My ex got me pregnant and dumped me. Finally got over it, he calls me yesterday to tell me his new girlfriend is also pregnant.

I’m 16 weeks pregnant today! Yay!

Before the judgement starts, I’m 25, financially stable with a car and a house and can provide for a baby.

At 4 weeks, I called my then-boyfriend sobbing because I was pregnant. I was upset because I’m career oriented, but ultimately decided to keep the baby.

I could have gotten an abortion if I needed to, but I want to raise this child.

He broke up with me over the phone and blocked me because he said it was unfair that I didn’t get an abortion because I was basically making the choice for him.

I understand his point of view (don’t agree) so I let it go. I moved on. I went to my appointments by myself, found out the gender (it’s a boy!), and have started decorating his room.

I finally felt happy and had completely moved on from the huge act of betrayal I faced early on. I legitimately felt so good about myself, the pregnancy, my life… things were so, so good.

Yesterday, my ex called me with a blocked number and asked to talk. I was cautious and considered saying no but I thought if he finally came to his senses and wanted to be involved, I needed to hear him out.

Instead, he tells me his new girlfriend, whom he has dated for “84 days” is pregnant. He called me because he thought I would be “happy for him” because I have “moved on and am happy with my life”.

He’s going to be involved and supportive to the new girl and their child, but has not changed his mind on being involved with ours.

I unblocked him to give him a chance to explain, but in it ended with me confirming to him that he would never hear from me again. I changed my phone number this morning.

I know I am pregnant and need to be strong, but Jesus Christ I wouldn’t wish the feeling I have on a single other person on this earth.

I feel so unwanted, so useless, so immensely miserable. I don’t know how I can move forward. I can’t tell anyone about this because it’s such an embarrassing thing..

How do you even pick yourself up after feeling this devastated?

Today I was going to work as usual. During the transit, I came across this post, that a man was asking the OP to take a photo and whatsapp him.

Immediately my first thought is that OP might be a girl and I was thinking ‘walau, why Singapore become like this liao?’

6.30 PM I was going back home as usual. The same train that the aforementioned OP took, from Downtown to BP. I walked and took the escalator going up.

In the midst of it, a slim and small guy (I am 173) wearing specs with black shirt and pants, in his 25-28 I believe, talked to me.

As I was wearing earpiece, I couldn’t understand what he was talking. Lazy me didn’t turn off the music, I just keep ‘huh’ ‘huh’.

Turned out he was asking me to take selfie and whatsapp to him. I think he asked like ‘Can you take a photo and whatsapp to me?’

Suddenly my brain got an electric shock, shag, it was the post that I read this morning! But seriously dude, I am a guy also WTF.

Then I straight away said no of course. That black shirt spec guy was very angry and show me his middle finger while walking up the escalator.

Also at the same time, he kept on swearing. Everyone around was looking at him, but siao lang doesn’t care one ma.

I followed him from a distance, he rushed to take the bus that just arrived. The BP bus stop on the right-hand side once you come up the escalator, with Hillion on the left.

I didn’t feel angry, just feel sibeh strange. Why Singapore like this liao and why BP suddenly become Yishun huh? Anyway I am not planning to lodge any report, I don’t feel any threat but only strangeness.

Recap

A netizen who drives with Grab Hitch was seen sharing his or her encounters online with Grab hitch ride hailers during the time when he or she was actively driving Grab hitch.

Here is what the netizen shared

“Drove hitch before the start of the pandemic from CBD to home. Because I thought I could just earn some spare cash since it’s on the way. After a few of these horror episodes I stopped sending people home

Ep1: girl keeps messing with my passenger seat height / lumbar support and angle. For good 15mins until exit expressway. I told her where each button is and what they do. She criticised my car saying it sucks and the chair spoilt. “better to send it to workshop”.

Ep2: picked up this guy from MBFC. Asked what audi model my car is. And starts going about how his car is a Mercedes coupe and how many audis he has owned before. I followed the GPS but he kept insisting he wants to go his way because it’s faster. The whole trip he just keep directing me and telling me how rich he is and how he goes shopping in his 2 door mercs. Annoying. Why so cheapskate take hitch then?

Ep3: girl keeps saying 5min 5min 5min more until I waited 20mins then she showed up. I dunno why I stayed but I learned not to stay for more than 5mins

Ep4: Korean girl asks me to drop her right at the car park entrance for her convenience. I told her I can’t stop there it will block everyone so I dropped her just 10 steps in front. She berated me and said now she has to walk back. Wtf it is just a few steps.

