you only wna talk to me when you want something from me. I’m only asking that you respect my boundaries too
This is a line I realised I need to draw and not delay my intentions to not buy insurance from you at the moment. I really hope you understand <insert name>, im not tryna downplay what your hustle is cos i really respect it. cheers man
EDIT: Sorry I didn’t add that he has been bugging me every month asking me when was my starting day, “reminding” me every month to remember to look for him if i need insurance, and that “he wants the best for me”. All these despite me telling him each time that I will only come to him if I really want it
It all just sounds super fake and pretentious.

• I’ll question if it’s worth keeping a ‘friend’ like this/ if I want someone who doesn’t listen to be in charge of my insurance. He sounds like he would recommend plans based on his commission instead of your needs.

I can’t afford my BTO

So I just got my HDB loan approved, but they only allowed me to loan up to a max of $180k. Our current gross income is about $5k at the moment, so is that normal?

How can I increase the loan amount? We just want a basic $400k house, but it seems like even with the loan I’ll have to pay $100k just to be able to afford it.

How do people even afford the $700k properties sia, don’t you still have to vomit out an additional $200k even with the loan?

No I have not even gotten a queue number yet. This is my first time applying and I haven’t committed to my application yet, yes I’m a student.

Yes I did try all the HDB calculators. Our income will be fluctuating over the next few years, which is why I am asking. I’m just curious how people even afford a $700k house especially as a first time applicant

Netizens’ comments

With a $5k gross income, HDB should be able to loan you around $220k with a $40k EHG and no self topup. Even without EHG, the wait time means you have 4-5 years to save up for the down payment (for $40k, that’s less than $1k a month in a bank account that doesn’t get interest). If you stashed $40k and EHG $40k, it’s even better, you can literally get your $400k basic HDB.

I don’t want to sound harsh, but it seems that you BTO without planning your finances first. HDB has all these online calculators for you to play, before you submit your application and HDB is transparent about price ranges when you apply for BTO ballot. HDB didn’t pull a fast one, you had all the info at the first step.

Your choices are: withdraw from the BTO, get a smaller/less desirable flat (low floor, 3-room) or appeal to MP (most likely MP tell you get 3-room flat).

As to how people can afford $700k flats? The median Singaporean household income is like $9k a month and people do save up for downpayment before buying a flat, resale or not. $9k a month gross allows you to loan $595,100 and with a downpayment of $100k (save $1.6k a month for 5 years?) on a HDB loan, it’s possible to get than $700k home.

i need advice from being scammed by a private piano teacher.

long story short, in his “terms n conditions” it is needed to notify him 1 month in advance if i dont want to continue piano lesson(but lessons still continue until the end of the month), which i did pay and i told him on the first week of the month that i disliked the way of his teaching and wanted to quit by the end of the month

After paying for the lesson for the whole month(4 lessons) .i he blocked my phone number. and have no way of contacting him.

however, i do have his address and wish to get a refund(worth 3 lessons- abt $180)

should i report this to the police, if so how to do it in the best possible manner or try to confront him in hopes to get my refund back?

Netizens’ comments

• Let the police confront him. Don’t go find him yourself.
• If you know where he stays, you could slip a note under his door/letterbox asking for a refund of the balance otherwise you’d go to the police.
• Did you pay in cash? Or bank transfer? Any receipt? Or record in conversations? These will help if it comes to a “he says she says” situation.
  • (OP) yes i have the bank transfer reciept, i also have the msgs he sent( but nt sure if its useful, since he didnt reply and blocked me)
• Write a note firstly politely thanking him for his role as a teacher, even if you don’t like him he did after all teach you, so for the sake of formality thank him, and politely affirm the reasons why you wish to quit. And inform him he has obligations as a service provider to complete his duties after receiving payment. Since he has blocked you, you don’t think it’s a good idea to continue lessons. Therefore you would like a refund of (amount) within 30 days. If he has any issues with anything, he should reach out to you regarding this. Since currently you have no proper way of contacting him, if you don’t get your refund or a response by then, you’ll pass the matter on to the authorities.
  Slide the note under his door, and in his letterbox. Take an unedited close up footage of the note and you/someone doing this. If you have his email or social media, message him through these channels too. Use a different number to message him.
  If he gets back saying he will complete the remaining lessons, let him know that while you preferred to complete all lessons previously, after this whole blocking incident you’re not convinced that the remaining lessons will be productive, and you’ll only continue if he can guarantee that he’ll teach properly. If he can’t, issue said refund.
  After 30 days, if there’s no respond from him, report. When you make your report, tell the officer that you have given him 30 days to respond, given him the opportunity to reach out to you, and you have tried your best to reach out to him via (methods you use), show evidences that you have tried contacting him. You’ll have a strong case.

