“Need help. How do you get your SO to save up?

We got married and bought a house. 3 years later he’s still using CPF to pay for mortgage (I pay 70% of mortgage and he pays the rest and utilities)

He has absolutely no investment and does not seem to have savings – his mother hinted that he borrowed money from her by saying “it’s easy to lend money to him. But hard to get it back”

I proposed the idea of creating joint account and save up together. He’d refused. He’s also never given me money since both of us hold full time jobs.

Most of his money are spent on client meals (claimable but troublesome so it’s unlikely he’s claiming them) , grab and grab food. Not that I don’t want to cook but he doesn’t like my cooking since I prefer to cook balanced meals with moderate sodium and oil. He may eat a bowl and leave me to eat the entire pot myself. Then throw the rest and order supper.

Now we are going back to office. He’s grabbing to and from work every day. As well as when he has to travel to meet clients.

Hes also the kind to ignore grab vouchers unless they’re substantial (Eg $10. $2, $5 he may just ignore)

I feel very stressed. How should I influence him to save up for future? Now maybe he has $5k in bank account because he says he wants to go holiday…. (If $5k is all he has I rather he saves it up or pay his mother back)”

Here are what netizens think:

• He needs an experienced Certified Financial Planner or CFP® professional to help him.

• Use cpf wrong meh? Most ppl doing that leh. But the rest of his pattern is quite horrible unless he’s making like 15 to 20k monthly la.

• This guy seem like a total jiak Liao bee, might as well marry to a piece of wood

• I came across this quote just now. Sometimes when ppl keep on making bad decisions, however much we try to warn them, they will not listen. Wait till he crash and burn. But be smart about your own money too. Don’t be burdened by his poor spending habits. Sorry to say, I really think he is a loser.

“Hello, does anyone have good Insurance Agent to recommend?

I have graduated for some years but yet to buy any because:

1. Most agent quit / change company within 10 years. Successful agents may be pushed by their companies to be their own director and set up own insurance MLM after some years. Then who answer my questions / help me claim 10 years down the road?

2. Many are 1% passion and 99% money motivated. So they go away after you sign on the dotted line / after 7 day free look period. Or recommend stupid things like investment link policy and endowment to grow wealth (?????). Some even propose policies that gives payout annually then use this to buy another separate policy so they can get more comms (technically u may “save” more by just choosing a policy that doesn’t give payout?)

3. I hate the 7 year trailing income system. Take 7 years of commission and I still hear of many shitty services. Propose high premiums / refuse to send Benefit Illustration / delayed claim processing / never fight for claims etc / stop picking up calls after signing / keep reschedule meet up etc

4. I don’t trust anyone in my circle who has become Insurance Agent cuz some aren’t the type to celebrate other people’s successes but they still pretend to post such images and write fake testimonials for each other. Cannot tahan their low key humble brag. And I know some fail Math + English in school so I don’t trust them to manage delicate things like Insurance with a lot of T&C.

Where do I find friendly, experienced agent for long term relationship and will propose policies based on my needs and not theirs?”

Sigh, it’s so tiring being a female. I’ve always been a happy-go-lucky and bubbly kinda girl. And I’m always uncomfortable when girls around me like to compare everything and anything. In the beginning, it was the education level.

I graduated from poly and had lower income than some friends. So even though some of them gave me the attitude that I’m “lower” than them, I don’t mind because I’m not one who always want to win. I’m just comfortable in my own skin.

Somehow, I got into another job where I earned probably x2 or x3 of their income. They actually didn’t know(by chance) until few years later because I also didn’t go around saying. It wasn’t until one day they caught me driving my car then they asked about it.

In fact…I was hiding the fact that I bought it…for fear they will (again) compare this and that. So this group of girls likes to compare education level, income, car, house etc.

Another group of girls is different. They don’t compare about education and income because they don’t have much.

So they start to compare how many guys are wooing them and giving them attention. My motto is just go out drink and have fun. But they always have to compete by asking how many guys you know tonight etc.

While I’m definitely UNABLE to be as initiative and passionate as them, I can’t deny that the peer pressure had influenced me to be slightly friendlier to strangers who approached me(which I’m usually not).

Then, for subsequent gatherings, every girl is supposed to bring guys(to drink together – I didn’t do anything else). I was slowly brainwashed into this is normal. But it’s not. The guys gave me so many problems when they get jealous over one another.

Some tried to kiss me when they were drunk. Some girlfriends got into conflicts with me when they started to like my guy friends because my guy friends are much better looking than theirs.

It was so chaotic until 1 day I told myself I got to stop all this nonsense. So, I stopped bringing my guy friends to gatherings, lying that they can’t make it. No matter how much the girls ridiculed me at not having any guy friends with me, I ignored them.

To my shock, one of them liked my guy friend so much that she asked him to join without my knowledge. Things became awkward between me and him. My friends knew he liked me but I don’t like him(It’s not that I don’t like him lah, I don’t like his advances when he’s drunk.

He treats me pretty well when he’s sober). So gradually they invited him to gatherings but excluded me so that it’s easier to seduce him without me around. I suddenly realized how toxic this group is and I ditched them.

Years later, I got to know a bunch of really awesome girls who are totally not like that. They don’t compare about this and that and values girls’ friendship more than other unimportant things.

And I realized the similarities among them: They are happy and comfortable in their own skin, just like me, not competitive. Happy as in really happy with their married/attached/single status – Not the kind who are married/attached but unhappy OR single but so desperate to get laid those kind.

They value friendship of us girls alot. Last but not least, they are more or less the same caliber as me. As in, we are pretty much equally well-liked – nobody gets left out.

Everytime we go out, different guys will approach us. As in, it’s very balanced. It’s always so much fun with them. (For the previous group, it wasn’t very balanced – I had too much attention than the others.

In short, girls….stick with happy people. Happy and uncompetitive people. With my vast experience with toxic females……the more competitive they are, the more toxic they are. And it has nothing to do with age. Some 30 years old, married already, still behave like petty teenagers, thinking they are starring the Mean Girls movie.