How do you tell your partner they are becoming less attractive to you and ask for them to work on it?

I’ve (27) been dating my BF (29) for almost 3.5 years. For the first two years I couldn’t imagine my life without him or imagine wanting anyone else and I still feel like he’s an incredible partner.

However, I am significantly less attracted to him now than I used to. Obviously, the stage of infatuation and new relationship energy is bound to wear off but I believe being attracted to my partner (physically and mentally) is important.

He really doesn’t take care of himself. He has a lot of inherited digestion issues including celiac which causes his breath to smell like rotten eggs when his guts aren’t doing well.

It didn’t used to bother me enough to be a problem most of the time but it’s getting really unattractive and I have a hard time making out with him.

He also has been loosing hair. Tbh it’s gotten better than when I first met him because he started taking meds and using good shampoo & hair oil (both things I’ve worked really hard to find for him because he hates most lotions and anything moisturizing).

The thing is he wants LONG (ish) hair and it’s slowly starting to feel like a toupee especially since he isn’t styling it and refuses to accept that his hair is getting curly and fuzzy as it’s thinning.

On top of this he just shaved all of his facial hair and I had never seen his bare face before. I felt like one of those baby’s that cry when their dad shaved off his beard.

He’s so rough with it that his chin is always flaky and inflamed but he refuses to put anything on it (again he hates anything moisturizing).

I really need to talk to him about this but I don’t know how to bring this up without sounding insensitive because some of it he can’t control but some of it he clearly doesn’t care about/ doesn’t want to deal with it.

I’ve obviously mentioned these things throughout the years and I’ve tried to find solutions that he would like but I’ve reached a point where NEED him to care and put in more effort if we are going to have a romantic relationship.

A netizen was seen asking online if he or she should purchase a car with the $400 car allowance which his or her company is providing.

Here is the post

“Hi everyone,

First of all, I have never own a car before hence I have zero experience in getting one.

So for me, my job require me to go to different site 2 to 3 times per week. Currently, my company is providing 100% of my grab fare for work which accumulate to $400+ per month.

I really love driving and i wish to be able to drive my family around as well. So I am thinking if i could ask for transport allowance of $400 to drive my own car instead.

What I am looking at is second hand Honda Fit which is roughly $15k. So probably downpayment 5k and pay roughly $500+/- per month.

Other than that I know there is alot of expenses as well like insurance, road tax and etc but I’m not exactly sure like roughly how much would it be every month if i drive 3-4 times per week.”

Replies and comments by netizens

• Your 500 per month is purely the price of the car, other costs are not factored in yet. As reference, i bought a 2y 17k fit last aug so far i have changed my tires, cleaned my catalytic converter, replaced my battery. I have added all costs with excess that can be thought of, so far it comes up to approx 1.3k per month for 2 years.

However this comes with convenience and time saved that could be better used. End of day its up to you as long it doesnt cause you to lose sleep at night. Do as you deem fit. For me, im just checking something off my life tdl and since its 2 years not really much damage to my pocket.

Cash payment
Insurance: more ex if you have lesser years of experience/more claims prior my 1st year 1.9k
Petrol : check fuel prices sg
Road tax: older car pays more tax, can google. my was 720 this year, next year will increase
Season Parking: 120 mscp
Servicing: 60 to 80 depend on shop
Car inspection: done yearly at vicom 64.20 unless changed
Potential traffic flouts: speeding/beat red light
Potential parts replacement: infinite, see your luck.

• No don’t waste money on a car here. Petrol is only getting more expensive, you need to pay for maintenance, parking coupon, fines etc. taking a grab or taxi is much more convenient
• Can try Comfort Delgro, sometimes it’s a bit cheaper, but yes as long as you can claim from work I don’t see an issue. Trust me, owning a car here is actually a debt. Unless you have the means to pay it downright with cash I think better not

Image source: Unsplash

My ex got me pregnant and dumped me. Finally got over it, he calls me yesterday to tell me his new girlfriend is also pregnant.

I’m 16 weeks pregnant today! Yay!

Before the judgement starts, I’m 25, financially stable with a car and a house and can provide for a baby.

At 4 weeks, I called my then-boyfriend sobbing because I was pregnant. I was upset because I’m career oriented, but ultimately decided to keep the baby.

I could have gotten an abortion if I needed to, but I want to raise this child.

He broke up with me over the phone and blocked me because he said it was unfair that I didn’t get an abortion because I was basically making the choice for him.

I understand his point of view (don’t agree) so I let it go. I moved on. I went to my appointments by myself, found out the gender (it’s a boy!), and have started decorating his room.

I finally felt happy and had completely moved on from the huge act of betrayal I faced early on. I legitimately felt so good about myself, the pregnancy, my life… things were so, so good.

Yesterday, my ex called me with a blocked number and asked to talk. I was cautious and considered saying no but I thought if he finally came to his senses and wanted to be involved, I needed to hear him out.

Instead, he tells me his new girlfriend, whom he has dated for “84 days” is pregnant. He called me because he thought I would be “happy for him” because I have “moved on and am happy with my life”.

He’s going to be involved and supportive to the new girl and their child, but has not changed his mind on being involved with ours.

I unblocked him to give him a chance to explain, but in it ended with me confirming to him that he would never hear from me again. I changed my phone number this morning.

I know I am pregnant and need to be strong, but Jesus Christ I wouldn’t wish the feeling I have on a single other person on this earth.