For those of you above 40+ in age, but only earning 4-figure income: Do you feel like a failure?

Been reading the Govt’s new $30k+ montly salary visa. Heard a from a lot of people that they already earn that amount in middle management.

I thought I was in middle-management, but I’m earning less than $10k a month. Also in my late 40s, so career change is more and more difficult.

Now feeling like I failed my family. Anyone else here in the same boat?

Netizens’ comments

1. Please loh… a lot of people over the age of 40 earning 4 figure incomes.
2. Mom is 58 this year working as. Draftswomen, earns about 5k and stuck there. She raised all 3 daughters as a single mom and we went from sleeping on sofas and floors to a tiny 4rm flat now . Yes I’ve starved before when we were very poor , but I have never felt my mum was a failure.
   As long as you know you’re working hard and providing well for your family then you’re not a failure.
3. Are you a decent person who’s doing your very best to provide for and look after your family? Are you spending enough time and giving them the attention they need? If so, then you are not a failure.
4. I think $8-10K in your 40s with comfortable work-life balance is respectable and desirable.
   Those who are earning that much in their 20s or early 30s tend to be either 1) highly sought after tech whizzes, so no chance if you’re not that type, or 2) hustling hard in high stress positions and have lousy work-life balance, hoping to retire or at least take a step back at age 45 or even earlier.
   More important is that you live within your means and you have enough savings/investments to not need to take money from your kids when you are old.

My marriage is a lie and I fell for my colleague

I’m a dentist by profession, met my hubby during school days and gotten married early due to peer pressure from family since we have been together 4ever.

It’s been almost 5years and he seems to have a lack of interest in me and we started to move towards a platonic relationship committing more for our families than ourselves.

I feel like a vase that he is proud to own like a possession and show to his friends and family how successful he is to have bagged/ tamed me. I pay for my share of everything and even paid for most of his family expenses (his dad’s medical, his mom’s household, etc).

Our lives seems to be based on a lie.

Then sometime last year I joined a new company and started hanging out more with my fellow colleague who is also married. We are both working till late and he acted very gentlemanly, sending me home, buying lunch and even took care of me when I’m not feeling well at work. I started to developed feelings for him but knowing we are both married, I can only desire for him and crave for his warmth and attention afar.

One evening when we are pouring our hearts out about our problems he took up the courage to kiss me and I took the leap of faith in starting a relationship with him knowing it is very very wrong.

He is married to a beautiful wife and three beautiful children. I love him so much and I don’t want to break up with him or break his family apart. His wife found out of our meetings and now want to divorce him suing for millions.

What has become of me?!?!?! I’m so confused as I can’t loose him and yet I can’t let my family know about this either.

My hubby made a big mistake in investment, due to WFH his friend introduced him to forex copy trade and he started investing 3000 USD.

After few months he wanted to try on his own so he invested 1000 USD, everything was lost and he invested 500 USD few times and all lost and he asked me to give 10K USD so that he can make profit, so I gave him and it was also lost.

After which he borrowed 36k SGD from the bank and invested, this time I was unaware that he’d borrowed money from the bank, somehow I found out by myself so I warned him to stop this but he believed he will make profit but due to market fluctuations his borrowed money was about to finish in forex so to save the loss he needs to top up.

We had our daughters saving saved for more than 10 years in her child account and that was linked to his account, he promised he won’t touch this account but he had no choice as he needs to save his money in forex he took 82K SGD from our savings and topped up his forex without my knowledge.

Within one month all the money in his forex is lost. And now we have zero in savings.

I am lost as I don’t know where to start now, please advise me how do I proceed further in my life. How to make my hubby stop this forex trading and concentrate on making money by doing some part time job apart from his job. I have two daughters who are still in primary school. My parents are also dependent on us. Please help me by providing some advice.

Background: I am a diploma holder in my late 20s with 2 years of experience in healthcare engineering field and currently pursuing a PT degree. I recently received an offer from a MNC. Package details are as follows.

