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WOMAN NO TIME TO TAKE CARE OF ELDERLY MUM, PUTS HER INSIDE NURSING HOME

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Putting Parents in a home = unfilial?

I’m currently 46, single and earning about 4k monthly. I have a mother who had stroke about 4 years ago, this was followed by deterioration of her health, as well as affected her brain which gave her an early dementia.

These 4 years has been difficult for me as I have to deal with my mother and care for her all by myself and she is getting worst by the months. I’m the only child and my dad passed away then I was in my 20s.

Dementia affected on her, her behaviour and actions become erratic and I have to manage her. She will go into outbursts, do silly thing like go out in the middle of the night to coffeeshop “for lunch”, throw food out of the kitchen window or refusing to leave the toilet after inside for an hour. All first while need I wake her up daily. Brush her teeth, bath her and settle her meals.

This affected my overall mood and also affect my work. During the pandemic I have to excuse myself to attend to her and take leave often. This affected my work performance and relationship with my colleagues, they think I was lazy.

Her dementia had developed into parkinson’s and her movement starts to go worse. She falls down alot and yet refuse to take the walking stick. Then one of the worst day last year is she fell down trying to cross the road and fracture her knee. While she was hospitalized, I took the courage to visit the MSF centre to request for assistance.

After doing the means test, I was qualified and managed to get a slot at the nursing home at subsidised rate. After waiting in queue for awhile and my mother is in the nursing home now. (MSF take my case as high priority)

After 2 months, feel that the nursing home is actually not that bad. It’s not like in the TV or movies where the old folks are left alone and abused. The nurse takes good care of her. She is well fed and the nurse bath her. In fact she look so much better, gain weight and healthier compared to at home when I care for her.

I was also happy I managed to get my own life back. I can go out with friends and get good nights rest. My work concentration improved too and I think my boss is quite happy. I visit my mother twice a week to make sure she is okay.

But recently my relative found out that my mother is in the nursing home and scolded me. They say why I leave my mother there and blame me for 黑心 and unfilial. They ask why dun get a maid instead (i tried but cannot furing pandemic and too expensive cannot afford, home is subsidised and cheaper by abit) and one even curse me say I will be punished by the Gods and go to 18 level hell.

I was very upset, cos all scold me but none of them offer to help me take care of her. None of them even ask me which home her in and go visit her. Throughout my life my relatives only know how to bully my mother and tske advantage of her. Now things happen to her, they start to blame me? I suddenly become the extended family’s “enemy”.

Am I really wrong and unfilial? Should I bring my mother back home and continue to suffer for both of us? I’m very sick of people judging us.

Netizens’ comments

  • Ignore your relatives…they know how to talk only… Nursing home is an ideal place …imagine you go work & mum is at home with a helper that doesn’t know how to deal with such age related issues…talk to frens who have been thru this….also do make sure to visit mum regularly….all the best 
  • My personal opinion is ignore your relatives. They are basically belong to the category of Theory Man. They talk a lot and will give you all sorts of suggestions and theories but when you need them to do the practical, they will perform the disappearing act of David Copperfield. Just ignore them, do what is the best for your mum. Take care. God bless 

NEW PART-TIMER FORCED TO BUY UNIFORM FOR $40, QUIT ALREADY CAN’T CLAIM MONEY BACK

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Facebook user Lee Shirley, shared on her Facebook that she got a part-time job at a newly opened restaurant in Chinatown, and was “forced” to buy a uniform for $39.90 at Uniqlo.

The manager has purportedly brought her to Uniqlo and asked her to buy the uniform, promising her that she could claim her money back.

She alleged that after quitting her job after working for a month, she couldn’t claim her money back, which was supposed to come with her salary.

Here is what she said

I took up a part-time position at a newly opened restaurant in Chinatown.

The manager said that I have to get my uniforms, preferably from Uniqlo (SGD39.90 for a white top). This is considered pricey for me especially before I start my job and receive my pay. So I didn’t get it.

When I went for my job, my manager mentioned that I can make a claim after I purchase the uniforms. I didn’t want to make a purchase still because it’s a part-time position, I am not sure when I’m going to quit (it may be a waste and I feel bad).