Ep5: lady last min change her mind and asks to stop immediately. How to stop immediately just like that? Bus behind horned me like mad. Almost got rear ended by bus and got scolded by woman.

General pet peeve.. People treating grab hitch drivers like general taxis and disrespecting our personal property. It’s our car for goodness. Don’t fiddle with our stuff

Of course there are many other good stories. But after a few of these horror stories, felt I no need that extra money anymore. Save me the trouble and time. Don’t wanna deal with idiots anymore”

Image source: Grab

Educated and unemployed feel bad for my kids

Some change in family situation and a toxic work environment made me quit my well paying job just before covid. ive been unemployed till now.

My kids are in IHL. They feel bad asking me for money but no choice they need money.

I sense them trying their best to stretch their pocket money i feel bad for them. But i lack the will or desire to work because i feel so down for all the crap in the past and also my age almost 50.

I need to find the strength to hustle again because i cant bear seeing my children struggle. Sometimes i think in lieu of my mental struggles, God should just call me home now.

Netizens’ comments

1. Please get some help, go to polyclinic and get a referral for subsidised therapy at IMH. There’s no shame in getting help for your mental health. You need to stay strong for your kids. You know you are spiralling and that’s a start. Please do something about it and wishing u all the best.
2. Hi, don’t give up hope. I’m in a pretty similar situation as well (nearing 50, doesn’t enjoy the work that I’m doing etc) but not giving up hope becos of my kids. Hang in there…. like what most of the ppl have suggested, start off with some part time work to pick up the momentum then move to contract or permanent when you’re ready, try out something new perhaps if you’re sick of your old job? stay strong for the people you love and the people who love you
3. So , first you resigned n said you feel bad for your kids and then you contemplated leaving this earth and then your kids will be parent-less . If you really spare a thought for your kids then reflect upon what kind of support are you providing them , do you think backup money is enough? So how will they feel being young , dependent and without a parent’s presence ? Come on lah
   Everyone has to take up their load and carry it in life and nobody gets to escape and find an easy way out ( at least you think someone ELSE has it easier but they don’t )
   Step up for your kids and do better !
   Start by charting an exercise routine everyday start 10 mins
   Now you have a lot of time right ? Then at least use this opportunity to get your health better ( yes so we won’t be a health burden to our children)
   Once you exercise and the happy hormone level rises meantime get some side hustle and focus on getting the new role . Apply 100x .
   All the best ( and pls lahh hcw v busy don’t add to the hospital queue tks lol ) if really need just get a mental health rv at GP 2.

Are locals Singaporeans just so hard to befriend? Or are foreigners just so friendly and easy to befriend?

I am a local Singaporean and have worked in NUS for almost a year, and several companies previously. So far the wonderful friends that I had made naturally through face to face conversations are all foreigners from all over the world..

China, Thai, Indian, Indonesian, Egyptian, Spanish, Malaysian, Korean, Fillipino, Sri Lankan.. you name it all.

Been in greatly multicultural workplace environments especially over here in NUS. We still keep in contact even after leaving our previous jobs.

Very very few Singaporeans, and thats about it.

On the other hand, I have had 1 of the worst relationships ever when I tried to befriend the local Singaporeans at NUS and my past workplaces, have never gotten well.

They turned out to be all cliquish, exclusive, judgemental gossipers and cut-throat style and one of the most selfish unhelpful people, from what I had encountered.

Is there just something wrong with me or is it just a horrible Singaporean culture thing?

Netizens’ comments

1. Huh? Singaporeans mostly make Singaporean friends what. I think you’re the outlier. If you’re local Singaporean, yet cannot make Singaporean friends, it’s very weird.
2. In my opinion, there are several factors in play here. I can name 3.
   1 being that the fact that they are in a foreign country generally makes them less likely to be introverted (introverted people are less likely to move overseas, especially into a crowded city) and hence more willing to engage and make new friends.
   The 2nd factor is that most locals will already have a good network of friends compared to to the foreigners and are likely less to be actively looking for new friends.
   As for 3, people living in a highly competitive city are more apprehensive of or overloaded with friends requests.
   Hence, they are more prone to rejecting new friend requests. Not always true, but a high propensity for these to happen.
3. To be honest and neutral stand point. I understand you wish to make friends, perhaps making friends with the local. But but… There are many different types of people ranging from good to toxic. I am a Singaporean too, I face all kinds but I told myself, to be good and respectful, and not axx to others no matter who they are.
   Two things we can reflect upon
   1) if we hope to meet people we want, then we will be the type of people who we desire.
   2) perhaps we clean our own lenses (perception of others) first. No matter what country they are from or where we are, we have the same blood colour. Still human.
   Maybe lastly… If we can make friends with other countries, can’t make one locally… That is some issue for sure. Just like can we say a person respectful towards elderly but rude to his own parents?