Package details: Gross monthly salary of $4.3k+ inclusive of transport allowance(which is CPF deductible). Standard office working hours from 8.30am – 5.30pm, Monday to Friday.

Flexi Cash benefit of $2.5k per annum credited directly to bank account. 13th month given and annual performance bonus of 1-2 months. Company medical insurance included for all employees (Outpatient, in-patient and specialist amongst others).

Continued: Earlier this year, I came across a salary guide in Singapore that the median income for Singaporeans is $4.8k/month for males in 2021(not sure if it’s true).

Though what I am offered is more than what I am drawing currently, does this mean that I am being low-balled considering that it’s now 2022 and I am still offered <$4.8k??

A part of me wants to negotiate for a better package but ironically, I am afraid that if I attempted to negotiate the salary package, this offer will go to the other candidates in line after me.

But then again who would accept this offer when it’s way below the market rate of 4.8k sgd as reported right? I seriously hope employers in Singapore can compensate potential employees fairly amidst the rising cost of living and inflation.

PS: I hope to gather feedback if such offer is considered reasonable to the general public before deciding on my next move. Thanks.

Netizens’ comments

• 4.3k for dip holder is considered very good already..what more you want
• Diploma holder in late 20s. This pay is very good already, isn’t it?
• The median may be taking the incomes of different walks of life, some with many years of experience and from different industries.
  How do u think your 2y experience is compared to the median years of experience working in sg? More or less than the median?
  On the internet, no one knows your situation or your industry. Better places to compare are Glassdoor or indeed for company review and salary range.
  On whether to negotiate, you may want to consider if the company’s offer is sincere. It gives you a sense of the people and culture, which are a lot more important in the long term development with the company.

I am an insurance agent. So many negative and hilarious posts about my job. Thought I’ll offer another perspective to some people who are considering joining.

My credentials: I am under 30, in this line for years, quarter-million annual taxable income, MDRT and all the other awards, blah blah blah….

1. Do not underestimate the privilege of having no liabilities & responsibilities.

I joined this line at 21, and only needed to take care of myself financially. This means I could afford to earn only $12k a year back then while building my career slowly and organically. Treating every day working as a learning opportunity rather than being super despo to close the sale. Those desperate to close the sale usually fail because consumers are not idiots. Then it becomes a vicious cycle, no sale = no money = more despo. Trust me, you will earn like shit the first few years. That’s normal. Those “successful”, “young” agents that earn money “fast” are liars. There are so many dirty tricks in this industry to con the consumers. If you know you know.

Literally get good at money.

So many agents only call themselves “investment specialists” but can only sell their companies’ ILP. That’s bulls… I know so many junior agents that do not even have a brokerage account and whatever issues the client has, ILP will always be the answer.

While you are earning like shit, you should invest your own money and be legit good. Attend courses like CFA, CFP, ChFC, Certified Private Banking etc and APPLY the knowledge learnt. Do your own investments, talk to doctors to be aware of medical trends, be extremely familiar with all the different hospitals processes. Personally, I have certain qualifications and run my own investment holdings company, hence clients trust my advice more than some XMM in a LV bag talking about why her ILP is the best.

3. Network like f***.

Consumers can buy insurance online and this trend will increase in the future. So what is the agent’s value proposition? I am the problem solver. Need some free legal advice? I can set up an informal dinner with my lawyer clients. Need a medical appt soon, I can bypass the long waiting time and set one for you within 3 days. Need to divorce your spouse? I know many private investigators and dirty tricks to increase your chances of winning. Need car mechanics and workshops? I get kickbacks from the shops and pass it to you as a form of savings. Need renovators and interior designers? I know people. Wanna get a job in IB (JP, UBS, Morgan Stanley etc), I know people, lemme set up a lunch. This network is exclusive to paying customers only, not even my extended family or friends have access to it, unless they are paying customers. The more the customers pay, the more priority you get in my network. So, it becomes a bidding war among customers and it makes good business sense.

That’s all. You can earn a lot in this career, but it is all blood sweat and tears. Young naive people also quite dumb ah, you think can just suka suka earn $100K fresh out of school, with no qualifications meh? There is always a price to pay, hope this enlightens people out there.

Maybe I shall do a confession exposing how agents appear successful? and churning practices? hahahahaha