How do I deal with a husband who live in his own world?

I married to my husband at 2018 and everything is good at the starting until he decided to run F&B business at 2020.He have no idea the amount of salt & sugar for the cooking but he make a decision to open the business with his friend(from decide to grand opening less than 6 months) but unlucky his friend also not a cook person so due to cannot see he fail I decide to help him and all the nightmare start.

He is not a details person, so by-force I need to take care of the ordering part with supplier & train the staffs with daily operation running. And my job not end with this, after finished at outlet I still need to continue check my staff to cook at central kitchen.

He is basically deal the apps & marketing & drive grab to cover monthly expenses. And he said business just starting so he only can pay me S$2500 a month for my work, after minus CPF left S$2k on hand. He never ask me pay for house but as in wife I will still buy my daughter needs & others stuffs.

At Aug 2021, he keep bring me & my in law to do the house viewing. Then I ask him is it he wanted to buy a new house but he said just viewing only, because he use to see property video so I trust his word. We see a few condo and he ask my opinion, then 9/7/2021 he bring me see 1 of the condo at the east coast and the salesgirl told him the price will increase on the 12/7/2021.

After viewing he seem like really get into and we sign the agreement of purchase at the midnight on 11/07/21. At the time our previous house haven get buyer and the new house only complete by 2023 so in very rush we sell house and move to rented condo. He is that kind of person who cannot listen to objection and I told him I haven ready to this big buy but he said no need me to pay, just help him pay maintenance fee is good enough.

Then on Sept 2021, he not end his dream yet. He decided to open another outlet at heartland mall but all the things still count on me. The most he deal with the renovation team but setup is done by me & my team. At this moment I already exhausted and my emotional is not so stable, I easy get angry and no more patience to deal with my surround things.

After I setup done with new outlet he give me another “SURPRISE”,he said I always ask for dog (which is before I help him in business & have my daughter) he get me a 2.5 month puppy on the Christmas. I already tell him I have no confident to take care of so many thing but he choose to ignore my word, and he roles in family just sit down watch TV & check on his phone, sleep & poop in the toilet.

Not much interactive between him, my daughter & me plus the puppy. And we quarrel a lot for all this and he said I got anger management issue, and to proof him that he is wrong I book the psychology counselling session. After done the counselling session, the psychologist said I have no anger management issue just I overwork and I feel lost and insecure to all his decision.

And my husband also not the kind of sweet talk person, since day 1 we married until now only have 1 Apple Watch as in present gift and if I ask for more he will said he already provide me house, wifi, Netflix & give me a lady boss title.

He mean I no need work like last time need punch card and can be more flexible (which is really 24/7 no end kind), And he also said he provide everything so the S$2000 salary is enough for me to spend.But as in wife I know his stingy character so when the outlet no need me, I still will go do part time nurse to get extra income. Now I’m the dilemma should I ask for divorce since my effort is not been appreciated by him and the most important issue is I dunno what kind of surprise he will give me in future.

Have joined a consultant company after graduation last year.

When i was first deployed to the first project. Everything seems fine until in Dec where i felt the burn-out.

I had then continued in the project before leaving in June. I took a no-paid leave break for a month before returning to my company with a new project.

The current project is more demanding and have longer hours than the first project with WFO everyday as well. I’m currently only 2 weeks in and have the thoughts of resigning.

The only thing that is stopping me is the uncertainties ahead as I currently do not have another job offer. I am really hating work right now and detest going to office but i am not sure if it’s my weak mental or i should go ahead and find another job that i may like.

With that said, i would also require some time to brush up on my technical skills as i’ve done nothing but PPT and Excel the past year and also not sure if im able to find another job.

What should I do?

Here are what netizens think

• You need to figure out what you want to do first. It looks like you don’t know. Find that out, then look for that job. There is no guarantee that you’ll get a better job, or get a WFH job.

• your mental health and physical health is more important, f- care the company and just get out! its okay to take a break and slowly find a better job that suits you more… in terms of the pace and don’t care so much about the salary

• I am already in the 6th year of my job and I also feel like quitting. Don’t feel motivated to go to work anymore and I can’t even take no pay leave. Currently trying to look for another job but it really isn’t easy too. Sigh.

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There is a particular someone who is working as an insurance agent I know which I’m considering pursuing but I’m not sure if I should continue. Like idk she seems my type and I just want to get to know her more and vice versa. But there are some things which set me back.

1. It’s normally group meetups so there are like 6-10 other people there (and we all know one another). It’s hard to 1 to 1 in a big group and I don’t want the other people on the group to have suspicions towards me.
   
2. She takes long to reply my texts and it’s usually just general replies. Like I ask her basic questions like ‘Hey you going?’ and she relies like ‘Yeah. You going too?’ and it mostly stays that way. Like I don’t wanna start asking things too personally but I dunno how to move along.
   
3. Don’t really know how to have a proper convo with her within the group or have a good opportunity to. Like she is talking to other people (and vice versa for me) so I don’t know how to slide into talking to her and trying to talk to her when going back isn’t feasible as we live in different parts of Singapore.
   
   Like the best way I can think of is to follow the group for supper after the activities but still the group is there.

What should I do to maximise my chances? Or should I just call it quits?

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I’m 16 turning 17 this year and waiting to start school in poly, so i took up some part time jobs. The recent one I just quit really made me damn pissed off. I work at a restaurant in a shopping mall, and I’m the only part-timer there amongst all the other adult full-timers. But they’re all super irresponsible and push all the jobs to me?? Like during rush hours (especially lunch & dinner periods), all of them disappear to smoke, go toilet etc. I’m left alone to serve all 20 tables by myself and I cannot even stop to drink water.