I feel so unwanted, so useless, so immensely miserable. I don’t know how I can move forward. I can’t tell anyone about this because it’s such an embarrassing thing..

How do you even pick yourself up after feeling this devastated?

Today I was going to work as usual. During the transit, I came across this post, that a man was asking the OP to take a photo and whatsapp him.

Immediately my first thought is that OP might be a girl and I was thinking ‘walau, why Singapore become like this liao?’

6.30 PM I was going back home as usual. The same train that the aforementioned OP took, from Downtown to BP. I walked and took the escalator going up.

In the midst of it, a slim and small guy (I am 173) wearing specs with black shirt and pants, in his 25-28 I believe, talked to me.

As I was wearing earpiece, I couldn’t understand what he was talking. Lazy me didn’t turn off the music, I just keep ‘huh’ ‘huh’.

Turned out he was asking me to take selfie and whatsapp to him. I think he asked like ‘Can you take a photo and whatsapp to me?’

Suddenly my brain got an electric shock, shag, it was the post that I read this morning! But seriously dude, I am a guy also WTF.

Then I straight away said no of course. That black shirt spec guy was very angry and show me his middle finger while walking up the escalator.

Also at the same time, he kept on swearing. Everyone around was looking at him, but siao lang doesn’t care one ma.

I followed him from a distance, he rushed to take the bus that just arrived. The BP bus stop on the right-hand side once you come up the escalator, with Hillion on the left.

I didn’t feel angry, just feel sibeh strange. Why Singapore like this liao and why BP suddenly become Yishun huh? Anyway I am not planning to lodge any report, I don’t feel any threat but only strangeness.

Recap

A netizen who drives with Grab Hitch was seen sharing his or her encounters online with Grab hitch ride hailers during the time when he or she was actively driving Grab hitch.

Here is what the netizen shared

“Drove hitch before the start of the pandemic from CBD to home. Because I thought I could just earn some spare cash since it’s on the way. After a few of these horror episodes I stopped sending people home

Ep1: girl keeps messing with my passenger seat height / lumbar support and angle. For good 15mins until exit expressway. I told her where each button is and what they do. She criticised my car saying it sucks and the chair spoilt. “better to send it to workshop”.

Ep2: picked up this guy from MBFC. Asked what audi model my car is. And starts going about how his car is a Mercedes coupe and how many audis he has owned before. I followed the GPS but he kept insisting he wants to go his way because it’s faster. The whole trip he just keep directing me and telling me how rich he is and how he goes shopping in his 2 door mercs. Annoying. Why so cheapskate take hitch then?

Ep3: girl keeps saying 5min 5min 5min more until I waited 20mins then she showed up. I dunno why I stayed but I learned not to stay for more than 5mins

Ep4: Korean girl asks me to drop her right at the car park entrance for her convenience. I told her I can’t stop there it will block everyone so I dropped her just 10 steps in front. She berated me and said now she has to walk back. Wtf it is just a few steps.

Ep5: lady last min change her mind and asks to stop immediately. How to stop immediately just like that? Bus behind horned me like mad. Almost got rear ended by bus and got scolded by woman.

General pet peeve.. People treating grab hitch drivers like general taxis and disrespecting our personal property. It’s our car for goodness. Don’t fiddle with our stuff

Of course there are many other good stories. But after a few of these horror stories, felt I no need that extra money anymore. Save me the trouble and time. Don’t wanna deal with idiots anymore”

Image source: Grab

Educated and unemployed feel bad for my kids

Some change in family situation and a toxic work environment made me quit my well paying job just before covid. ive been unemployed till now.

My kids are in IHL. They feel bad asking me for money but no choice they need money.

I sense them trying their best to stretch their pocket money i feel bad for them. But i lack the will or desire to work because i feel so down for all the crap in the past and also my age almost 50.

I need to find the strength to hustle again because i cant bear seeing my children struggle. Sometimes i think in lieu of my mental struggles, God should just call me home now.

Netizens’ comments

1. Please get some help, go to polyclinic and get a referral for subsidised therapy at IMH. There’s no shame in getting help for your mental health. You need to stay strong for your kids. You know you are spiralling and that’s a start. Please do something about it and wishing u all the best.
2. Hi, don’t give up hope. I’m in a pretty similar situation as well (nearing 50, doesn’t enjoy the work that I’m doing etc) but not giving up hope becos of my kids. Hang in there…. like what most of the ppl have suggested, start off with some part time work to pick up the momentum then move to contract or permanent when you’re ready, try out something new perhaps if you’re sick of your old job? stay strong for the people you love and the people who love you
3. So , first you resigned n said you feel bad for your kids and then you contemplated leaving this earth and then your kids will be parent-less . If you really spare a thought for your kids then reflect upon what kind of support are you providing them , do you think backup money is enough? So how will they feel being young , dependent and without a parent’s presence ? Come on lah
   Everyone has to take up their load and carry it in life and nobody gets to escape and find an easy way out ( at least you think someone ELSE has it easier but they don’t )
   Step up for your kids and do better !
   Start by charting an exercise routine everyday start 10 mins
   Now you have a lot of time right ? Then at least use this opportunity to get your health better ( yes so we won’t be a health burden to our children)
   Once you exercise and the happy hormone level rises meantime get some side hustle and focus on getting the new role . Apply 100x .
   All the best ( and pls lahh hcw v busy don’t add to the hospital queue tks lol ) if really need just get a mental health rv at GP 2.