Hi guys, would need advice on whether I should stay in a “relationship” that I deem as toxic.

Basically, I’m not officially in a relationship with this guy but we’ve been together for almost 2 years. We fight so often & many times, the fights are very intense & aggressive. When things escalate, he would usually shout at me while standing close to me & face down to me (i don’t really know how to describe his stance; but it’s an aggressive stance). When he does this, I wouldn’t even back down & would face him head on and fight it out with him (i admit my words can be too harsh during these kind of fights & note that my temper are really bad so sometimes i maybe the one that escalated the fight). 

But ya, he raised his hands during a few of these fights but have never actually laid hands on me. He’d usually end up throwing my stuff across the room, snatching my phone away to make me stay (because i’d usually try to leave the room & get away from him), or he’d smash stuff. Just to note, he does not raise his hand/ throw or smash stuff/ snatch my phone in every single fight. It’s only during these very intense ones, but these happened probably more than 6-7 times during the 2 years – and 1 time in public. 

Other than these intense fights, we also have very frequent long & random fights (heated but not as intense as the above). 

These are the things that I can’t accept but at the same time, when things are good he’d be really very nice to me. He’d always tolerate me & gives in to me. He’d buy me stuff that I wanted to purchase myself to surprise me when I asked him for opinions on which item is nicer. He’d also always bring me to eat any food that I’m craving for & does many things that I want. Honestly, I would really settle down with him if not for the above stuff. I just don’t want to end up giving him a chance to actually hit me when our fight gets too intense? And I find that we fight way too often & too intensely with either willing to back down?

Oh on a side note, he snores REALLY loudly every night which disrupts my sleep so badly that I feel like murdering him sometimes. Any advice on how to make him stop snoring so that I can get some decent sleep when I’m with him would be greatly appreciated please!

Sister tells disabled brother to sell his flat and move in with her, then goes back on words to chase him out after taking his money and insurance payout, leaving him nowhere to shift to.

I am neither the sister nor the brother, I am just a friend. The brother got into a car accident around 10 years ago, and is paralyzed from chest down.

He has been staying at his sister’s house for the past few years, in the living room of her maisonette, which has a balcony where he can get bathed by his caretaker. He actually had a HDB, but because his medical supplies are expensive, he wanted to sell the flat. Before selling the flat, he asked his sister, like “you sure I can sell the flat?”. The sister said sure of course you can stay here. So, he sold the flat. Fast forward just few months after he sold the flat, the sister said he had to leave. She says that because of him, her family doesn’t have a living room anymore, and she has to do her work with a low chair as her table (she does not want to do her work on the dining table because the height of the table does not match her sitting position), she says she has been “looking forward to paint her living room walls”.

Also, because he travels around in a motorized wheelchair, when he comes back to the house, it leaves dirt on the floor that apparently the maid does not clean well. Because of these reasons, she wants him out of the house. The brother has been unemployed, for obvious reasons. You might ask, then just buy another flat right? Nope. The sister had been in control of his bank account because he trusted her to take care of his finances after receiving his insurance payout, but she has been taking his money for years without him knowing.

It was only this year that he found out. She took 200k+ from him to help pay for a property overseas, and as of now, yet to fully return him. She had also been deducting money as rent and utilities without telling him about it. She has also been wasting his money, around 20k, on unnecessary things like geomancy. The sister says that the brother has sufficient money in his bank & CPF to buy a flat.

Sure, but if he buys a flat, he really wouldn’t have enough money to sustain his life, given that he is unemployed. He needs to buy food, medical supplies, money for caretaker… It would literally deplete all his savings. He has also been unable to rent a flat, either under HDB or elsewhere. HDB, because he is ineligible due to the regulations.

Homeowners, upon hearing that he is disabled, don’t want to rent to him. Even if he were so lucky to be able to rent outside, it would be expensive, same as the reasons stated few sentences above. Take note, she actually has an unoccupied room on the second floor of the maisonette because her daughter had moved out after getting married. I felt that if she wanted to, she could make the room a living room for themselves since they are physically able to climb to the second floor. She can get a table in that room that matches her height since that’s so important to her. I really don’t understand how one can be so cruel to chase a disabled sibling out of the house.