Once, I had to get the bill for a customer, but I had no idea how to use the cashier till. I left the customer at the cashier area for about 10 minutes while I tried to find the other workers at our break areas and even the toilet (which is like a 5 minute walk from the restaurant), but I couldn’t find anyone. Like seriously no one. So I had to try to figure out how to use the machine and get the customer to pay for the meal.

Unfortunately, I used it wrongly and technically didn’t charge the person for the meal at all (which technically I feel isn’t even my fault since nobody taught me to use the stupid thing and also nobody was there to help me when I needed it?? Like why would you leave a part-timer who only started working 2 days ago alone at the restaurant??) I admit it’s my fault for not figuring the machine out and asking for help beforehand, but isn’t this totally unreasonable??

My assistant manager even scolded me harshly the day after (in front of customers btw), even when I already apologised so many times and offered for him to dock my pay to pay for the meal. He even purposely asked me to eat my lunch in the stock taking room whereas the rest of them ate their lunch outside. I’m pretty sure he badmouthed me to the rest of the employees too. I feel like this is so unfair to me, especially since all of them literally disappeared, leaving me alone to fend for myself. Furthermore it was my first F&B job, so I wasn’t very familiar with the trade yet. Anyway, I quit the job after a month, I really cannot take the toxic environment. If I ever work in F&B ever again, I hope it will be a much better experience than this one.

For context,my mom love saying ‘you all grow up,don’t care about our feelings’ yet have they thought of their children feelings? She usually say this when we make her angry about small issues like not cleaning up.

They also love saying ‘don’t talk back’ yet how can we be reasonable with them if we can’t express our thought. I am sure many of us here goes through this.

I understand this is just her way of expressing,but when we want to express our thought,she immediately ‘don’t talk back’.

Often times, i just keep quiet & usually i do some thinking when i am in bed. Often i keep my feelings inside,often having a false persona kind of like ‘Nothing is wrong,i am ok’.

I just can’t get my head around why she love to say that everytime she not happy with my siblings/me. Sometimes she will say this while we are outside. At times,i just want to cry but i try my best to hide the tears.

I think as a parents,we should let our children express their thought. Do we ever wonder why there are childrens who run away from home? This could be one of the reason they ran away from home.

Sorry for the long paragraph. I hope for newer parents,treat your children as how you want your children to treat you. Ensure they know what is right & wrong.

I’ll do this in point form because it’s a long story. It’s about my (25F) boyfriend’s worsening lying habits (26M). Here are the events that have happened this year only, although we’ve been together for 4 years and it’s all really good up until this year:

• Early this year he lied to me about drinking with 3 female colleagues, saying he’s eating at a normal restaurant with a different bunch of people instead. His reason was that he didn’t want me to overreact and the lie was to protect me.
• Around mid year i saw TEN Singaporean influencers on his Instagram search history. They’re all super slim but curvy Chinese girls, and I’m not even Chinese. I’m half Caucasian half Malay, so it makes me think if he’s bored of me? Him and his one ex are Chinese. So, he was showing me something on Instagram and his LONG search history accidentally came up. I was shocked – how does he even remember all their usernames? Confronted him and he initially tried to cover it up but then he knew there’s no way out of it, so he apologised. He said he was “feeling it” even though we have s- twice a week. I told him it’s fine to watch p- and search up overseas influencers, but not Singaporean influencers because it hits too close to home. And some of those influencers were his seniors in university. I told him this is the last straw, if he lies to me for the third time, we are breaking up. He believed me and promised he won’t search local influencers anymore because he doesn’t want to jeopardise our relationship.
• Today, I did what I’m not supposed to do. I had a bad feeling so I logged into his Instagram account and saw that he searched local influencers again, behind my back, despite his promise. Same type – slim and curvy Chinese girls..

What should I do? He doesn’t know that i know. If I truly follow my own word, I should break up with him. But he’s a very loving and good guy, and we were gonna get engaged next year and married the year after that. No real problems in our relationship except for his recent lying habits this year. If I tell him, he’ll know I logged into his Instagram account. And then if he cheats on me, how will i know?

Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks guys!

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I ORD-Ed 3 days ago and will be starting PT uni next year. I have been actively looking for jobs since June. Using LinkedIn, jobstreet, indeed, glints etc. No luck thus far, at this point I am desperate to the point where I am applying for random admin jobs.

And no I am not gonna apply and do banquet, warehouse or any labour based jobs as I am already 23 this year and I am looking for a proper job which can boost my CV and provide me real world experience.

I’d prefer a FT/contract position over an internship role as I need the financial stability to pay my school fees and support my family despite the latter being a good option to boost my resume :/

My highest qualification is a Polytechnic diploma.

Here are what netizens said

• You want to boost resume, I believe it’s relatively easy to find an internship at a company. You want a full timers pay along with that, you need to first be able to contribute the way a full timer is able to, which means to say you already have experience, else why they pay you full time salary to train you for you to leave in <6months. Of course if I were you I also prefer that but reality is nobody will entertain you.
• Havent ORD yet but i alrd have a spot for myself at a workplace. Due to me doing v well during intern, big boss recommend me to higher ups and leave a spot for me after ORD
• I started my biz during ns lol. So negative amount of time after ORD. I recommend you do too. I’m raising my family and preparing to upgrade to our 2nd home while most of my peers are still living with mommy
• I’ve got a good idea for you, sign on bruh.

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