A netizen recently posted online reminiscing the times where other there were many available PHV options other than Grab.

This was after the netizen faced a $40 fare from east to west in Grab and lamented that in the past (early 2010s), the fare from east to west was below $20.

It seems like the netizen is talking about the era where private hire vehicles first started and companies like Grab and Uber were still the main forces in the market.

Here is what the netizen posted

I havent’s take Grab in a long time and today, i witnessed what everyone’s been complaining about. i was travelling from East to West – fare was almost $40. that’s secondary.. the nearest driver was 10 mins away. and then he couldn’t find where my drop off was. he cancelled (i tried to call a few times/ texted him if he needs help, can call me. but no response) and then i rebooked and nearest one was 10 mins again. thinking that if i should go home and wait or just continue waiting at the drop off. decided to just stay at the dropoff as i dont wanna incur the 3 mins waiting fee. by the time i got into my 2nd Grab, i had waited for more than half an hour at the drop off

as i was waiting for all these to happen, i reminisced the early 2010s when we had Grab, Uber and Gojek. they were always very fast and cheap as well. i remember also travelling from east to west and it was below $20. sigh. and back then when the vouchers were non-stop coming our way. i know they were operating at a loss back then and prolly not viable.. but still.. sigh”

Replies and comments from netizens

• COE and petrol are much higher now. The Grab drivers aren’t earning much more despite the increase in price.
• When was the last time you guys remember keying a Grab promo code that actually meaningful discounts? All we have now is 20% off Grab rides capped at $3 which we have to redeem using our own points. IMO it’s a scam to even call it 20%, just call it $3 off la. Say until so nice.
• No more drivers since the margins are going to the ride hailing app car rentals and oil and gas companies. Higher fare is needed to retain them and attract those Grab drivers who left to come back

Image source: Unsplash, Google Maps

I’m currently dating a teacher for about 2 years, who is 3 years into the job (after PGDE). While we really love each other and are serious about one another, I’m a bit uncertain about our future together due to her workload and commitment to work.

Here is a sample of her average day:

Wake up at 540am
Leave house at 630am
Reach school by 710am
Teach classes till 130-2pm
CCA/ remedials/ meetings/ misc things till 530pm, leave school
Dabao, Reach home at 630pm
Eat dinner and chill to 8pm
Marking from 8 to 1130pm
Shower, etc, till 1230pm
Catch up on emails till 1am then sleep

So based on that, she works maybe 14-15 hours every weekday with just 4.5hrs of sleep and a good day every weekend just to catch up on work that couldn’t be completed and lesson plans. Based on her salary, it’s just ridiculous how much she has to work for that – Retail and F&B workers are better paid hourly than her.

I’ve been getting into fights with her and telling her that her lifestyle and is unsustainable as it’ll lead to big burnouts and her health will suffer. On the flip end, she says that I’m not a teacher and I’d never understand her line of work.

Also, I realised that a lot of her teacher friends (female), are single well into late 30s and 40s – which I guess its due to their teaching lifestyle. On the flip end, most women I know from my line of work (private) are married by their late 30s.

I sincerely hope MOE can do something to lighten teacher’s workloads. While that is wishful thinking, I’m wondering if I could get any advice on how to move forward…or move on.

Frankly I although I love her a lot, she had made it clear that her priority is to be a good teacher. So at the back of my mind, there is always this feeling that she loves teaching more than me.

Also, although we both agreed on having children, based on her workload, I don’t see how we would be able to manage as I’m afraid she’ll leave majority of the child rearing to me while she continues her passion. My job is way less tiring than hers and honestly I’m earning more than double of her – and in order for me to climb more, I need her to do her fair share of child rearing. I’ve mentioned to her that if we got married, I’d like for her to take a step back from her overloaded schedule and this was utterly shot down and more quarrels ensured.

So now I’m at a crossroads – should I push on and try to make things work, or try to move on to find someone who able to be more family oriented?

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