Nevertheless, my manager brought me to Uniqlo nearby after my shift ended and asked me to buy uniforms. I made the purchase and he promised that I will get the claim back together with the salary. Sadly, it didn’t happen.

I quit after working for a month because the working environment was just toxic. It’s been one month after i quit and I’m still not getting the claim. My manager said to me I will not be getting it because I quit.

The problem is, he promised to pay for them if not I wouldn’t want to buy new uniforms that I’m not going to wear after I quit. And I worked for a month after I bought my uniforms. He delayed the claim which was supposed to come with the salary.

I don’t know what I can do, or what I’m entitled to as a part-timer. So I’m here to ask for opinions and whether I am entitled to making uniform claims. Or am I supposed to pay for them (about SGD150+++ not a huge amount for working adults but I’m just a student trying to earn some pocket money during my holidays)? Even when I was forced to buy them in the first place?

WOMAN BOUGHT A PINK AIR PURIFIER, BUT PHILLIPS SENT HER A WHITE ONE INSTEAD

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Facebook user Buena Ee, shared how she placed an order with Philips on Shopee during their “8.8” sale for a pink coloured air purifier, and she received a white purifier instead.

Here is what she said

I purchased a pink air purifier and a filter from Philips Shopee during the 8.8 sales. Items were delivered and upon checking, they had sent me a white instead of the pink one.

I contacted their customer service and was told that the white had the same features as the pink. Yes, both models have the same features and both were discounted during the 8.8 sales. If I wanted the white I would have placed an order for it.

The unacceptable thing is, they already knew the pink one was out of stock, yet they sent out the white one to me today. My order was placed on 8th august. Customer service mentioned the pink ones ran out of stock during the 10th/11th sales. So shouldn’t I be getting the correct item since my order was placed on the 8th and the customer service team mentioned they had the stocks when my order was placed? Then why are they not honouring it? Philips should ensure the stock availability before advertising it again on the 10th and 11th.

Philips pledge to strive and fulfill customers’s orders as expected and by providing great customers satisfaction, yet telling me that I can only do a refund it for now. I wonder how many others who purchased the same day or later than me had the same experience.

S’PORE MAN WHO KILLED WIFE IN THE UK, JAILED FOR LIFE BY NEWCASTLE COURT

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51-year-old Singaporean Soong Hert Fong, was sentenced to life in prison by the Newcastle Crown Court for the murder of his wife, Pek Ying Ling.

The news was announced by the Northumbria Police on Facebook, who said that he will have to serve a minimum of 12.5 years in jail.

Northumbria Police’s statement

Today at Newcastle Crown Court a judge handed Soong Hert Fong a life sentence.

He will serve a minimum of 12.5 years behind bars after he admitted killing his wife.

All our thoughts remain with the couple’s three sons who have been left devastated beyond belief by the events of December 6 last year.

Once again we want to publicly thank them for their composure and the dignity they have shown in the face of such tragedy.

We will continue to support them in any way we can and we ask that everyone respects their privacy at this extremely difficult time.

And we want to be clear, that we will absolutely not tolerate domestic abuse or violence in any form.

When incidents of this nature do occur we are committed to bringing those responsible to swift justice.

Recap

51-year-old Singaporean Fong Soong Hert, admitted on 9 August to killing his wife of 28 years Pek Ying Ling, by smothering her to death with a pillow, on the 5th day of his murder trial.

The trial was held at the Newcastle Crown Court and was delayed for more than an hour, as Fong deliberated with his attorneys before changing his plea to guilty.

He told the court that he doesn’t remember what happened on the day of the murder and that he “wants to” but he “cannot explain”.

He added that he is really desperate to understand what happened and what went wrong.”

He told Steven Reed, the junior defence counsel that his marriage with the late Madam Pek was wonderful and never a cause of stress, adding that “we were so happy.”

Fong is set to return to court on Friday for his sentencing.

Background

The couple was travelling on the Isle of Skye in Scotland and he then suffered a bad fall on 27 November, falling down a steep edge after tripping and he then made it back to their hotel and was attended to to by staff/

He was sent to the hospital and stayed overnight, before being discharged the next morning, and the couple then continued their tour around Scotland in a rented car.

