Dating my bf close to 3 months but I saw something on his YouTube feed that might be a red flag.

We were watching YouTube together, but I notice his home page is full of videos of people like Jordan Peterson, and the titles of the videos are quite insensitive. I did not question him then, but when I researched myself, I found out that these people are like men’s rights activists and are quite misogynistic.

I would consider myself a feminist, so I brought up his YouTube history with him, and he says he just watches it “for fun”. Idk if this is true, or will he abuse me or something in the future. So far, he has never been physical with me and has been quite nice. We do have occasional arguments, but he would apologise later.

But I do notice lately that he has been less gentlemanly compared to when we first started dating. Like previously he would always pay for our dates, and sometimes I would offer to split, but he never would let me pay. But nowadays, often he actually accepts when I offered to pay half. I mean, I know I shouldn’t expect him to pay for all our dates, but I just felt disappointed how he treated me so well before, but he changed after getting comfortable with me. I feel like those videos are making him less gentlemanly.

Idk if this is a red flag I should look out for, or should I tell him to stop watching those videos? Any girls have bfs who watches those videos?

The girl was flamed by netizens:

• If you are a true feminist, you should be happy that he finally treats you as an equal and allow you to pay for your share.

• Half the time they leave out the subtext of the interpretation of equality, which is “when convenient”

• guess feminists like her wants to be treated like a queen. just wow

• You consider yourself a feminist, which would mean that you at least agree with fighting for female rights, but then you have an issue when men’s rights activists are fighting for men’s rights? So only female rights are worth fighting for, but not men’s rights? If you think Jordan Peterson’s content is misogynistic, clearly you have not researched enough. Because rational women would actually agree with Jordan Peterson.

• What’s wrong with letting you pay half? So you’re supposed to be the progressive modern feminist woman who breaks gender stereotypes, who is supposed to be able to have the same or higher education as men, have the same career as men, earn the same pay as men, but when it comes to dates, somehow none of the progressive feministic idelogies apply and now the man is expected to assume the traditional gender role of the provider while you assume the traditional gender role of being provided for? See, this is the hypocrisy of the modern feminist woman. They want “progressiveness” only when it benefits them. They proclaim to want to break gender sterotypes and gender roles, but what they actually mean is they want to be as modern as they want but the man has to stay traditional.

Mother asking me (25F) to buy her expensive items

Recently started working (1+ year ago) Mom keeps asking me to buy her expensive items (e.g IPhone, holidays, restaurant meals) she is quite a spendthrift and once racked up $10k in credit card bills and barely has any savings (less then $20k).

I’m quite a thrifty person in comparison (buy hawker meals, take public transport)

I don’t give her allowance but I put aside money ($300/month) for parents into an index funds account as a safety net for their retirement.

It’s been a point of tension between us because she feels like I’m not giving her money, but I’m pretty sure it’ll be spent asap.

Am I wrong for saving the money for her? Or is it her “right” as a parent to get allowance from me to “repay” her back?

I’m not sure if I’m the only one facing this issue? How would you guys react??

Netizens’ comments

• Communicate it and voice out your concern. If she wants allowance, she can, however when she use finish cannot ask for more.
• communicate it. yes she’s ur parent but it sounds like she wants you to fund her lifestyle, and no offence she can’t over use the fact that you’re making money because she raised you when you were a child and provided necessities , that’s her job as a mother.
  I’m sure you love her but do communicate this and don’t let the tension fester bc it’ll get worse . What’s she been doing w the $300 you put aside for them? Or you can just get her ONE of the things she’s asked for, and for the rest she can save up for those items with the allowance u give her.
  I’m not working, not even close but i know for a fact that lack of communication and festered unresolved tension can and will eventually hugely strain or break the relationship . Apologies if i sounded harsh. in the end you know ur mother best. Best wishes

I am 19 this year, It is my first trip to Bangkok and I just had a massage and the masseuse touched me inappropriately

Got photo of my body taken by uncle on mrt

Just still kinda shaken up honestly posting here just because I’m full of regret and blaming myself.

I know he was taking pictures of me because I’ve been glancing at him for a while now in the mrt and he had his phone angled at me and everything, would pretend to fiddle with it if he caught me looking at him.