To me, the problem all started when she guaranteed him a place to stay and letting him sell his house. Who would have thought that she would suddenly backtrack on her words? After all, they are siblings, why is she so cruel? I want to know if any of you reading this have another perspective to help me understand why she thinks it is okay to do all this. Also, if anyone could see if there are any actions he could possibly take legally in this situation.

Thank you for reading.

A girl shared a story online after realising her socks was constantly missing and reappear after a week or two. She posted the story on how she escaped from her sick boyfriend.

Here is the story:

I just made the most shocking discovery of my life, my boyfriend has been together with me for 2 years has a weird habit or fetish or whatever you wanna call it.

We are staying together and I realised my socks have been missing every other week. I asked my boyfriend he said that he has no idea. I started to digged around the house and I find it under the mattress and they were stacked in a pile as if someone gathered it.

I confronted my boyfriend as no one stays in the house only me and him, I asked why did he hide all my socks. He said that it’s a prank and I forgive him as it was a small matter. But something felt wrong.

I installed a CCTV secretly without my boyfriend knowing and mount it above the cabinet and faced the bed. The camera could auto-detect motion and start to record. I installed it and reviewed it a week later.

To my horror, I saw my boyfriend sniffing at my socks while “beating the aeroplane”…….

It’s not fresh socks from the laundry, its dirty socks leh.

Should I leave him or should I confront him, something is definitely not right with his head if I confront him. It would be like talking to a crazy person.

What should I do, any advice?

I’m 19 and consider myself straight. But I met this gay guy at school (age 21) and we really got on.

We made fast buddies and I admit I did strangely find him attractive. He’s taller than me, lean, thick dark hair, and super- brown eyes.

The first hint that something was up was when we were in the shower cubicle at the campus gym and I saw him without anything on. It totally turned me on.

Fortunately, I had my pants on because there was definitely a boner. So some time goes by… and we hang out (and yeah, in between I did jerk off imagining him).

Then one night about a few months ago I was over at his house and we were watching a movie. We were sitting pretty close together and I felt inclined to hold his hand so I reached over and took it.

He didn’t even seem surprised, though I did notice a smirk on his face. Anyway, he didn’t pull away and we just sat there holding hands for awhile.

Then we sort of glanced at each other, and he leaned forward and kissed me.

Then I kissed him back and we made out on his couch (at some point we were even lying down, him on top of me, with shorts removed and that got me even more turned on).

 He led me by my hand to his bedroom, we took each other’s clothes off, and had intercourse (everything including oral but short of “backdoor” since I was not prepared for that in more ways than one).

And I was confused but pretty happy, and it was honestly better than anything I’ve ever had with a girl (though my experience in that arena is rather limited). I ended up spending the night with him. From that point on, our interactions changed.

When greeting each other, we kiss, I spend a few nights a week at his place.

My roommate (who is also gay) walked in to our apartment once and found me with my head in his lap and him stroking my hair.

Afterwards, my roommate referred to him as my boyfriend, and I had to correct him, because again, I’m straight, but I feel strongly connected with him and enjoy spending time close to him.

But then last night my sister asked how things were going with my boyfriend. She said it jokingly, but it’s starting to make me self- conscious.

Am I misinterpreting this relationship, and we’re more than just close buddies who periodically have fun? Is it possible I’m not straight, or do no other straight guys feel comfortable doing stuff like this? Any advice?”

Netizens’ comments

• Ya, u are not straight. U are bi at best. And the relationship is either friends with benefit or soon-to-be boyfriend. Like even a straight male doesn’t do this kind of stuff with a close female friend?
• We’re all on a spectrum, not an on-off switch. It’s possible to love just this one male person, and not others. People love to place others into neat little boxes so that their tiny brains can get on with life, but that doesn’t mean reality is such. Just love who you love. Life’s too short, and all that jazz.