At their next destination in Inverness, Fong was still in pain and went to hospital for another checkup, and the couple then went to Edinburgh after that where they met their eldest son, and the trio then went to Newcastle by train.

The family then went to a football match and went sightseeing, and Fong had several falls throughout the trip and needed medical attention at the hospital once again.

Fong was discharged on 6 December and the couple then went back to their hotel at 12.17am, and there were seen on CCTV returning to their hotel room, and the victim was never seen alive again.

Fong later called his eldest son and told him “I hurt your mother, she’s gone,” before further adding “she’s dead.”

The victim, Madam Pek, was found on the bed and pronounced dead at the Newcastle County Aparthotel on 6 December at about 7.32am.

GUY GOT A NEW JOB WITH 99% FEMALES, SHY UNTIL DON’T DARE TO LOOK AT THEM

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An average fresh graduate here. A lengthy post ahead but I’m seeking for advices on taking on this new challenge.

For your info, I am a very plain guy. So average and normal you probably can’t find anyone more average than me. I wear my army singlet and shorts to run. Don’t style my hair and normally wear a cap. My fashion is so simple I get everything from Uniqlo. My wardrobe is dull with only White and Black, Oversized plain Tees and Joggers. I prioritize comfort more than vanity.

I’m actually a career switcher and waiting for my Uni graduation in October. I started working right after NS, enrolled in a University program 2 years later. I work full time to fund my own studies because my family is quite big (4th child). Being the youngest, there’s no finance left for me but it’s alright, I learnt a lot to be independent and am more of an individualist.

I’ve got a job offer and it is something like a dating agency, a 99% female work environment.. Now I am a guy, I’ve never been in a relationship in my entire life. I’m more of a listener to my bros’ woes and their relationship problems but hey, I’m a straight male, I do have crushes and all but I’m very uncomfortable around girls for some reasons.

If you ask whether I confess to girls before? Yes, and it turned out they aren’t straight so that’s a close chapter. It’s not like they are mean or anything, it’s just that I’m an overthinker and it’s my deadliest trait, I think of all the consequences from my actions and only take appropriate actions.

I do like my workplace but I decided to move on because I’m not actually doing anything related to my degree, therefore the experience gained doesn’t help me in my portfolio.

With the recent spate of misconduct in our society, I dare not even look at female colleagues directly in now. I avoid gazes and keep my distance. At work, I only extend my hands to help if they come and look for me. I keep my conversation short with just simple greetings.

The ladies often ask me for opinions, work-related, relationship matters, apparels or aesthetics, I always keep my replies simple and straightforward.

I mean, I’m a guy so sometime when they ask me such stuff, I don’t know what they are expecting from me, perhaps a guy’s perspective. I don’t know much about Spin or Pilates, Essence or Toners, Sunblock, Manicures, Pedicures, till the point I’m thinking what exactly do I look in front of them. A janegirl?

So now when I think about going accepting this job offer, the endless worries start to surface about how I am going to adapt to my environment.

ELDERLY MAN DIED AFTER BEING THROWN FORWARD WHEN BUS SUDDENLY BRAKED

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68-year-old Siah Keok Tiang, died after the bus that he was in suddenly braked to avoid a collision, and he was thrown forward inside the bus.

His death was ruled a misadventure by state coroner Adam Nakhoda on Wednesday (10 August).

The incident happened on 8 September 2021, and Mr Siah died eight days after the accident, succumbing to his injuries.

His cause of death was ischaemic heart disease with multi-organ failure, with the contributory cause of his death being a head injury.

The injuries he suffered were consistent with those from a road traffic accident.

Nakhoda described the incident as “unfortunate”, and said that there were lessons that drivers can learn from the tragic incident.

What happened

Siah was on his way home from dialysis treatment on board Bus 175, when the incident occurred along North Bridge Road.

He pressed the bell to indicate that he wanted to alight and was sitting on the edge of his seat on the left side of the bus at the front, and he was holding onto a pole.

The bus was driving on the bus lane on the left of the road at the time; and a car, which was on its way to pick up a food delivery, was ahead of the bus.