Stared at him for a good minute after he pointed his phone at me upright for a really long time and when he noticed he panicked and his phone slipped a bit to tilt downwards, saw he was on the camera app, could tell because I could clearly see the white circle to take pics and the moving surroundings through the camera screen.

I didn’t know what to do because I didn’t want to cause a scene. I’m paranoid of going viral and stuff and there are many instances of like people blaming the girl for what she was wearing or whatever esp in like comments.

You know, the usual “if she dress liddat she should expect to be taken photo of” or wtv. I shouldn’t even be trying to justify myself but I’m just naturally more endowed I guess and sometimes my tops don’t fit me properly.

I dunno man I hate myself so much just alighted at next stop and tried to forget this happened. Really didn’t know what to do, 50 year old man probably has pics of my body in his phone now

Netizens’ comments

There’s nothing to regret or blame.

If this old cheekopeh took some photo, it’s not the end of the world. He will probably share to his WhatsApp etc but in the end, you broke no laws so you don’t need to panic or be afraid

Next steps is up to you. If this has pissed you off enough, make a police report and force the issue. If you don’t want to, either because it’s a hassle or because ps to explain to the police, that’s fine too. In some cases like this you can’t change the outcome, you can only change your response to the situation.

I(m22) am the co-owner of a business with my father. My dad first started it about 2 years ago and I later joined him a year ago and started managing it for him. My brother who we will call “J”(22) worked in the business for abit but only really started working in the business at the beginning of this year.

I have a full time job, married w/children.. My wife stays at home with the kids.

We seem to be living paycheck to paycheck, especially this past month. Most recently, i’ve had a vehicle break down and had to spend $500 to get it fixed, and now we’re left with $69 in our account and i have to stretch that out over the next 10 days until i get paid again.

I and my wife would really like for her to stay at home with the kids, but we’re wondering if there is any sort of “side hustle” she could do from home to help out?

Or anything that has helped you manage your money better?

We have a good family, we’re happy together.. it just seems like our only stress is money. Any advice is appreciated. Thank you in advance!

Netizens’ comments

The very first thing you need to do is create a budget and track your spending. If you don’t know where the money you’re bringing home now is going, chances are you won’t know where extra money is going either.

Track every dollar for a few months and figure out how you can trim the fat and stay within your means. Your wife can take a WFH gig or ‘side hustle’, but you have to set your house in order, my friend.

In the here and now, maybe consider trying to sell a few high dollar items you may have that you can live without? Just my tuppence.

My boyfriend and I have been together for around two years. I’m nineteen and he’s twenty-one. My S drive is almost nothing, it always has been. I think he views it as this problem that I have that he can magically fix with S.

I tried to have S as and when I can, but most of the time either my mental or physical health gets in the way.

My (35M) gf (35F) tells her coworkers that we are cousins

My gf and I have been together for 6 years. She keeps hinting at wanting to get married and talking about what her wedding will be like someday.

So I’ve decided to take the hint. I bought an engagement ring a week ago and am planning to pop the question sometime soon.

Well, over the weekend she had a work function. This was the first time she’s invited me along. I’m not super outgoing, but I was kind of looking forward to meeting all these coworkers she talks about so much.

For some reason, every time we talked to someone, she introduced me as her “cousin”. I thought it was a joke at first, but she kept at the whole day.

When we were driving home I asked her what that was all about, and she said she “didn’t want people to have the wrong impression”.

When I asked what that meant, she said she didn’t want to talk about it anymore, and I shouldn’t be so upset. She then switched the conversation to her favorite TV show.

Why would she introduce me as her cousin? Should I insist on her telling me why she did that before I propose?

Netizens’ comments

• Hope you kept the receipt for that ring. She’s most likely got someone at work that she likes.
• Tell her that since you two are now cousins in her eyes you will be returning the ring as you dont think it is right to marry your own cousin
• The only thing I can think of is her coworkers already met her BF and it wasn’t you.

For context: I (22M) have 2 siblings (22F and 23F) and I am the youngest (the youngest twin). But we are all adults now.