The driver of the car wanted to turn left into Liang Seah Street and indicated that he was turning left before the junction of Tan Quee Lan Street, about one street before Liang Seah Street.

The bus driver testified that he was about 3 to 4 cars away from the entrance to Liang Seah Street at the time and was looking in front when he saw the car cutting into his lane.

He then stepped on the brakes to avoid a collision while the car swerved back into the lane to the right side of the bus lane.

Mr Siah was then thrown off his seat and he was semi-conscious and lying down on the ground, at the front of the bus.

Paramedics then arrived and took him to the hospital, where he succumbed to his injuries, including fractured ribs and neck injuries.

He eventually died on 16 September 2021.

ELDERLY PARENTS IN MASSIVE DEBT AND BROKE, BUT STILL CAN GO AND ADOPT DOG

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Parents are in massive debt and we don’t know where to start

My brother text me and my siblings recently saying that he thought our parents weren’t doing well and needed some help financially.

He’s the only one of us kids that sees them often. I said I could help some but oh boy. We dug a little deeper and didn’t know how bad it was.

My sister said she’d help with creating them a budget and getting their credit cards paid off. And that’s when we found out that they have $19,000 in credit card debt alone!

Needless to say we were stunned. None of us had any idea it was this bad. And I’m trying to talk to them, my sister said they got super defensive and emotional.

My sister said it was like talking to an addict. They kept reassuring her it wasn’t that bad and they were fine and could take care of it. But they’re obviously not doing well.

At this point, us kids don’t even know what to do or where to start. Should we call the credit card companies and try to negotiate a lower sim if we can pay it off and close the account? Is bankruptcy an option?

The other problem is their attitude. Even with all the debt, they recently got another dog. Which means another mouth to feed (they have 3 already). And when my sister pressed them in this topic, they got angry and hung up. I don’t know exactly what was said but my sister is now mad and doesn’t want to help.

Honestly, I feel so lost. We were never rich growing up and struggled with money. I always thought it was having 4 kids on a single salary. But I’m thinking it’s also just poor money management by my parents.

PARENTS’ DIALECTS TO BE ADDED TO NEW DIGITAL BIRTH CERTIFICATES FROM 1 SEPT

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Inclusion of Parents’ Dialect in the Digital Birth Certificate

            The Immigration & Checkpoints Authority (ICA) has received several queries about the non-inclusion of the parents’ dialect in the digital birth certificate of a child.

2.          Several fields of information which are not necessary for policy and other administrative needs, including the parents’ dialect, were not included in the digital birth certificate, to simplify the registration process, and to reduce the number of fields. Information about the parents’ dialect continues to be registered by ICA, and is available in Singpass.

3.          However, we acknowledge the feelings that have been expressed on the matter. We have therefore decided to include parents’ dialect[1] in digital birth certificates issued from 1 September 2022.

Dialect Information in the Birth Certificate

4.          Prior to the introduction of the digital birth certificate, the physical birth certificate of a child carried the registered dialect of the parents. It did not carry the dialect of the child. 

5.          With the introduction of online birth registration and the digital birth certificate to replace the physical birth certificate, the registration process was simplified. The number of fields in the digital birth certificate was also reduced. In addition to parents’ dialect, the following information was excluded – the parents’ country of birth, the mother’s address, the child’s place of birth registration, and a section called “Informant’s Particulars”. Only information which is required for policy or other public administration needs, was retained in the digital birth certificate.

6.          The information relating to a person’s dialect is still available in Singpass. Singaporeans who are 15 years and older and provisioned with a Singpass account can access their dialect information via Singpass under the Personal tab. For those below the age of 21, their dialect information can also be found in their parents’ Singpass profile, under the Family tab.

Background Information

7.          Upon birth, in the national registration database, ICA ascribes to a child the dialect of the father. Individuals, including the child, the father or the mother, can subsequently change his/her dialect registered with the Government via a written declaration to ICA. This means that an individual can have a different registered dialect from his/her father, or even both parents. 

8.          This has been the practice since the 70s. In consideration of the fact that there were races in Singapore that did not have dialect groups, individuals were allowed to also register the language/dialect that they spoke, instead of their dialect by lineage.  Hence, dialect registration changed to the current practice, where individuals can change their registered dialect via a written declaration to ICA.

9.          Those who wish to check the latest registered dialect of an individual can do so via the individual’s Singpass, which is the authoritative source of the latest registered dialect information. The dialect information of the parents in the child’s birth certificate, may not be their latest registered dialect.

Inclusion of Parents’ Dialect in the Digital Birth Certificate

10.         We should have made clear the reasons for not including the information on the parents’ dialect in the digital birth certificate, and that the information was still available in Singpass.

11.         Taking into account the feedback, however, ICA will include the parents’ dialect in the digital birth certificate of a child, from 1 September 2022. For digital birth certificates issued between 29 May and 31 August 2022, parents may re-download their child’s digital birth certificate from 1 September 2022 onwards, with the inclusion of the parents’ dialect, at no additional cost. More details will be shared on the ICA website (www.ica.gov.sg) in due course.


IMMIGRATION & CHECKPOINTS AUTHORITY
12 AUGUST 2022

UNI GRAD WORKED IN CALL CENTER FOR A YEAR, LOST HIS FAITH IN HUMANITY

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Working in a callcenter has made me lose faith in humanity

I’m 24 and recently finished my degree in communication and journalism. For the past year I’ve been working in a callcenter.

Now I’m finally looking for something in my field, but I gotta say. People are the worst. Most people are braindead.

Yes you see idi*ts online. Yes you know there are dumb people. But holy crap. When you spend a year talking to people on the phone, you realize how dumb everyone is.

Seriously, it’s insane. In my experience about 1 in 20 people seemed to be intelligent.

The amount of times I ended a call and thought to myself. ‘How has this person survived this long with that brain.’ and ‘This person can vote.’ is so high.

I’ve lost faith in humanity not because of the internet. But because a human being can only handle talking to a certain amount of idi*ts. I’ve crossed that line.

Netizens’ comments

Call centers are this weird twilight lord of the flies workplace. Up to director level it’s mostly people who started out on the phones – usually no or limited higher education, and they feel like they got to where they are because they’re better than other people, and have something to prove. VPs and up have their MBA and are usually a-holes who are high on their own farts for being “executives” but are secretly bitter and view the people below them as cattle.

It’s excruciating working at a call center, but it is a great place to make connections and put some titles/bullet points on your resume. Make the most of the opportunities it does offer.

Make friends with the support staff – training, IT, workforce management, etc. they tend to be more sane and reasonable than the insane rat race of operations. I’ve retained some very good connections from my time in call center world, mostly from the support staff.

Get promoted – it’s easy to get promoted in a call center. It has little to nothing to do with your metrics (which are designed to be unattainable). Help people around you, help your sup/tl, get noticed. It gets you off the phones, and it gets titles on your resume. This is also when knowing the support staff pays off, as now if an opportunity in a support department comes up, they’ll let you know and recommend you to the hiring manager.

Next use your connections and experience to grfo and never return.

FILIPINO MAID RUNS 57KM IN ALMOST 9 HOURS TO CELEBRATE S’PORE’S NATIONAL DAY

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A Filipino maid, Jeanette Camilo Cariso, shared how she ran 57km on National Day (9 August) to celebrate Singapore’s 57th birthday, completing it in just under 9 hours.

She started her journey on Monday at about 11.15pm and her run began at her home near Somme Road, and she ran all the way to East Coast, making a round at East Coast Park from area A to H, before going around the Kallang River to Marina Barrage, and ended it at Gardens By The Bay.

She took exactly 8 hours and 51 minutes to finish her 57km run.

Here is what she said on Facebook

This is for you SINGAPURA!!!

#NDP2022

1. My very first FM (42.195km)

2. My very first Ultra (50km)

3. My very first 57km in one shot

Akala ko tapos na tears ko kanina after doing this three, I still can’t believe na nakaya ko

It’s true na #StrongerTogether Majulah!!!

#stayactive

My very last run before going home

Been in Singapore for 8 years

The 33-year-old maid shared that she has been in Singapore for almost 8 years and has been working for her current employer for 5 years.

She added that she began running when she was 21 years old in the Philippines.